Hello and Happy Easter or whatever. Hope you all have a great day. I'm going to be cooking my butt off for the family.

So heads up, this chapter is pretty much mindless fluff of Sev and Lily. Not sure how you all feel about the lack of plot progression, but I sort of needed a chapter focusing on their developing relationship so that when they do take things farther it doesn't come out of left field.

Enjoy the fluff!

If Someone Cared Enough

Chapter 103: Nighttime Musings

Lily and Severus lied on Severus's bed, legs tangled, fingers intertwined. The warm summer air had compelled them to open the window to get a nice cross breeze going with the fan running on Severus's desk. Now they lied together letting the subtle caress of cool air tickle their bare flesh.

Lily shifted closer, slinging her lip further up over Severus's hip.

"This is nice," she murmured.

Severus hummed in agreement, idly playing with some of Lily's hair spilling across his bare chest.

"It's just so peaceful at this hour," Lily went on, her head falling into the crook of Severus's neck, "No cars on the road, no people awake..."

"Now drunks stumbling into rubbish bins because we thankfully don't live near a pub," Severus mused with a grin. His fingers trailed back and forth across Lily's back, occasionally sliding his thumb up underneath the back of her bra, "No shrill slighted women screaming about where their husbands have been all evening."

"Exactly," Lily agreed, "Just crickets chirping and the rustling of wind through the trees."

She sighed happily, "It doesn't get much better than this."

Severus stroked Lily's back, resting his head on top of hers, "Well…it would be nice to not have to sneak around like this."

Lily sighed again, this time with less contentment, "I know. It's gets tiring having to skulk around at night just to spend time together. But we're teenagers, mum and dad would never willingly agree to us sleeping in the same bed; they'd probably be worried that we'd make them grandparents in a week."

Severus snorted, "We should be so lucky if I could accomplish that. After so many years breathing in toxic potion fumes and being used as a practice dummy for Potter's hexes, we'll be lucky if my swimmers aren't going in circles."

Lily giggled slapping Severus's chest, "Stop it; I'm sure everything's up to snuff down there."

Severus raised a brow, "And you're an expert on my equipment, hm? You haven't even seen it."

"Don't have to see it to know that just about every teenage boy is plenty potent. Half of you could probably get a gym sock pregnant."

Severus's chuckle morphed into a cough, wincing even as a smile tugged at his lips, "I didn't need to imagine that."

Lily giggled so more.

The pair of them lied in silence, staring out the window at the waning moon and a few twinkling stars. While their neighborhood was rather rural, it was just close enough to the city that the London lights bled into the sky and prevented the feeble dim of most stars from peeking through. Only the brightest—presumably planets—pierced the smog and city life glow alongside the moon.

"I wish we could star gaze together like this at school," Lily said after some time, "Hogwarts is so far from any lights that you can see every star and constellation there is to be seen. It's a shame the only time we get to look at the night sky there is for class; homework sort of takes the wonderment out of it."

"Well, we could sneak out," Severus pointed out, "I hear all the cool kids do it."

Lily snickered, "Oh you did, did you?"

"Well Potter does it," Severus stated with a smirk, "And he at least thinks he's cool."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Well, now you've sold me. Let's break a dozen school rules to sneak out and canoodle under the stars."

Severus smirked, "Bet Potter would love to see that."

Lily put her head on Severus's chest, lightly tracing her fingers across one of Severus's old scars. It had become a pastime of hers since they'd taken their relationship to the next, albeit still virginal, step. Severus's chest was a road map of stories long forgotten and better off left in the past; cigarette burns and broken bottle cuts.

There was a welt over one pectoral of contused skin, the remains of the time Tobias had apparently struck Severus with the side of a hot tea kettle; there was a matching mark just up under the hairline by one of Severus's temples.

A jotted series of lines, trailed down the side of Severus's abdomen to disappear under the hem of his boxers from when he'd been scraped by a steak knife in a scuffle with his father; a puckered circled ring under one of his nipples from the time he fell on a face up metal bottle cap when he was six.

It had become a hobby of sorts for Lily to trace Severus's scars. They told the story of his life, both the tragic and the beautiful. They revealed just how cruel humanity can be and simultaneously how resilient the victims can become, how tragedy is not enough to snuff out hope and new beginnings.

It both fascinated and horrified Lily just how much Severus had endured in his young life and yet still found his way out of darkness.

She never went near the scar around his neck; the memory of how close she came to losing him still too horrible and fresh in her mind.

"You know what I hear is beautiful?" Lily brought up, staring up at the night sky, "In the arctic there's the aurora borealis. Just a big swatch of color on a huge canvas of sky. It's green and pink and it swirls in this sort of spiral smoky haze. I've only ever seen it in books, but it's supposed to be absolutely breathtaking in person."

"Then let's go see it someday," Severus suggested.

Lily lifted her head up to look at him, "Really?"

Severus shrugged, "Why not? When we graduated, we can travel before settling down. Nothing says we have to stay in England. Why not see the world?"

"What about the war?" Lily questioned.

"What about after the war?" Severus countered, "I wasn't suggesting we up and turn tail, Lily. But when all this madness is done, before we return to a normal life with jobs and responsibilities, it might be nice to just see what's out there for us, you know?"

"That's if we even live to see the end of the war," Lily said dourly.

Severus took Lily gently by the chin, "Don't talk like that. If a basilisk can't kill us, some crazy waving a stick and declaring himself some sort of lord can't either."

"You make it sound like he's not one of the most feared wizards of all time," Lily said.

Severus hummed, guiding Lily's head back down to rest on his chest, "I keep finding it harder and harder to fear that man since meeting him down in the Chamber. Every time I close my eyes I see some vain, arrogant, narcissistic child, someone claiming himself master of all and yet he fears death like a little boy hiding in his mother's robes. I see someone so afraid of being forgotten he must make a name for himself just to prove he ever had worth. I see the nothing he always will be. I despise him; but I do not fear him."

"He thinks love and forming attachments makes one weak," Severus went on, "But his refusal to treat his followers with even the basics of kindness or compassion is the very reason he will only ever have their compliance, but never their loyalty. Only the most unhinged and are truly loyal to him, and what good is that if they're so unreliable due to their own madness? Bellatrix is ruthless and faithful, but she's also imbalanced and rash; good at cruelty, abysmal at subtly.

"It's the very reason she's on the run now," Severus stated, "When she broke out Avery and Mulciber, I think she was supposed to keep her identity a secret; it's why they wear those masks. But she reckless dove into the fray with her cover blown, all to impulsively show the world that he's her master. Now all of the Lestrange family is suspected of following him, leaving them under scrutiny and too heavily watched to assist You-Know-Who without being caught."

"So his house of cards will crumble eventually," Lily surmised, "Because his followers are either too crazy to be fully useful or too mistreated by him to be truly loyal."

Severus nodded, "Exactly, those he recruited cannot truly wish to live under his thumb. No matter how strongly they revile muggles and muggleborns, I highly doubt abuse and torture is proper incentive for them to stick to the cause. Sure, the most spineless will stay because they fear being caught by him, but others will eventually be too embittered by his cruelty to stay by his side."

"They may come when he calls for now," Severus said, "But there will come a time when they lose the upper hand in a fight and would rather flee than stay and die for him. And since most of them probably don't know about his horcruxes, they probably believe that if they left him in a battle and he died, they'd be free from punishment for abandoning him, because they believe he won't be coming back."

Lily hummed in agreement, flicking her fingers back and forth on Severus's chest.

"Having fun there?" Severus asked, prodding Lily lightly in the side.

"It must be nice to be a guy," Lily mused, "You don't have any mounds of jiggly fat getting in the way of everything. When you look down, you can actually see your toes without having to push a pair of breasts out of the way."

"I assure you that your jiggle mounds are quite necessary to attracting the opposite sex," Severus delivered in monotone, "…Or same sex, I suppose, I'm sure Simone's a breast lover."

Lily pursed her lips to keep from laughing, "Well if you all love breasts so much, you can have them, I'm sick of the backache they give me."

"And here I recall a certain someone being over the moon when she bought her first training bra," Severus quipped, "Came running over to show me and everything."

Lily groaned, "I was ten, I didn't know any better."

"Your parents would have been appalled to know you were over at the park showing me your undergarments," Severus teased, "You were so excited to be 'blossoming into a woman', so to speak."

"Yeah, well now these things are huge and always getting in the way," Lily grumbled.

"If you don't want them, we could try shrinking them down," Severus suggested in jest, knowing exactly what Lily's response would be.

Lily sat up, arms going over her chest protectively, "No, their mine, I grew them."

Severus grinned, "See, you love your breasts as much as I do."

Lily sighed, dropping her arms, "While yeah…I mean, they do fill out a sweater nicely…and I do feel pretty with them."

"You're beautiful," Severus assured.

Lily blushed bashfully, breaking their gaze to stare down at her fingers trailing over Severus's chest.

She paused, her fingers trailing over one spot.

"Sev," she began, leaning in for a closer look, "You're growing chest hair."

Severus smirked, "At last…I'm finally a man."

Lily laughed into his shoulder, smacking Severus playfully on the chest, "I'm serious, this is the first time I ever noticed it. We're usually more…preoccupied with my chest when we're alone like this."

"Because your chest has the fun parts," Severus pointed out. He reached out and cupped one of her breasts, his thumb grazing her nipple through the fabric.

Lily shivered, content to let Severus lazily explore, "Well I like your chest. It's all broad and firm and," she flattened her palms out across Severus's pecs, "muscles. I like that I can tell you're strong just by feeling all that muscle beneath the skin. It's like you're rugged or wild…like a lumberjack who's going to carrying me bridal style through a log cabin for a night of passion."

Severus raised a brow, "You need to stay away from your sister's romance books, I think they're rotting your brain."

Lily snorted, "You know what I mean, I feel…it's like I know you could be rough with me…and I want you to, but only because I know you wouldn't actually hurt me."

"It's like your hands," Lily said, taking one of Severus's hands between her own. She turned Severus hand palm up, gripping the sides between both her thumbs and pointer fingers while she examined it.

"You have really strong hands," Lily explained, "They look thin and delicate, but they're big and you have a really strong grip. They're calloused because you work with your hands."

She let go with one hand to stroke her fingers across Severus's palm, mapping out the thin little lines and creases.

"I know you're strong enough to hurt me with these hands," Lily said quietly, "But deep down I know without a doubt that you never would…I don't think I'd ever feel that confident or assured about anyone else's touch."

"You know sometimes," Lily went on, "When thoughts of that day…on the train…when they rear their ugly head, I'll find myself looking at the men around me. Men on the streets, boys from our classes, guys on the train. I'll find myself really watching them carefully, studying them. I always wind up trying to gauge how threatening they look."

Lily looked down, her eyes half lidded in thought, "If their some pottering sixty year old, I can think to myself, 'Oh he wouldn't be able to harm me.' But…when I see a guy who's bigger than me…or a crowd of boys, I always find myself worrying about what they're capable of."

Severus sat up, a frown marring his face, "Lily…"

"About a month after the incident, I tripped while getting the mail one afternoon," Lily said softly, "Our neighbor Mr. MacGill helped me up. He's the nicest man and I know he would never hurt me, but when he pulled me to my feet…all I could think of was how big his hands felt…and how he'd lifted me like I was nothing. I suddenly felt so vulnerable, like a brittle twig he could break in his hands if he wanted. I ran inside without thanking him…"

Lily pulled Severus hand closer, pressing a kiss to his open palm.

"I've never felt the least bit afraid to feel the strength in your arms," Lily confessed, "You're the only man who isn't my father who I can feel safe with, who's strength I'm comforted by instead of threatened. That's why everything with you feels so…right."

"Lily," Severus reached out and cupped Lily's face in his hands, "You know you're one of the only people I have ever felt comfortable with touching me."

Lily smiled, bringing her hands up to cover Severus's own framing her face, "That's true. You always seem to freeze up when our friends do it, like it catches you off guard."

Severus nodded, "It does. I can't say I ever had much good experience with physical contact growing up. I think my mum used to hug me often when I was really little, but that's a distant memory compared to how often I've been hit."

Lily looked sadly at him, her eyes swimming with sympathy and love.

"It took a while for me to get used to getting hugs from you when we were little," Severus confessed, "It took me by surprise the first time you put your arms around me; I thought you were about to choke me," he chuckled, but it was wistful.

Lily laughed a bit too; she remembered that day. It had been almost humorous how much Severus had floundered when she first hugged him, arms pin wheeling for a minute as he nearly topple over in surprise.

Looking back on it now and realizing his shock had stemmed from a lifetime of the only contact he ever received being violent, it was rather sad to know how unfamiliar he was with a kind touch.

"I'm still not sure what to do with my hands when one of your parents hugs me or pats my shoulder," Severus admitted, "And they're my family now. Hell, I nearly swallowed my tongue the first time Petunia hugged me."

Lily grinned, "Hey, she hasn't hugged me in years. How do you think I felt the first time she did it last summer? I thought I'd have a stroke."

Severus snorted, "Even now it's taking some getting used to…this whole familiar contact thing. I was never used to friends and family being affectionate; aside from you, my friends were never really the hugging type. The hexing type, sure, but it wasn't even like they exchanged even handshakes with each other."

"Now suddenly I've got all these people in my life who want to hang on me," Severus mused, "Slap me on the back, ruffle my hair, it's all so new to me. It took me a while to get used to the idea that they weren't just trying to get close to me to use me or pull a prank or something."

Severus drew Lily close, wrapping his arms around her, "But I've always trusted you. Yes, that trust has been shaken a bit—on both our parts; I share fault in it as well—but even when we fought, I've never found myself afraid of you….just afraid of losing you."

Lily kissed Severus temple, "I was scared I'd lose you too. But I'm glad we've made it through all that."

Severus allowed himself a small smile, drawing Lily in for a kiss, "Me too."

The pair fell back against the bed together, lips locked tightly as they clung to one another. They should have been asleep by now and Merlin only knows how exhausted they'd be come morning, but for now they didn't have a care in the world.

Aaaand there's our fluff. Hope you enjoyed this installment of not real plot development XD

Not but to say here. More plot should be coming soon, but I'm in a slight emotional rut, which makes writing a tad bit difficult. Don't worry, I'll still keep at this story.

Review please :)