Nagito's parental status in this chapter is undecided, cause like i needed to mention his mother, but in canon they're dead?
Oh well, this is an AU after all, so if anything they're recently dead i guess. Meh, interpret how you will. They're not really important in this chapter so I guess it doesn't really matter.
…
I just had a thought, how do you think a Nagito as batman AU would go? I mean… his parents died tragically right? And he's super rich, soooo… with a few AU tweaks who thinks it would work? And Hajime totally has to be the love interest, except they actually get together, of course.
And you have Junko… and i'm sorry, but a despair Mikan would even be a perfect Harley Quinn! In my mind, Junko and Despair! Mikan would definitely work something like a Joker/Harley Quinn sorta thing, so that'd be perfect.
Huh, i guess my brain put more thought into that then i realised, heh nice.
I mean i don't feel like doing it, but if anyone else wants to be my guest lol.
(Actually i lied, now that i actually stop to think about it i totally want someone else to do it.)
START OF CHAPTER:
Hajime loves his boyfriend, he really does. He's kind and sweet, the most adorable little shit that he could ever ask for.
But there were just some days…
"Hajime? How do i make tea?"
He could only blink, looking at his boyfriend.
"You… can't make a cup of tea?"
The other boy went slightly pink, averting his gaze for a moment.
"No…?"
Hajime blinked again. Was he serious?
"I, uh… always had my mother or someone else to make it for me."
Apparently he was.
Shaking his head slightly, he stepped towards his boyfriend, amused.
"Come on, let's teach you how to actually be a functioning adult."
Making Nagito Komaeda a functioning adult, however, Hajime soon realised…
Was harder then he thought it was.
"What do you mean you can't cook?"
"I… i can make sandwiches?"
He gave the paler boy a blank stare.
"Uh-huh. And anything that doesn't just involve cutting bread?"
"Uh… microwave noodles?"
Hajime continued to stare at his lover, unimpressed.
"Goddamit…"
And then the same thing a few days later.
The brunette had come home from work, dead tired, only to notice a wierd smell in the house. Not a bad smell, per say, just weird.
Almost like… detergent?
But when he passed through the kitchen, nobody was there, and not a thing was any more out of place then usual. So, he'd moved on, where else would detergent be coming from?
It hit him.
The goddamn laundry.
Maybe a little bit faster then necessary, Hajime made his way to the other end of the house, where the laundry room was located.
Only to discover…
"What in the actual fuck?!"
The whole laundry room was a complete mess. Soapy water, suds, and sprinkles of laundry powder were strewn across the room. The washing machine was on, apparently there were clothes in there, and it was now making a shrill beeping noise.
And right there, sitting in the middle of it all, was his boyfriend Nagito, sprawled out on the floor looking embarrassed.
"Ah! Y-you're home early, Hajime?"
He gaped at the mess.
"What did you do?!"
"…laundry…?"
Hajime groaned, running a hand down his face.
…
"Please tell me you know how to clean, Nagito. For the love of god, at least give me that."
Silence.
"Oh my fucking god, you are not serious?!"
"…i know how to use a vacuum cleaner…. yay?"
The brunette could only groan.
…
"Nagito… how many days has it been since you had a shower?"
"Are you saying i smell?"
"No, you smartass. I'm asking if you know basic damn hygiene."
"Then… uh, yesterday? No wait, two days… i think? Yeah, i'm gonna say about two…"
An eyebrow raised.
"…Or maybe three?"
"Jesus christ, do you seriously not remember the last time you had a shower?"
"I don't have a good memory, okay?" Nagito pouted, he'd actually pouted.
Nope, he was annoyed dammit, goddammit that's not adorable! … Ah hell, who was Hajime kidding? That had to have been the most adorable pout he'd ever seen in his life.
"You… you… just go have one, okay?"
"Now?"
"Yes, now."
"Yes mom." Nagito teased, laughing as he left the room.
A few minutes later:
"Hajimeeeeee…."
Hajime, seated on the couch, didn't even move as he called back.
"No, Nagito, i'm not joining you in there this time."
"No! Not for that! Could you come here please?"
Really? If it wasn't sex, then what on earth did he want Hajime there for? He sighed, and got off the couch.
About halfway there, however, he heard a faint whine of pain. Was Nagito hurt?
Walking a little faster, Hajime finally made it o the bathroom, only opening the door to see…
"Okay, what the hell did you do?"
Nagito was covering his eyes with one hand, holding a towel that was wrapped around his waist with the other.
"Hajime…?"
"Noooo… the magical cleanliness fairy, come to kill you for your insolence."
The albino let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a cry of pain.
Hajime frowned.
"Seriously, what's going on in here?"
"I got shampoo in my eyes… and it hurts."
The brunette sighed.
"Seriously? That's all? I came in here thinking you were in trouble, only to turn out to be saving you from your own stupidity."
"But Hajime! It wasn't supposed to huuuuurt…."
"Well, genius, what did you think would happen when you get shampoo in our eye?"
"But it was that no tears stuff!" His boyfriend protested.
Hajime ran a hand down his face. Unbelievable.
"First of all, you moron, that stuff is meant for children, why the hell are you using it? Second of all, what the label actually means is that your hair won't beak or damage when you use it. Tears, in this case, isn't referring to you crying."
"…what?"
"You seriously didn't know that?"
"… my life is a lie."
"Jesus fucking christ, Nagito…"
…
Hajime swore sometimes that dating Nagito was actually more like taking care of an adult cat.
"Nagito, how long has it been since you've done the dishes?"
"A few hours, i think? Why?"
Without a word, Hajime pointed to the absurdly high stack of dishes perched on the kitchen sink, and raised an eyebrow.
There were a lot of raised eyebrows when you were dating Nagito Komaeda, Hajime had come to realise.
"Ehehe… oops?"
"Try a few days, Nagito."
"Well… i might do them, if, maybe, i could have a little… motivation?"
Hajime was one step ahead of his boyfriend, backing away from wandering pale hands.
"Nope, no sex until you get those damn dished done."
"Aw, pretty please?"
The way Nagito just batted his eyelashes should be made illegal. They almost made Hajime instantly cave… almost.
"No."
"But-"
"Nope. Dishes."
The pout he got in response should also be made illegal.
'Who allowed that man to be this adorable…!'
So, basically, what Hajime discovered over the course of dating Nagito Komaeda so far?
What he's good at…
Well, everything Nagito wasn't, apparently.
END OF CHAPTER:
Aha, Nagito in this chapter is mostly me, i swear (and would be if i ever lived by myself). Who's idea was it to allow me to become a legal adult? Lol i swear i'm more like an adult cat.
Cya next chapter :)
Tairulz