Chapter 6
3:26pm
He was dreaming.
Jay knew he was. This just had to be a dream. This cannot be real. This cannot be happening. But it is.
He's not ready.
He cannot see her just yet. Apart of him was grinning from ear to ear while the other was a bundle of nerves.
He's both excited and nervous.
But why?
Driving down Interstate-90, Jay gripped the stirring wheel tighter around his fists. He's nervous because the woman at Dunkin Donuts, who coincidentally lives in the building across from Erin, had said that she hadn't seen her in last couple of days.
What if something did happened to her?
He'd never be able to forgive himself since he could've prevented it if he had tried harder to paster her in confiding in him.
He could've helped her.
3:30pm
Slamming the car door with a bang, they parked by the sidewalk of one of the many identical apartments. Apartments that had no class or sturdiness. One that looked as though it might collapse at any given second.
He's sure as hell a simple huff and puff will blow the all the apartments away.
"Are you sure this is the address the lady gave you?" Antonio enquired as he rounded to the sidewalk, standing outside the building where Erin Lindsay supposedly lives.
He was just as equally concerned to be in a sketchy neighbourhood - Fuller Park. A neighbourhood where cops aren't welcomed.
By the stout looks every single soul have been giving them in the five seconds since they got out of the vehicle, they know that they have already been made. Given that a couple of street gangs by the corner have been eyeballing them.
No one likes cops and he couldn't really blame them. Nothing good ever happens when the police are involved.
Jay glanced at his notepad in his hand then at Antonio, who was gawking back at the thugs at the corner.
1335 South Princeton Avenue
"This is the address." he confirmed. "Hey. I don't think they're that stupid to wreck an unmarked police car in broad day light."
"They're that stupid to be wearing handkerchiefs around their heads."
He chuckled. "C'mon. Let's go." Jay said as they entered one of the many identical complexes.
Block B
Apt. 4D
They both had to admit, they weren't ready to be at Fuller Park.
The woman from Dunkin Donuts had said that she hadn't seen Erin in days like she always does whenever she headed out to work in the morning. That got Jay agitated and his worry for a complete stranger quadrupled.
He brushed his hand over his left hip as they headed for the hallway to the elevator, checking to make sure his weapon hadn't been swiped. One can never really know the capabilities of the inhabitants of one of Chicago's worst neighbourhoods.
3:37pm
They stood for what seemed like forever at what supposedly was the lobby before a guy coming from the back hollered at them.
"Yo. That shit ain't working. Landlord's sleazy as fuck. He ain't spending a dime on this shit show." he said, pointing towards the stairwell.
They thanked him before heading towards the back. No wonder people were laughing at them.
The second they stepped foot into the stairwell, they were hit by the pungent odour of urine and liquor. Jay recoiled from the smell, palming both his mouth and nose tightly as he tiptoed his way up to the fourth floor. Surely and sturdily avoiding any questionable puddles.
He have seen his fair share of dilapidated apartments but he can very well say that this building was by far the worst building he've ever had the pleasure of entering.
It's definitely the worst of the worst.
It was like a carnival filled with chaos in this building. Loud music of all genre were blaring, people were shouting, doors were slamming, babies were crying.
He can never live in such environment. He needs his peace and quiet. Something this apartment doesn't have. He wonders if anyone can even sleep with such loud nuisance.
"This place's a nightmare." Jay cringed in disgust. His arms were as rigid as it can be. He dare not to touch anything.
Everything seemed to be broken. The lights, the railings, the chipped tiles on the floor and, of course, the elevator. If there was an earthquake, no one is going to make it out alive. He's sure of it.
He shouldn't have such thoughts. He absolutely doesn't want that fate for Erin.
No human should be living in this dump.
Erin shouldn't be living here.
3:45pm
He was slowly getting to know her.
In a way, he was adding information to her description, building an in depth character to what he already knows.
Erin Lindsay, a 24 year old woman with troubled past, who's now living in one of Chicago's worst neighbourhoods.
Oh and who witnessed a murder.
"Hey, man, I know you feel some sort of obligation towards her but you gotta remember what we're here for. Got it?" Antonio said before knocking on the flimsy and thin door. "I'll do the talking."
He nodded.
This was it.
His palms were clammy. His heart was pounding a million miles per second. He's nervous and he couldn't grasp the idea why.
3:47pm
Antonio knocked on the door a little harder and with his fist this time.
There was a baby screaming that sounded like it was coming from her apartment.
The door opened tentatively, the chain still locked to the door frame and her face peered out from the side.
Her face.
He definitely had the wind knock right out of his lungs at the sight before him. She looked so different from when he last saw her. Now, she looked somewhat smaller and definitely thinner. Sickly even with her pasty complexion and sunken cheeks. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. It's clear that she've been crying. Not to mention, there was a deep bruise on the corner of her left eye, along with a matching split lip.
"Erin Lindsay?"
"Who's asking?" she said, her face scrunched in confusion. He can't help but notice the split look of relief that washed over her when she saw Antonio.
Jay was somehow relieved to hear that raspy voice of hers but at the same time, deplored by how hard she tried to stop her voice her shaking.
"Chicago P.D., Detective Dawson and this is my partner." Antonio said, pulling out his badge. "We'd like to ask you a few questions about what you saw."
He left it at that and let his message sink in, letting her process. Her eyes widen a tad second after.
She looked scared.
"Sorry. I. I can't." Erin said, shaking her head as she hurried to close the door on the detectives. But he was quicker and stuck his foot out in between the space.
She can't talk to the police or be seen talking to the cops since Misha will always get the memo. He'll know. He has eyes everywhere. And even though this has nothing to do with him, he wouldn't miss a chance in doing what he did to her again.
Why was she so scared?
"Ma'am, I know it's a lot to handle but what you saw could help us take a killer off the streets."
The wailing cries continued and Jay can see that she had to physically stop herself from crumbling. He have never seen a mother as overwhelmed as her.
She really needs a break. He feels so sorry for her.
"Ok. Can we do this some other time? My son's throwing a tantrum." she exhaled a wheezy breath. The pain of that aspiration was evident on her face.
She has to keep it together. For now at least. Her conscience was overtaking all morality, scaring her with guilt. Guilt of the wrong she had inflicted towards her innocent child. She has to control her emotions. She can't spit it out even when she feels like she needs to. He'll be taken away from her and she can't handle that.
She simply can't.
"It's better that we talk when your memory's still fresh, ma'am."
Nodding, she might as well get it over with right now. Sooner or later, she still had to do it. There's no way in running from it. Also, she knows how persistent cops can be. They will never leave her alone.
Closing the door, Jay can hear the chain slid across the bolt and the door opened wide to reveal a tornado for an apartment.
Walking in was like walking in Siberia. It's colder in here than it is outside. That explains all the layers of clothing. He doesn't know how they can even survive such extreme climate. Jay can't live without his heater.
Everything was a mess.
He didn't know where to look.
At her?
She wasn't even looking at any of them.
The apartment?
There were too much of a messy to just focus on one thing.
Or the wailing child behind the playpen?
That's another information to add to her description.
Erin Lindsay, a 24 year old woman with troubled past, who's now living in one of Chicago's worst neighbourhoods with her son.
Just then, it smacked him right across the face - she could already be taken or even married.
Why was he suddenly so disappointed?
"Sorry about the mess..." she started to chuckle but it came out more as a groan and her hands flew to clutch her left side.
She still hasn't looked at him and he wondered if she'll even recognise him.
He doubt it.
3:51pm
Now that he had to whole the view in front of him, he felt a lump stuck in his throat.
Her clothes were hanging off her already small frame. Though she was wearing a jacket, it almost looked like the jacket, itself, was swallowing her up. The jacket was wearing her. Not the other way around.
With her head lowered, he was fairly certain that she was doing that to hide the splotches painted on her face. And her hand on her neck to cover the obvious thick finger marks that clearly says someone tried to strangle the life out of her.
This was way worse than he had imagined since now, there's a infant involved.
He watched as she shuffled to the still-crying child, his little arms wailing in the air. A wince escaped her lips as she reached for the baby.
Judging by the way she was walking, he can very well conclude that she had cracked a couple of ribs. So, carrying an over fifteen pound child shouldn't be on her agenda right now other than getting healed since all the heavy lifting can very likely cause a punctured lung or two.
But he understands; she's a mother. She can't just leave him to cry all day. A good mother tends to her every child's needs. She loves her son . He can see it.
An indescribable rage built up inside of him. The thought that anyone would do this despicable act to her angered him. Last time she had a bruise on her face and that, itself, had him all fired up, now he wondered what she was hiding underneath all the layers.
He don't know why but he feels responsible.
"Who did this to you, Erin?" he questioned. Realising then that he had actually said it out loud. A question that was supposed to only be expressed in his head.
He wondered if he had crossed the line.
He definitely did.
Though he wanted to reach forward to take her hand, her arm that she was cradling her son in, he knows he can't.
They don't know each other like that.
They're not friends.
They're nobody to each other.
"What? Nobody. I-" she uttered as she looked up at the other detective. He looked familiar, very familiar, but she just can't quite pinpoint where she had seen him.
A client?
That would be and could only be the viable explanation since that's the only time she would ever need to interact with men.
As they finally locked gaze, Jay can't help but notice her beautiful forest green pupils. They were glazed and filled with a deep agonising melancholy hidden underneath. He wants nothing more than to see those eyes light up and hurt whomever was terrorising her.
Antonio cleared his throat and they both snapped back to reality. Her lips curled ever so slightly in a smile.
She recognised him.
"I fell down the stairs, Mr. Detective." her voice was almost a whisper. If he hadn't actually been paying attention, he don't think he'd even hear her.
"You guys should sit." she said before clearing the pillow and blanket off the couch with her free hand. "Please."
"Thank you."
Soon enough the child began to quiet down as he buried his face into her chest. She grimace at that but doesn't move him.
"It's a little chilly in here." Antonio said, standing from the couch to sit on the arm rest, giving her a seat on the other end of the two-seater sofa while Jay scooted to the other side.
"That thing isn't working." she pointed to the furnace. "The landlord's el cheapo." she smiled as she bounced her child on her lap.
Though she wanted to crawl back into bed and cry and cry, she has to keep her sanity intact. She has to be cautious. A wrong move or word could have Noah taken away.
She's worried.
She's paranoid that she might break and spill.
"So, is it ok if we start?"
She nodded. "Yea, sure."
"We'd like to know what exactly you saw that night."
She narrowed her eyes and shrugged, "To be honest, I didn't really see much. I was just walking to get to the other side of the park cuz, you know, that's quicker. Then, all of a sudden, I heard them shouting..." she began to explain the events of that night when Noah decided that he needed all the attention to himself and started whining and batting his tiny hands at her face.
"Do you know what they were arguing about?"
"Noah, stop." she grabbed his little hands and paused for a second or two to think.
"Umm, she lied about something, I guess. They were shouting in Russian. I know a little Russian - shh, shh, shhh..."
Jay watched as she desperately tried to quiet him down. To the point where she even turned red in embarrassment. The child arched his back, pitching his palms at her face as he started an ear piercing tantrum. She pulled back and he knew that had to hurt.
Noah's mad at her. He deserves to hit her. After what she had done to him, it's only fair.
Noah hates her.
He has all the reason to. She's a bad mother.
This was why Jay do not aspire to have any children. Sure, they're cute and adorable and nice to looked at but the cold and harsh truth was, they're a living nightmare. They're needy, impractical and make one hell of a mess. Not to mention, they're ridiculously expensive too.
He really don't think he'll ever have one of his own.
"Did you get a chance to see his face?" Jay asked.
She huffed when he slapped her chest, "Sorry." she apologised before standing up to rock him in her arms.
He definitely have a new found respect for all moms.
"No. It was dark and I was a few feet away and..." Erin stopped, closing her eyes as she does. She can't take him anymore.
Noah had to stop relentlessness at some point, right?
'Fake it till you make.'
That motto definitely does not apply to her. Though she've tried, she just can't keep pretending that she's fine.
"May I?" Antonio said, reaching for Noah. It was evident that she already has a lot on her plate with whatever was happening in her life and a clingy child wasn't make it any easier for her.
She steadied her gaze at the shorter detective, studying him, and tighten her hold on her son. Never have she ever had anyone but Annie and Maya hold Noah. He've always only been surrounded by female. She don't think a man has ever held him.
Jay smiled. He knew Antonio wouldn't be able to resist kids. This was bound to happen.
She hesitantly gave her baby to him. She don't know why but doing just that killed her. It hurts her.
She's crazy and bipolar with her want for holding her so. One minute she wants him, one minute she doesn't.
She was now the one whose aching for comfort.
"Sorry." she sighed, slowly lowering herself onto the sofa beside Jay. Never really leaving her gaze off her son who magically seemed to forget all his tears.
4:03pm
They were close. Their knees were almost touching and Jay can feel his heart in his throat at their mere proximity. "He didn't let us sleep at all last night." she said, running her hands gently over her face.
Us?
Jay had to admit, he have never heard a baby cry as much as he had. With his lack of experience, he sure isn't one to say.
"Ay mano!" Antonio cooed and lifted him up in the air and he squealed happily. Erin can't help but freak out at what the detective was doing. But when he began giggling and showed off his two front teeth, she smiled and relaxed. It has been so long since she've even heard hislaugh.
"¿Por qué estás llorando? Mira a tu bonita mamá, está tan cansada. Dale un descanso. ¿Ok, mano?"
She smiled.
"How old is he?" the detective next to her questioned.
"Eleven months."
"He's really cute." Jay said as he turned around to shake his soft and smooth hands and pinch his chubby cheeks.
Babies really do have the softest skin.
She smiled, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear, "Thank you."
Though Erin was as frail as a twig, he's glad to see that that wasn't the case for the eleven month old, her son. While she probably wasn't feeding herself, he don't actually know that for certain, but at least she was providing nutrients for her ever growing child.
"He looks just like you." Antonio added as he sat back down on the couch with Noah's back to his chest. She let him stay there since he seemed to be much happier and that was all she really wanted. For him to be happy.
Looking over incredulously at her son who was sitting quietly with the detective and snuggling against his chest, slowly dozing off, she watched in awe. Erin wasn't one to believe it magic but now she does.
He's a baby whisperer.
She smiled thinly. She thinks otherwise. While everyone who've ever seen them together agreed with that statement, she never saw what they saw. She only see him in Noah. She knows she shouldn't be thinking this way but sometimes, she simply can't help it.
Maybe that was what he needed. A man, a father figure in his life to raise him to be the strong man he's meant to be since she's the only 'father' he've ever known and seen all his eleven months of life. She's playing both the parent.
Bunny and Misha had only ever seen him twice and in both occasions, they barely even glanced at him. It didn't matter to her since it wasn't like she had any expectations. She didn't even want their filthy hands on her child.
"What did you do, Tony?" Jay laughed.
Antonio shrugged, "What can I say? Babies love me."
She smiled.
She should smile more. She looks breathtaking when she does.
"So, where were we, Mr. Detective?" she cocked her head to one side and smiled. He has the most calming shades of blue irises.
Something about him relaxes her.
Something about those eyes told her that she's safe.
Something about him made her smile the she hadn't in years.
"Right." he said and pulled out his phone, "Have you ever seen this woman?" he said, handing her his phone.
She took the phone and as she did, the sleeve of her jacket rise ever so slightly to reveal a large dark purple bruise that rounded the entire circumstance of her wrist.
Just like that, everything changed in him. He was once again enraged.
"Umm, no...Is she...?"
He nodded, "Her name was Emily Kmetko. Does that name ring a bell?"
"No."
"What about our guy? I know you said it was dark but maybe you could give us an estimate on his height, weight, anything really..."
She shrugged, "Yeah. I guess, over six feet. 6'1''-ish, I don't know. Umm, he's big...like muscles big...Since I heard his voice, I think I can recognise it if I heard it again."
Noah yawned sleepily as he rubbed his eyes with his little fists.
He's a beautiful child. He definitely gets his looks from his mother.
"Ok, lil man's fast asleep." Antonio said as he transferred Noah back into his mother's arms. It's been a long time since he've held a baby and he absolutely missed it.
"Thank you, detective." she smiled and placed a kiss on Noah's forehead, inhaling his sweet scent. Instantly she was comforted.
An irk have been bothering Jay ever since he walked into Erin's apartment. He can't ignore the fact the she's all banged up. Antonio may see past the bruises on her face but it was all he could actually stare at.
She's limping. She's crouching. She's practically whispering because whatever she does, it hurts like hell.
He's angry. He wants to do something. He needs to help her.
But how?
As long as this 'man', whomever he may be, was here, this child and his mother aren't safe.
Erin and Noah aren't safe.
4:17pm
Looking around apartment, there was nothing homie about the space. There were no curtains; just blinds. No frames or pictures to showcase the Lindsay family. Not even a picture of Noah.
Everything looked so dull and lifeless. Something wasn't right,' he can just feel it.
"What were you doing at Garfield Park so late at night?" he questioned out of the blue.
Narrowing her eyes, she felt herself hesitate, scrambling to find an answer. She can't just tell him that she was working the streets. It's illegal. Prostitution is illegal. Beside, what she does is an embarrassment. "Is it a crime to be at a public park?" she defended herself.
"No. Of course not." he said, ignoring the nudge to his back from Antonio to chose his next words carefully.
"How did you get those bruises, Ms. Lindsay?"
The young woman blinked a couple of times and looked at them as if noticing them for the first time. She rubbed the bruise on her wrist absentmindedly.
He was starting to get under her nerves with his perpetual questions, pretending to actually care for them. They were just his next project to fantasise shout.
He doesn't care.
No one does.
"They're nothing, detective. I'm fine. Like I said I fell down the stairs."
He knows that was bullshit. Falling down the stairs doesn't leave oneself with think finger marks around the neck.
The next words and sentences that came out of his mouth was one of regret. Sometimes he really doesn't have a filter. He should really think before he speaks.
"Ms. Lindsay, you're putting your son's life at risk by continuing to expose him to hostile environments. I mean no wonder he's uncomfortable here, in his own home."
Yap. He's a jerk. The second that vomited out of his mouth, he wished he could take it back.
She's livid.
"Excuse me." she scuffled. Rising from her seat, she crossed her arms and looked down at him. He had the audacity to say that Noah isn't happy with her, that she'd purposefully endanger her son. "My son's perfectly comfortable with me. Ok? With me." she seethed, pointing at herself.
He can practically see the smoke coming out of her ear and nose.
"I'm his mother...And whatever happens in our lives has nothing to do with you, detective."
"It does when a defenceless child's life's in danger."
She tried her hardest to not shout and go off at this idiot for the sake of Noah but that task was proven difficult for her when he simply wouldn't stop bickering.
"I can assure you Noah's not in any danger. I'm a good mother. I'd never hurt him or let anyone put their hands on my son. I make sure of that. I'm a good mother..." her voice cracked.
Who was she trying to convince?
"I'm not saying that you aren't. I'm sure you're an excellent mother and I know you love your son. He may not be in danger but his mother is. How are you supposed to protect him when you're hurt? You may be fooling yourself with his words but if a man puts his hands on you that doesn't mean he loves you." Jay stood from the couch and look her in the eyes. It was clear that she was controlling her anger with every clench of her jaws and fists.
He got it all wrong. There is no man. She has no boyfriend or husband that loves her.
She stared at him, silent for a long moment. "You don't even know what you're talking about."
He really doesn't.
"Enlighten me then. Let us protect you. We can protect you, Erin. You can trust us. Just give us his name."
She snickered. From past experiences, cops can never be trusted.
What the fuck was happening?
She has absolutely no idea. From discussing about the murder she witnessed to talking about nonsense.
"Jesse." Antonio warned.
He knows it's none of his business.
"I fell down the stairs." she repeated. With her nose flaring and eye bags that showed nothing but exhaustion, she blinked the impending tears. One after the other, the tears wouldn't stop. And Jay knew he's an asshole.
Sighing, he knows she's not going to say anything. She's not going to give him up.
Why was she protecting him?
"The police have the authority to remove a child if he or she suspects mistreatment, neglect or abuse -"
"Halstead! That's enough." Antonio stepped forward.
She burst into tears and collapsed onto the couch, her hands wrapped around Noah protectively. "You can't. Don't. I didn't do anything. You can't take him away from me! He's mine..."
What have he done?
He just wanted to help but ended up creating a whole other problem.
He can sometimes be an asshole.
He never should've opened his mouth.
"I'm so sorry, Ms. Lindsay. My associate doesn't know what he's talking about. We're not going to take Noah away. I promise." he said before giving Jay a death stare.
Of course, he doesn't know what it's like to be threatened in that nature. He doesn't have a child. All he has to do was think of himself. He doesn't get it that he can't just throw that aspersion around when he didn't get his way.
Jay's taking this case too personal.
No. He couldn't care less about the case. He's taking her too personal.
He likes her. Of course he does.
4:24pm
He doesn't know if he ought to tell Voight to take him off the case. His judgment is too clouded.
"Just leave. Please. I don't ever want to see your face again."
She was looking directly at him.
4:27pm
Just as they were about to open the door to the stairwell, Antonio tugged Jay by the arm. "What the fuck's wrong with you, Halstead?!"
He looked pissed.
"You don't just threaten a mother like that! You just can't!" he shouted. It's unethical.
Jay held his hands up in surrender, "Well, sorry for wanting to catch the bastard who's been using her as a punching bag. I don't know about you man but have you seen her face? Or the way she's limping? I just wanted to help! She has a kid!"
Antonio wasn't blind and unlike Jay, he mind his own business. If she did wanted their help, if she was really desperate of their assistance, she wouldn't spilled the beans the first time he had asked her.
"You got a twisted way of helping her. I know you mean well, Halstead. But not everyone can be saved. And Erin Lindsay's not one of them."
4:26pm
It was when she heard those doors closed that she let out her deepest pain. Biting her flesh of her skin, she dared herself not to scream out loud. Her heart was broken again.
She stupidly trusted him. The guy, the cop, she had bumped into a few weeks ago. He was different - nice and caring - or so she thought he was. With his kind eyes and words, she had thought he was ever giving. She yet again fell into a man's spell.
How naïve can she be?
She should've known. She've been down this road before. All men are the same, he's no different than Misha. Domination was what men wanted and with her insecurities and timidity, it was easy for her to grant them just that.
It's all her fault.
That was all her doing, she trusts too easy.
Tears prickled at all corners of her eyes, clouding her vision and gasping for air, she stumbled into her bedroom with Noah sleeping soundly against her shoulder.
Who threatens to take a child away from it's mother?
Something hit close to her aching heart when he said that to her. It was probably the truths to his statement. Maybe he should take Noah away from her, especially for what she've just done to him.
She doesn't deserve a sweet by like him.
Noah deserves a mother who's sane and who can look after herself. And that's not her. She can barely even take care of herself. Just look at her, she barely eats. She barely sleeps. She's barely functioning. She've turned into everything she never wanted to become.
She've turned into Bunny.
Her mother.
Erin's ribcage constricted, she suddenly cannot get a deep breath in. The process of breathing was one agonising one and she cried out loud when her lungs felt like they were on fire.
Her stomach flipped at the ripples of pain cascading and shooting off the walls of her bruised torso, she felt as though she might pass out at any given second. So, she lay Noah gently on her bed before her knees could buckled.
Her entire world was spinning, assaulting her with disgusting images of her hands on Noah's tiny face, of Misha on top of her, of Jay Halstead threatening her.
He really did hurt her.
Why was he having an affect on her?
She has to end this. She has to end all the hurt that she's in. It's too painful to be carrying around the guilt and shame on a daily basis. She've tried and it just took a toll on her.
Reaching into her nightstand, she pulled the drawer and dug out what she've been craving for days now. Though she swore to Annie that she hadn't got any left, she lied, she always has one stashed away for emergencies and today definitely was an emergency.
Her legs gave out and she collapsed against the bed. Curling up into a ball on the linoleum, her head was spinning. She's wheezing, choking on air. She needed to get away from reality and that white powder could give her just that. Numb. That was what she wanted. She doesn't want to feel anymore.
Grabbing her lighter, she pondered into the bathroom, locking the door. She can't expose Noah to the toxic fumes.
That makes her a good mother, right?
She's protecting him.
She really just wants to be the best.
Taking in shaky, wheezy breaths as tears continued to slide down her sullen cheeks, she tightened the band around her forearm with her teeth, cooking the powder, tapping the syringe to get rid of any air bubbles before actually shooting the cocaine up her vein.
Truth be told, she never really enjoyed stabbing herself with a needle even when that gave her an instant high like none other. She never excelled at pocking herself with a needle. Hence, she simply snorted them since the sight of blood everywhere was never a sight she liked to see.
She sighed and laid back on the cold tiles, trembling, as a surge of rush hit her like a bolt of lightning.
That instant high. She craved it and she's finally not feeling.
She can't feel anymore.
She feels amazing.
She's flying.
She's on top of the world, on cloud nine.
She feels good. Like she've actually accomplished something.
She smiled, she's finally happy.
She had to make herself forget the fact that she had tried to smother her son.
. . .
"Trust is a difficult thing. Whether it's finding the right people to trust or trusting the right people will do the wrong thing. But trusting your heart is the riskiest thing of all. In the end, the only person we can truly trust is ourself." - Emily Thorne
Hey there! Thanks so much for reading! A little shameless self-promo...could you please read my other story if it isn't a hassle, it's called Chicago P.D.'s Linstead / One Shots & Short Stories. Let me know what you think on that! Thanks!