Obi-wan wasn't sure how to proceed as he held his sobbing Padawan. Anakin had always been given to excesses of emotion, but never quite like this. Typically it manifested in anger or frustration. Though Obi-wan had felt much the same when Qui-gon had died. If it weren't for that singular event in his otherwise normal life, Obi-wan might not have been able to relate to Anakin at all.
But for what Obi-wan had lost, Anakin had suffered greatly in many other ways. He could feel the swells of grief come off of the young man as he cried. There were flashes of images that crossed their bond, things that wrenched Obi-wan's heart to see and feel. But for the heartache of it all Obi-wan felt like he had finally found a missing piece to connecting with Anakin. It was physical contact, a literal physical connection. He could feel how Anakin's soul ached for it, how he needed to be held. How blind Obi-wan had been to such a simple thing for so long.
Darkness began to fall on the landscape around them as they stood there. As Anakin's cries began to lessen and his tears began to cease, Obi-wan carefully pulled away from their embrace.
"I'm sorry Master, I don't know what's wrong with me," Anakin said tearfully.
"There's nothing wrong with you, Anakin." Obi-wan said reassuringly as he looked on kindly at his Padawan. "It's getting dark. Why don't we find a place to set up camp for the night." Obi-wan suggested as Anakin wiped at his soggy eyes.
"Yeah, we should probably get to that." Anakin agreed, sniffling as he regained his composure.
The two of them kept trekking on for a short while in search of a feasible campsite. Obi-wan studied the map and had found a spot that seemed like it might have been a small enough clearing to place a tent and a small fire. Though by the time they arrived to the area in question, it didn't seem any more viable than any other place they had already passed.
Eventually it was nearly completely dark, so much so that the two of them had a difficult time traversing the terrain at all. Both of them had stumbled multiple times nearly injuring themselves in the process.
As the sun fell past the horizon beyond the canopy of the trees, the absence of its light added exponentially to the morbid and eerie feel of the forest. When they had landed, his Padawan had even voiced doubt for whether or not this was indeed a Sith planet. While Obi-wan had never doubted, he had understood why one might have held such doubts with all the lush greenery and vegetation.
Though now as the darkness enveloped all around them, Obi-wan sensed Anakin no longer doubted the Sith history of the ground on which they stood. Something about nightfall brought alive a different side to the forest. Mostly it could be sensed as a pervasive and dreadful bad feeling. The likes of which were next to never followed with anything positive.
"Master, I don't like this place." Anakin said in a small voice.
It might have been the fact that night had fallen, or it might have had to do with the fact that they were nearing the temple's location. Whatever the origin of the spiritual darkness that descended on them didn't much matter.
"Nor do I." Obi-wan answered as they pressed forwards. It was foolishness to not have set up a camp before now, Obi-wan knew it. He had been so sure they would have found a better spot to set up. Though now, it seemed doubtful anything of the sort would present itself.
"Master!" Obi-wan heard Anakin shout, while all of a sudden a rustling moved quickly at them through the forest. A figure slashed out in the space between them, and then just as quickly moved out of view.
In the low light of the moon Obi-wan saw a glistening red trickle pour out of Anakin's mouth. He gripped at his side with a look of pain on his face, before collapsing on the ground.
"Anakin!" Obi-wan shouted, falling to his knees to inspect his injured Padawan.
"Master, what's wrong?" Anakin asked, his voice rife with concern. "Are you okay?"
Obi-wan took a breath to steady his senses. The spot where his bloodied Padawan had fallen was empty, just a patch of undergrowth. Anakin hovered over him, his blue eyes seared with fear he didn't dare voice.
Slowly, Obi-wan regained his footing and eyed Anakin up and down with concern. Clearly he wasn't suffering any injuries. Not the likes of which he had just seen. "I… You were just…"
"I was what, Master?" Anakin asked, hanging on every word Obi-wan spoke for some sense of security in the growing uncertain situation.
"It's nothing." Obi-wan heaved, running a hand over his face in bafflement. "We need to set up a camp for the night immediately. I'll start clearing out this brush and you can go ahead and start up a small fire." Obi-wan ordered in routine fashion.
"Yes, Master." Anakin said obediently as he set his pack down and stretched out his shoulders before he began.
The two of them made quick work of setting up camp. As soon as Obi-wan had cleared out the space, Anakin started up the fire. He lit torches and placed them around the perimeter of the clearing they created to bring more light to the space while Obi-wan set up their small tent at the center. Neither of them spoke a word, but they could feel the shared fear that struck across their bond.
As soon as camp was set Obi-wan along with Anakin sat between the mouth of the tent and the fire with two meal packs. Obi-wan studied the plastic pack he held in his hands with a lack on interest while Anakin quickly turned the heating dial on his ration. Anakin didn't waste a moment after it was heated well enough and devoured the whole thing in a few heaping bites.
But Obi-wan wasn't hungry. The vision he had seen earlier of his Padawan in mortal distress haunted him. He supposed it was meant to. They were nearing a Sith temple after all so it was no surprise that the Sith would resort to such tactics to keep Jedi out. They must have put immense effort into creating relics that would repel for hundreds and thousands of years after their makers were dead.
Obi-wan felt even more dread as he thought what they might face as they continue to approach the temple. They still had the majority of the distance to go before they were even in the vicinity of their destination. Though he didn't allow himself to think on it for long. He smiled a bit to himself as he thought of what his Master would have said if he were there.
Qui-gon would have reminded him to stay in the moment. So Obi-wan did just that. He looked over to his Padawan who was crumpling up the used meal container and stowing it away in one of their backpacks. Sensing eyes on him, Anakin turned to face his Master.
"Your finished with your food already?" Obi-wan said with raised brows. Anakin was always growing and ravenous to match.
Anakin gave a nod. "Yes, Master." He said and waited for a lecture to ensue.
"I don't have much of an appetite. You can have mine, too if you like." Obi-wan said as he offered up the meal pack to his Padawan.
"You're not hungry? Are you sure?" Anakin asked, wide eyed.
"Really, I'm not going to eat it so you can have it." Obi-wan said in assurance.
Anakin gave him a look of disbelief before taking it off of his Master's hands with a wide grin. "How can you not be hungry?" Anakin said incredulously as he twisted the heat dial and greedily awaited his second portion to be ready to eat.
"Honestly? It's this place." Obi-wan said, eyeing around the perimeter of their crude campsite. "I don't like it."
Anakin nodded his head in agreement as he shoveled the contents of the meal pack into his mouth faster than Obi-wan thought possible.
"Wow you really were hungry," Obi-wan said with a small smile as Anakin finished the second meal pack and stowed the trash in the same manner as the first container.
"I'm always hungry," Anakin said with his brows furrowed before he looked back over to Obi-wan. "Thank you."
"Of course," Obi-wan replied, clapping a hand around the young man. Anakin pressed his head against his Master's shoulder in response as he gazed out over the fire. Obi-wan smiled. If only things could always be this simple. Only they never were.
It was so rare to have a moment where they weren't constantly at odds with each other. Even more rare to find a moment of true peace. It was surprisingly ironic to find such a thing on a Sith planet of all places. Though harsher situations did find a way of forging the toughest relationships. Obi-wan thought fondly over things he and his Master had been through together, and how their bond always seemed to become closer each time they were in danger or when they had to rely on one another.
Perhaps Master Yoda was right. Maybe no one was ever truly ready for something, until one was made to go through it. Obi-wan could think of many situations where that held true for him. Just like he had never been ready to lose his Master, or fight the Sith who had killed him before his very eyes. He had never been ready to take on a Padawan, but he had all the same.
And somehow things turned out. It was always a pitfall for him to overthink things. His Master had always told him as much.
"I'm tired." Anakin said as he yawned and stretched his arms out overhead. "I think i'm going to go to sleep."
"That's a wise idea. I think I shall be doing the same." Obi-wan announced as he also stood and stretched before climbing into their tent. The interior of which was very meager, consisting of two travel pillows and sleeping bags. Obi-wan placed the two packs inside the tent near to the entrance.
Both of them began to strip down to their small clothes before nestling in for the night. Anakin however, winced and gasped as he pulled his boots off his feet.
"You're hurt," Obi-wan remarked as he knelt down to examine his Padawans feet to see them bloody and torn from the harshness of stiff leather.
"New boots." Anakin explained, waving off his Master as he continued to pull his leggings off.
"Ah." Obi-wan nodded as he rummaged through one of their backpacks for a med kit.
"I had gotten used to it until I had to take them off." Anakin said as he reclined back onto his sleeping bag.
"Well we can at least wrap them up for the night to help with the swelling" Obi-wan said in mandate as he pulled his Padawans feet up to bandage them.
Anakin showed signs of silent protest, but none came to verbal fruition as Obi-wan made quick work of caring for the injury. He applied some bacta to the area thoroughly before wrapping them as an extra measure.
Obi-wan smiled. "I can't remember how many times my Master bandaged me like this. I was always so clumsy, always spraining or breaking something." He said as he looked in the distance with fond remembrance.
"You- clumsy?" Anakin said in disbelief. For a moment Obi-wan thought there may have been a hint of sarcasm. As he finished with his work and settled down in his own sleep sack opposite the young man, he instead saw a look of honest astonishment in his eyes.
"I'm afraid so," Obi-wan chuckled.
"You just seem so…" Anakin said open endedly, searching for the right word before continuing. "I mean… when you fight, your form is practically perfect. It's art." Anakin said, his eyes gleaming with admiration.
Obi-wan's heart felt a swell of pride for a moment as Anakin's youthful idealization of his Master was revealed. He always focused so much on his own faults that he had never thought he could do anything right in the eyes of his Padawan. Though he remembered how he too had put his own Master, Qui-gon Jinn, on a level of his own.
"At the heart of all skill is practice, patience and perseverance." Obi-wan stated simply, not wanting to give too much credence to Anakin's inflated perspective. After all, every idealization is eventually met with a more disappointing reality.
"I guess." Anakin said, nestling into his sleeping bag, careful not to upset the wrapping or wounds on his feet.
A stillness grew in the air between them as they both adjusted as comfortably as they could in the circumstances. The flickering light of the perimeter torches along with the campfire that still crackled outside cast an orange glow on the two men who both lie with their eyes wide open, staring up at the tent ceiling.
Typically they would have extinguished the fires before now but being in such an unsettling place, neither of them really wanted to put them out. Although neither of them spoke of it they could feel the mutual feeling resonate across their bond.
Obi-wan strained his ears to listen, hearing nothing but deafening silence past the crackle of the fire and torches. Though it was reasonable to believe anything he might have heard out of the ordinary from the silence they had experienced all day, might be of Sith origin. Another relic warning them to stay away. Whether the supposed threats might have been real or conjured, Obi-wan found it near to impossible to even think of resting.
"It's funny, now that i'm laying here I don't think I'll be able to sleep, even though i'm exhausted." Anakin said with a sigh as he laced his fingers behind his head.
"We have to at least try," Obi-wan said as much to himself as to Anakin. "Though you're right. It's not easy to let one's guard down in a place like this."
"Are you going to put out the fire and the torches?" Anakin asked in a small voice.
"I planned on staying up until they burnt out on their own, to be honest." Obi-wan admitted. He should have been setting a better example for his Padawan. It was shameful to be so given to fear. Though he was sure that it was at least slightly understandable. Everything about a Sith planet was meant to keep a Jedi away. Even the fear he was feeling might have very well been inspired of Sith machinations.
"Don't you need to sleep, too?" Anakin asked, looking over to his Master.
"Well yes, I suppose I probably should put out the fire." Obi-wan said. Quickly with a touch of the force he extinguished all fires outside the tent. With the next to non existent moonlight outside, he could barely see a thing even with his eyes wide open.
The silence that hung in the air was eerie and still. All Obi-wan could hear was his own breathing, and that of his Padawan. Both of which was accelerated by the low grade fear that permeated the air, infecting their spirit.
But eventually as the silence drew out Obi-wan could hear Anakin begin to snore. He looked over at the man and smiled. If Anakin could find rest, he could, too. After all there was little the Sith could do by inflicting a pervasive bad feeling, or even visions. Not that both of those things were pleasant at all. The point was that it was completely survivable, and not physically harmful. It was a war waged in the mind and nothing else. That he could handle.
….
Anakin fell asleep quicker than he thought he would under the circumstances. Usually he was able to fall asleep anywhere when he needed to. It was a quality that he had learned while living as a slave. It was important to get rest when one could.
But his sleep was anything but peaceful.
His mind took him back to a place he hadn't been for a very long time. It wasn't often he let himself think on it at all. There were many times in his young life that he had felt strong, overwhelming fear. During his time in training he had been taught to release these things. And he did try over and over. But it wasn't so simple.
Though it wasn't often that he ever dreamt at all. It was said that Jedi never had dreams, that they had visions instead. Though why he would be made to revisit this memory he didn't understand.
"Go on and play with Aimee, little Ani. Mommy will be back to get you soon." Shmi said with a smile. But it didn't reach her eyes. It never did when she sent him away like this.
"I don't want to go," Anakin said adamantly, crossing his arms stubbornly.
"Ani it's very important that you listen to me. You have to go. I promise I will be back for you." Shmi said again, this time not attempting to smile at all. There was an urgency in her voice that Anakin didn't understand.
"Something bad is going to happen, I know it. I'm not going to leave you, Mom." Anakin insisted.
He could see her eyes gloss over, he could feel the sadness and fear gnawing in her heart. "Nothing bad is going to happen. But you have to go to Aimee's house, understand?"
"No, I won't go." Anakin said, shaking his head. "What's wrong Mom? Why do you want me to go?"
Before she could beg anymore, two large men walked through the door to their home. They didn't bother to knock or announce themselves. The strode in as if they had done so many times over.
Shmi turned pale and stood straight up immediately. She looked over to the two that lumbered in towards her casually with a harrowing stare. "Anakin, go to Aimee's house now." She ordered sternly, in a voice she hardly ever used with him.
One of the brutes put his hands on her shoulders and began to lead her away into the other room. "Go Anakin, please," she begged, her voice breaking as she tried not to cry.
"Get your hands off my Mom," Anakin said as he walked up to the man who was now more aggressively pushing Shmi into the other room. Without a thought to his own safety he kicked the man as hard as he could between his legs which promptly sent him stumbling over into the wall allowing Shmi to escape his grasp.
"Run Mom, get out of here!" Anakin screamed as the brute he had hurt quickly grabbed him by his shirt and threw him across the room into the counter top that jutted out by a few inches. The impact knocked the wind out of his lungs for a few seconds. But by the time he remembered how to breathe again, the man had his hands on him.
"No please don't hurt him!" Shmi cried out as the other man took to shoving her into the other room instead while the first sent a strafe of blows to Anakin's ribs and stomach.
Between punches and incoherent shouting from the man who was beating him, Anakin could hear sickening sounds from the man in the other room, and the soft quiet sobbing of his mother beneath the louder grunts and moans.
After the man was satisfied that Anakin had learned his lesson, he was left in a pile on the floor, leaking blood out of too many wounds to count. He had broken too many bones to move without excruciating pain. It made everything he had to witness that much worse, knowing he couldn't do a thing to help anyone. Not even himself.
His heart wrenched in his chest as the man who had beat him left him there and went over to the room with Shmi and the other man. The sobs and cries that came from the other room escalated quickly. They were unbearable. Anakin thought he would endure the same beating a thousand times if it meant he could spare his mother from suffering at the hands of those two monsters.
His jaw had been too beaten to speak or say anything but his heart cried out for his mother. His eyes had been wet with tears and blood that trickled down from lacerations in his scalp as he sobbed. It was a helpless sorrow that his young heart didn't know what to do with.
It had been a memory that he carefully tucked away from his consciousness. It was simply too painful to let himself think about. It wrenched his core to the point he thought he might break.
"Anakin," a kind voice called out as his shoulders were jostled. Only his body didn't hurt like it was supposed to, not as if he had just been beaten.
"Mom," Anakin cried out in lament. If only he were stronger, then he could have protected her.
"Anakin, wake up. It's just a dream." Obi-wan said softly as he continued to jostle his shoulders, being careful to not be too violent with him.
Anakin blinked his eyes open and sat up in his sleeping bag and took a heaving breath in an attempt to still his sobbing. Mostly he was able to, but he couldn't quite stop the tears from falling down his face.
"I… I couldn't protect her…" Anakin cried, his voice breaking with tears. "She… They… What they did to her- I-"
Anakin could barely make out his Master's concerned face in the low light of the moon. That cursed moon. It was still night. It couldn't be over soon enough.
"She tried to get me to leave but I couldn't leave her there. I knew, I knew something bad was going to happen." Anakin croaked "I could feel it, even then I could feel it."
"Anakin, I'm so sorry," Obi-wan said softly, genuinely.
"I thought Jedi didn't have dreams." Anakin said with a tremor to his voice. "I can't go back to sleep. I don't want to see anymore."
"For the most part, Jedi don't have dreams. We have visions. It's this place. The ancient Sith put traps in place, safeguards to deter Jedi like ourselves from getting close to their treasures and artifacts. It's been affecting me as well." Obi-wan explained.
"The artifacts prey on your weaknesses. Earlier, just before we set up camp, I thought I saw something come out of the brush and the next thing I knew, you were on the ground in a pool of blood." Obi-wan said with shameful recognition. "No one is above being influenced by this place."
"I just want to get what we came for so we can leave already." Anakin said in his usual frustrated tone. "How long before sunrise?"
Obi-wan rummaged through his tunics beside his sleeping bag to pull out the small data pad. He let out a dejected sigh before he spoke. "Six more hours."
"You were right. I wasn't ready for this mission. You should never have brought me. Master Yoda was wrong." Anakin spat.
"If we always wait for when we think we're ready, we'll never be. I was wrong to doubt your abilities for the mission. You're more than competent." Obi-wan said assertively.
"But you still didn't want me here. I'm just a burden for you to worry about." Anakin accused.
"Anakin I hope you know that's not true." Obi-wan said, his eyes searching out the darkness to find his student's eyes.
"Why would you possibly want me to come along with you?" Anakin said scornfully.
"In all honesty, this place scares me. The power it still has even though it's been vacant for hundreds of years scares me. With you here I feel… better. Being alone here would be unbearable." Obi-wan said with a shade of vulnerability in his voice. "This place will use all our weaknesses against us. You can be sure of that."
"You're just trying to make me feel better." Anakin said with a sniffle.
"So what if I am?" Obi-wan said with a smile.
Anakin paused. What he wanted to ask next made him feel awkward. He knew his Master could sense his hesitation. Obi-wan could always sense the gist of what was going through his mind. At times it was a curse. Though sometimes it was a relief. At the moment, Anakin couldn't tell which it was.
"What is it?" Obi-wan asked as he turned to face him. It was unusual for Anakin to be so open with his Master. Though usually all he would receive was a reprimand or correction. He didn't think he could take that sort of rejection right now, not with what he wanted to ask. It was too delicate, too vulnerable.
Taking a shaky breath, Anakin began to stumble over his words. "Do you mind… I mean… Is it okay if I… I just don't think i'll be able to sleep without someone next to me after-"
"Yes, that's fine." Obi-wan said with a smile. Immediately Anakin felt himself breathe a sigh of relief. "Here," he said, pulling the zip to his sleeping bag open. "Just zip your bag onto mine."
Taken aback, Anakin hesitated at the suggestion. "Are you sure?" He asked sheepishly. If there were any more light in the space Anakin knew his Master would have been able to see the blush rise up in his cheeks. He couldn't help but feel silly for the request to begin with, let alone how readily his Master was willing to accommodate him.
"Yes. I'm sure." Obi-wan said with an amused chuckle.
Without another word Anakin did as he was told and unzipped the side of his bag and attached it to his Master's. It was a strange feeling as he nestled in close to Obi-wan. He hadn't asked to sleep next to him since he had been a new Padawan. And even then, it had never been often.
Aside from that fact, Obi-wan had never been one for shows of physical affection. But now in the span of one day he had held him while he cried, and now was allowing him to lie next to him as well.
It was different. Anakin couldn't quite put a finger to it, but it felt like it was fulfilling a need that had gone long without being sated. Something he hadn't even realized he needed until it was presented to him.
The simplicity of human contact stilled a piece of his restless heart that usually remained untempered in his chest. In the most miraculous of ways, his unease became peace. The steady hum of his Master's aura was an unexpected remedy to the turmoil that was ever ravaging his mind and soul as it surrounded him with calm and steady tones. An unconditional comforting presence.
He had been well acquainted to the feel of his Master's aura before, but never had experienced it quite like this. He had always been on the outside looking in. Now he felt the warmth envelop him, calming the sea of emotion that boiled beneath the surface of his heart to a blissful stillness.
"Is this better?" Obi-wan asked, the bass of his voice reverberating gently, tickling Anakin's skin where it made contact with his Master.
Anakin silently nodded, drinking in the feeling of tranquility that he was rarely privy to. He felt like he should apologize for his neediness. What other Master would be holding their Padawan in such a way under any circumstances? He was being greedy, childish and not self sufficient like he ought to have been.
In response to the conflict that began to take root in his heart, Obi-wan wrapped his arms around him, Immediately defusing any and all inner debate about anything. Anakin's mind went blank. All he could think about was the feeling of his Master's body against his own and how perfect it was. How safe he felt in Obi-wan's arms. He even dared to close his eyes, a step in the right direction to be able to fall back asleep.
But he resisted it. He didn't want to fall asleep. It was possible he would fall back into another nightmare. Just the thought made his heart pound with dread.
"What's wrong?" Obi-wan asked softly. His voice was gentle, perhaps even hypnotic. It lulled Anakin away from the darker feelings, but didn't quite rescue him entirely from their clutches.
"I'm afraid to go back to sleep." Anakin said into his Master's chest as he pressed himself closer to the man in response.
"You're afraid you'll have another vision?" Obi-wan said, his voice subdued with kindness and understanding.
Anakin nodded his head into Obi-wan's chest. In return his Master pulled a hand through his hair gently, holding him close.
"It is possible. But if that happens, I'll be right here. Nothing from your past can come back to hurt you. Right now it's just the two of us." Obi-wan said reassuringly. Though his words were cut with a slight uncertainty. Either he didn't put full stock in them, or he expected Anakin to react badly to them.
"But it does hurt." Anakin mumbled into his Master's chest.
"I'm so sorry," Obi-wan said, his voice steeped in sadness.
Without anything more to say, Anakin lie in his Master's arms until he fell asleep. Between crying himself into exhaustion and the comfort of the man's presence, it didn't take long for him to drift off again. Only once Anakin had fallen asleep, did Obi-wan allow himself to rest.