This is in Izuru's POV, and this chapter is set in an AU where Komaeda and Hinata are his parents.
Warning only for Izuru and his 'i'm-so-done-with-your-shit' sarcasm. Not quite a 'date' in the romantic sense, at least not where Izuru's concerned anyway.
Nagito likes to be a little shit and text from Hajime's phone, apparently.
Ps. This was an absolute nightmare to code for AO3
Enjoy :)
START OF CHAPTER:
His parents were so fucking embarrassing.
Izuru Kamakura loved his parents, though he didn't show it (or any other emotion) very often. They were kind, hardworking people, and they loved Izuru dearly.
So when he'd met a friend at school, a girl by the name of Chiaki Nanami, she wants to come over and meet his parents. Seeing as she wouldn't give this up no matter how many times he told her it was illogical, since they were not dating, he'd just told her to shut up and follow him home already.
Maybe a bit blunt, but she'd smiled and walked with him anyway.
As they were walking to the train station, his phone buzzed. When both teenagers were seated, that's when he checked his phone, only to see a text from his father.
Dad (Hajime):
Izuru dear, i am about as straight as a circle.
His lips pursed.
Seriously?
Just as he was unlocking his phone, another text came in.
Dad (Hajime):
Ignore that Izzy, Nagito stole my phone, the twit.
He didn't even have to wait thirty seconds for the next text.
Dad (Hajime):
It would seem your dear father is having an identity crisis
Dad (Hajime):
No i'm not!
Dad (Hajime)
We were engaged
Dad (Hajime):
IN COMBAT!
Dad (Hajime)
Then what's the ring on your finger?
Dad (Hajime)
It's clearly a knuckle-thingy, so i can punch my enemies in style!
Dad (Hajime):
Hajime we're literally married with a son
Chiaki giggled next to him.
"Who's that?"
"My fathers." Izuru pointed to the contact name.
"It's funny how they interact."
"It's embarrassing."
"I think it's cute."
Not replying to that, Izuru sent back a text.
Me:
Yes, and said son is reading your texts. Both of you are embarrassing me, go argue in person.
Dad (Hajime):
I would if Nagito would stop stealing my phone and being a little shit. He seriously keeps wrestling the phone from me.
Dad (Hajime):
But you look so pretty in that maids dress! :D
Dad (Hajime):
WTF Nagito?! Don't listen to him I am NOT wearing that! :(
Jesus christ, now they were breaking out the emoticons.
Me:
If either of you are in a maid dress when me and Chiaki get there, i am never speaking to the two of you again.
Dad (Hajime):
Chiaki? Who's that?
Oh shit.
Dad (Hajime)
Oh my god Hajime! Izuru's bringing his girlfriend home to meet the parents!
Me:
No.
Dad (Hajime):
Oh my god Hajime, how I've waited for this day! :')
Me:
Stop this. Stop this right now.
Dad (Hajime):
This was the friend you mentioned a while ago, isn't it? This 'Chiaki' girl is just a friend, right Izuru?
Dad (Hajime)
She's totally his girlfriend Hajime!
Me:
… why are you two like this?
Izuru face palmed. Now he really wished he hadn't said anything, even if he got it through to his parents that Chiaki was not his girlfriend, dammit, he'd now have to endure relentless teasing for days.
Dad (Hajime)
Nagito shut up. They could very well just be studying.
Dad (Hajime)
Hajime, my love, do i need to remind you how many times in high school we'd be at each other's houses "Studying" together?
Me:
… that is more then i ever wanted to know about my parents. Can both of you please knock this off now?
Dad (Hajime):
Fiiiine Izzy, you're such a stick in the mud! I won't tease you about your girlfriend anymore…
Me:
Say, what's for dinner?
It was an abrupt diversion, he knew it, and his parents both probably knew it. He just hopes it worked. Chiaki had been looking the whole time, but thankfully hadn't commented.
As their train rattled on, the next text came in.
Dad (Hajime):
Preparing your wedding cake~ What flavour does Chiaki like?
Dad (Hajime):
Ignore that twit Izuru. Does Chiaki have any allergies or other dietary needs?
Izuru showed the phone to Chiaki, wordlessly passing on the question. The pinkette held her hand out for the phone, and Izuru raised an eyebrow, but complied.
A minute later, when he got the phone back, he couldn't believe the words that his eyes were currently conveying to him.
Me:
This is Chiaki, Izuru's parents. No i do not have any allergies or food needs… and i prefer strawberry wedding cake
XXXX-XXX-XXX (as i think Izuru won't let me have his phone after this)
If he were more prone to emotional displays, his face would be mortified beyond belief.
"Chiaki!" Izuru hissed.
"What? Your dad wanted to know."
He went to type… but it was too late.
The damage was done, and now he'd never regain his dignity… his parents would never let him live this down.
Dad (Hajime)
AJBDKFLKGEHHJKL OMG OMG!
Dad (Hajime)
SEE HAJIME I TOLD YOU THEY WERE DATING!
Dad (Hajime)
MY BABYS FINALLY BECOMING A MAN! T_T
Me:
Dad no.
Me:
Chiaki took my phone.
Me:
I had no part in that whatsoever.
Dad (Hajime)
Oooooh~ So she got the balls to ask you out before you did?
Me:
You're missing the point.
Me:
I am NOT dating Chiaki. I am simply bring a friend over.
Me:
A decision which i now regret.
Dad (Hajime)
This is your father, Hajime. I'm sorry about that twit. He keeps screeching something about 'shipping' you two… feel free to bring your friend over, and i'll try to reign him in.
Me:
Please make sure to do that in your bedroom. And quietly.
Dad (Hajime):
Izuru?! Wow… please don't do that again.
Me:
Agreed.
Dad (Hajime):
Awww Izzy your papa Hajime's blushing! Don't worry, we'll make sure to stay out of your way for as loooooong as you need~
Me:
Cease this topic at once. I don't want to know about your gross sex life. It was embarrassing enough to type that.
Right on cue, or at least to the relived Izuru, the train had now arrived at their stop.
Me:
Me and Chiaki are getting off the train now. Don't you dare embarrass me when we get there.
Dad (Hajime):
Hajime doesn't have a tight enough grip, does he? Don't worry Izzy dear, i'd never ruin my chance at grandchildren~
Dad (Hajime)
Nagito he is not remotely old enough for that. Izuru i do not want grandchildren before you graduate, you hear me?
Izuru resisted the urge to face palm.
Me:
Both of you need to cease this immediately. We'll be home soon, as i said, do NOT scare Chiaki off please.
Without waiting for a reply, Izuru shut his phone. Turning to face Chiaki with annoyed grimace.
"… is the thought of dating me that bad?"
Without answering the question, Izuru grabbed the pinkette's hand, leading her toward his home.
"…please stop encouraging my parents like that, or else dad will start planning your wedding dress."
Not another word was said between the two teenagers, but Chiaki couldn't help but grin at his avoidance of the question.
As Izuru rushed himself and Chiaki up the stairs, he could hear one last exchange between his parents.
"I ship it."
"Can you not?!"
So. damn. embarrassing.
END OF CHAPTER:
Writing this really made me laugh, i hope you guys enjoyed it too!
Cya next chapter :)
Tairulz