I decided to use the prompt 'narrator hates the nicest character with a seething passion'. I thought it would be a fun thing to write.

Despite any remarks made in this chapter, I do not actually hate Makoto Naegi. Any and all comments are for the sake of comedy.

Though be warned. There is some swearing.

With that in mind, enjoy the chapter

START OF CHAPTER:

Alright you fucks, listen up-

[Hajime…]

[What? I already told you I don't like this story Nagito.]

[Hajime, muffin please…]

Alright fine, fussypants. Once upon a goddamn time-

[Now you're just being difficult.]

[So?]

Okay so once upon a time, there, we all happy? Good, because I'm not.

So there was this clueless idiot named Makoto Naegi. Should have been called Makoto 'Naive' if you ask me, but hey, agree to disagree.

[What? Don't give me that look Nagito]

So anyway, this kid was exceedingly boring. Nothing interesting in his life, no skills in anything at all, but of course everyone loves him, cause who doesn't love the local clueless cute boy huh? It's not even endearing when he does it either. Fuckin Mary Sue ass bitch.

So then one day, the moron- I mean most interesting boy… Yeah fuck that, I can't keep this shit up without vomiting.

The idiot almost wanders into traffic cause he was too stupid to his damn shoelaces properly. I mean this idiot makes Mikan look put together, and that's saying something.

[Hajime, stop being so mean]

[What? Not even half an hour after he wakes up and I'm already annoyed]

[Hajime, I love you dearly, but you don't have the best temper sometimes]

[The fuck are you talking about?!]

[…*sigh* nothing Hajime…]

So without any more interruptions from a certain someone, can we continue? Yes? Good.

Where was I?

Ah yes, the idiot gets ready for school like a bumbling moron, I mean, jeez alarms were invented for a reason. Like seriously, he looks like a headless chicken running around like that.

So after he finally manages to haul his clumsy ass to school, after, how many was it Nagito? Oh that's right, nine different accidents and near death experiences. Really,I wish I was joking.

School isn't any batter for the brainless twit. Just bloody spaces out half the damn time either daydreaming or staring like a love struck moron at his crush.

[Hajime, you don't happen to remember sneaking glances at me before and after asking me out, do you?]

[…Shut up.]

Gah. Anyway, so who is this crush you ask?

The biggest asshole imaginable.

The shit stains name is Byakuya Togami, and honestly? Dating an actual shit stain would be an improvement. He's mean, selfish, and rude. Thinks the world belongs to him just cause he comes from an old rich family.

[Hajime, you remember I come from an old and rich family, right?]

[Shut up! That's totally different. You're not a complete asshole unlike sir 'I'm better then you peasants' over there. ]

So anyway. This motherfucker makes Seto Kaiba look like a damn Saint. The type of rich asshole that thinks he's better then everyone else cause of his fancy family. Bet the fucker wouldn't last five minutes without his precious money.

Makoto is a complete idiot. In his class alone there's the swimmer, the gamblers not bad to look at, if not a bit scary. And he's even friends with the damn pop idol for gods sake, a bloody sappy love story if I've ever heard one.

But of course not, he has to fancy the nastiest douche on the face of the planet.

Because he's 'misunderstood'. Riiiiight… Yeah, that's the word for it. Definitely.

Misunderstood every time he calls Makoto a plebeian.

Misunderstood every time he speaks harshly towards Makoto for trying to help him.

Misunderstood every time he decides to be a complete asshole and act like he's gods gift to the world.

I mean, I almost feel sorry for Makoto here. Not really because I particularly like him, but damn he looks like a kicked puppy every time he's rejected. Makoto, buddy, you can do better.

And you think school's a safe haven for his irritating clumsiness?

Ha, nope.

Tripping down the stairs, getting lost despite going to the same school for almost a year, hell, the idiot even almost fell out a window at some point.

I mean, there's being an adorable mess (cough- definitely not Nagito- cough), and then there's this cloud-brain.

[Come on Hajime, now you're just nitpicking]

[Oh good you didn't hear that then]

[Hear what?]

[Nothing…!]

Gah, does he smile at everything?

[Hajime…]

I'm serious! Does he ever frown? Look at him, fucking rainbows and butterflies and fuckin sunshine out of his ass. You ever eat a desert that's just so overloaded with sugar you feel like throwing up? Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like watching this twat.

Just so nice, so friendly, so sickeningly perfect, it almost hurts to watch him.

Like what is this kid, the next Ghandi or something?

Gah, why are we even watching this kid anyway.

[You know why]

[… I know, doesn't mean I have to like it.]

[Oh my, what ever could suggest you didn't like being here?]

[Shut up you sarcastic twit.]

So, I mean, I guess he's going home now. Yay.

Just so everyone knows, I'm struggling to care anymore. My commentary is going to get less and less inspired as we're wrapping this up.

Whoop-de-shit, he's eating dinner in his perfectly normal house with his perfectly normal family. I mean, I guess Togami's name was mentioned somewhere in there, but hell if I care. I don't know why he's still perusing that asshole anyway.

Yeah, love is love and all that shit. Love is love is one thing, chasing after a toxic asshole who insults the very air you breathe is another. But hey, whatever makes the love struck idiot happy, I guess.

So anyway, our story finally ends when he goes up to his boring room to match his boring life. Like seriously, you couldn't even make a sit-com out of this guy's life, unless you wanted the most unexciting average tv show you've ever seen.

And he even falls asleep yawning, I swear that's a movie cliché if I've ever seen one.

So anyway…

Goodnight you bastards, I hope you had fun being here for this.

At least one of us had fun.

[Ow! Nagito, what was that for?!]

END OF CHAPTER:

So… How'd I do? I mean I tried, but I don't know how well my idea actually turned out.

Anyway… Special announcement!:

I'm starting a Komahina Kakegurui AU. Don't know what that is? It's an anime on Netflix, and I really liked it.

It'll be posted separately in my works list, but I wanted to share the news with all you guys.

Not to worry, I'll still continue my work on this series. I'm just suuuuuper revved up to write this Kakegurui AU. What I have of it so far will also be moved over to my fanfiction account, so watch out for that in my works list too.

So anyway, be on the look out for that, and in the meantime I'll be working on more chapters for you lovely readers!

Cya next chapter :)

Tairulz