Chapter 8
9:04am
No one had ever told her how difficult it would be to watch your child get poked with needles. Nobody.
Needles after needles. He had to get struck thrice. Two for the much needed vaccines and one for a blood draw. It was terrible. She swore he was the loudest baby and was certain that all the other mothers were cursing at her. But she couldn't care less about them because, just like their baby, hers was scared.
Even though this wasn't the first time that Noah got poked and prodded and even though this wasn't the first time she watched him get poked and prodded, it still felt like the first. Like when he was first born on that early March morning. He was on a ventilator and covered in tubes and plasters and was given shots of steroids for his lungs to develop. All she felt then was guilt. She was at fault. It was her doing that he came three months too early. If only she hadn't listened to her mother - till this day, she hasn't got a clue why she allows Bunny to get to her - to work that night, he wouldn't have been here at twenty seven weeks, weighing a mere two pounds.
She was working that night because Bunny got her clients who has a thing for pregnant women, much like herself, and were willing to pay her a thousand dollars. But ultimately, it was her fault for allowing Bunny to talk her into it in the first place.
No one had ever told her the agony she has to endure at watching the seething process while being absolutely helpless in it all. Nobody.
It's thin and relatively small and surely wouldn't feel anything to her - a mastered associate in the art of poking - but Noah, he's just a baby, an infant. It has to be painful and terrifying for him. Even now, at just the thought of a needle going through his unmarred skin brought tears to her eyes.
No one had ever told her that the more or less two minute procedure, which were just mainly tears, would be much more traumatic for her. Nobody.
Because once it was over and once Noah held out both of his small hands, whimpering for her, and once she gathered him into her arms, feeling a powerful rush of protectiveness - motherhood is instinct for the most part - he was fine while she was left to face the wrath of reality and was speechless as she walked out of the clinic.
Difficult.
She've had a difficult morning to say the least.
9:32am
Sighing, it's barely even halfway through the day and she's already spent. She glanced down at Noah who was now fluttering his eyes close as he sucked on a pacifier.
Thank goodness he was been given a clean bill of health and she was relieved when Dr. Montgomery said that his asthma hadn't progressed. Truth be told, she was actually leaning more towards the fact that it had because lately, he's been having quite the trouble breathing.
He was given a shot to each leg which seriously pissed him off and his tiny chest still heaved with the occasional sob.
This appointment wasn't like the others though. He didn't cry from the very beginning like he always would when they step foot into the cold clinic. It was like he knew where they were, he could sense it, and was over screaming about it, and she most definitely wasn't complaining about that. He also didn't cry when she had to take his clothes off and lay him on the cold scale to get weighed and measured.
And in this particular visit, his cries were somewhat different. Not a needy cry or a cry of pain but anger instead.
He was angry at her.
Her baby was angry at her. Angry. She still can't get over that fact.
She remembered his big pale blue eyes looking straight into her when he realised he was about to get stabbed with a needle, bursting into tears then.
The look he was giving her, she had deciphered the message, feeling guilty.
Why are you letting this happen to me again?
She had held his tiny flailing arms to his side like the doctor had instructed and had put a pacifier into his mouth but he spat it out and continued wailing.
"I'm sorry, Noah, ok. You'll feel better in 3, 2 -" and when his familiar blue eyes widen - just as shocked as she was that the doctor didn't follow through the countdown - and not a millisecond later that he screamed even louder, she was relieved when they could finally leave.
"I'm sorry baby. But mommy's only doing what's best for you." she whispered into his shampooed hair, holding him tighter around the sling as she got off the bus.
One might think, with her history, that she ought to have no issue with needles and she normally doesn't. She has absolute no problems watching other people get struck or even poke at herself and she have numerous times, but she just can't stand it when it's her son.
9:57am
Two and a half weeks.
She've been drug and alcohol free for over two weeks now and she just hopes and prays that she doesn't fall back to old ways because she certainly has in the past.
Two and a half weeks may be the longest she's sober.
Well, other than the seven months minus the four months she didn't know she was pregnant and the three months after Noah was born, making that six months, two and a half weeks may very well be the longest she've ever stayed clean since she started at age sixteen.
Two and a half weeks may seem nothing for some people but this two and a half weeks felt like an eternity. Time was passing much slower than she's normally used to and the first week of detox was torturous. She had felt like a bus had ran over her ten times. Then, was pushed off a cliff, surviving the aftermath.
It was torturous.
But in the end, it all worked out for the better because now, she's really clean. She feels clean too. Just like Annie, she ought to treat her body like a temple.
Thank you, Annie!
She doesn't know what she'd do without her Annie. She's literally a lifesaver and Erin has always taken her for granted, but not anymore since she knows she's godsend. Sticking by her side when she knows others would have run a very long time ago.
It sometimes boggles her as to Annie's true intentions. It's not that she doesn't trust her or anything, in fact, she trusts her with her life, it's more like why is she helping her?
They aren't friends for years. They just met ten months ago.
Why is she still sticking around?
Why is she continuing to keep up with her bullshit?
She never really had a friend. Annie's her first.
Pushing the doors to the lobby at her building, she turned left for the ammonia reeking stairwell since the crappy elevator was still crappy because their crappy landlord isn't one to spend a dime in this building.
Speaking of dimes, she really has to go back to work. She can't keep allowing Annie to pay her bills. Bunny had called her the other day, asking if she was well enough to start working again. It was probably Misha putting her to the task because in reality Bunny wouldn't give a damn. She didn't give a damn that Misha had almost killed her. Again.
She hates him.
No, she doesn't. She knows she doesn't.
Even with what he had done to her for years and years and she knows she should hate him and she did for a long time, but somehow, at the end of the day and considering their past and no matter how many times she insisted she hates the man, she can't deny what's really in her heart.
Is that sick of her?
Probably.
Obviously she said no to her mother because her ribs were still aching and was still in no shape to twirl around a pole. Besides Misha terrifies her - he can hurt her whenever he pleases - she ought to mentally prepare herself before going back to Double Dzz.
He had hurt her because he thought she was talking to the cops about his business, which she hadn't. And wouldn't. And couldn't do that to him.
Does he even care about her like she cares about him?
All she ever wanted was a dad. A father's love and she found it in the wrong place and by the wrong person.
10:11am
Right now, she had her hands on her knees, panting at the landing on her floor. She's already winded by just climbing up four stories and don't think she likes doing all this, with bad ribs and an infant strapped to her chest. She've never been one for a workout.
Not the traditional way that is.
She've never been the healthiest of people. Definitely never. As a child the only vegetables she had ever had were when they were doused in cheese. Broccoli and cheese was her utmost favourite. And when they were dehydrated in a bag of Ramen. And especially not now when her diet had only been consisting of cigarettes, vodka, sodas, drugs and the only solid that she can consume was toast.
A recipe for death.
She didn't even realise how spindly and small she looked until her third day of detox when she almost sneaked out of her apartment to go get a fix. And Annie had shoved a mirror to her face instead.
Grey, ageing skin.
Dark circles.
Sullen cheeks.
Twig like arms and legs.
In other words, she looked sickly. Someone who's way older than their years. Someone who isn't a twenty four year old.
How can she be Double Dzz number one stripper, looking so ugly?
How can men enjoy sleeping with a bag of bones?
Squinting and straining her eyes under the dim twinkling fluorescent lights, she saw as people by her door.
Apt 4D.
Her heart slowed in her chest, faint, and Noah began squirming as she wearily approached her door, towards the end of the hall.
She'd recognise that profile anywhere.
Him.
She hadn't seen him since the day he threatened her and she knows for a fact that he've been stopping by almost everyday since. Apologising. Annie has had it with him, annoyed.
"Excuse me!" she shouted in a whisper, cupping Noah's head closer to her chest, rocking him gently so he'd stop fidgeting. Feeling their rhythms match as she too lulled herself.
Calm.
She has to be.
He turned around at her voice and she saw a shadowy recognition as his brows knitted at her and lips gaped, seemingly wanting to say something.
Was he surprised to see her?
What does he expect?
This is her building.
She lives here.
"Excuse me, detective. What the hell are you doing at my door?" she said in the lowest possible of voice, not wanting to wake her sleeping baby. She peered to the side to see the landlord looking anything but happy. "What the hell is he doing here? What did tell him?" she accused.
Ugh!
He's here to ruin her life. Again. He's getting the landlord involved for god knows what. He's getting her kicked out.
Why else would the landlord be here?
That smile - a smile that she would have reciprocated if she wasn't so mad at him, a smile that she would have returned if she didn't loathe him so much, a smile that would have warmed her insides if he hadn't already shown her his true intentions - broke out on his chiselled features and she continued to glare tiredly at him, looking anything but calm.
"Good morning to you too, Miss Lindsay." he whispered, glancing down at Noah, "The landlord has something to say to you. Go on, Mr. Ramirez, tell the pretty lady what you're here for."
Pretty lady?
Where'd he get the permission to call her that?
"I'm here to fix your heater." he said, bored, like he really doesn't want to be here, let alone say that.
"For free." he quickly added when the detective gave him a nudge.
Free.
Now that's unheard of, especially when the F-word came out of the landlord's mouth.
Free.
This detective had either promised him something or had threatened him with something. She wasn't too sure but was kind of certain it was the latter since he looks pissed.
Jay's now looking directly at her.
"I don't need your help, detective." she immediately said and a look of hurt and surprise crossed him face.
10:23am
Right now, at this very second, it's the first time she noticed how blue his eyes are. It's not Noah's shade of blue, it's darker, almost as comparable to the ocean.
The landlord chuckled, "Ok, so, pretty lady, doesn't need my help. So, I guess my work's done here." He was about to walk away but Jay pulled him right back, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, "Not so fast, Mr. Ramirez." he said before redirecting his attention back to her.
Erin.
Where should he start?
Let's with the fact that she looks better. So much better.
She also looks different.
Very very different from when he last saw her. And a very very good different he must say and a smile crept up on his face again.
Why is he smiling?
The bruises on her face have almost faded but an outline around her eye can still be seen. Faint. But it's still there. Healing. And he also knows, from the way she's hunched over, her ribs still hurt.
She looks clearer, her eyes aren't glazed anymore and most of all, she doesn't look so miserable.
Last he saw her, she was pretty much a wreck, a walking sack of misery. Someone had beaten her so badly, she looked terrified and was in tremendous pain. And so did her son with his constant crying, like he can sense his mother's agony, but now he's fast asleep.
"C'mon, Erin." he took a step forward, reaching out to touch her shoulders but she flinched when he raised his hands.
She must still be terrified by whomever who'd tormented her.
She doesn't know why she did that.
Staring, shocked, he apologised, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." and quickly dropped his arms to his side. "Just Erin, accept this, ok. Plea-"
Squaring her shoulders and shaking her head, "Leave me alone, Jay." She remembered his name. Attempting to push past him to her flimsy door, "I said I don't need your help."
"You didn't, that little friend of yours did."
She bit her lower lip, suppressing the urge to smile when he mocked Annie's height, holding his hand up to his waist.
Her dimples.
She has the most magnificent smile he's ever seen.
Pursing her lips, Annie wouldn't be pleased at the nickname he's given her.
Little friend.
Smoothing her son's curls that matches hers, she sighed, giving in to his request. She should anyway. They've all been catching colds since the beginning of winter. And she doesn't want Noah getting sick anymore.
"Fine."
8:50pm
That small, fierce and feisty woman from yesterday opened the door again.
Where's Erin?
How come she doesn't open her own door?
And he's now, just like yesterday, face- to-face with her big hazel brown eyes.
It almost felt like déjà vu, like his encounter with her yesterday, but the only difference this time was that a crying Noah was attached to her hip.
Teary eyes, she sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
She's sick, he noted.
Of course she is. It like Siberia in there. He doesn't know how they do it, live in there since he, himself, cannot live without his heater.
One time, his heater malfunctioned in the middle of winter, and immediately after realising, he checked himself into a hotel until the heater was fixed.
Well, no wonder this little friend is wearing a scarf.
But why isn't anyone complaining to the landlord?
Maybe they have and he'd not listening.
Maybe all he needs is just a little persuasion.
Wait, who's this little friend anyway?
Her sister.
Her friend.
Her neighbour.
8:52pm
"Yea? You gonna say something or continue gawking at me?" she said hastily. Her voice nasally.
"Umm, I don't know if you-"
"Yeah. Yeah. I know who you are, Mister." she waved him off, "Erin's still sleeping. I don't know if you can't tell but we're coming down with the flu. I'll give her the message once she's awake."
But it's been almost twenty four hours since he had stopped by, she can't possibly still be sleeping.
He opened his mouth to say something but as he was about to, he was cut off by her childlike voice. "Don't worry. I remember. You're extremely sorry. Sincerely. Really sorry. I got it."
His exact words.
"Thank you." he nodded, glancing at the wailing toddler who's now arching his back and pulling at her hair for attention.
"Noah, stop!" she yelped in pain, holding his wrist to stop him before pulling his tiny fists out of her hair.
Standing there, he's not quite sure what to do.
The baby.
He's adorable and beautiful and all. He looks just like his mother, except for the eyes. He most obviously got them from his father.
Distinctive and light.
But the only problem he's got is the fact that he's one a clingy baby.
He and whiny babies definitely don't ever go hand-in-hand. He's now more or less doing the same thing he did to his mother yesterday.
He's not having any children any time soon.
They're small and cute but they're expensive and cause so much stress and problems.
He's already got enough of those as there is.
"Umm, ok then. I hope you're feeling better real soon." he mumbled.
"Wait!" she called out as he turned around. Her big cartoonish eyes narrowed at him, "How do you know Erin anyway ?"
How does he know Erin?
He's a detective investigating the murder she witnessed. But he knows how squeamish people are at the word 'police', especially in this neighbourhood, so he refrained from using that term.
"We're...friends."
He hopes they'll one day be.
8:48pm
On his fourth and last visit, her small stature came to view once again, opening the door with an exasperated huff. Rolling her eyes, she swung the door wide enough for him to look inside the neatly presented home.
This time, no one's crying and he sighed in relief.
Noah's now glued to the television by the foot of the couch, watching what he assumed were cartoons.
The little friends kissed her teeth as she looked at him up and down; unimpressed. It was like she knew that he was coming, that it was him at the door.
"What do you want now, Mister?" she said propping a hand on her tapered hip. "This is like the fourth time you stopped by. I already told Erin and she doesn't want to see you or talk to you or hear what you have to say, ok. I don't know what you did but if I were you I'd stop wasting my time."
Her words curdled in his stomach.
What does he have to do to make up for his stupidity?
"Ok." he nodded. He got it. He understood. If he was Erin, he too would feel the same. After all, he really was a jerk for threatening to take her child away from her.
"I get it." he said with a thin smile, "The last time you guys were sick so, I thought maybe you'd want some food...you know." he awkwardly held the bag he was holding out to her.
8:51pm
The other time he stopped by there were crying and shouting and cursing. All on Erin's part. He can clearly hear her. It was her very distinctive raspy voice.
The little friend was in a hurry and had practically shoved him out of the doorway, screaming at him to never come back.
You again?
Can't you take a hint?
Maybe he shouldn't be so persistent anymore.
Wait, what's he actually doing?
He can't move forward if Erin doesn't forgive him.
But why does he care?
He shouldn't. She's just a case.
And now, the little friend was doing something with her brows again, that made him fearful for what she's going to say next because her words, for the past visits, have all stung like venom.
She may look innocent and quiet and cute with her big round eyes but she's loud and very very forthcoming.
He had to learn that the hard way.
Her words hurt like punches.
"Thank you." she smiled for the first time in all their encounters and willing took the bag, "That's really kind of you...Jay."
He nodded. "It's no problem."
"Jay, can I ask you something?" she leaned on the door, tucking her brown hair behind her ear, crossing her arm.
"Yea, sure."
But he doesn't really want to hear what she has to say.
"Not to be rude or anything but don't you have a life? A girlfriend maybe?"
He just lightly shook his head, running a hand through the back of his head.
Here it goes again with her venomous words.
Truth be told, he ought to stop stopping by. He don't even know them or her.
"If you don't, please go get yourself one, two, three, ten, I don't really care how many. I really don't. And you seem like a decent guy, nice looking too, so I don't see why there isn't a lady in your life to keep you busy...Erin's perfectly happy with me and Noah. So, just stop dropping by, ok. Goodbye, Jay." she said before closing the door.
Something about what she said irked him. Erin's perfectly happy with me...There was a faint sense of animosity towards him. Her whole stance screamed hostility and bitterness.
Like she was jealous.
10:49am
She doesn't know what had gotten into her, agreeing to coffee with him.
Hey, umm, since Ramirez is going to be here for a while why don't we go get some coffee?
With a hesitant stammer, she was reluctant at first. She don't even know the guy. But then again, she goes full out with strangers for a living. So, having an innocent coffee with this particular stranger wouldn't be too bad.
Ok.
It's just coffee.
He seems decent enough to hang out with for a little while.
Tossing a few more of Noah's formula and diapers into the diaper bag, she told the landlord to lock the door when he's done. He sneakered, rudely waving her off. And Jay said something to him, something she couldn't quite make it.
A threat maybe since that's what he's excellent at.
He had taken her to a nice, cozy little café that she could, if she could afford the overpriced coffee, see herself going back to. In other words, she's never ever ever going back there.
The latte she had, the cheapest on the menu since she doesn't believe in paying twenty dollars for a cup of coffee, was good and the gigantic cranberry-lemon muffin had left her wanting more, though she had restrained herself enough to share it with Noah for later for when he's awake.
Thank goodness he's still sleeping. God only knows how cranky he gets when he's woken up. He'll most definitely create a scene if he were to wake up right now.
She loves her son but she hates it when he throws a fit anywhere and everywhere. He's a baby, that's what babies do. But people don't understand that. They give him and her nasty looks. It's like he always finds the utmost prime time to embarrass her. Like in a supermarket, in a restaurant, in the middle of a very packed bus. That might just have to be the worst experience she's ever had. He was so loud and disruptive that she had to alight and calm him down before getting on another bus.
She glanced at him from the sling, still asleep. If only he'll sleep through the night like this, it'll be an amazing gift.
All the shots from this morning must have been draining.
The crying had tired him out.
11:10am
They had wandered about a little bit and she was grateful when he had offered to carry the not-so-light diaper bag since it was really starting to strain her shoulders.
As they walked together, making small talk as they go, she can't help but wonder if people thought they were a couple.
Keeping her distance from him didn't even prove a point because not one but two passerby have nonchalantly praised them for 'looking like a beautiful family' as they so eloquently phrased it.
Aren't they beautiful, Joe!
How precious!
You two look like The Couple!
She was mortified and from the expression he wore, he too was flabbergasted.
It was awkward to say the least.
11:27pm
They had really just made small talk. The bare minimum, really. After the awkwardness, her mind went blank. Besides she don't ever really make small talk like this. Especially not to her clients. Most of the time, if not every single time, she and her clients would go straight to business.
A routine. She'd go in. They'd greet each other. He or she or both would voice out their preferences. An hour or so later, he or she or both would slap a bill or two onto the counter. Then, she'll leave. Sometimes never seeing them ever again.
A routine.
But this, Jay, he's not her client. He's not some loser who'll pay her for sex. He's not someone with a weird fetish. He's just a normal guy. A very normal person.
Normal.
He had just told her that he have been a detective for an Intelligence Unit - she thinks that's what it's called - for over a year now. And before that he worked Vice. And even before that he was in the Army Ranger. Speechless, she was intrigued and impressed, nonetheless. He's actually quite fascinating. Awestruck. Brave and strong to have fought for their country and she can very well admit that she's starting to hate him a little less now.
Just a tiny bit less.
He would point things out here and there as they walked. Maybe to kill time and definitely to void all the silence and pauses in between.
A bakery that he said had really great bread.
A vegan restaurant that would make carnivores drool with jealousy.
A gym that had spin classes - but $32 a pop.
He had pointed down a street that he said had a comic book shop and he was friends with the owner.
They had even gone into a small bookshop that he had said was good. And recommended. She don't read - no - more like hadn't read a book since dropping out of high school. And of course she didn't advertise that flaw of hers to him. She doesn't want him thinking that she's stupid. In fact, she don't think she's all that stupid - but she's most definitely stupid for dropping out of high school - because she used to get 'A' in English and English Literature.
Those were her favourite subjects.
Browsing a bit and thinking of a gift for Noah's first birthday, she pulled out some picture books off the shelf, and scanned through the colourful pictures, knowing full well that Noah would love them, while Jay chatted with the clerk, who he seemed to know.
He was actually genuinely friendly; friendlier with people than she would've expected and not nearly as serious. Though he was awkward - probably because she sometimes wasn't making any eye contact and have been fidgeting with her hands - and some of the things that came out of his mouth ranged from what she thought was likely sarcastic, though she felt she was sometimes missing the reference, to downright quirky, where she again thought she was likely also missing the reference, she enjoyed his company.
For the first time in forever, she felt normal.
12:06pm
They eventually ended up in the park and now sat on the grass of the small ridge, looking at the river and watching dog-walkers and joggers go by along the boardwalk. It's a Sunday where families and friends go out to enjoy their day and it seems like that's what they're doing.
Noah had finally woken up and had run around for a little while.
Jay had played with him - holding out his hands to encourage him to get to him and snipping him around when he did. Noah thought it was hilarious and would crawl after him - reaching out to tag Jay's hand and then get scooped into the air.
She wasn't used to other people playing or interacting with her son. It's always just the both of them and Annie. And in fact, Noah has purely been around oestrogen. No males since he was born. Other than Misha once or twice for a bare two minutes but that doesn't count.
Noah seemed to be enjoying himself and she kind of sadly figured it was something the boy had been wanting and needing.
She's now left to wonder what she'll say when he's old enough to understand and asks about his father. She certainly can't say she's the immaculate conception.
Jay was pulling at the grass at his feet, his knees pulled up in front of him. Transparent, she can see that he was thinking about something. She wasn't sure how long they had been sitting in silence.
"So, is this what your weekends usually look like?" she finally asked, sensing he'd be more comfortable if there was some type of conversation happening. "You know other than chasing after bad guys."
He chuckled and adjusted his legs, leaning back onto his hands. "Not really. No. Just on some special occasions like today. It depends on work, actually. Sundays, I usually sleep in. Then, I'd go to the gym." he pointed down the park, "But, yeah, I like to walk. Book store, coffee, friends. That kind of thing. Sometimes I'd hang with my brother."
"Oh, you have a brother."
He nodded. "Yeah. He's a doctor. Plastic surgeon."
"Wow. Plastic surgeon!" she said, even more taken aback. "That's so cool."
Maybe he could give her lip enhancers on the friends-only discount.
He smirked and dropped his eyes a bit. "Yeah. So cool, right." It was quiet again for a moment. "What about you? Any siblings?"
She shook her head, thinking about Teddy. She hadn't seen him since the morning Bunny told her that his father came to take him back to New York. "Ah, no. It was just me."
She didn't want to waste time explaining her life story, so she lied.
He just nodded. She was sure he felt a little awkward by her response but it was a casual question. She didn't fault him. It wouldn't have been much of a big deal for a normal person from a normal family. But she didn't really feel like she had ever fit that description.
"What about Noah's dad?" he nodded towards her again sleeping son.
Noah's dad.
Hmm...
She've always been afraid of being asked that question. Noah's dad. Even Annie doesn't know who his dad is, believing her when she said that it's some random guy she had slept with, that she doesn't even know, that it was one of her clients.
She just shook her head again and this time it was her turn to pull at the grass.
"Forget I asked. Sorry." he looked so regretful that he even dared to ask her that.
She wants to forget but now that he'd brought back those memories, she can't stop thinking about him.
"It's ok." she mumbled. But she doesn't want to tell him. She doesn't want him to be repulsed by her. She doesn't want to tell anyone actually. Not even Noah.
It's too embarrassing.
12:45pm
And then they were silent again. He can see the hurt in her eyes as they brighten with tears when he brought up Noah's dad and regretted mentioning it, cursing at his stupidity yet again.
He has no business in knowing who Noah's dad was but the curiosity in him wants to know who the guy is and how can he do this to them. Abandon them. He has a marvellous son.
So handsome and smart.
He's mad. He hates it when guys deny their children and leave the mother of their children all alone to fend for themselves. To do what's supposed to a two-person job all by themselves. It's always the mothers that are the losers in situations like this since unlike men, they just can't their children. It's much more difficult. Because the bond between a mother and her child is one of a kind.
"I'm really curious, what's your little friend's name?" he asked, meeting her eyes again. She gave him a questioning look. "Little friend..." she said, confused. "...Little friend. Oh, Little friend, right. Her name's Annie. My best friend." she laughed. "You shouldn't call her that to her face. She'll kill you."
Killing a Chicago Police Department detective. It'd be like getting murdered by a squirrel. She could probably kill him with her words but he can definitely take her down in his sleep.
Annie.
He smells competition.
He snorted. "She's interesting...but I don't think she likes me very much."
"You really think you gave her a reason to not hate you?" she raised an eyebrow.
He smiled. "I sure did."
She laughed a bit, tucking hairs behind her ears and he caught a glimpse of what looked to be an old deep raised scar on her left wrist when her sleeve slumped a little.
He wondered the story behind it.
She had tried to kill herself?
He noted to ask her about it in the future. Now is definitely not the time. They're getting along so perfectly.
"You don't like talking about yourself much, do you?" he said. "Or just talking in general?"
She smiled and looked down and rocked Noah, a distraction. "I guess not."
He nodded. "That's ok. I get it, I'm not a big talker either. Silence just makes that getting-to-know-you period kind of prolonged."
"Sitting on the grass is kind of cold." she commented.
"Yeah, you want to start walking back?" He was already standing and offered her a hand to help her up. Chivalry is not dead, it turns out to be.
She just isn't used to men treating her like that, with respect and dignity. But she took it, thanking him.
She pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked at it. She's surprised that Bunny hadn't blown up her phone like she had been for the past few days. But she was almost more surprised to see that it was past one in the afternoon already. She didn't realise they'd been out that long.
She enjoyed.
"It's almost 1:30." she told him.
He nodded. "Yeah. My stomach clock had gone off a while ago."
"You should've said something." she said as they started to walk down the boardwalk.
He shrugged. "You guys seemed ok. There's a good pizza place on the way, if you want a slice."
She shook her head. "I don't really eat pizza."
"I hope that's not a diet thing." he said. She caught his calming eyes again. "You don't need to be dieting."
3:34pm
"So what'd you say to the landlord?" she asked after putting Noah in his crib. She've been wondering what tricks he played on the landlord for him to fix her heater for free.
Free!
She didn't have to spend a dime.
And so for the first time this winter, she shacked out of her coat and scarf, enjoying her cozy apartment. Cheeks turning rosy in warmth.
It's warm. It's really finally warm. They can all stop wearing silly hats and scarfs now.
"You don't really wanna know. Trust me." he smiled at her. And she nodded. The less she knows, the less involved she'll be.
"So, I take it that I'm forgiven?"
"Well..." she gave him an unsmiling look and he was practically begging her with his ocean blues.
How can she not forgive him?
"Yea. All's forgiven." she nodded, "My advice, don't ever threaten a mother like that ever again."
"Lesson learned."
"Just wait a sec." she quickly said before escaping into a room down the hall.
He stood by the front door with a grin on his face. Boy isn't he glad that he had threatened the landlord.
Erin really is something else, special.
She came rushing back with a giddy smile on her face, all excited about something.
Beautiful.
"So, I got these from a friend. Long story, you don't want to know." she quickly added.
She kind of, sort of, got them from a 'friend'.
Well, he was her friend for the night when she and two other strippers were hired at a private bachelor party about a month ago.
Only then did Jay notice the strips of Blackhawks tickets in her hands.
"Anyway, I'm not much of a fan, really. And I assume you like ice hockey since almost every guy in Chicago does. I don't know." she rambled on with bright eyes and in relatively higher pitch than normal. "In fact, I don't have the first clue as to how hockey works, so...here." she extended her arm out to him, passing the the two tickets to him.
She's giving him her Hawks tickets.
Naturally, he's surprised. They've been sold out for months and he's been trying to get his hands on them for as long as he could remember. While he had only intended to spend next weeks's evening at home, Jay would be lying if he were to say that the offer wasn't tempting. "Are you serious?"
For as long as he could remember, Jay had always been a fan of hockey, especially the Blackhawks - being that the home team.
As a boy, his father had made a point to teach him about specific plays and rules of the game. They used to spend hours watching it on TV and when his father could afford tickets, he'd take him and his older brother to a game or two.
Those were fond memories.
Erin nodded, pushing her arm forward once more. "Really, you can have them." she insisted, her voice adamant. "Take one of your buddies. I don't know...The other detective who was here too."
Antonio.
He'd like that very much.
Finally, he does take it, snapping the paper down against his other palm. "Thank you, Erin. I really do appreciate it."
She swayed on her feet before placing her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "Sure. Enjoy yourself."
He was still staring at her, speechless. This might be the best thing anyone's ever given him.
Twisting on her heel, she moved to stand next to the door. "Uh...I guess that's it. I'll see you around."
For longer than he planned, Jay watched her, frozen in place as the door was closing. Looking down at the tickets, an idea came to mind. "Come with me!"
He clearly didn't take much time to think it through. He doesn't need to. He's adamant. He's sure he wants her to come with him.
She stopped on her tracks, clearly surprised by his sudden suggestion. He scratched at the back of his head, nervous. "Yeah, you should. Come with me. They're your tickets anyway."
"Really?"
He smiled, passing one of them back to her.
"I must warn you though, I'm not sure how much of the game you'll actually get to watch in between explaining all of the stuff to me." she admitted, laughing dryly in the end.
"I don't care. I just know for a fact that we'll have the best time."
. . .
"Every human is born of collusion. We come into this world the result of a covenant. Sometimes made of love. Sometimes of circumstance. But almost always made in secret." - Emily Thorne
Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading. Sorry for not updating sooner. Please check out my newest Linstead story if you haven't, it's called Christmas. Please please do. I'd really love for you all to.