Chapter 2

4:56am

Erin entered her small, rotting apartment and was greeted with the whiff of musk and emptiness. Trying to catch her breath since she had to climb up four floors on foot, she had her stilettos dangling off her index finger on one hand and a brown paper bag in the other.

What was in the bag, you ask?

Vodka

It was her true friend. Never will it judge her. Never will it leave her. Never will it disobey her. It was the one and only things that got her through the day, that allowed her to forget. Well, that and, of course, Noah.

She knows not to get wasted with him around. It wouldn't be what a good mother would've done.

Like she's even a good mother...

But still; she tries not to get Noah exposed to her bad decisions and questionable lifestyle. She knows better than to be Bunny.

And anyway, it's not like she drinks every single day, just maybe almost every day. But then again, that came with the job. Sometimes the guy's at the strip club would buy her drinks. Sometimes she'd decline their offer but most of the time she needed to wash down the disgust she felt.

"Shit!" she cried, holding up her foot as a stepped on one of Noah's toys.

She didn't stop by at Annie's to pick Noah up, figuring it was still quite early. The sun hasn't rose yet and she needed time to catch up on some much needed sleep, alone, without her son. As much as she loves her baby, she just couldn't stand him him recently.

At first, she freaked out when Noah hadn't start teething at six months. While all the mother's at the clinic were raving about how cute their babies looked with tiny white teeth growing on their pink gums, Noah still looked like an old man as he smiled.

You're just a little late, baby. It's ok.

That was what she kept on telling Noah and her guilt self. But then the seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth month went by, his teeth still was not breaking out.

She knew it was her fault why.

He was born premature and was merely even three pounds. He was so tiny and still needed more time to develop inside her. But she was underweight, had high blood pressure, was constantly stressed and was still stripping, everything added up into her going into preterm labour.

She wasn't strong enough, both - mentally and physically.

That was her doing.

She had been drinking, smoking and experimenting on all sorts of drugs up until she found out that she was with child. And she was already three months along when she started noticing changes.

She was scared when she first found out. Of course she was. Knowing that she had to not only go through the pregnancy all on her own, but also, be a single parent, be a role model to this tiny human being, provide for the life she had created, give it the life she've never had. Having Noah terrified her.

She went to an OB clinic, very well knowing that she had to come clean with the doctor, very well knowing that she needed professional help, very well knowing that she couldn't do the detox all on her on. So for the first time since she started abusing illicit drugs, she wholeheartedly agreed to a week-long detox programme.

Now at eleven months, Noah had just finally started teething and she could be any happier. While she was very much ecstatic, she had totally underestimated how much more difficult it would be. He would cry all the damn time, even more than usual. It seemed like crying was the only thing he did all day long. She didn't know an infant could cry as much as he does.

Even chilling his favourite toy so he could chew on it to numb his gums, wouldn't work almost half of the time. He'd be fine for an hour or so then the waterworks started all over again.

But every time he cried, it broke a piece of her heart. She knows he's in pain, knows that he's crying for her to make it stop, but there's nothing she could do to help him. It was the way of life.

Erin dropped her keys down on the table beside the door and walked into her stingy apartment. Heading straight to the kitchen to chill the newly purchased bottle of Smirnoff in the refrigerator.

Sitting on the couch in the living room space while unlacing her corset, she listened to the hundreds of voicemails that Bunny and the other two clients had left her.

Shaking her head, she chuckled at the messages. She was hurt, to be honest, at their choice of words. In her twenty four years of life, she hadn't been called that many names.

Slut

Lazy hooker

Cunt

Bad mother

The list went on and on and on. Profanities after profanities. Demanding a reason for her absence. Demanding for her to service them. To do what she was born to.

The worst part was; it was Bunny who had said most of the hurtful things.

"It's bad for business bitch! Why'd ya leave two of our best clients hangin'?" Bunny's recorded message screamed before Erin turned the machine off.

"Because I'm sick, Bunny." she whispered as she made her way to the bathroom.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, it felt as though her brain was pounding against her skull. She've been feeling this way all week and now she doesn't know what to do. Going to the hospital wasn't an option. Not only did she not have insurance, she did not want to have to face the doctors and nurses once they found out what she does for a living.

They might have to ask her of her medical history or her family medical history.

Generations of alcoholics/liver problems.

How long have you had the symptoms?

Over a week.

Does it affect your feelings, home life or work life? How?

Yes. She had to get off of her early. She hardly have the energy to get up out of bed in the morning.

What parts of the body does the symptom affect and does that change over time?

Her brain and her entire body...and no.

Do you have any idea what may trigger your symptom?

Yes...

Do you take any medication, supplements or herbal remedies?

Not exactly.

Have you ever, or do you currently smoke?

Yes.

How often and how much alcohol do you drink?

Sometimes. Not too much.

Do you or have you ever taken any recreational drugs?

She have.

Have you had any pregnancies?

Yes. One.

Were there any abnormalities or complications during any of the pregnancies?

Yes. High blood pressure. A cause for her to go into preterm labour.

Are you sexually active?

Do you have more than one sexual partner?

Are any of your sexual partners of the same sex?

Do you use any method of protection?

Have you ever had an STD?

She knows she wouldn't want to answer those questions. It would be too humiliating.

Doctors aren't stupid. They have medical degrees for a reason. They know when someone's lying. And the moment she'll open her mouth, they'll instant know she's lying.

Most importantly, she didn't want to hear the truth. It could be nothing, she could be just psyching herself out. But with the industry she's involved in, it could be all different kinds of things. Things she definitely don't want to have or get Noah exposed to.

She sighed. Bunny never really cared for her, even as a child. So it wasn't a surprise when Bunny said she didn't give a rat's ass about her burning up when she told her she didn't have the energy to twirl around a pole.

Stripping out of her filthy and skimpy clothes, she folded them neatly into the laundry basket for this weeks' washing. At her day off, she would accumulate a weeks worth of dirty laundry to be taken to the apartment's laundry mat. She was pleased that her apartment had a laundromat which meant she didn't have to carry a bag filled with clothes on one arm and a fussy baby on the other all the way to the nearest laundry service, which was all the way up North, which meant taking the bus.

But before getting into the freezing shower, she stared at the reflection of an unrecognisable female. She swallowed in her protruding bones and her pasty skin. Even with all the make up, the dark circles were still evident.

She didn't like who she have become. She was ashamed. What started out as something temporary, a few months, turned into something long term.

Six years.

This was the life she was leading now.

She climbed into the shower and pulled the shower curtain, letting the cold water wash over her dirty skin, letting the soap lather over her bruised, marked and scared skin.

Erin leaned against the wall of the shower as she listened to hustle of Fuller Park. Drunk, high idiots screaming, music blaring down the street, walls pounding, babies crying, it was a Friday night. It was expected.

So what was she expecting?

A quiet and peaceful night. Fuller Park isn't the suburbs.

"Idiot..." she muttered as she stood under the shower head, shivering, wanting nothing more than to run into her bedroom and put on some comfortable sweats. But the cold is the only way for her to feel clean again.

If she could turn back time, she would go back to when she was fifteen. Young Erin shouldn't have ever gotten herself mixed up with the wrong crowd. She should've known better. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have made stupid decisions, wouldn't have gone to juvie, wouldn't have gotten addicted to drugs, she wouldn't be leading this life.

She might have finished high school and have gone to college. She might have already graduated.
She might have had a successful career. She might have become a strong and independent woman, not weak and naive one who could bare keep ends meet.

She wished she had a different life.

But Noah wouldn't have ever come into this world the way he did. She could never wish not having him. He means the world to her. Life before Noah was unbearable. Looking back, she had no clue how she had survived.

He saved her, she was heading to nowhere, she had no ambitions, she had nobody, but now she had him to love and care. She loves him with everything in her, it's indescribable. Even if he's making her mad with his neediness.

Though he saved her from herself, now, at the same time, he was driving her back to her old way.

Erin stepped out of the shower after only being in their for five minutes. She has one rule and that was to not spend more than five minutes in the shower. She's practically throwing money down the drain already, she didn't need any more money to go to waste.

Wrapping a towel around her thin frame, she shivered back to her bedroom and quickly hurried to the end of the bedroom to her dresser and pull out a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt. Since central heating wasn't working anymore and since she couldn't afford to have it fixed just yet as she's tight on cash, like always, she'd have to suffer through the cold by putting on extra layers.

"Good thing your not here baby." she chattered through the cold as she walked back to the living room. As he's with Annie most nights, enjoying and sleeping soundly in the warmth of her apartment, she felt a pang of jealousy erupted in the pit of her belly.

Maybe that's why he's always crying. Maybe he doesn't like her. Maybe he like Annie better.

Tears trickled down her face at the realisation. Having put two and two together, she finally got the answer. Her own infant doesn't even like her. That was why he's always crying whenever she's around.

Walking to the fridge, she grabbed the vodka bottle she had just bought and sank down onto the couch. She so desperately needed to take this pain of reality away, she needed to feel nothing, numb. Allowing the burning liquid to wash down her throat, burning her fiercely as she shut her eyes tightly to stop any more tears from flowing.

If only her father hadn't die. If only she didn't have a screw up as a mother. Who knows how her life might have turned out?

She pulled the blanket from the side of the couch and snuggled into the soft material. Grabbing the remote, she switched on the television, flipping through channels after channels until she ended up on a re-run of a show that had vampires, werewolves, and some pretty boy named Damon.

Tiredness hit her hard and she slowly closed her eyes. She probably shouldn't be sleeping since she needed to pick Noah up in a couple of hours.

She wished she didn't have this life.

But she did. If she had learned anything over the past few years, it was that life is what you make of it.

9:27am

Jay rested his head into his palms as he sighed deeply. Here he was. Again. Just another day at the office. Another day at the precinct in District 21.

Barely two hours had passed and he was already downing his fourth cup of coffee. He knows drinking as much coffee as he does was not doing any good to his body but it was the one thing that allowed him to get through the day, especially when there's a whole load of cases and paperwork to complete.

What he needed was to hibernate for the winter just like a bear. His brain was aching, his eyes were tired, his whole body was hurting. He just needed to sleep, forever preferably, since he have not had a good night's sleep in weeks.

It had been an incredibly strenuous week for the Unit. They had taken down, very possibly, their biggest drug bust to date. They had seized about five hundred million dollars in cocaina from the Colombian Cartel. Other than that accomplishment, they had about ten open murder cases on their hands that came from all neighbourhoods in the city. From the North to the South. From Edison Park to Hegewisch. The sad part; they all didn't have any sort of connection. Which meant that they had to hunt down for ten, or more, murderers and bring justice for the victims and their. Not to mention, those were just their cases that needed to be solved for now.

He can't help but wonder how homicide does it. They must have gotten a dozen plus murder cases a day.

Jay gazed out the window, and saw what he sees everyday. A white blanket that covered his city, Chicago. Today's temperature was twelve degrees but it felt like six degrees.

Well beyond freezing.

He can't live without his heater. Unashamed to admit that central heating was his best friend. He doesn't know how he would ever survive without it.

From where he was staring off, he can clearly see a homeless man pushing his trolley filled with cardboard and amongst other things. Now, he feels like an asshole. While he complained about possibly dying without his best friend, the heater, others do not have access to such luxury.

For twenty eight years, minus the tours in Kandahar, he have called this city, the Windy City - home. He loves Chicago with all his heart and is a proud Chicagoan but she's just too damn dangerous.

Deemed as one of the most dangerous city in the country, he can attest to that, with crimes escalating daily, he felt as though all their efforts, as officers of the law, in keeping the city safe were never enough. Crimes were on the raise and he knows they will never stop. It doesn't matter whether one's at the safest neighbourhood, crimes will continue to happen.

That's a fact.

He can't help but think about her. A stranger he absolutely knows nothing about her. Just that her smile made him feel something so different inside. The smile that bloomed those deep dimples of hers. She was just a stranger whom he had bumped into.

She was unknown.

But he was certain she was somewhere in this 606.1 square kilometre city. It had already been a month since their strange encounter and he still had no luck in finding her or bumping into her again. Having been driving and walking down that street for the past month, one might think he have lost his mind, but he haven't. At least he thinks he haven't. He was a strong believer in fate, everything happened for a reason. But he do not know what his reason was.

What was fate's reason for making him feel concerned for a complete stranger?

But if he did find her, what would he say to her?

'Hey, stranger! Do you believe in fate? Cuz I do. And I believe we were meant to bump into each other the other day. Why?...you ask; I have no fucking clue...'

Yap. She definitely wouldn't be freaked out.

The bruise beneath her left eye never escaped his mind. Actually it was the only thing other than her dimples that he noticed. He has a strong uncanny feeling that he can't shake. Someone was hurting her and that was why she switched into defensive mode.

Was her boyfriend beating her?

Was she dead?

Ohhhhhh!

Maybe that was why he never saw her again.

Or maybe their stumble was nothing of fate, not a coincidence, and was not destiny. Maybe there were no deeper meaning into it.

He should really stop overthinking things.

Maybe that was why he's still single.

Shaking his head, he should've done something to help her, he should've done more other than let her walk away. Now she's possibly, most likely, dead. And it was all because of him. Guilt started to sink in; he's a cop. His job was to help people.

He couldn't even help her.

Maybe he should check the coroner's office.

"Sooooo, who is she?" Ruzek asked with an arched brow and cheeky grin as he threw an M&M chocolate at him, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Or he? Not judging."

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head in disgruntlement. He ran his tongue over the smooth surface of his teeth, sucking in his breath. He loves his buddy, Adam, but sometimes he could be really immature.

"Nobody." he replied.

He knew that wasn't the end. He knew they did not believe him and will continue to pester him to spill the beans.

But what's there to spill?

"Like we're supposed to believe that BS." Dawson said as Ruzek and Atwater exchanged knowing glances.

"C'mon, man, what's this chick's name?" Ruzek wheeled his chair to his desk, propping his elbows on the wooden surface, and blinked at him with puppy dog eyes that did nothing to him.

"I don't know."

He really doesn't.

10:12am

The construction outside was doing very little to wake her from her deep slumber. The annoying loud banging and booming and drilling down the street was screaming at her to wake up. Her screaming neighbours from right above were once again going at it. It was the only thing they've been doing ever since she moved in over a year ago.

Fighting.

The cement on her ceilings were already chipping because of their constant throwing of furnitures. It's only a matter of time before this inhabitable apartment collapsed.

She stirred slightly on her couch, all the sounds waking her. It was a sign. She's forgetting something. She's sure if it.

"Noah!"

"Shit!" she threw the quilt over her body. Jumbling off the uncomfortable sofa, her eyes were assaulted by the sun rays and brightness of her apartment as stars slowly faded away.

She coughed. Her throat had started to sore a little.

Reaching to get her phone, she whimpered at the dozens of missed calls and texts from Annie. Quickly calling her to let her know that she was now on her way.

Annie sounded furious. Of course she is. She's late for work.

She ran over to her door, wincing as the sudden movement sent blows after blows to her exhausted brain with ever step she took.

This happens whenever she drinks.

She shouldn't have drank.

Slipping into her boots, she ran to the bus stop. She needed to get the 10:20am bus.

.

Erin ran up the stairs to Annie's apartment, couldn't be bothered to wait for the elevator. After what seemed like forever to get to the fifth floor landing, she pushed into the emergency exit doors and ran through the halls, to get to apartment 508. Immediately frantically knocked on the door the moment she did.

The door burst open with an angry Annie glaring at her with her waitress uniform. Her jaws tightened and her nostrils flared. Annie wasn't one to get mad and when she does, Erin knows to just give her time and space to cool down.

"Annie, I'm so sorry." she whispered as she transferred her her sleeping baby onto her arms.

Thank goodness he's asleep.

"I was two seconds to reporting you missing!" she whispered/shouted at her friend as she went to grab his diaper bag.

"I love you. You know that. You and Noah." she helped sling the bag onto Erin's shoulders, "But whatever extra shit you're...shoving up your nose...it's gotta stop. You have Noah to think about..." she shook her head fiercely, resting her hand on her hips, watching her broken friend plead at her.

"I'm sorry, Annie."

Scrunching her nose, "You reek." she stated before shutting the door.

2:45am

In a blink of an eye, morning turned to afternoon, that turned into evening and now Erin, once again, for the second time this week, found herself doing the walk of shame as she existed the lobby of a hotel.

Only two more clients to go.

The walk of shame wasn't as bad since this hotel wasn't as fancy as the others she have been to tonight. It wasn't even up to par. But she can't complain, now can she? Fancy or not, she was still getting paid and that's all she wanted.

She needed to pay her debt off to Bunny and her no-good husband as soon as possible. It was a mistake as now they had leverage over her. Knowing she shouldn't have borrowed money from the devils themselves, she was left with no other choice that day. It was that or getting sued by the hospital. She was so desperate for cash to pay her medical bills when she had Noah that she asked for her mother to help with the $22,450 bill. Long story-short, the birthing process and everything else that followed wasn't all that pleasant for both Noah and her.

Pulling her coat tighter against her chest, she shuddered as the blast of icy breeze threaten to freeze her extremities. As her chunky heels echoed down Jackson Boulevard, she pulled out a cigarette from her purse, wanting nothing more than to allow the heat from the vice warm her frail body.

She knows she shouldn't be smoking. She knows smoking kills. She knows it's a bad habit. But she just can't help it. She've tried a dozen of times to quit and when she thinks she could do it, that she's ready, she somehow ended up smoking an entire pack.

As she took a long drag, she mentally reminded herself to get to the bank to pay the bills and hire a plumber to fix the heater since the constant chillness was starting to get sickly. It's not like they hadn't been down this road before but it's no way to live either.

Maybe that was why she's feeling under the weather.

"Ahhhh!" she squealed as a rat ran past her. Out of all the animals in this world, it was rats that she can't stand. Small but held so much poison. They're dirty, filthy, cunning and almost always comes out at night.

Wait...that sounded familiar. That sounded so much like her.

She's a dirty rat.

Stopping, she, again, reached inside her purse for her nasal relief spray that wasn't just an ordinary mentholatum spray, it was laced with cocaine. Just enough to kick start her system. Giving her the energy that she needed to perform.

She knows she should listen to Annie but she loves the person who she becomes when on the stimulant. She actually love herself.

Tonight, she didn't drop Noah off at Annie's but with Maya, a trustable neighbour who lives two floors down, instead. It doesn't take a genius to know that Annie was still very angry at her.

She sighed in disappointment. Annie was her only friend, the only person she could trust. She was like a sister to her.

She was her family. Other than Erin, she's the only family Noah has.

No wonder Noah cried all day, he missed her. Annie isn't even a mother, she doesn't even have any kids and she's a better mother than her. She was sure he wasn't allowing Maya to go to sleep right now, at this very moment. The apartment, the surroundings, the people was unfamiliar to him. He must be scared.

Once again she failed as a mother.

Maybe she should stop what she was doing and be the mother she ought to be.

How else would the bills be paid?

But it's not like she hit the streets everyday. Just once or twice a week. And if she's really tight on cash, a couple more. She doesn't like labels but it's safe to say that she's a part time hooker.

Part time or full time, it doesn't really matter. Does it? She was still selling her body for money.

In total, tonight, she would be earning $1,050 for seven client, but when extracting Bunny's share, and adding the tips earned by stripping, that made tonight's earnings at $1009. It wasn't all that bad since she have already got over two thousand dollars in savings, in rainy day money. Money that can't be touch unless needed.

"$1009." But that would soon change as most of today's earning will be deducted for rent that she's already two months behind, bills, debt, formulas, diapers, food, etc. Not to mention, Noah will be turning one next month. She needed to get him a present.

His first gift.

2:51am

Erin looked at her watch and exhaled deeply. She had less than ten minutes to get to her next client's apartment. If she walked down Jackson Boulevard, she wouldn't make it on time. That would take her twenty minutes at most. Leaving her no choice but to cut through Garfield Park.

She knows that it's probably not the brightest of ideas to be walking through Garfield Park at the dead hour. She could get herself killed. She have heard many stories of people getting attacked.

But tonight, she was fearless. It was definitely the drugs talking.

It's a death wish. But she had to get to Adams Street as soon as possible if she wants that $150.

She was known for making stupid and impulsive decisions when high. That's one of the reasons why she loves coke, it justified whatever she got herself involved to. It became reasonable in her mind.

As she scanned the area, there literally were no soul at sight. Maybe if she sprinted to the other side, nobody would even notice.

And that's what she did; she sprinted through the grass, heading diagonally for the other side of the park.

The only lights illuminating were those from the lamppost. The shadows were shining in odd places against the quiet night.

It was a second later that she heard faint sounds of two people, a female and male, bickering harshly at each in a foreign language.

Curiosity got the best of her so, she edged closer to whom she assumed were a couple.

Russian

She was sure they were speaking Russian.

How she knew it was Russian?

Bunny has a thing for foreign men.

"Otpusti menya!"

"U tebya net vybora!"

The hairs on the back of her neck stood, something told her, from their voices, that she needed run, that if she didn't she'll drag herself into a whole lot of trouble.

"GAHHHH!"

Her soul almost leaped out of her body as a blood curdling scream resonated in the empty, dark park.

She's going to die tonight.

He thrusted the knife out of her stomach, shoving her to the ground before plunging it back into her chest again and again and again.

Was what she was witnessing real?

Blinking her eyes just as many, she must be having a bad trip. She can't be witnessing a murder.

Does she really have to bring trouble upon herself?

She just couldn't stay out of trouble. All her life, her stupid decisions have done nothing but manage to get her into sticky situations.

2:55am

Standing out in the open, she cursed at her choice of footwear. She had to get out of here but there's virtually no way out without him hearing her chunky heels as they cluck ferociously for their, her, life. Out of all the days she could be witnessing a murder, one when she's preferably wearing sneakers, tonight just had to be the day.

Just as she took a step to make a run for it, he looked up from the body he had just put wholes in. Their eyes locked for a millisecond before she started running for her life.

This wasn't a bad trip. This was real. He, she and what she saw was very much real.

Her chest tighten as adrenaline coursed through her veins, she sprinted as fast as she could across the grass with her four inch heels, grabbing her phone from her purse to dial those three numbers. She can't die tonight. She can't leave Noah motherless.

"911, what's yours emergency?"

"She's dead!" she shouted breathlessly into her phone, "He stabbed her! She's dead!" her voice echoed down the deserted street. The only evident sounds were her laboured breathing, clunky heels and another pair of heavy footsteps following close behind or so she thought.

"Who's dead, ma'am? Where are you?" the operator asked.

"I don't know!" she frantically pulled at her hair, looking around the street for anything that indicated her location, "I think he's following me!"

"Can you stay on the line please? I know this is scary but can you find somewhere safe to hideout until the police arrive?"

"You're fucking kiddi-"

The line went dead the moment her phone hit the cold ground as did her frail body.

Hey guys! Here's another chapter! Thanks for all the positive reviews! What do you think of this chapter? Let me know your thoughts and review! Thank you for reading!