Anakin trekked through the brush behind his Master for hours with no words passing between them, though their bond was anything but silent. It wasn't so much words, and it rarely ever was to begin with. It was a general sense of unease mixed with turmoil and heartache that could be felt by both men. It was difficult to sense how much of it originated from either one of them at this point.
Typically Anakin would have been the source of such unrest, and Obi-wan the point of peace and tranquility. Though at the moment he could offer no such thing. Anakin didn't expect him to, though his presence was enough to help keep him centered as much as he could possibly be.
And being centered meant being on high alert, which wasn't so hard to do with circumstances being what they were. For the first few hours, Anakin was expecting his Master to be taken over by the Sith Lord at any given moment. Between keeping his attention out for any possible lurking monsters and keeping tabs on his Master, he had little time to let his focus stray.
Though as hours passed and they put more distance between themselves and the Sith temple without incident, Anakin began to believe his hopeful prediction had been correct. It seemed that the further they were away from the temple, the Sith's grip on his Master was beginning to lessen.
But Anakin didn't speak about it, or anything else. Because as he began to feel reassured and his level of panic began to lessen, his mind began to wander over other things. It was haunting how the dark one usurped his Master's form to hurt him, how Obi-wan's pure eyes could be turned to pools of wicked vile intent. Even more confusing was the things that the Sith had done to him. More specifically the things that had happened the night prior.
Although he wasn't sure how to feel about it, Anakin already knew. He had felt the transition from violence to tenderness. He had just never expected that from his Master. Anakin couldn't shake those images from his mind along with the memory of how Obi-wan had made him feel. As he thought of it he could still feel the tempest of clashing emotions in his chest. It had never really left.
It simply undulated, waxed and waned. Right now it was all he could feel. The roaring all consuming storm that filled his mind with things he could never ask. Anakin wasn't sure what was more painful- to continue to let all the unspoken questions fester, or to find the nerve to ask them?
For now he kept silent as they continued trekking onwards towards the ship. Obi-wan had glanced down at his datapad a handful of times. They were definitely headed in the right direction but the question as to whether or not their transport would still be there remained to be answered.
So they continued their journey even as the sun began to set overhead. Wary of the silence, Anakin finally spoke. "Can you see the ship transponder on the map readout yet?" He asked, feeling his voice creak from so many hours without talking.
Obi-wan pulled the data pad out and gave a heavy sigh. "No, not yet. Though it could just be a faulty sensor. There's no need to be thinking the worst."
"It's difficult to be optimistic in this place." Anakin replied grimly.
"I know." Obi-wan said in a quiet voice.
Anakin could both hear and feel the shame and burdensome guilt in his Master's aura. He didn't want him to feel that way, but he could understand it. It's not as if he could tell him to not feel those things. To try and ignore emotions didn't seem to work well for him so he wasn't about to tell his Master to do that.
So he would use distraction instead. "How's your shoulder feeling?" Anakin asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Obi-wan shrugged and flexed his arm, feeling it out and examining it. "Not so bad I suppose. Though the discoloration seems to be spreading." He added with dread.
"The healers will know what to do. They'll fix you up as good as new." Anakin answered back hopefully.
"Well it's like you said. It's difficult to think optimistically." Obi-wan answered back in something that sounded like his usual sarcasm shaded with defeat. Anakin could sense something inside the man, something heavy and overwhelming. A tumor growing and becoming unbearable.
Anakin wanted to take it all away from him. Obi-wan was practically perfect, he didn't need to feel that way. His Master had always been the pinnacle of stability and patience. He had been kind and understanding, more than anyone else in the Temple had ever been with him. He didn't deserve to be weighed down by darker things.
In a few lengthy paces Anakin caught up to his Master. Quickly Obi-wan turned around with a look of fearful irritation. "Anakin, you're supposed to be keeping a distance. It's not safe."
"Don't you think if anything was going to happen, it would have happened by now?" Anakin answered back with equal frustration.
"We can't afford to assume." Obi-wan retorted angirly.
Anakin clenched his jaw with irritation. Why did his Master always have to be so obstinate? Without giving so much as a second for him to move away, Anakin wrapped his arms around his Master tightly. He could feel Obi-wan's aura, the light that streamed out from the center of it. It was nothing at all like the darkness that emanated from the Sith Lord. It was true, pure and good even while under burden of guilt. It was a relief to his soul.
"You didn't hurt me, Obi-wan. It's not your fault." Anakin said, feeling a boulder removed from his chest as he spoke.
Though his Master seemed to absorb all the guilt that had fallen from his shoulders. Anakin could feel Obi-wan's aura swell with shame and panic. Not at all the reaction he had been hoping for.
"We can discuss this later when you're not in danger. This isn't the time." Obi-wan said bluntly yet hastily as he broke free from his Padawan's grip as gently as he could without shoving him away too harshly.
Anakin felt a knife tear at his heart as his Master spoke, as he physically pushed him away. "I'm sorry," Anakin said with a tremor in his voice as he pushed back against the tears. "I just don't want you to blame yourself. It's not your fault," Anakin cried out on the edge of a sob, surprised by the surge of emotion that pushed past his defenses.
"Oh Anakin," Obi-wan said softly as he pulled him into his arms. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice bated against tears. "I'm so, so sorry."
Anakin relished the feeling of his Master's embrace. It soothed his heartache, the tempest that crowded his chest with too much conflict. For once his mind felt still and calm.
"Let's just get off this world, and get back home." Anakin answered back with a sniffle.
"My thoughts exactly." Obi-wan responded, giving him one last squeeze before letting him go.
"Master?" Anakin started, suddenly worried as a thought entered his mind.
"Yes?" Obi-wan replied kindly, his gentle blue eyes filled with compassion.
"When we get back to the temple, what's going to happen? If the council knows what happened, about what the Sith did, they'll make me someone else's Padawan, won't they?" Anakin asked as his heart thudded against his ribs. They couldn't take him away from his Master, could they?
"I don't know." Obi-wan replied sadly yet honestly.
"We can't tell them. I can't lose you Master, you're all I have." Anakin begged, his heart raw and exposed as he lingered on the verge of another bout of tears. "Please promise you won't tell them. Please."
Obi-wan paused, another drift of guilt and contemplation stirring in his aura. Anakin could see the reluctance in his body language, worn upon his beautiful facial features. "I promise," he said warily, quickly changing the subject. "Now let's keep on going. We have quite a bit longer to go before we reach the transport."
His assurance was enough to keep Anakin's fear of abandonment at bay for the time being. "Is it safe to keep going in the dark?" Anakin asked, already knowing his Master's answer.
"It's our only option." Obi-wan said firmly. "However if we keep on at this pace, we should make it to the transport just after dawn."
"I like the sound of that," Anakin said, feeling a wave of relief wash over him at the thought. Putting as much distance as they could between themselves and the planet sounded like a prudent course of action.
"As do I." Obi-wan said with a hopeful voice. The tinge of optimism however slight it may have been made Anakin's heart feel assured.
The two of them kept on again, this time only a few paces apart rather than the distance they had been keeping before. Anakin was glad to be closer to his Master, in spite of their circumstances he didn't want to be too far away from Obi-wan. At this point he felt mostly assured that the Sith was gone for good, especially as they had put such a significant distance between themselves and the temple.
The sun had fallen far past the lush green horizon when Anakin felt a biting sense of fear pry at his chest. He thought he might have heard something in the distance. He had to stay objective, chances were it was all in his head. But then, a grating cackle filled the air, making his shoulders tight with nervous tension.
"Did you hear that?" Anakin asked, his eyes darting about the darkened landscape they traversed.
Obi-wan kept on walking as if he had said nothing. His Master didn't turn his head to look at him, or even nod or shake his head in answer. His feet kept on marching forwards methodically, mechanically.
Anakin reached his hand out towards the man to catch his attention, but was halted by the sound of whispers that rose up in the air, as if a breeze had picked up and rustled the leaves of the trees around them. Only the air was still as it had ever been, not a draft or slight drifting breeze to be felt.
Obi-wan turned to face him. Anakin's heart stopped as his insides turned to acid.
"No," Anakin lamented with a hollow core, as empty as his Master's eyes. Where jewel blue had once graced the mans face, were now empty holes, blackened sockets like the monster they had seen.
The beast smiled. "You thought you could get away?" He said in a pitiful tone, the voice even further from the sound of his Master's gentle cadence than it had been before. The whispering voices seemed to giggle and laugh, entertained by Anakin's fear.
He shook his head in horror as a chill ran down his spine. The face of his Master had become ashen, just like the flesh around his shoulder. Dark lines spread throughout his features contorting what was once light, into a twisted perversion of darkness. The moonlight he basked in seemed to make everything more insidious, inescapable.
Anakin might have said something, anything, but felt it all futile. He looked on at the man with begging eyes as sparse fearful tears spilled down his face, stinging the scratches on his cheek. The whispers evaporated, leaving an ominous silence in its wake.
"You have two lightsabers. I'm unarmed. Are you really so incapable of defending yourself?" The Sith chided as Anakin walked backwards into a tree, trapped once again by the sick monster. The smell of decaying flesh filling the air with its putrid stink.
"I can't." Anakin cried as his body tensed.
His Master came close, snarling into his ear. "When i'm done with you, you'll have learned your place, young one."
Anakin cringed against the contact, but then it vanished. Where the Sith had cornered him was only empty air. Anakin looked in the distance, seeing the silhouette of his Master a few paces away from where he stood.
Quickly Anakin righted himself, wiping his tears and brushing off his clothing as if it would help rid himself of the bone chilling terror this place inspired. He had to be strong for his Master. He was safe, safe enough anyways. What he had just seen wasn't real. It was just this place trying to get to him. He wasn't about to let it win.
"Anakin?" Obi-wan called after him, his voice heavy with unease.
"I'm fine Master, it's nothing." He replied, quickly taking pace by Obi-wan's side. He tried to hide the hint of apprehension in being close to the man this time. Before he had been positive his Master was out of the grip of that Sith. Now, he wasn't so sure. He wanted to be, but with that dreadful image still fresh in his mind, it was difficult to be so convinced.
….
"No," Anakin's voice rang out, small and scared. Obi-wan could hear the boy's footsteps stop as a shade of terror colored the edge of his aura in a sickening darkness. Obi-wan turned back to face his Padawan, seeing him recede back into the darkness of the forest.
Obi-wan didn't think he had ever seen the boy so degraded, reduced to nothing but a quivering thing at the whims of whatever monster he was being made to see. Though it didn't take Obi-wan much imagination to know what it most likely was. This place used your worst fears against you.
"I can't," Anakin cried out desperately, not even taking a saber in hand to defend himself. That confirmed the very thing Obi-wan's heart wrenched to know. The terror he was being made to see, was his own Master turn against him.
And sure, perhaps it wasn't truly him. But his hands were the ones that had hurt Anakin, his body the one that pressed in on him when he wanted him to stop. It would be his face that the boy would see when he thought of that trauma. Nothing Obi-wan could say or do would take away from that fact.
"Anakin," Obi-wan called out apprehensively, mindful to keep a polite distance.
"I'm fine Master, it's nothing." Anakin said as he regained his senses. In no time at all, Anakin took step by his Master's side as if nothing had happened. Obi-wan couldn't see his face as they kept on moving, and he couldn't see much at all by the dim light of the moon. But he could feel Anakin's hesitation, the fear to be close to him. It hurt Obi-wan to know there was nothing that could be done about it. There was nothing to be said, nothing to be made right. No matter how much he wished it were so.
Obi-wan's skin crawled with aversion to think about his body being used by Sith forces, against his own Padawan. What was Master Yoda thinking when he demanded Anakin go with him? It didn't have as much to do with Anakin not being ready as much as it had to do with the dangers of the place. Most of them being unknown of course, until they had arrived. Master Yoda would have had no way to know the horrors that awaited them. But Obi-wan couldn't help but hold a strand of anger against him for his mandate If only he hadn't insisted, then Anakin would never have been hurt.
Or was he more angry with himself for the pleasure he was forced to feel as he came to his senses? That awful moment he felt himself on the verge of forcing himself on his Padawan. How the boy had shuddered and cowered against him.
Obi-wan thought he should be stronger, should have been able to resist the machinations of the Sith demon that had been set against him. But instead he was a week puppet, waiting for the Darkness to take him over, to hurt Anakin again.
He didn't want to hurt him, he could barely stand to touch him, let alone look at him without feeling gut wrenching pain and grief. It was all made worse by the way he let himself unleash on Anakin inside the confines of that terrible vision. He should have never let himself go so far. Even within the mind, it weighed on him terribly when compounded by the horror of what had transpired that afternoon. It was wrong, it was all wrong.
Anakin was his student, someone to raise and teach and help support. He wasn't someone to be used and taken advantage of. He meant so much more than that. Everything that had happened to him, both in Obi-wan's mind and in actuality put an insurmountable distance between the two of them. And it was all Obi-wan's fault. Maybe if he hadn't let himself indulge in that flight of fantasy, perhaps then he would have better moral footing in all of this.
Or perhaps this was exactly what the Sith wanted, to tear them apart from the very base of their bond. If it was, Obi-wan had to admit it was working. Anakin was so vulnerable and needy to begin with. This was just adding a whole new dimension to his insecurities and fears. Obi-wan had never been completely sure he would be able to cure the lesser of the boy's problems. But this, he knew he couldn't fix.
The only way to even begin to try was to get off the planet for good. Obi-wan hated the thought of abandoning the mission, but didn't know what else to do. They truly had no other choice. There were too many unknown factors. The very nature of how the council even came to know about the planet needed to be better investigated if they were to unveil the larger threat at hand. It was all too possible that whoever had brought the existence of the planet to light, only meant for them to unleash a horde of Sith back into existence. Much of the other necessary information might have been willfully withheld. Of course that was all very much a stretch of the imagination, but somehow not too far fetched, either. They did live in dangerous times, the rise of the Jedi Order had been nearly uncontested for several hundreds of years.
It would make sense for the Chosen One to exist amidst a rising darkness. Why else would there be a call for balance? Obi-wan could only hope that Anakin hadn't been too traumatized by their experiences on the Sith world. Not that he could ever hope to even imagine what it was that the boy was going through. And then, there was the fact that it wasn't even over.
It would continue to linger, hover over him until they both reached the Jedi temple. Or at least until they made it off world. Maybe then Anakin would be able to put him in a pair of binders and keep him in some sort of makeshift brig. That way he would be able to mostly guarantee his safety until they reached Coruscant. After all, Anakin was more than capable to pilot both of them home safely.
Obi-wan pulled out the data pad and studied the read out again. As they trekked ever closer, the space where their ship ought to have been continued to read as empty. As much as he didn't want to give into it, dread washed over him in tumultuous waves. He knew it was as much a part of the Sith trap as anything else they had experienced in this place, but it did little to take the apprehension away from him.
"Are we almost there, Master?" Anakin asked, his quiet voice slicing through the dead air of the night.
"We are set to arrive just after dawn. So that sets us about six hours out." Obi-wan replied with tangible exhaustion that he tried not to give power to. The night couldn't be over soon enough.
Another silence fell over the two of them for a short while. Obi-wan could feel the air between the two of them grow thick with unspoken words. Anakin was rife with conflict and turmoil as he ever had been. Of course he was. The boy relied on him far to much to begin with, without all the extra confusion to make everything worse.
Obi-wan wasn't feeling like such a pillar of strength himself, either. Between the sound of footsteps and their breath in the night air, all he could think about were things he would much rather have forgotten. He could recall all too well, the feel of Anakin's warm flesh under his hands as he gripped his naked body, as he thrust inside of him greedily. It was a moment of unforgivable passion and weakness, even if it had never actually happened. It made him want things he shouldn't have wanted. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to forget.
But he needed to. He would have to. Surely it was this place, making every weakness and niche in his defenses that much more vulnerable. Perhaps it was the decaying rot that had set in his shoulder, eroding his will to cling to the light. It had to have been some outside Sith influence, an artifact that was nearby. Something else outside of himself had to be the cause for the desire that grew without restraint. A desire that soon felt as if it were becoming a need.
Each ounce of lustful want was countered with an equal amount of shame and self loathing. He needed to be better than this, needed to be stronger. He couldn't be seriously struggling with such things. Every pang of need was met with a knife of regret and horror stabbing through his chest.
It might have been easier if Anakin hadn't been so beautiful, if he had been even a fraction less so. If he were any less needy, any less willful or stubborn, it might have been easier. But he was beautiful, even more so as he lay on his back void of anything to cover a single inch of his flawless porcelain skin. The glint of satisfaction in his sapphire eyes still sent a shiver down Obi-wan's spine as he thought of it.
But how could he think such things about his own Padawan? It had to be the Sith ground on which they tread, desperately fleeing to their transport which he could only hope was still a viable craft. At the very least perhaps they could send a message off world. Even if the transport were mangled, Anakin was more than capable of rigging a com to transmit well enough.
But they were hours away still, and the lecherous want slowly became a burning need, a desire to have Anakin the way he had in his vision. To have him in all ways that he should never have even been capable of thinking of. But as he placed one foot in front of the other, it seemed to be all he could think of.
In a desperate attempt to stave off his sinful thoughts, Obi-wan tried to open himself up to the light as much as he could, as much as it would reach him in such a cursed place as this. As soon as he did, a searing pain lanced through his shoulder sending bolts of lightning down his arm and throughout his chest.
Unable to quell his reaction, Obi-wan stopped dead in his tracks as he let out a shout of pain while he gripped at his wounded shoulder. The shock of it nearly sent him tumbling to his knees, but he was able to keep himself upright.
"Master!" Anakin shouted in distress as he rushed in close, putting a warm hand on his shoulder.
Quickly Obi-wan shrugged away from the contact. It wasn't safe. Not only was there the Sith presence to be concerned of, but now his own cognisant wants were ones to be contended with. Obi-wan wasn't sure how much contact he could endure from the boy without becoming overly consumed by his desires. It was a shameful state to be in, but that didn't keep him from being aware of the dire reality of the situation. He couldn't trust himself.
"I'm fine, it's nothing, I promise." Obi-wan said through clenched teeth as the wound continued to throb and ache.
"Master, you're not fine. Let me help you," Anakin begged, putting more hands on him, trying to get Obi-wan to let him look at his shoulder. Roughly, Anakin tried to pull the upper layers of his tunics off to get to the site of the wound.
A flash of images burst through his mind, all the things Obi-wan wanted so badly. All of his desires made more fervid by Anakin's hands pulling on his outer garments. Oh how badly he wanted to tear through the boy's clothes and have him all to himself. It made him sick just to think about how close he was to giving in. He couldn't, it wasn't right. It was all wrong. How could he be pushed to the brink so easily? He needed to be better. Anakin deserved better.
After a brief pause, Obi-wan tore out of Anakin's grip. "Get your hands off of me," Obi-wan spat out coarsely, fighting the lewd thoughts and images that he seemed to have less and less control over as the moment drug on.
Anakin took a step back, slightly taken by surprise at his Master's gruff demeanor with him. "Alright, fine," Anakin said back, taking offense.
"I'm sorry," Obi-wan said, immediately relenting. "It's just not safe to be getting so close."
"It's fine, I understand Master." Anakin answered quietly as they resumed trekking towards their destination.
But he didn't understand. How could he? There was no way he could even begin to know the well of untapped desire that grew inside of him. Not even Obi-wan himself wanted to acknowledge it. All he could hope was that it would get better with time, and distance from the wretched planet. It had to have been the the Sith getting to him. He would never struggle with such things without being affected detrimentally by that monsters venom, compounded by the ancient Sith artifacts scattered throughout the land. But the cause of his horrid desires didn't change the reality of them in the moment.
But then, in the midst of his internal struggle, Anakin put a hand on Obi-wan's shoulder, pulling back for him to stop. Obi-wan turned to face him with anger equal to the passion that filled his veins.
Obi-wan wanted to tell him to keep his hands to himself, to keep walking and keep quiet, but he was stopped before he could even say a word. There was a look of deft yearning in Anakin's eyes, a sparkle of daring charisma. It was everything that fueled the burning desire in Obi-wan, and nothing he had expected.
Obi-wan looked at him with a confused and terrified stare. Anakin returned with a sly chuckle. "Don't you know how to take what you want, already?" The young man said daringly, his eyes narrowing with his words.
Obi-wan felt paralyzed as much by his own treacherous chemical drives as he was by Anakin's sudden change of demeanor. Anakin smiled devilishly, biting at his lower lip slightly before he continued. "I know you want to fuck me like you did the other night. What's stopping you?"
"What are you talking about?" Obi-wan asked quietly, fearfully.
Anakin put hands on his shoulders, trailing down to his hips. "You know what i'm talking about," the boy accused as his eyes wandered over his Master's form.
"It… It wasn't real, it was a vision," Obi-wan said in a panic, his words shaded with desperate trepidation. But his body was on fire, waiting for the last of his will to break. Waiting for the delicious moment he would tear the clothes off of him, taste every inch of his skin, feel every part of him.
Obi-wan closed his eyes and shook his head, as if to dislodge the shameful thoughts from taking root. Blinking back open he saw Anakin standing before him, his hands no longer gripping his hips with want. On his face was a look of apprehension, confusion, shame. It was the Sith playing their tricks, again. Obi-wan had long since tired of their devilish illusions, prying into the worst parts of his mind.
"What are you talking about Master?" Anakin asked, bewildered.
Obi-wan blanched. "Nothing… It's nothing," he chanted, afraid to ask the question that haunted his mind.
It wasn't real. We never, I never…