Hello everyone!

So glad with how well the last chapter was received. I'm glad you all liked the glimpse into Severus's neighborhood and home life. The rough side of the tracks is a harsh reality for anyone living in relative comfort or security. It's oftentimes hard to remember that just because you have a fairly good life, others may not.

There's more surprises to come, folks!

If Someone Cared Enough

Chapter Fifty-Two: 89 Eldridge Grove

Severus home had never been what you would call a pretty house. It wasn't even the sort you could claim looked good in it's prime, Severus recalling from old family albums the new addition to Spinner's End being bought by his parents already great disrepair just from the mill pollution and vandals. After his father and then pregnant mother moved in, the house fell to further disarray, the landlord no longer sticking around to maintain it now that he had tenants to do the job. Clearly, the man was unaware that Tobias had never been a 'fix-it' sort of person, nor had the once wealthy Eileen known the first thing about maintaining a home.

It was hardly unusual to see the rubbish bins knocked over or bags of refuse stacked on top of the lid. Weeds were all that ever grew along the broken and splintered fence no one ever-bothered painting. Spider webs hung in every window, some inside, some outside, not that it really mattered, as there still seemed to be an abundance of flies around regardless. Truly, the house never had seen better days, as terrible times were all it had known since people built in such a rundown neighborhood.

Today however, something about the rundown, dilapidated house seemed off somehow. Severus stepped away from Lily, proceeding forward cautiously. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the place looked just a tad more neglected than usual.

"Sev?" Lily questioned from her spot on the sidewalk.

Severus looked around him curiously; just what had changed here?

He carefully opened the decaying fence and walked onto the property, taking in the sorry state of things. The dirt and cobwebs should be par for the course, same as always, and yet there was something Severus just could put his finger on.

"Mum?" he called hesitantly, "Mum, it's me."

There was no answer from inside the ramshackle little hovel. It was entirely possible his mother was sleeping.

"Mum?" Severus tried again, "Are you home?" Severus approached the door and rapped four times on it, "Mum?"

"Maybe she isn't home right now," Lily suggested helpfully.

Severus shook his head, "There's nowhere for her to go. She hasn't got a job, no friends in this town. She eats so little on her own that I doubt she's out for groceries."

Severus knocked again, still receiving no response. It was certainly worrisome. His mother never had a social life, nor had she ever found successful work in Cokeworth; what sort of job could a witch with no muggle related skills do for work? While there was some attempt at mathematical education in schools now, Eileen was a pureblood from a different generation, one that saw no need for everyday skills when you had servants to do it for you and no need to work at all.

She certainly wouldn't be shopping. Severus didn't want to say anything to Lily, but the truth of the matter was most of their food had never been store bought. With Tobias too drunk to function in daylight hours and Eileen too ashamed to show her once proud face in public, they had to resort to alternative ways of acquiring something to eat.

Aside from the potatoes and carrots Severus occasionally pilfered from a neighbor's garden in the dead of night, they usually took what others discarded. Much of their food was stale bread and hardened cheese taken from the rubbish heap at the bakery and grocer just after they closed for the day. The time they threw out day old wares was still hours away; Eileen would not be about and about for it now.

Severus frowned; despite having nowhere to be, Eileen was normally an early riser. Most days one could find her sitting at the kitchen table staring listlessly into space. So what could be keeping her now.

..Could she be that upset about Tobais's death that she'd actually…?

"Mum," Severus called more urgently, pounding on the door, "Mum, where are you?" He grabbed hold of the doorknob and twisted, but found it locked.

"Where are you?" he repeated in frustration. Releasing the doorknob, he balled his hands into fists only to pause, taking note of a rather unpleasant griminess. Lifting the hand he'd touch the knob with, Severus saw a large smear of soot and dirt on his palm, the blow over from the mill's chimney stacks. Looking down at the doorknob again, Severus could clearly see a fine layer of filth on it, the place were his hand had rested now slightly cleaner from rubbing off on him.

"There shouldn't be this much build up," Severus muttered to himself, wiping his hand off on his pants. Normally the dirt that caked on overnight would be rubbed away every day from regular use, be it Tobias coming and going as he pleased or Eileen making her shamefaced walk to the rubbish bin to throw away the trash; mortified to do such lowly chores. But now, the knob appeared to have gone weeks if not months without being turned.

Severus glanced around, realizing dawning on him. That's what was different! Severus examined the walkway; only his footprints marred the snow despite the white powder having sat there for days.

The trash bin was overflowing with snow on its lid, apparently having accumulated from multiple storms over the winter. Not once had it been lifted since to throw a bag inside.

"It doesn't make sense," Severus mumbled, peering in the windows of his former home.

"Sev, what is it?" Lily asked in concern, stepping into the yard.

"One minute," Severus said dismissively. Stepping up onto an old discarded chair Tobias threw out but never took to the dump, Severus cupped his hands around his face to better peer through the window.

The furniture was coated in a fine layer of dust, thicker than usual. There was no disturbance to the dusty coated, as if no one had sat on the furniture or walk across the floor in quite some time.

"She isn't here," Severus declared, stepping down from the broken chair.

Lily cocked her head to the side, confused, "So should we wait for her?"

"I mean she hasn't been here in ages, Lily," Severus explained, wringing his hands, "No one's been in that house for months by the look of it."

"So then where can she be?" Lily asked.

"You guess is as good as mine," Severus said. He shifted from one foot to the other, wrapping his arms around himself self-consciously, "There's nowhere for her to go. I doubt her family would take her back; they made it pretty clear she was disowned for good. She has no friends to stay with as far as I know, so this house was all she had."

He glanced at Lily, "You don't think something happened to her, do you?"

"I'm sure she's fine," Lily comforted, coming over to wrap her arms around Severus, "Maybe she met someone and is staying with them for the time being."

"Unlikely," Severus snorted, "My father may have soured my mother towards muggle men. And you don't find many wizards around here."

The pair stood in silence, mulling over the possibilities. It was a big town and Eileen was just one tiny woman. A light wind could blow her over; how could she survive alone in Cokeworth?

"Where could she be?" Severus worried.

The loud click of a heavy lock turning caught Severus attention. Looking over to his left, he and Lily watched as the door to the house next to them opened up and a gray head poked out inquisitively.

An old woman smiled at them from behind large framed glasses.

"I thought that voice sounded familiar," she said with a smile, "Severus how are you, dear?"

"Fine, Mrs. Millner," Severus replied cordially, "Been better, I suppose. And you?"

"Good, been good," Mrs. Millner said, stepping shakily out onto her stoop; she walked with a cane to hold her up, "Hip's been acting up again, but that's old age for you, isn't it?"

She carefully descended her steps, Severus meeting her halfway to help.

"Thank you, dear," she said kindly, taking Severus hand.

Severus observed the gauze wrapped around the boney hand in his grasp.

Mrs. Millner followed his gaze.

"Nothing to worry about," she told him, patting Severus hand, "That wound's old news; Abby's been in lock up for two weeks."

Mrs. Millner leaned over to peer around Severus to Lily.

"My daughter-in-law," she explained, "Got a bit of a temper."

Lily nodded, unsettled by how casual the old woman was about what was sure to be a bad injury on her to get the other woman locked away.

"They're not on the best of terms," Severus said to Lily over his shoulder, "Abby's not as sweet as Mrs. Millner."

"Oh you flatter me," Mrs. Millner said with a laugh, patting Severus's cheek, "You charming rogue."

Severus smiled awkwardly, never quite sure to what say to such compliments.

"Yes, well," Severus began, "Mrs. Millner, I was wondering if you could tell me what's going on? The house looks worse than before and my Mother's not here."

"Why there's a simple explanation for that, my dear," Mrs. Millner said simply. She tapped her cane against a pile of snow by the fence, shaking the powdery substance off a sign that advertised a real estate company, "No one lives here anymore."

"It's for sale?" Severus gaped.

Mrs. Millner nodded, "Eileen said you might stop by. Said she wanted me to give you this," the elderly woman rummaged around in her bathrobe a bit before pulling out a slip of paper.

"I'd best get inside," she said, handing the paper over to Severus. She patted his cheek again, "I'll catch my death out here in this cold. You take care, dearie—and nice to meet you, young lady."

"Um, you too," Lily said clumsily.

Mrs. Millner gave them a friendly wave before disappearing back into her house.

"What did she give you, Sev?" Lily asked after the old woman was gone.

"It looks like an address," Severus observed, showing Lily the paper, "89 Eldridge Grove."

"Do you think that is where your mother is?" Lily asked, leaning against Severus to get a better look at the address.

"Must be," Severus said, absentmindedly putting an arm around Lily's waist, "It's the only reason I can think of her leaving it for Mrs. Millner to give to me."

He tucked the paper into his pocket, bringing the arm at Lily's waist up to rest on her upper back, "Might as well check it out."

{page break}

It took about an hour of walking before Severus and Lily finally gave in and took a bus, their feet sore and aching. They managed to find a seat near the middle of the bus with not too many people nearby, at Severus insistence to not sit near others. This particular method of public transportation was one of the things Severus would always loath. It forced you to be in close proximity to strangers, many of which seemed oblivious to their invasion of your personal space as they crowded into the metal monstrosity. He tended to hate muggle trains for that reason too. Thankfully, very few people were on the bus at this time of day, most folk already at work and not intending to venture home until early evening.

The pair watched as the bus rolled by houses and shops, mills and steel houses looming in the distance as an ever present backdrop to their industrious town. As houses gave way to apartment complexes, it became apparent that their location was closer to the city than expected.

The bus rolled to a stop at the crossroads of Eldridge Grove and Willow Wood Drive, the corner marked by a street sign covered dead and withered ivy vines killed off by the cold. The two of them got off the bus and watched it roll away, a cloud of exhaust left in its wake.

Severus set off down Eldridge Grove, Lily following close behind. Counting off the numbers on the buildings, Severus took in the neighborhood. He noted the clothes hanging from wash lines fixed to from apartment porches, garden gnomes and lawn ornaments standing absurdly proud in random yards. The strong scent of marinara wafted from apartment's open windows, a woman on the porch of another apartment beating out a rug.

Finally reaching number 89, Severus stopped outside a chain link fence and took in the place.

"This must be it," Severus said aloud.

It was an old building, with faded brick and rotten shingles. An overgrown hydrangea bush sat in the front yard covered in snow and the shape of various flowerboxes and planters could be just barely made out. There was a bicycle sitting by the stairs and several toys littered the lawn, a snowman nearby sporting a button nose and bucket for a hat. The mailbox had a large butterfly painted on it.

Of the run down house itself, it looked like some effort had gone into fixing up the front porch, the paint fresher and newer, and several rockers sitting off to either side of the front door.

A light post stood in the yard just behind the fence, a sign dangling from it.

"Ms. Everdee's Home for Women," Lily read, examining the sign, "Sev…I think this is a women's shelter."

"Why would she be here," Severus wondered. He lifted the heavy metal lock chained to the fence's gate, letting it fall back with a clank, "How do you suppose we get in?"

Lily craned her neck to the side, looking up at the building. She pointed at the front window, "I think someone sees us."

An elderly woman with streaky white hair stared at them through narrow eyes from an armchair at the picture window. A frown settling on her face, she turned and seemed to call out to someone behind her, before turning back to the window.

When the front door open, a woman in her fifties stepped out onto the porch. She pulled a woolen shawl around her shoulders and stood by the railing with her arms crossed, watching Severus and Lily suspiciously.

"Can I help you, young lady?" she said distrustfully, addressing only Lily for some odd reason.

"Um, yes," Lily began uneasily, "We're looking for, Eileen Snape. We were told she was at this address."

The woman stared at them unblinkingly, sizing them up, "And the boy?"

"This is Severus," Lily explained, placing a hand on Severus arm, "It's his mother we're looking for."

"There are no Eileen Snapes in this house," the woman declared dismissively, "You've come to the wrong place." She turned to head back inside.

"Eileen Prince, then," Severus cut in hurriedly, "That's her maiden name. Are you sure no one's here by that name?"

The woman eyed Severus warily, her gaze trailing up and down.

"She mentioned she had a son," she said eventually, "I thought he was away at some school."

"I'm home for Christmas break," Severus stated, "Lily," he gestured to his companion, "Her parents have been my legal guardians since…since my parents were reprimanded by the authorities and my father incarcerated."

The woman didn't appear to have anything to say to that.

"Please," Severus said, hating to beg, "If Eileen Prince is here then I need to see her. My father just died in prison and I fear she isn't taking the news well."

The woman didn't respond right away, quietly observing the pair at her fence. Finally, she sighed.

"You may come in," she said begrudgingly, stepping off the porch to let them in. She unlocked the fence and opened the gate.

"But there better not be any trouble," she warned sternly.

Ushering them inside, she lead them to the sitting room while she locked up the door again.

"Thought we didn't let men in here, Addie," the old woman at the window griped.

"This one's still a boy, Gertrude," the woman who let them in called back, "Come with me; she's on the third floor." She ascended the stairs at a brisk pace, forcing Severus and Lily to jog to catch up.

"I'm Ms. Everdee," she introduced herself; "This is a home for young mothers and women leaving their homes for various…circumstances. I pride myself on keeping this place calm and safe for these women and their children, so I take any stress or trouble very seriously."

She side stepped a trio of giggling children between four and five as she reached the second floor landing.

"There will be no raised voices," she continued, plucking a vase from one of the children and sending them on their way, "That includes yelling, shouting, arguing, or just talking very loudly. Some of the women are sensitive to too much noise; be respectful of their wishes."

"Any door that is closed is closed for a reason," she went on, jogging up the stairs to the third floor. She stopped at an ajar door to give a kind wave and sympathetic smile to a young, frail looking woman rocking a squirming infant, "Please knock and do not enter unless permitted to. I ask that you do not ask any unnecessary or prying questions of our residents; it is not your business nor should it be."

Reaching the end of the hall, she knock on the door to her left.

"So the bastard's dead, huh?" she said while they waited for a response, "Good riddance I say. Still, it explains a lot; she's been holed up in here since daybreak, wouldn't come down for breakfast." She knocked again, "Eileen dear? You're son is here to see you."

There was the creaking of a bed, followed by slow, halting footsteps across the floor. The door opened a crack, someone peering out at them from inside.

"Severus?" Eileen croaked wearily. Slowly she opened the door wider, "Is that you?"

"Hello, Mum," Severus said, his voice soft as if he were talking to a frightened animal, "How are you?"

"Severus," Eileen breathed out. She stepped out into the hall, her hands coming up to cup Severus's face.

"It's been so long," she whispered, stroking her thumbs across his cheeks reverently.

Despite being Tobias's punching bag for much of her son's life, Eileen had easily seen better days compared to now. Painfully thing, her bones jutted out more than they used to, her hair graying faster than Severus had ever seen it. She looked years older than she should, her frame fragile as a faberge egg. Her eyes were red and puffy, tear tracks dried to her face.

"I'll leave you three alone," Ms. Everdee said gently, "Call if you need anything."

Eileen paid Everdee no mind as the woman departed.

"Come in, come in," she beckoned, stepping aside so that Severus could enter. She turned to Lily, seemingly take notice of her for the first time, "You're that Evans girl," she murmured.

Lily nodded, giving her a friendly smile, "It's good to see you again, Ma'am."

Eileen appeared not to have heard her, mind lost in thought.

"That's right; he's living with the Evanses now," she murmured, "That's right…"

"So mum," Severus began, "How have you been?"

"I've been alright," Eileen replied, shutting the door to her room. She gestured to a small chair by her bed, "Please, sit."

Lily took the chair while Severus settled himself at the foot of Eileen's bed.

"Looks like a nice enough place," Severus observed, looking around the room. It wasn't very big, but certainly cleaner than their old house. The walls were papered in a bright flowery pattern. Two dressers sat side by side by next to the closet door, along with two desks. There was also a second bed in the room.

"My roommate," Eileen clarified, "She's out for a walk at the moment."

"So this place is lacking in space," Severus stated.

Eileen shrugged, taking a seat up by the headboard, "We make do."

"Uh-huh," Severus said noncommittally. His eyes fell to a framed photo on the nightstand; Eileen's wedding photo, "You know about dad." It wasn't a question.

Eileen's face crumpled inward, fresh tears springing to her eyes.

"Yes…" she said softly, "They called me this morning," she glanced at her wedding photo, "My poor, dear Toby…"

Severus clenched his fist in his lap to ground himself; he wasn't here to argue, "How are you coping?"

"As well as I can be," Eileen admitted, picking up the picture off the nightstand. She traced Tobias's features with her finger, "It's so hard to believe I'll never see him again."

"Well you were without him for months already," Severus pointed out, "You should be somewhat accustom to it by now."

Eileen shook her head, "That was supposed to be only temporary though. Eventually he would have come home."

Severus inhaled deeply through his nose, knuckles turning white.

"But mum," he said patiently, "It was made pretty clear by the ministry that staying with him wasn't the best idea."

"Only because he didn't know how to control his temper; that could have been worked on," Eileen said feebly, "When he was released he could have started courses for his anger like I have; it could have worked out. You don't know how he used to be, Severus. Tobias was so charming and sweet when I met him."

"And how long before that little charade ended?" Severus asked a little more forcefully than he intended. He took a deep breath, "Mum, wasn't the whole point of the hearing that I could only come home to you if it was deemed safe for me? They made it clear that under no circumstances would Tobias ever be legally approved to come near me again. Would you really have chosen him over me? Your own son?"

"You're going to be an adult in January," Eileen reasoned uncomfortably, "You would have been moving out to start your own life in a few months anyway."

"So you would put me out for him," Severus said.

"Of course not, Severus," Eileen denied, "I told you, we could have worked on Tobias's drinking, fix his temper. Maybe you wouldn't have been allowed to live with us, but like I said you'll be an adult soon anyway; the restriction was only for you as a minor. You could have come visit us, had dinner just like old times. We could have fixed things, Severus."

"You cannot fix what was never whole in the first place, mum!" Severus snapped.

"Severus…" Eileen whimpered, startled.

Lily reached across the gap between them and took one of Severus hands in her own.

"Take a deep breath," she advised, "We don't want Everdee coming back up here."

Severus breathed deeply, eyes closed as tight as he could manage. Briefly, he listed off various potion ingredients in alphabetical order in his head, getting as far as frog spawn before he felt composed enough to speak again.

"You fix things that break, mother," he said, staring at his hands, "But this family has never not been broken. It was never in one piece; there's nothing to fix because we never had all the pieces to put it back together."

"That's not true, Severus," Eileen refuted.

"But it is," Severus insisted, "This family was never whole, not even your relationship with dad. You lied to each other right from the start; you being a witch and…him being a good person. Things were off to a bad start right from the beginning. You can't fix this family."

"Even if you could," he continued, "I'd never want to be a part of it, because I refuse to pretend that what that man did to us didn't matter."

"Of course it matters, Severus," Eileen insisted.

"Did it?" Severus questioned, "When did it matter; when he pushed me down the stairs when I was six? When he broke my arm when I was nine? What about when he tried to strangle the life out of me?" He leaned in closer to Eileen, "Be honest; if the Evanses hadn't intervened that night you never would have called the police. If I was even alive by morning, you would have gone right back to pretending everything was fine. Admit it?"

"What do you want me to say, Severus?" Eileen asked.

"I want you to tell me why I had to suffer all those years because you wouldn't leave him," Severus declared, "I want to know why we had to stay when even you were miserable."

Severus ran a hand through his hair tiredly, "Mum, do you have any idea how I feel? For years I begged you to take us away from him. Years, mum, and for you always had some excuse. No money, no place to go, and now that he's out of the picture and I'm no longer living with you, you come here. They let children live here; we could have come here together years ago. But you just wouldn't leave him."

"It wasn't my choice to come here," Eileem argued, "Without Toby, I couldn't afford the house. I had to come here."

"Oh, so if father had never been locked up you would have had us stay with him forever?" Severus questioned hotly.

"He was my husband," Eileen cried.

"And I am your son!" Severus hissed, "You made me, I didn't ask to exist. After bringing me into this world the least you could have done was protect me from him. But no, you were determined to stick it out, hanging onto some fantasy from when you two were young, as if you could recapture it after the real Tobias came out. He beat us mum!"

He was breathing harshly after that outburst, struggling to maintain some semblance of composure.

Lily got up and came to sit beside Severus on the bed.

"It's okay, Sev," she whispered in his ear, rubbing his arm, "It's okay."

Severus looked to Lily gratefully, thankful for someone to anchor him to rationality.

"Nobody's perfect," Eileen argued weakly, "I've done terrible things too."

Severus leveled Eileen with a cold, hard stare.

"Yes but your actions were a product of his," he bit out, "It was fear and hurt, it was anger; I understand those feelings because I have them too. What was his excuse? He was at the top of our pecking order; what possible reason could he have for turning his hand on his wife and child."

"You wouldn't understand," Eileen said sadly, looking forlornly down at her wedding photo. Tobias was smiling in the picture, "He was a different man a long time ago. I don't know what changed him, but I'll never regret the good times we had. I used to hope there'd come a day when things would go back to how they were, that the old Toby would come back to me. I really thought if I could just figure out what made him like this, I could fix it and everything would be okay again."

Severus crossed his arms, unimpressed, "You never spoke this highly of him when he was alive. You couldn't wait to lay out his faults when you two had a row."

"You don't realize what you have until it's gone, Severus," Eileen said, caressing the photo.

She looked up at Severus brokenly.

"He used to be a good father," she stated, "You don't remember it, but he was. He used to take you to the park, and dress you every morning. He'd come home from the mill and you'd coming running to cling to his leg and he'd just laugh. He loved you, Severus."

"Until I turned out to be something other than what he wanted," Severus pointed out, "Same way his feelings changed about you. Since when is true love conditional, mother?"

"You wouldn't understand," Eileen said again, her voice starting to sound weaker. She slumped against the headboard, "Maybe you will when you're in love someday…I feel tired," she announced suddenly, "If it's alright with you, I'd like a rest…" she started to lie down.

Severus nodded, his mouth set in a grim line.

"We'll leave you be," he said simply.

As he went to stand up, Eileen grabbed his arm in a tight grip.

"You'll come see me again, won't you?" she asked, almost desperately.

Severus kept his face neutral, though the ticking of his jaw was noticeable to at least Lily.

"Of course," he said calmly, "You're my mother, after all."

Eileen gave him a watery smile. Tugging on his arm, she made Severus lean over so that she could kiss him on the forehead.

Severus waited until Eileen situated herself before pulling the blankets up over her. As he headed for the door with Lily, he softly called back, "Merry Christmas, mum."

"Oh," he heard Eileen murmur sleepily, "Is it that time already…I could have sworn it was only October…" muttering to herself, she drifted off.

Severus closed the door with a soft click, careful not to disturb his slumbering mother.

Severus and Lily descended the stairs slowly, neither saying a word. Halfway down the stairs, Severus reached for Lily's hand, holding it tightly, almost as if to reassure himself she was actually there.

They passed Ms. Everdee coming out of a room on the main floor.

"Mum's sleeping," Severus explained, "She got tired rather suddenly."

"Did she?" Ms. Everdee said with a frown. She looked up towards the ceiling, presumably towards Eileen's room, "I wonder if she's gotten into those again…"

"We'll show ourselves out," Severus said awkwardly, watching as the woman stared at the ceiling in concentration.

"Oh, what?" Everdee said, focusing back on them again, "Right…Helen, dear," she called to a passing woman, "Could you lock up after these two leave? I need to check on something." She wandered up the stairs, muttering something about locking the medicine cabinet.

Severus and Lily allowed themselves to be escorted out, Helen never saying anything to them other than a brief hello and goodbye before she locked the gate and headed back inside.

Severus kept a firm hold of Lily's hand as they head back to the bus stop, the sky darkening around them.

"I'm glad he's dead," Severus said out of the blue, "The way he's warped her thinking—he deserves to be six feet deep," he shook his head with a bitter laugh, "I hate to say it, but him dying is a pretty good Christmas present."

"Not the most cheerful thought," Lily admitted with a grimace, "But I can't say I disagree with you. It's doubtful he ever would have changed his ways. It's best for your mother that she's away from him."

"I just wish she'd see that," Severus muttered sourly, "How can you love someone if they take such pleasure in hurting you? None of what he did was accidents; he wanted us to suffer. How can she still love him?"

"I don't know, Sev," Lily said somberly, leaning against Severus, "Sometimes people mistake things for love that really aren't. She gave up everything to be with him and he didn't even love her how she wanted. Maybe she doesn't want to admit it was all for nothing."

"Maybe," Severus conceded, "I just…she used to be happy. I can barely recall those times, but I remember her smile. Tobias took that all away, Lily. Why couldn't he have died sooner."

"Sometimes bad people don't get what's coming to them before others get hurt," Lily said, "Sometimes punishment comes farther down the line," She wrapped her arms around Severus, "I'm sorry it didn't come sooner, Sev."

"Me too," Severus replied, holding Lily close, "Me too."

Heavy stuff this week, huh?

Many of you probably are not surprised that Eileen still loves Tobias. It's oftentimes hard for battered men and women to let go of the memories of what once made them love their abuser, the person the abuser was during the initial stages of a relationship. Sometimes that 'nice' side of them you feel for was an act by a practiced liar and it is hard to reconcile with yourself that the person you loved never existed; other times the 'good' person you loved really was there at one time but trauma or hardships like PTSD, grief, or addiction robbed them of who they once were and you stay because you cling to the hope that there is a way to bring the old them back.

Eileen knew a different Tobias, a man who was kind and charming. But fear and prejudice can warp a person, and being deceived can make a person feel bitter and entrapped. Eileen did contribute a teeny, tiny bit to her unhappy marriage by lying to him all the way to the alter. Just as no one deserves to be harmed, no one deserves to be misled and lied to on such a grand scale.

It's hard to be the child of an abuser, but even harder to be the child of someone who still loves the one who abused you and others. For Severus, it's like being told that his suffering doesn't truly matter. He's heard from plenty of people that what his father did was wrong, but he wants that validation from the one person who witnessed and was complicit to it all. Eileen's unwillingness to let go of a version of Tobias that Severus never even knew must be upsetting.

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