This is my fanfiction story. All rights belong to Kurt Sutter and FX. I am just borrowing the Sons of Anarchy characters. Reba is my OC as is Kaylee. I also give rights to the CW and the creators of iZombie for their known characters. This is a work of Fiction. Story rated m for rape situations and abuse. May include lemons in later chapters. Please Read and Review. This is my first story and I would appreciate any critique you have.
Chapter 20: Stronger
Tig and I went in after Clay and Gemma. I went over to Wendy and gave her a hug. I said, "Congrats Wendy he's beautiful. I got him a little something since I couldn't get him anything for the baby shower." I pulled out the monogrammed SAMCRO beanie I got for him and handed it to her.
She took it from me and looked up tearfully and said, "Thank you so much Reba. It is absolutely lovely." She then handed the beanie off to Jax to put on Abel's head. Tig came up beside me and kissed Wendy's forehead and gave his own congratulations. He handed her the monogrammed SAMCRO booties he got for Abel and Wendy nearly let the tears fall out of her eyes. She continued "You guys are the sweetest people ever. These gifts are so original. We love them lots."
We said our goodbyes and headed back to Tig's house. When we got there, Tig looked at me and said, "Baby, honestly, are you okay? I know that doctor freaked you out earlier."
I looked at Tig and honestly replied, "I don't know. I mean, I'm sure I will, it's just, I wasn't expecting his name to be Blaine. And I am so terrified that I have to tell Chibs and Uncle Bobby about Blaine and Major raping me, and I don't think I'm ready, but I know I need to tell them."
Tig hugged me tight and said, "It's okay baby. I will be right here for you through it all. I know we jumped into this relationship and you know I love you. I am not going anywhere. Chibs and Bobby will understand why you didn't want to tell them at first. Baby, you are stronger than you look."
I wiped my tears away and kissed Tig as passionately as I could. I thought to myself once again what did I do to deserve him. He was the sweetest guy I could possibly imagine, and he loved me. We broke out of our kiss as a knock sounded on the front door. I got up and went to open it up knowing full well who was going to be there. Chibs and Uncle Bobby walked in and looked at us both. They sat down across from where Tig was sitting.
I went to sit back with Tig and said, "Okay, so I know I need to tell you guys what has happened to me and why I freaked out today when I learned that the doctor's first name is Blaine. I really hope you guys don't think of me differently and I hope you don't get mad at me for not telling you sooner. I was trying to be stronger than what I am. So, you already know that Major was an abusive asshole and would beat me when he was drunk, but that's not all that happened." I paused to take a deep breath as I felt Tig rub my back soothingly, so I continued, "It was even worse than that. When I was eight, I experienced true pain and disgust with myself. I wanted to die even then. I didn't know what it all meant, but I knew I hated myself for letting it happen. It felt wrong. It started one night when I hadn't been hit by Major in a week or so. He came into my room and he raped me. He told me we were just playing games without our clothes on, but I still felt disgusting. I remember after he left my room that night I cried for a long time. I cried so much I woke him up and was beat as a result just hours after he violated me and stole my innocence. I can't tell you about every single time this happened to me, because it was happening until I was 13 and he left our family just after he caused a 4-wheeler wreck, that made it almost impossible for my mum to have any more children even though she wanted at least 3. I can tell you that this happened to me every single fucking night when he wasn't drunk. I think I could understand if he was drunk, but knowing he wasn't made it all the worse in my head. For 5 damn years he alternated between raping me and beating me every night. He would threaten to take me away from my mum forever if she ever stepped in when he was beating me. She didn't, doesn't, know about him raping me though, and I would prefer if she never found out. I got stronger over time. Quieter. One time I stabbed him with a fork because he was going to hit me. I got it worse that night because I hurt him. I didn't have any friends. Even after he left, I refused to make friends in case he came back. When I was about 16 my mum met Ravi. He is great. He has never hurt me other than when I didn't do homework, and he just punished me by taking my books away from me so that I couldn't read." I let out a smile when I mentioned that form of punishment, then continued, "Him and mum quickly started trying for a baby even after the 4-wheeler wreck and doctors saying it would be near impossible for her to have any more children. Mum had three miscarriages before she finally got pregnant with a little boy. Someone who would become my brother, and boy did I already love him. I had always wanted a brother, and at the time I didn't know I had you, Chibs. By this point I'm already 17 and almost done with high school. They didn't tell me she was pregnant until she was about 14 weeks pregnant. They wanted to spare me from having to lose another brother or sister because she had a miscarriage." I paused and took another deep breath and continued, "Major came over one day. He was ready to try to steal me I guess, no one ever told me why he came over. Anyway, he had my mom so stressed and livid that she couldn't see straight. She fell down the stairs because Major baited her towards them. He claims he never touched her, but I feel like he pushed her because he knew she was pregnant. When I finally walked into the house, she was laying at the bottom of the stairs bleeding. I knew in my heart what was going on, but I couldn't believe it. I quickly rushed over to her to make sure she was alive then I went and called the ambulance. It took them 20 fucking minutes to show up at my house. In the span of waiting for them to show up, I had to help my mum push my dead baby brother out of her stomach because she was bleeding profusely since he died in her belly. I was the first one to hold my dead brother and, fuck it hurt terribly. I immediately felt like it was my fault. Maybe I should have called 911 right away. Maybe if I was any earlier coming home. I didn't want anyone else to know about what happened, so only she, Ravi, the two paramedics who finally arrived and I knew. I didn't even tell my therapist because god knows I am one fucked up individual. The reason I freaked out so much today at the hospital is because Ravi and mum wanted to name my little brother Blaine, and they never got the chance to. The reason I didn't tell you guys sooner is because I didn't want you to blame yourselves for something you had no control over. You didn't even know I existed."
I was crying again by the end of my little monologue and I let out a shaky breath as Chibs fell to his knees in front of me and squashed me to his chest. I glanced at Uncle Bobby and saw that for once he didn't have that all knowing look on his face. He was genuinely shocked by what I revealed to them. He couldn't have guessed that I was going to say these things about his previous brother by law. Chibs pulled away from me and I wiped his own tears away and told him, "Don't you dare try to blame yourself for all of this. I know how you work by now and it was not your fault. You wouldn't have been able to stop it even if we knew about each other. He would have killed you." Chibs hugged me tighter than before and kissed my forehead over and over.
I pulled out of Chibs' arms and went to my Uncle Bobby. He pulled me into a hug of his own and said, "I am so very sorry little McEntire. You have the sweetest soul and should not have had to experience any of that. Especially from Major. I knew he was a jackass when your mum called me and asked me to bring you here, but I would never have guessed he did that to you. I wish I would have been there. He might have hurt Chibs, but I would have killed him myself for ever looking at you wrong." Uncle Bobby just held me while I cried.
When I was all cried out, I looked up at my uncle and said, "T-thank you Un-Uncle Bobby. I don't know wha-what I would do without you." I sniffled and continued, "I don't want you to go out of your way to try to kill Major. I need to do it; but if the opportunity arises and I am nowhere near you guys, kill him for me." I looked at Chibs and then finally my eyes fell back on Tig, my love, my boyfriend, the guy I trusted more than anyone and said, "That goes for you and Chibs as well Tiggy. If you guys are one on one with Major and I can't kill him, do it for me, if you want to that is." Tig and Chibs looked at me like I was crazy and I let out a genuine laugh for the first time in a while. I felt a lot stronger telling the three men in my life. I knew eventually I probably needed to tell my mum and Ravi, but I didn't want them to have to go through hearing that about me. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I looked around once again at my three guys and I just knew that everything would get better eventually. One way or another Major was going to die. I don't know who would be the one to kill him, but I knew he would be dead. It may not be for another 5 years but eventually, and that little bit of hope made a crack in this shell I kept around myself.