Hello everyone!
So a big thanks to all my reviewers, especially one guest who gave me a very thorough and informative explanation for how Baron and other such titles worked in the century the Grey Lady lived in. I admit I was slightly lax on my research of that subject, going mostly by what was covered in the Harry Potter wiki. I honestly know very little about how the titles worked back then.
I will say this, the Baron, in my headcanon and in this story, was not a nobody before being given the title of Baron. He was a well to due man of nobility or whatever worked as a form of nobility at the time. It has always been my canon that the early years of Hogwarts were for the rich, given it was founded by wealthy Lords and Ladies such as the Hogwarts founders. With their fame and notoriety and accomplishments, they were probably very well to do. The initial years of the school would probably require building up a budget to keep it running too, so it was probably very pricey to attend, making it accessible only to those of high status (with muggleborns probably receiving some assistance). Keep in mind that before Hogwarts was founded, people in England and Scotland probably were taught by family how to use magic, with muggleborns not learning and most likely having to go into hiding to avoid being executed by the religious, living unaware of what they were. So like many schools when they first came to be, they would probably be something for the wealthy while the working class was left to learn on their own.
So the Baron was a wealthy man of status and good standing before he became a Baron. I hope that clears some things up.
This chapter has some good old fleshing out of characters, namely Marlene.
Enjoy!
If Someone Cared Enough
Chapter Forty-Two: Girl Talk
"Marlene, can I talk to you for a second?" Lily asked timidly in the common room one afternoon.
Looking up from the book she was currently preoccupied with, Marlene took in Lily's unsure expression.
"Sure, Lils," she said welcomingly, moving her legs from where they draped over the armrest and shifting to make room on the couch for her friend, "What can I do for you?"
Lily sat down uneasily on the edge of the seat, unable to meet her friend's eyes, "Well it's about…this guy…"
"Eeeee!" Marlene squealed, getting the attention of several nearby students and making Lily duck down in embarrassment.
"You've never asked me for boy advice before," Marlene gushed, "This is big, girl, very big. Ooh, I'm so giddy!"
The smiled dropping off her face, Marlene looked at Lily seriously, "Okay, I think that makes up for the tomboyish issue Meldonna's always bitching about. Now that we've got the whole stereotypical garbage out of the way, what's on your mind? Got dirty thoughts about some boy?"
"No!" Lily bawked, falling backwards on the couch.
Marlene looked at her expectantly.
Lily blushed, "I mean…kinda?"
Marlene grinned, "Now we're getting somewhere. So who is it? Someone I know?"
Lily looked away, "I can't just tell you that."
Marlene hummed, "Never mind, I think I've got a good idea who it is anyway," she smirked knowingly at Lily, "Figures he'd win you over after all these years of fawning over you," she muttered out the side of her mouth.
"What was that?" Lily asked.
"Nothing," Marlene dismissed, thinking of a certain sour faced young man, "Let's put who it is to the side for now. Instead, tell me what it is your feeling?"
Lily shifted in discomfort, "I don't know, really. It's all very confusing. I guess I feel…happy when I think of him, but now it makes my stomach tingle too or something. I feel…embarrassed and awkward around him. And I keep thinking about him. Like, more so than usual."
"And what sort of things cross your mind when you think about him," Marlene asked.
Lily fidgeted, "You know…things…"
"Like what?" Marlene prompted.
Lily squirmed in her seat, "Like…how he smells nice…and how nice his eyes are…"
"You think about his body?" Marlene asked bluntly.
"Marlene!" Lily hissed.
Marlene's smile was positively wicked, "You think about his dick?"
Lily clapped her hands over her friend's mouth.
"I can't believe you asked that!" Lily said, scandalized.
Marlene stared calmly at Lily, unphased.
"Well do you?" Marlene asked when Lily pulled her hands away.
"No!" Lily denied hotly, "Not really."
"Lily," Marlene sing songed.
"Okay maybe a little bit," Lily admitted in a rush, "But nothing that lewd. He's just…got nice hands with really long fingers…a-and he's tall…got nice shoulders…"
"But nothing about his dick?" Marlene asked again.
Lily stammered unintelligibly.
Marlene waved her off, "Relax, relax. I'm only teasing. You're too uptight Lily. It's the 70's; be honest with what you want. There's nothing shameful about admiring a man's body."
"But we've known each other for so long," Lily mumbled, "It's makes things so…weird."
Intrigued, Marlene tilted her head, "How so?"
"I'm not supposed to feel attracted to him," Lily explained, "That complicates everything. I'm supposed to just see him as…as…friends don't think about friend's asses!"
Marlene whistled, "Ooh, sounds like he's gotten your blood pumping. What brought this on?"
Lily bit her lip; she knew she couldn't tell Marlene the actual reason. It was still too embarrassing for Lily to even think about, let alone share with anyone else. How do you explain that you might have liked possibly arousing your lifelong friend? Because that's what it was; Lily could try and deny it all she wanted, but there was something appealing about catching Severus's attention in such a way. Any other boy lusting after her filled Lily with unease lately, but even with such a blunt and noticeable reaction on Sev's part, she didn't fill threatened. In fact, a part of her felt a little…pleased with herself.
Lily twiddled her fingers, "Nothing, really…well something…look, for years I guess I figured he might find something about me attractive; I hear it enough about my looks from plenty of other boys. So I guess it isn't out of the realm of possibility…only now he's started to pull away from me, you know? Suddenly I'm not the center of his world anymore and I'm not sure how to feel about it."
It was certainly disheartening to see how much distance Severus had put between them as of late. She knew he was probably mortified by the incident in the alcove, but surely that wasn't enough to ruin their friendship. Of course, that train of thought just caused Lily more concern; if their friendship could be rattled by a mere embarrassing moment of intimacy, then how would it fair if they ever did become something more than friends and it didn't work out?
"I mean, what if this screws everything up between us?" Lily fretted, "We get along just fine as we are now, or we did before he started distancing himself. What if going further would only ruin it and then we can't go back to how things were before?"
"Slow down, Lily," Marlene soothed, "You're getting ahead of yourself. This is a crush, not full-blown love. Not yet at least. You aren't making plans to run off and marry the guy and have thirteen kids with him or anything. You don't have to jump into anything serious." She scrutinized Lily curiously, "You've had crushes before, right?"
Lily nodded, "Yes. I've had a crush on at least one person before, but it didn't really develop into anything."
Marlene grinned at her, "Was it Longbottom?"
Lily flushed scarlet, "How did you know?"
"Because nearly every girl has been after that man at some point," Marlene laughed, "Myself included. Alice had to beat us off with a stick. There's just something about handsome mama's boys; they make you want to corrupt them."
"You're too much," Lily groaned.
Marlene shrugged, "I'm just being honest."
"So what should I do," Lily asked, "About…my friend?"
Marlene stretched out, popping a few kinks in her back, "Listen, don't overthink things too much. You still aren't sure where you actually stand with your emotions anyway. This could be the beginning of something more or just teenage curiosity."
"So I just do nothing?" Lily worried, not liking the sound of that.
Marlene shook her head, "I'm not saying that. You should just…feel things out for a bit. Take it from me; exploring what you want and what makes you feel good is perfectly fine. Test the waters…but discreetly."
Lily furrowed her brow, "How would I go about doing that?"
"Well first off, let's work on bridging the gap that's arisen between you," Marlene said, "Seek him out, invite him to things, spend time together; just get him to be around you more."
Lily nodded, "Okay, then what?"
"Test the waters, girl," Marlene replied, "Spend time with him just the two of you—as friends—and just see how he makes you feel. Does his laugh make your heart skip a beat? Does brushing your hand against his make you go all warm and fuzzy inside? Does his company make you feel better than with anyone else? You have to start evaluating if it is him you're becoming attracted to, or if you've just started to get curious about his body because he's a guy and you're a girl."
"I guess I could give it a shot," Lily agreed, "I could invite him to go shopping with me for Christmas gifts."
"There you go," Marlene encouraged, "To him, it will just be you two hanging out, so he should be moderately relaxed around you."
Lily smiled, confidence rising in her, "You're right. And it will be good just to spend time with him."
Neither girl noticed the long skinny tail slip under the couch and out of sight.
{page break}
"She misses me," James crowed victoriously.
Peter had just returned from the common room and found his friends in the kitchens to regale them of his findings over a helping of sweets and hot chocolate.
Peter fiddled with his fingers nervously; not wanting to dash his friend's hopes, "That's not quite right…"
"That's not what Peter said, James," Remus said, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, "He said Lily is noticing the distance of a friend and she may be attracted to them. That doesn't mean it's you."
Peter nodded gratefully at Remus. Truthfully, Peter had a difficult time listening in under the couch due to how muffled it was down there. However, what he did pick up was so vague and non-specific that the object of Lily's affections could be any boy she spent time with.
The most obvious choice would be Snape, but Peter wasn't about to put that theory out there with James in earshot. Plus, Lily did have a few other male friends, few though they were. That Ravenclaw boy had been spending an awful lot of time with her and Snape lately, and the marauders didn't know who she hung out with every waking moment. There could be other guys she was friends with.
"She never mentioned anyone by name," Peter pointed out, glancing at James worriedly.
"There, you see?" Remus said.
"Think about what she said, Moony," James refuted, "It all adds up: someone who's close to her, she's never liked them that way before, they've started pulling away," he pointed at himself, "What's closer than being in the same freaking house as her? We see each other constantly, share a common room and everything. And for years she's been rejecting me, but now she's coming around. And the now that I'm no longer hounding her, she's noticed and it bothers her. It has to be me!"
"But I don't think she views you as a friend, Prongs," Peter pointed out cautiously, "You're more her classmate than anything…"
'When you aren't pissing her off,' he added to himself.
"Evans is a stubborn one," Sirius pointed out, ignoring Peter, "This is probably all so 'confusing' for her because she just doesn't want to admit she fell for James."
James snapped his fingers, point triumphantly at Sirius, "See?!"
"That doesn't mean it's definitely you," Remus argued, "Besides, it hardly matters now; you've got Jess," he raised an eyebrow at James, "Right?"
James coughed, "Well yeah…I mean, of course it's too late now. So sad, too bad, Evans. She should have noticed me when she had the chance. I'm just saying, it's a crying shame she had to come to this realization now and not back when I was interested in her."
Remus eyed James skeptically, "Right…"
"Don't worry, Moony," James assured, "I'll be a gentleman about this, let her down gently. Not her fault she fell for my charms a year too late."
"I hope you're being sincere about all this, James," Remus warned, "I don't want any more drama caused by us. We're too old for such nonsense and playing with girls' affections is low."
"I already told you that I'm one hundred percent genuine on this," James promised, "While I'm flattered, I've already moved on. Plus, Lily isn't even sure of her feelings by the sounds of it. Why dump a girl who's crazy about me, only to risk going back to pursuing Evans and her losing interest? I'll stick with what I have, thank you."
Peter resisted snorting, 'More like you'll bide your time until you know for sure Evans likes you, then ditch Jess.' James wouldn't risk giving up the adoration and attention of Jess until he knew Evans definitely wanted him. Until then, he'd probably enjoy the high of having someone shower him with praise and compliments, waving it all under Lily's nose until she was positively green with envy.
Remus took a bite of his cauldron cake, watching James through narrowed eyes.
"I must say, that's awfully mature of you, James," he remarked, "I just hope you mean it."
{page break}
The weeks went by and the days became progressively chillier atop the rolling hills where Hogwarts rested. The light flurries of late November gave way to heavy snowfall that decorated the early December landscape in a blanket of white, the chill adding a flush to everyone's cheeks and a bitter red to the tip of nearly every nose.
Fall well and truly behind them, students bundled up in their warmest coats and mittens in order to venture out every weekend in search of gifts for loved ones from the stores at Hogsmeade. The rise in visitors every winter meant the little village profited quite well and many stores raised their prices and promoted 'sales' of their goods in bulk bundles in order to make a tidy sum off excitable young costumers.
Some could call it swindling, but the shop keeps called it good business.
The approaching weekend put many students in a good mood that morning in the Great Hall, with girls pouring over Witch Weekly for tips on the 'perfect gift' and boys anticipating letters from mother's and sisters at home carrying advice on what to buy their someone special.
The most self-centered and stuffy of purebloods engaged in no such frivolities, confident their house elves at home would complete the shopping for them without any input on their part, so long as the items were extravagant and demonstrated their vast wealth.
Severus normally would be ruminating on the ideal present for Lily as he had every year—thought previous years did not grant him the allowance the Evans family had sent him for spending money this year. He should be enjoying the freedom the money in his pocket gave him to find Lily something truly deserving of her instead of the usual cheap trinket he scraped and saved every cent for the previous years.
However, currently occupying Severus's thoughts was the rather garishly decorated red and green envelope in his hands.
Earlier that day, as Severus finished a decent lunch of cabbage and beef, Slughorn descended upon him in his usual dramatically joyful fashion. Presenting him with the gold trimmed and tinsel tasseled invite, Slughorn announced his annual Winter Gala set for the second to last night before winter holidays.
Severus had only taken the envelope so end their conversation sooner, but Slughorn only rambled on oblivious to his students reluctance to participate, raving about the décor and catering he planned for the festive event.
It had been Severus's impression that the champagne filled party was normally reserved for Seventh Years and Slughorn's compatriots who were of age, but Slughorn apparently deigned it of great importance that he invite Severus personally.
After a reminder to dress his best and a good natured wink that only served to irritate Severus, Slughorn moved on down the table to discuss timetable changes with his fifth year Slytherins.
And so, Severus found himself in possession of a rather unwanted invitation to an event he would rather swallow skel-grow than attend.
His contemplations on whether it was possible to make the letter burst into flames from sheer will alone were interrupted by a voice pleasant to hear, but that sent Severus's pulse racing.
"Um…hi Sev."
Severus jumped, surprised at how close Lily got to him without him even noticing her presence. She stood only mere inches away from him, an awkward half smile on her face.
"Sorry," she apologized kindly, "I tried to get your attention before, but you seemed to be lost in your own thoughts."
"It's fine," Severus assured her, "Just…musing on some subjects."
Lily looked down at the envelope in Severus's hands, "I see you got in invite from Slughorn as well," she pulled out one of her own, "Me too."
Severus would like to say he wasn't surprised that someone as bright as Lily received an invitation, but it honestly caught him off guard to know she would be there as well. He'd been too busy commiserating how much he'd despise being there that he forgot to factor in that there may be others there whom he was struggling to stay collected around lately; namely Lily, "So it would seem."
"Are you going to go?" Lily asked hesitantly.
Severus frowned down at the invite in his hands, "I'm honestly not sure. Seems like another golden opportunity for Slughorn to tote us as trophies to all his friends."
"Because, I was thinking we could go together," Lily pushed on as if she hadn't heard, "As friends. I mean, I know these events aren't your sort of thing, but we did have some fun last time and…it could be nice…"
Severus's mind was still stuck on Lily suggesting they go together.
'As friends, you idiot,' he reprimanded himself, 'She said as friends.'
"So what do you say?" Lily prompted nervously when Severus didn't respond right away.
"I suppose some enjoyment could be had in such an event," Severus began tentatively.
Lily began to smile in relief.
"But," Severus went on, and he hated to wipe that smile from her face, "It is a formal event, Lily. I don't exactly have access to the finest dress robes."
"We could go shopping," Lily suggested, "My parents could—"
"Absolutely not," Severus said firmly, "Those things are hideously expensive and your parents have already been forced to tighten their purse strings by taking me in."
"I doubt they would mind," Lily persuaded.
Severus raised his hand to quiet her, "Christmas is already a costly time of year, Lily. I do not feel comfortable putting them out like that, especially when they already have a family to provide for."
"You're part of that family, though," Lily argued weakly.
Warmth spread in Severus's chest at those words, but he refused to budge, "My mind is made up. I will not ask them to spend money on something I'd only wear once. Besides, this event is just another excuse for Slughorn to ride our coattails since we made front page in the paper this summer. He's just hoping to expand his own notoriety and privileges. If we make something of ourselves after graduation, he's set to gain quite a bit of glory for teaching us."
Lily looked as if she wished to argue further, but opted to keep her mouth shut. All in all, she looked like she was seriously considering the merit to Severus's words.
"That doesn't mean it couldn't be fun. But I suppose you're right. I imagine the ministry is still trying to show itself as pro-muggle to make up for our attack by a Death Eater in training," Lily remarked, referring to Avery and his lot, "These events are usually just attended by purebloods, right?"
"Yes, and it shall continue to be so," Severus said, dangling his invite over a trash bin, "I'll not be going."
Before Severus could dispose of the invite, a dove swooped in through one of the hallway windows. Swinging a wide circle in the air, it hooked back around and dropped a letter onto Severus's head. It then took up residence on a nearby windowsill, cleaning its feathers.
"Great, now what?" Severus asked, plucking the letter from atop his head.
"It's from Simone," Lily said, flipping the letter over to examine the seal.
Severus sighed, "I'm sure I know what she's writing about."
Opening the letter, Severus scanned the contents:
Severus,
I know you've probably already seen the invite to this year's gala. Slughorn 'might' have had some persuasion from me to get you and Evan's an invite.
You have probably also, no doubt, refused to come.
Therefore, I have taken a few measures to ensure your attendance.
By opening this letter, you're hereby magically bound to attend the gala.
You're dress robes and Lily's gown will arrive by the end of the week. No need to thank me; the pleasure was all mine.
Sincerely Yours,
Simone
P.S. opening a letter without checking it for curses or enchantments first? You're slipping, Severus.
Severus growled, crumpling the letter in his fists, "Nothing good ever comes from associating with her."
"What did it say?" Lily asked curiously.
Without a word, Severus thrust the wrinkled letter into Lily's hands.
Lily scanned the letter, "…oh…"
"She had no right," Severus ranted, pacing the floor, "Whether I attend or not, it should be my choice, not hers."
"There's something extra at the bottom here," Lily pointed out.
Severus leaned over Lily's shoulder to read it:
Severus,
I'm terribly sorry for Simone's enchantment. I tried to talk her out of it.
~Thea
"Well at least one of them feels bad about it," Severus grumbled.
"You have to hand it to Simone for one thing," Lily stated, "She's nothing if not determined when she sets her mind on something."
Severus stomped out onto the castle grounds, the wind whipping at his face, "If she thinks she can tell me what to do, she has another thing coming."
Lily hurried after him, pulling her cloak tighter around herself from the cold, "But what about the enchantment?"
"She can't get away with anything serious," Severus said dismissively, "At worst I'll be chased around by a boot kicking hex or have my face dyed polka dot for a week. Nothing I can't handle."
"Sev, just go to the gala with me," Lily pleaded, grabbing hold of Severus's arm to slow him down, "Simone took care of the dress robe problem and I'm sure it wasn't cheap."
"That was her decision," Severus grumbled moodily.
"But it was still a nice gesture," Lily argued, holding Severus by the hand, "Please, Sev? It would mean a lot to me. We haven't really hung out much lately. I miss our time together." She looked down at Severus's hand still in her grasp, stroking her thumbs across his knuckles, "Please?"
Severus relished the warmth of Lily's hand, the tickle of her fingers gliding along his clammy skin. Meeting Lily's eyes, he took in the pleading, hopeful gleam swimming in amongst the green of her irises.
"If I say yes, will you stop looking like someone just hexed your puppy?" he asked after a long moment of deliberation.
A smile split Lily's face, the relief evident. She threw her arms around Severus's neck with a whoop of joy.
"Thank you!" she gushed, "You won't regret it, Sev. I promise we'll have a fantastic time."
Severus said nothing, his brain doing a tailspin. Lily's messy, windswept hair blew up into Severus's face and tickled his nose. She was practically plastered to Severus, her breasts pressed up against his chest with a prominent weight.
Catching herself, Lily hastily pulled away and took a step back, red tinting her cheeks.
"So um…" Lily began, feigning casual, "Want to come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? We both still need to do our Christmas shopping, so…"
"Right," Severus said, clearing his throat, "We might as well go together. We could grab lunch…perhaps?"
Lily nodded, smiling, "That would be great."
Severus allowed a small smile to grace his face.
Lily shifted bashfully, looking around them, "I've got to get to class now. This actually isn't the way to mine," she noted, looking around the school grounds in embarrassment.
Severus laughed nervously, "Yeah…I've got Herbology so…" he jerked his thumb at the greenhouse in the distance.
Lily giggled, "So…I'll see you bright and early for Hogsmeade?"
Severus nodded eagerly, "Yeah, of course. We'll uh…see each other before then, you know? Study group?"
"Right," Lily laughed self-consciously, "Right…well see you tonight then, I guess."
With another awkward laugh, the two departed to their next classes, each one with only one question on their minds.
'Did that really just happen?'
Marlene is what I imagine a girl embracing her sexual autonomy would be like in the 70's. She's not ashamed to have had sexual relationships, seeing them as another aspect of building trust and intimacy with someone. It doesn't make her a whore or whatever other title someone might claim. She doesn't use anyone and lets others know what the state of their relationship is going to be before proceeding forward. She just acknowledges openly and proudly that she has needs just as men do, and that all women have them, and that it should be acceptable to experiment and explore to better know one's own wants and desires.
Marlene is also a giant troll to her friends.
So James may be seeing things through tunnel vision. He's got his eyes set so firmly on the prize, that he is blinded to the possibility of it going wrong. He is determined to believe Lily holds feelings for him, so when hearing she has feelings for someone , he is sure it must be him she speaks of, not even willing to entertain the thought that it could be someone else. He's all but unable to even consider Severus competition due to how strong a contrast he sees between them. They're night and day in his eyes, so if James sees himself as perfect for Lily, then Severus must surely be the exact opposite.
Read and review folks!