Glad to be back people!
So I'm thrilled with how last chapter went over with you all. You know, I am actually very intrigued by the varying reactions to Hagrid I received on this site and others I post on. People seemed to be split right down the middle on whether Hagrid was in or out of character. Many of you thought he was the canon level of accurate, that his kindness and acceptance of Severus was believable of someone who could find friendship even with giant spiders. Others of you found it out of character for him, mostly due to comments he makes in the books disparaging Slytherins like Draco and even showing his own level of prejudice towards other magical creatures, particularly goblins.
You all brought up extremely valid points on both sides, so there is no right or wrong here. Hagrid did have some judgmental, biased moments in canon, while simultaneously being able to find the good in those many believed too dangerous to befriend, like Fluffy and Aragog. I personally think this is a combined result of some inconsistencies in Rowlings writing of the character (constantly contradicting her gentle giant concept), and the fact that Hagrid might be more suspicious and judgmental of people rather than animals because it is people who have judged him unfairly. When you think about it, he has met far more narrow minded people in the wizard world than in the animal world. People characterize him as savage or uncivilized because of his giant heritage, making him misunderstood, something he feels he relates to magical animals. To him, something that appears dangerous is just as likely to be a gentle creature as a person who appears well meaning and kind can be mean spirited and deceitful (cough*Tom Riddle* cough).
As for his goblin opinion, yeah I've got nothing for that. It's pretty hypocritical of him to write them all off as nasty creatures when he knows what it is like to be generalized by the public for being half giant. Dick move, Hagrid. It's a point that actually inspired my pro-Goblin stance for Simone originally. In many conversations with a friend of mine iheartmwpp, I often mentioned how it seemed counter productive to Hogwarts supposed unity stance to have people like Binns teaching anti-goblin history lessons and even having Hagrid be racist against them. To be honest, I found Hagrid's opinion far more troublesome, because he was literally Harry's gateway to the world of magic and his first introduction included being influenced by Hagrid's biased opinion of a magical race. That's bad teaching right there.
Anyway, one with the next chapter!
If Someone Cared Enough
Chapter Fifty-One: On the Night (Day) Before Christmas
Lily basked in the warm morning sunlight peering through the window, a contented sigh leaving her lips. The morning always felt different on Christmas Eve, more sentimental somehow, enchanting even. The holiday season in general was coated in a hearty dose of cozy nostalgia, but right before Christmas, it became a blanket of warm memories and contentment, wrapped in a peppermint and pine scent. It invoked feelings of happiness and safety from childhood Christmases spent cuddled with her father by the fire, his deep baritone reciting the 'Night Before Christmas'. Truly, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were like no other mornings.
A nonsensical sleepy murmur besides her reminded Lily of another reason this morning was not like others.
Lily rolled onto her side and watched Severus sleep, a fond smile gracing her face. Gently, she traced her finger across his brow, careful not to wake him up.
They'd kissed! She couldn't wait to see how Severus reacted when he woke up.
Smile broadening, Lily studied Severus as he slept.
Severus certainly looked different in his sleep. His face slackened in relaxation, he looked much younger than his sixteen years of age, his brow no longer pinched or his lips pursed in disapproval. During the day Severus oftentimes brandished a stern and humorless expression that would make any schoolteacher proud. It came from years of schooling his face into something neutral and expressionless. This of course was a natural defense he learned from years of being picked on by those who behaved worse if they saw the slightest hint of emotion. Potter was the most guilty of this; he tended to double down on his harassment if he got even the smallest sign that it bothered Severus.
Severus has improved some over the past semester, learning to let his guard down a bit for the small circle of people he had come to trust. A smile here or there, a quiet laugh, made him much more approachable to others and had down wonders for Severus social life. Lily was almost a bit envious of how often their friends flocked to him with invites to peruse the library or walk around the lake.
He was by no means mister rainbows and sunshine, of course; Severus still tended to maintain a prickly outer shell for most of his peers. Only Lily saw him truly at ease, whether it be when he sat shoulder to shoulder with her reading or times like these when he slept. Lily cherished those moments and kept them to herself covetously like a dragon hoarding gold, unwilling to share this side of Severus with the world. Her friends could have 'witty, cheeky, everyone's-friend' Severus; Lily would keep 'Sev, her one and only' to herself.
Lifting Severus arm with the barest of touches, Lily wiggled under it and sidled right up next to him, her head against his chest.
Murmuring in his sleep, Severus unconsciously wrapped his arms around Lily, drawing her in closer and burying his face into her hair. He shifted slightly, entwining this legs together and squeezing Lily tightly as one would a teddy bear.
Lily felt her face go warm. She didn't often wake up before Severus, so she had no idea he was such a cuddly sleeper. Lily found herself plastered against him, the warm of his body seeping in through her nightshirt. Severus's unique scent clung to him, an aroma of spice mixed with the subtle hint of ink, faint under the scent of musk and sweat. Rubbing her nose against Severus's collarbone, Lily ignored how mortified she should feel at finding that palpable concoction intoxicating.
Splaying her fingers against the expanse of Severus woolen nightshirt, Lily marveled at the firmness of his chest, the pronouncement of his muscles. She knew Severus had a slight physique despite his lack of athletics, but being so close to him now it dawn on Lily just how in shape he actually was. It didn't help that he tended to dress in layers, and loose fitting clothes, a habit picked up from years of masking his neglect and malnutrition from prying eyes. While of decent height, Severus always gave the impression that he was hopelessly gangly under his shirts and robes, his spider-like manner of skittering around unseen and his surprisingly slender wrists making many assume him mostly skin and bones.
But this, Lily thought as she smoothed her hands over his chest and down his arms, this was a nice surprise. Severus lacked the thick, corded muscles of the dedicated Quidditch player, but there was a hidden strength in his body, something wound up tightly just beneath the skin. A practiced restraint gave Severus that fragile, delicate appearance, Lily realized; the true Severus Snape hiding a controlled and precise power only few had the privilege to see.
Lily squeezed Severus biceps, a girlish giddiness rising up inside her at the fortunate opportunity to explore in a way Severus probably allow in his waking hours. She reveled in the delightedly firm heat emanating from Severus body, the secure yet tender feel of him wrapped around her smaller frame.
Severus sighed in his sleep, one of his legs slipping between Lily's as he snuggled closer. He shifted slightly forward, hips slotting into a more comfortable position and Lily was suddenly very aware of a certain part of Severus's anatomy.
Lily blushed; as close as she was to Severus, as much as her feelings for him had grown on the romantic side, she sometimes forgot he had one of those. Ironic really, considering Severus's very bodily reaction to her that night by the library was the very catalyst to her investigation into whether she felt anything beyond friendship for him.
Lily had tried to separate herself from the awareness of that part of men after Avery attacked her. It had been a weapon the brute sought to use against her and so Lily distance herself from the concept of the male anatomy. It was mostly a means of coping with trauma and helping her still maintain friendships with those of the opposite sex. She sought to draw a fine line between people like Severus and Remus and the likes of Avery. To a degree she had stopped seeing them as boys, seeking to leave no difference between them and her female friends whom she felt unthreatened by the anatomy of.
Therefore, the occasional reminder of Severus's sex could oftentimes catch Lily by surprise. Yet, it wasn't an unpleasant one like she once imagined it might be.
Perplexed by her own rationale, Lily couldn't figure out for the life of her why she didn't feel threatened or uneasy with Severus's arousal. In fact, for some indiscernible reason, she felt the tiniest bit of flattery rise up in her, preening at how she drew out such responses from him. This mystified her in ways she couldn't fathom.
Seeing as it was so early in the morning, however, Lily wasn't going to waste time fretting on the why and how of it.
Feeling a rush of boldness overtake her, Lily shuffled closer, allowing where her leg met hip to rub against Severus's hardness.
The result was near instantaneous; Severus mumbled something that could have been a moan, his hips rocking back and forth just a little before going still again.
Lily bit back a giggle, a heady dizziness sweeping over her. It felt like a flock of Cornish Pixies was running rampant in her stomach. Tucking closer to Severus, nuzzled his neck fondly, a swelling of pride and joy residing deep within her.
Things would surely change between them now; a kiss was no small thing. Lily could only wonder what the future held for them. Her mind filled with thoughts of handholding, walks through the park at sunset, whispered sweet words in private. She pictured going to the movies together or having a picnic lunch by the seaside, a book in her hand and Severus's head resting in her lap as they listened to the calming sound of the lapping waves in the ocean.
So many possibilities of where this could go and Lily was excited to see just where life would take them.
{page break}
Lily stepped out of Severus's room quietly, carefully shutting the door closed behind her. After about an hour of lazing about cuddling, Lily knew it was time for her to get to her own room before her parents came to wake them both up. Last thing she needed was to explain why she was in a sixteen year old boy's bed.
Severus hadn't woken even the slightest when Lily slid out of bed. Normally Severus was an early riser, up before his alarm and getting ready for the day. It might have been just common practice for him at this point; Severus told her that he had learned to wake up before his parents in order to be out of the house before his father awoke. When he came to Hogwarts, that practice proved practical; the boys in his dorm were nasty folk even when he still associated with them so it was better to be gone before they got up in the morning. Therefore, Severus never really stayed asleep past sunrise, nor did he sleep heavy; it just wasn't wise around those up to no good.
For some reason though, he was now sleeping like the dead, a look of complete peace and restfulness upon his face as he snuggled deeper into the covers, clinging tightly to the pillow Lily had put in his arms in place of herself. He looked so at ease and happy, completely trusting of his surroundings and allowing himself some vulnerability.
Lily grinned, leaning back against Severus door; she'd like to think it was her who put that smile on his sleeping face.
"Lily?" a voice intruded, startling Lily.
Willow stood at the top of the stairs, having come up from the kitchen, presumably to wake the rest of the family.
"What are you doing up?" Willow questioned.
"I was…just coming to see if Severus was up," Lily lied, realizing her hand was still on the knob to Severus's door, "I've been awake a while and I got bored of waiting around for him."
Willow nodded, not seeming to find anything suspicious in that statement, "Yes…I suppose it would be best to wake him up…I was just coming to fetch you all." There was something off about her voice, something sad, lost.
"Mum?" Lily prompted, taking a closer look at her mother. Normally up later than her husband, Willow was fully dressed this morning, though it didn't appear much effort was put into her appearance. Her hair was half brushed and her blouse tucked in only on one side, her socks not matching. There were bags under her eyes and an overall haunted expression encompassed her face.
"Mum, are you alright?" Lily tried again, "What's wrong."
Willow shook her head, "It's nothing…I mean it is, I just," she shook her head again, looking at Lily sadly, "Could you wake up Severus and tell him that your father and I need to speak with him? It's rather important."
"O…kay," Lily said hesitantly, "Is everything alright?"
"Just…I'll see you downstairs in a minute," Willow quickly turned around and headed back down the stairs.
Perplexed, Lily reentered Severus's room and went over to wake him. Placing a hand on Severus's shoulder, Lily gently shook him.
"Sev," she whispered, "It's time to wake up."
Severus groaned softly, managing to open his eyes a crack to blearily look up at Lily. When he saw who it was, a small smile spread across his face.
"Hi," he said a tad dreamily.
Lily smiled tenderly back, "Hi," she greeted, "Mum wants us downstairs for breakfast. She said there's something she needs to talk about."
Severus's eyes widen, "She didn't find you in here, did she?" he asked in alarm, scrambling up into a sitting position.
"No," Lily assured him, "I was already out of here when she came up to wake me. I think it's something else…she looked sad more than upset."
"Well that's good," Severus mumbled, swinging his legs off the bed, "Not that your mom is sad, I mean, I just meant I'm glad she didn't find us," Severus chuckled nervously, "I doubt I'd be allowed to stay here anymore if she found you in my bed."
Lily rolled her eyes, "My parents wouldn't kick you out, Sev. Put a lock on both our doors, maybe, but never kick you out."
"Both our doors," Severus repeated, "Are you saying that they'd have to worry about you trying to sneak around to see me as well?"
Lily leaned down, giving Severus a quick peck on the lips, "What do you think?"
She went to pull away only to have Severus draw her back in for another kiss, this one softer, lingering tenderly. It sent a fluttering through Lily's chest and made her stomach flip.
Pulling away, Severus stroked his thumb against Lily's cheek.
"So this is new," he said after a moment's pause.
"Indeed it is," Lily agreed, "Can't say I dislike where things are headed."
"And just where are things headed?" Severus asked teasingly.
Lily kissed him on the nose, "How about we figure that out after we see what mum and dad want, hm?"
Severus sat back with a sigh, "I suppose it would be best to get down there before they come looking for us."
Grabbing his robe off the hook on the back of the door, Severus slide on his slippers and padded downstairs to the breakfast table, Lily in tow.
It was oddly silent when the two of them got there. Normally there would be lively chatter and the clinking of cutlery on plates as the family tucked into a deliciously crafted breakfast.
This morning however, everyone was uncharacteristically reserved. There was no idle chit-chat, no rustling of the morning paper or forks tapping upon plates of eggs and hash. Instead, a modest stack of dried toast sat in the middle of the table with a half-empty jar of jam besides it. Hank sat at the table sans newspaper, lightly drumming his fingers on the table in discomfort. Petunia looked at the tablecloth, an awkward mix between sadness and confliction on her face as she slowly stirred her tea.
Willow sat at the head of the table staring blankly into space, a cup of tea that had long grown cold clasped between her hands.
"Uh…what's going on?" Lily asked nervously.
"Oh," Snapping out of her stupor, Willow beckon the pair into a set of chairs opposite her at the table, "Sit down you two; there's something we need to tell you."
Hank looked to his eldest daughter, noticing her discomfort, "You may be excused if you like, dear."
"No," Willow cut him off firmly, "We're a family; we deal with this together."
Severus and Lily exchanged worried looks.
"Are we in trouble?" Severus ventured carefully.
"Yeah, did we do something wrong?" Lily asked.
Willow shook her head, "No, nothing like that, dear. It's just…well…something happened last night and it's important you know about it…rather than read about it in the paper tomorrow."
"The paper?" Severus questioned, "about last night?"
"Early this morning technically," Hank said. He took his wife's hand in his own, taking over the story for her, "You see, Severus, we received a call from the police…"
Severus held his breath, a million scenarios running through his head. Was he being accused of something? He hadn't been anywhere particularly questionable recently. Did something happen to his mother?
A wave of panic washed over Severus; please let his mother be okay.
Hank sat silent for a long time, unsure how to proceed.
"I don't know how to tell you this, Severus," he began, "But…well, your father passed away in prison sometime last night."
Severus stared blankly at Hank, trying to process things.
"What?" Lily gasped, "How?"
"It has yet to be determined," Willow explained, "Apparently a guard went to do a final check of that wing and found he had," she glanced at Severus before continuing delicately, "Passed on. There's no sign of foul play, but so far they haven't a clue what happened."
Severus nodded mutely, still taking it in.
"Severus," Hank prodded, looking at the stoic young man in concern, "Are you alright, son?"
"Sev?" Lily asked when the boy didn't respond. Worriedly, she wrapped an arm around him, brushing some hair away from his face.
Willow reached across the table and grabbed Severus hand, "I know things were never right with your father, but he was still your parent. It's completely understandable if you feel upset, Severus."
Severus shrugged, "I don't really feel much of anything, really," he admitted, "The man had never been a father to me, let alone a decent person. I guess I'm relieved, if anything? I mean, sure it's a shame he died alone in hail, but I had always known they couldn't keep him locked up forever…and to be honest, I dreaded my mother doing something foolish like taking him back. So…I guess it's all for the best…"
He looked around the table, unsure, "Is that bad? That I don't really care?"
"Of course not, sweetie," Willow assured, giving Severus's hand a comforting squeeze, "You've been through so much because of him; there's nothing wrong with having mixed feelings over this."
"You aren't obligated to mourn someone, Severus," Hank said kindly, "Especially someone who doesn't deserve it. Don't think you need to work up a tear for a man who treated you so poorly."
"Good riddance, I say," Petunia muttered, "The world's a little bit better without him."
"Petunia," Willow admonished.
"Mom, that man almost killed him," Petunia said hotly, pointing at Severus, "You can almost still see the hand marks around his neck! Did we really want a dangerous man like that back on the streets someday?"
Lily didn't say anything but she had a good feeling her sister was right.
"It's never nice to speak ill of the dead, Petunia," her mother argued pointedly.
"Even when they deserved it?" Petunia challenged. She sniffed disdainfully, "That man was a low life, good for nothing; a drunk and a thug. Spinner's End was chalk full of bad eggs like him. I hardly see why he should get any pity in the afterlife."
"Still…" Willow weakly tried to dispute. She turned her attention back to Severus, "Are you sure you're okay, honey?"
Severus nodded slowly, "Honestly I'm just glad I'll never see him again. Would have been fine with him spending life behind bars, but if they can't make that happen, this is probably best all things considered. I'm just…not sure how to feel."
"Of course it is," Willow agreed, getting up to come and give him a hug, "The news is still fresh. Just sit on it a while and see how you feel then. No one is pressuring you to do anything one way or the other."
"Here," she continued, piling some toast onto his plate, "You should eat something."
Severus toyed with the end of one of his toast slices thoughtfully, "I need to see my mother," he said finally, "I'm not sure how she's going to take the news…they didn't get along, but she never seemed to hate him enough to leave. This might…upset her."
"Eat some breakfast first," Willow urged in a motherly tone, "Then we'll drive you over to see your mother."
"If it's all the same to you, Mrs. Evans," Severus said politely, "I'd rather walk; it'll give me some time to think."
"I'll go with you," Lily said quickly.
"You really don't need to, Lily," Severus rebutted, "It's not the best neighbor for you to be in."
Lily fixed Severus with a hard stare, "Sev, I'm going," she said firmly, "You shouldn't be alone right now."
Severus sighed, knowing there would be no talking her out of this and too tired to even try, "Fine."
Lily entwined her hand with Severus's under the table, giving it a little squeeze.
{page break}
The walk to Spinner's End was a silent one, the only sound the crunching of snow beneath Lily and Severus's boots as the trudged down the sidewalk.
Whisperingly dubbed the 'bad side of town', Spinner's End was normally quiet in the mornings, most of its residents blacked out from drinking their unemployment money away the night before, lacking jobs to go to in the morning like regular folk. Those who weren't passed out made little noise either, typically battered housewives and children and the occasional beaten husband tip toeing around their abodes in a desperate effort to not awake the drunken dragons of their homes and getting another batch of bruises.
It was an experience Severus knew all too well; many summers he and his mother crept around the house like mice, scurrying past Tobias's prone and drooling form on the sofa. Sometimes Tobias didn't make it as far as the couch; sometimes he would barely get inside the house before he collapsed, blocking the front door. Times like those were the hardest for Severus, as he normally liked to sneak out long before Tobias sobered up.
With the front door blocked by the bastard's dead weight and the back door notorious for a loud and unbearable squeaky hinge, Severus would have to resort to difference methods of escape. He still bore a scar on the inside of his elbow from the time he fell from the old, rotten trellis resting against the house beneath his window.
Lily tried to eye Severus from her peripheral, not wanting to be caught sneaking glances at him. He'd been so quiet since they departed from home, having barely said a word to her once they set off. Lily knew Severus was a private person who tended to prefer keeping matters to himself, but she really wished Severus would open up to her. It couldn't be easy to lose a parent, much less one you had so much unfinished business with.
Lily knew Severus probably told himself he'd wiped his hands clean of his father long ago, but it wouldn't be surprising if he felt a little…cheated by Tobias's sudden death. He never got to confront the man, to throw all Tobias's wrongdoings at his feet and demand an apology, or at least see some regret in that man's eyes. Severus tried to act as if he had nothing left to say to his father, but Lily knew the truth; he wanted answers. He wanted to know why? Why him, why his mother? Severus wanted to know what sort of darkness could lurk in a man's heart to make him take all his anger out on the two people who should have been able to trust him most. So many questions that Severus wanted to ask of the man who made his life hell and now he'd never get the chance. In Severus eyes, he must have seen death as Tobias getting off easy for what should have been a life sentence for his crimes.
Eileen hadn't treated Severus much better, but at least Severus could see her rationale. It was a jealous, a projection, the need to lord over someone else in order to feel less powerless and afraid of the abuse inflicted on her by her husband. Tobias however, what was his reasoning? Could it really be so simple an answer as he was just a terrible person?
Lily glanced at Severus again before dropping her gaze to the boy's hand hanging limply at his side. She wanted to hold his hand, but wasn't sure if now was the right time. What did all this mean for them? Would Severus still want to pursue something with her, or was it too soon to ask? As a possible girlfriend Lily figured she should hold his hand to let him know he wasn't alone, but for all she knew that was too presumptuous.
Then again, if she didn't hold his hand, and he wanted her to, would Severus take that as a sign that Lily had changed her mind? Even as just friends they often held hands in times of stress or upset, but whenever things got well and truly bad, Sever tended to shy away from sympathy, thinking it an implication that he was weak. Regardless, Severus was facing some very big changes in his life now that the very first tormentor of his childhood had passed away. His greatest concerns were for his mother, who for whatever reason seemed to love that man she called husband.
Severus didn't need to be burdened with trivial teenage feelings while facing something so serious as his father's death. Lily cringed inwardly; it probably made her very selfish to be worrying about their relationship when Severus had bigger things to worry about.
Lily was so caught up in her own dizzying thoughts that she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt someone take her by the hand. Looking to her side, she was surprised to see Severus lacing his fingers with hers.
"Thank you for coming with me," he said quietly, not turning to look at her. Instead, he kept his eyes straight ahead, focused on the familiar house looming at the very end of the street, "I know I made a fuss about you coming along, but it is probably for the best that you're with me. I'm not…great at dealing with my mother. Might be nice to have someone more careful with their words there to keep me from making things worse. You tend to make me…feel a little better when I'm stressed."
They were such bumbling words and poorly crafted gratitude that from anyone else it would have offended Lily. Here she was traipsing around an unsavory part of town walking into god knows what sort of drama and the thanks she got was that she may be useful to have around? If Potter had said it she probably would have taken offense, maybe even stormed off.
It was different with Severus, however. Years of being in the aloof and distant boy's presence had trained Lily to read between the lines. Rarely a man capable of stating exactly how he felt, Severus usually kept his words vague, choosing to let others interpret, as they will. When he said Lily's presence could help with his mother, he meant was glad she hadn't let him face this alone. A noncommittal suggestion of her usefulness was Sev's way of saying he needed her and couldn't have done this by himself and that meant the world to Lily.
Funny, when Severus was evasive and careful with his wording Lily could pick the meaning out in a heartbeat, but when he tried to outright say what was on his mind, they always tended to have a misunderstanding. Maybe half their fights at school could have been avoided if Severus had stuck to being less direct. How odd.
Lily stepped closer to Severus, the pair shoulder to shoulder as they walked, "You've never let me face anything alone, Sev, even when I insisted I could handle myself. Why would I abandon you when you need me?"
Severus shrugged, "I'm just not used to having backup when it comes to my family. It's a strange feeling."
Lily smiled sadly, "You don't have to worry about that ever again."
The corner of Severus's mouth twitched into a slight, if not somber, smile, but whatever he wanted to say next was lost as his attention became captured by something up ahead of them.
"The rats are stirring," he whispered cryptically, sliding his hand out of Lily's grip to draw her in closer by the waist instead, "Keep your wits about you."
A man stumbling home from possible a drunken bender in the park passed them on the sidewalk, his foot catching on the curb and nearly sending him nose first to the payment. He looked at them as he righted himself, squinting blearily at them.
"You're not Ralphie," he muttered to himself. He stumbled away, asking aloud, "Where the hell's that bugger gone off to now?"
A door a few houses down opened up to reveal the face of a skinny, bulging eyed old woman. She peered at them through the crack in her door before snaking a hand out to grab her morning paper. The door closed again and the sound of multiple locks sliding into place could be heard.
Another door swung open with a bang nearby as a harried woman emerged. She carried in her arms hastily packed bags and even a rubbish bag haphazardly filled with clothes, resting atop her pregnant stomach. A small girl with mismatched shoes clung to her free hand.
"We aren't coming back this time," the woman declared angrily over her shoulder, "Mark my words, this is the last time you'll see us."
"You always say that, you stupid bint," came a slurred voice from within the house, "But I'll see you come crawling back this time tomorrow!"
Lily opened her mouth to say something as the woman passed, but Severus tugged her away.
"Won't do you any good," he explained softly and with a hint of bitterness to his tone, "She never listens to anyone; she'll be back tomorrow and anything you said to her about leaving for good will just be used to throw you under the bus so that her husband will be mad at someone else for a change. Trust me, I know."
Severus guided Lily by some benches, out of which a passed out man who reeked of ashtrays and beer bottles hiccupped and lurched up into a sitting position.
"Get out of my house!" he barked fiercely.
"That's public property, Arnold," Severus shot back crossly, an arm wrapped protectively around Lily as he led her away; "You're drunk. Go home!"
"Feh," the man spat, waving dismissively at Severus. He fell back onto the bench, rolling over to retch off the side.
"Lovely people," Severus said sarcastically.
Just as they were nearing the end of the street, passing one of the skinny outlets of the river, Lily jumped back with a yelp as a person sprung up like a jack in the box from a pile of rubbish besides the dumpster.
"Sev'rus!" said a sallow skinned woman with tangled, messy hair.
Severus tipped his head towards her politely, "Gwen."
Gwen smiled, her mouth an array of mismatched, yellow and browning teeth. The front top two were missing.
"Haven't seen you in ages," she said merrily, "Off to school again, I take it. Good on you lad; education is important." She dusted off her clothes, which Lily realized were made up of rags and torn blankets, shoes made of newspaper on her feet.
"Indeed," Severus agreed, his voice considerably kinder to Gwen than anyone else on the street. Were they friends? "You've been doing well, I take it?"
Gwen nodded, "Can't complain; still got my health, don't I?" She turned to Lily, noticing the girl for the first time, "And who's this vision of lovely? Why, she's pretty enough to me on money."
"This is Lily," Severus introduced, "I've been staying with her since summer."
"Nice to meet you," Lily greeted hesitantly.
Gwen studied Lily carefully, while Lily did the same. The woman couldn't have been much older than Lily and Severus, yet her skin was wrinkled and worn, her hands boney and thin like an old woman's. There were dark circles under her eyes and a cut across one cheek.
Satisfied with her inspection, Gwen grinned, "Staying with her, eh? Found yourself a keeper, did you, Sev'rus? I knew you would. Didn't I always tell you, there's someone out there for everybody? Didn't I?"
"You did," Severus replied kindly.
"You haven't perused my wares in a while," Gwen said suddenly, ducking back towards the dumpster. She shuffled around under a lean-to complied of blankets, sticks, and cardboard boxes and Lily realized with mute shock that it was Gwen's home.
Gwen hobbled back over, a box tucked under one arm.
"Made some more hats," she declared proudly, presenting them with a pirate hat clumsily made out of tinfoil.
"Been weaving again too," Gwen added, lifting up what might have been a potholder woven together out of strips of fabric. She showed them a ring of soda tabs, "Bracelets too. You reckon you'll buy one?"
"Oh," Lily said awkwardly, glancing at the assortment of used trash crafts, "Well I don't really need anything at the moment…how about I just give you the money and—"
"We'll take two bracelets," Severus said, cutting Lily off. He pushed a small handful of coins into Gwen's hand.
"Bless you both," Gwen said in her best customer service voice, handing Severus the bracelets, "And a lovely day to you."
"Same to you, Gwen," Severus said as he and Lily walked away.
"Why didn't you just give her some money, Sev?" Lily asked curiously, "You didn't need to buy anything."
"It's probably hard for you to understand, Lily," Severus replied, "You've never been in her shoes. It's a hard life when you are literally scraping by."
Severus looked away, a sad smile on his face, "She makes things because she doesn't want to feel worthless. She wants to know she is earning her way, not living off other's pity. She still has her pride, Lily; I'm not going to insults her by giving her handouts."
Unable to take the lost, unhappy expression on Severus's face, Lily clung to his side, her face tucked against his neck as she hugged him.
Lily had come to think she had a decent understanding of Severus's life over the years. The abuse, the beatings, those didn't stay secret from Lily for long. Even Severus's clothes over the years were a good implication of how his family struggled. But there was more to it than that.
Looking around at the slums of Sev's neighborhood, there was a resilience, a stubborn insistence to make it on one's own or die trying. People at the end of their ropes still trying to maintain that they are human and deserving of respect, that bad or tough choices in life haven't stripped them of their right to basic dignity. People trying to prove that even if they still made bad choices, it was their right to make them.
It was what kept Severus fighting his battles in secret and made his mother tough out a marriage she should have walked away from years ago. It was what made a woman and her children return each week to the hovel she can barely afford despite the man living inside, because she can't afford anywhere else to go either. It's what drove a man to drink and sleep in the gutter because he's too ashamed to return home and face his family, but too proud to seek help for his addiction. Pride and dignity, often noble traits and yet also grievous flaws that could keep someone locked in an endless cycle of misery.
Looking around her at the struggling men and women of Spinner's End, Lily realized how little she actually knew of Severus's world at all.
Bit of a wake up call for Lily here, isn't it.
You all didn't honestly think it would be smooth sailing from here, did you? This isn't a Disney film, folks!
Not to belabor a point, but I would like to return to my author's note about people's thoughts on Hagrid. Basically I want to commend my readers for their maturity. I've seen plenty of stories where the comment section becomes a warzone of people disagreeing with the author and people coming to defend the author. It never made sense to me to get so offended by someone seeing things differently than the writer; if someone disagrees with how I portray things, that's their right. So I don't need others to come fight for me like I've seen commentors do in other writers' stories. There's these snide back and forths, calling people stupid for their opinion, demonizing those who don't agree with them or the author and frankly I am glad you guys are all so civil with each other. Every time someone has offered a difference of opinion here, they have met no hostility or judgement and I am so proud of all of you for being mature adult readers :)
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