Hey there, people!

Thanks for the great reviews again. And thanks so much for the feedback one on my guests gave me on a previous chapter. You were very thorough and you're right, looking back on it now I think Fabian and Gideon WERE older than Molly, so they shouldn't be in school still with James and the others. My bad!

Forewarning, this chapter contains smut between two main characters. I think you can guess which (hint; not my ocs). If explicit material...or my attempts as it-aren't your thing you're welcome to skip the end of the chapter.

If Someone Cared Enough

Chapter 105: Spur of the Moment

Petunia's Italian themed lunch was, Severus was begrudged to admit, truly scrumptious. Even the fish stew, though dubious in odor, proved incredible. It even managed to prompt Severus to have seconds—which he served himself when Petunia wasn't looking; he wasn't about to give her more reasons to gloat.

The afternoon had gone pleasantly enough. Lily's parents arrived flanked by Frank and Alice, their ever present body guards. Moody popped in shortly after, muttering under his breath about the ridiculous of having to walk up the front walk where anyone could see him instead of apparating into the living room. It was ironic considering he was the one who put up the anti-apparation wards on the house for the family's protection.

Alice had tried countless times to convince Lily to get her family's fireplace hooked up to the floo network. She argued it would make visiting so much easier; no loud crack of apparation to attract other muggle's attention, no aurors knocking on the front door that could be recognized by potential death eaters trying to figure out where Lily and Severus lived. However, Moody warned them sternly off of the floo option.

"Hooked up by ministry personnel," he'd explained gruffly, "Can't pick who does it either; they send who they want. Could easily set up the network so that certain people could come and go as they please; grants easy access to you straight from the wizarding world. Until we know just who we can trust in the ministry, best not to let random officials have permission to waltz into your home."

So that meant settling for Frank and Alice stumbling into their home in clothing just barely passing for muggle-wear that attracted some attention from the neighbors. Frank couldn't seem to get the hang of telling women's blouses apart from men's shirts and showed up in some flowery frock a number of times now. Alice tended to flock to patterns and colors better fitted to a tablecloth or bed curtains and oftentimes happily donned dresses typically only the most eccentric grandmother would wear.

She had also become fond of Sunday bonnets so garish and over the top that Lily was reminded of Frank's mother and her stuffed vulture hat. It explained what Mrs. Longbottom liked so much about Alice to approve of the engagement; Alice was a bubbly version of Augusta.

Moody didn't even bother disguising himself as a muggle when he stopped by, relying heavily on notice-me-not charms and concealment spells to grant him anonymity and discretion in Cokeworth.

Severus and Lily just figured he hated having to wear muggle trousers.

Kingsley had no trouble blending into a muggle neighborhood. Despite his ethnicity and imposing height turning many heads, his straight-laced attire led many in the neighborhood to assume he was an exchanged student from the University Hank taught at. His study into muggle culture around Britain allowed him to flawlessly mingle with muggles and understand their colloquialisms where many would go over Frank or Alice's heads—Alice in particular was terrible at hiding her wide eyed curiosity at muggle life with an enthusiasm rivaling a certain Weasely.

With Alice and Franks chatting up Lily's parents and Moody subduing himself with a bottle of bourbon—and a flask of scotch—Lily and Severus had a grand time getting to know Kingsley.

He was charming, well versed in a wide range of literature, astute and insightful but with a restrained foresight to pick his words carefully. He tended to perform a masterful dance around subjects and wording that may offend those of more sensitive or volatile attitudes.

Severus, being prickly by nature and cautious by instinct, found Kingsley's honesty easier to handle than most because of the consideration the man put into his words. He wasn't blunt or crass, wasn't oafish and lacking in subtlety. And he lacked the condescension that dripped off of most Ravenclaws. Davis had been the only exception to the usual know-it-all archetype of Ravenclaws in years, so it was refreshing to meet another bearable intellect in Kingsley.

Lily spent most of the meal watching her sister, noting how her eyes lit up whenever Kingsley addressed her. He often asked for her opinion or insight on many subjects, drawing her into his conversations with Severus with welcome. It had to be nice for Petunia to be so valued for her thoughts; Lily oftentimes struggled with the guilt of knowing that so much of Petunia's time out of the spotlight over the years came from Lily not trying harder to share the spotlight with her. She tended to let their parents fawn over her amazing abilities with little thought for how it downplayed Petunia's own talents, regulated her to a background feature to her sister's grand adventures.

Lily knew now that some of her parents attention was less about true amazement in her magical abilities and their preemptive attempts to shield her from the muggle world's rejection of magic. Learning that their daughter was something society would likely dub a freak or abomination, they dove into positive reinforcement of every bit of magic she displayed, to head off the inevitable cold hard truth that Lily couldn't truly belong to their world anymore. They wanted her to know that even if she couldn't be apart of the muggle world anymore, she would always be apart of theirs.

The trouble with this loving act of protection is it came at the cost of Petunia falling to the wayside; the daughter they knew would be accepted by society and therefore forgot was desperately looking for acceptance of herself.

Lily was thankful Petunia met Simone and Thea. While Lily failed to help others notice Petunia's value, Simone demanded Petunia shout her worth from the rooftops, to make people see what she had to offer. She instilled in Petunia a sense of pride in herself that their parents had been unaware they were neglecting to do.

She saw the same spark of life in Petunia around Kingsley that she saw around Simone and Thea. Petunia came alive in Kingsley's presence, enjoyed his interest and admiration for her confidence and headstrong nature. It was clear where others might have seen stubbornness, Kingsley saw determination, and it clearly drew him to Petunia like a moth to a flame.

Lily caught Kingsley watching Petunia several times with the softest hint of a tender smile on his lips, the subtle quirk of the corner of his mouth and how it widened when Petunia laughed at something he said. It reminded Lily of the smile she oftentimes caught Severus directing at her when he thought she wasn't looking.

Throughout the meal, Lily pondered over her earlier conversation with her sister. Petunia had given much thought to her own desires for the future and had or would be informing Kingsley of her intentions to see where it matched up with his and where it left them. As much as Petunia clearly enjoyed Kingsley's company, she didn't seemed the least bit worried to discuss what could very well be the end of their barely fledgling relationship.

Obviously it would be an easier talk for Petunia because she didn't love Kingsley. Not yet at least, they hardly new each other long enough to develop feelings that strong. Everything was new to them and at a stage where they could go their separate ways emotionally while still plenty comfortable with staying in each other's lives as friends with no hurt feelings.

Lily however, was far deeper emotionally in her relationship with Severus.

Truthfully, she dreaded talking with Severus about their future. They had been in close agreement with the more prominent concern; staying alive through the war. But the little details, the things that could make or break what they had, didn't come up too often or were deliberately avoided as they focused on the more pressing need to simply survive long enough to even have a future together.

If Severus didn't want a family, Lily didn't know where that would leave them. While she wasn't exactly looking to have a big as the Weasley's growing brood, she wouldn't mind a child or possibly two. Deep down, Lily knew she wanted to be a mother, to hold a baby in her arms and give them her love and care. She was naturally a nurturing person, someone who needed to share her love with others.

But Severus was more reserved, barely sharing his affections with anyone but her. Even their own friends rarely received a hug initiated by him, though he accepted hugs from them of their own volition. Overall, Severus was a very closed off person. His own mother rarely got the level of affection Lily received from the introverted boy. There was the very likely possibility that Severus was not capable of giving love to a child, not even his own. Not out of cruelty, but because it simply wasn't the type of person he was. Lily seemed to be his only exception to the walls he put up around him and there was no way of knowing if he'd extend that exception to a child.

There was also the matter of his father. Lily knew Severus loathed his father with the deepest depths of his heart. For some, forgiveness was earned not given and Lily couldn't argue that Tobias didn't deserve any. He'd crossed too many lines, burned too many bridges. He'd written the extent of his cruelty into his wife and child's very skin on a number of occasions.

Whether it was consciously or subconsciously, Severus strove to distance himself from his father and did his damnedest not to be anything like him. The few times Severus had joined Lily and their friends for some bit of late night mischief during the school year, he never partook in the firewhiskey Simone or Nesme pinched from the Hog's Head. Not even Lily's playful and slightly tipsy teasing could get him to take a single sip. He'd been too hurt by his father's love of the drink to ever view the vile liquor as anything but evil.

What if Severus's desire to not be like his father drove him from the idea of children completely? Lily couldn't really blame him if he feared being like the man who raised him. While Lily could see clear as day how Severus was kind and caring; the polar opposite of his tyrant father, she'd understand if he feared the possibility so much that he'd rather not risk having children.

That's why Lily dreaded bringing up the topic she knew she could no longer put off. She didn't want to be selfish and insist Severus do what she wanted, but she didn't want to agree to go without an aspect of life that she knew she wanted and would give her so much joy.

But what if this was one issue they couldn't work around? What if they truly did want vastly different things. Would that mean the end of their relationship?

Almost as soon as the thought crossed her mind did Lily shake it off. How did she get so dramatic?

Perhaps Lily was over thinking things, maybe even overreacting. Sure they were legally adults by seventeen in the wizard world, but that didn't mean they had to start their adults lives right away. Things change; maybe as they grew older Severus would come around to the idea of children. Or maybe Lily would find that a life without kids could be just as wonderful as one with them. She was certain right now that she wanted them someday, but that didn't mean she was always going to feel so strongly.

Her and Severus were too young to be worrying about children anyway. They were teenagers; hardly ready to care for themselves, let alone infants. And a war was going on practically right outside their door; who would be crazy enough to have a baby during a war?!

And there were plenty of things Lily knew Severus would support her on. Severus respected her intellect enough to stand by her if she chose to start a career. He knew from a young age that Lily wasn't the type to let others tell her what to do, nor was she the kind to play little housewife. That was something Lily knew about herself; even if she did have kids, she wanted to have a job she could take pride in and apply her talents to. She wanted to be more of a working woman like her own mother, not a stay at home mum. It just wasn't her.

So Severus would be right besides her if she wanted to open her own potion's shop or become a healer. He'd support her endeavors to succeed, encourage her when long hours or a tough shift became discouraging. Those were aspects of the future that were certain. Was it really so bad that they didn't have all the little details like children ironed out yet?

Still, even if such a future was years off, it was still something Severus and Lily needed to discuss. Just to understand where they stood. A difference of opinion didn't have to be the end of their relationship, but it could help to know what to expect from each other.

That talk, it turned out, came sooner rather than later.

"What do you think of kids?" Lily blurted out, surprising even herself.

They'd retreated to her room after lunch to study; a fib Lily's parents were more than willing to believe as Hank and Willow went to give their guests a tour of the garden. In reality, the only thing the pair was studying was each other's bodies.

"Kids?" Severus paused, his hand up Lily's shirt. His other hand was currently cupping Lily's bum, sending tingles up and down the redhead's skin.

"Yes, kids," Lily repeated, panting from the kiss she had broken away from right before her unexpected case of blurt, "What do you think of them?"

"You mean besides how they are far from an arousing topic for pillow talk?" Severus quipped sardonically with a quirk of his brow, "Well, they're noisy, often messy, disobedient; I remember myself as a right little smartass..." he gives Lily's bottom a squeeze for emphasis.

Lily giggled, slapping his hand away, "Be serious; do you like children at all?"

Severus tilted his head, "Not sure where this question is coming from, but I suppose kids are alright. Not all of them are annoying little prats, I guess. Some may even be remotely bearable."

Lily deflated, "So you don't really like children."

Severus frowned, not having intended his words to upset her, "Lily, what's this about?"

Lily reluctantly pulled away from Severus, swinging one of her legs over to the other so that she was sitting across her boyfriend's lap instead of straddling him.

"Sev," she began hesitantly, "How do you see our future?"

Severus looked at her confused, "Our future? How does that have anything to do with what you were askin—"

"Just answer the question, Sev," Lily asked abruptly, "Please."

Sev leaned back slightly, eyes on the ceiling as he considered his answer.

"Well," he began slowly, "We'd be together; that much I know for sure. Probably somewhere just outside of England, just far enough away from the war to not be targets…though I suppose we're probably both too stubborn to completely stay out of the whole mess. Perhaps we could brew potions to aide the aurors—"

Lily placed a finger to Severus's lips, effectively silencing him.

"Forget about the war," she requested, "For now…just for a second, let's pretend there isn't even a war going on. Let's say we're graduating in a year in a world that's all bright and peachy. Fresh out of Hogwarts: what would our lives be like?"

"Well, I…" Severus responded, shifting awkwardly, "I would hope…marriage?" he said it hesistantly, hopefully, gauging Lily's reaction.

Lily nodded with a smile, "Marriage is my hope too."

Severus smiled in relief, letting out a breath, "Good…good. And I guess you and I will probably want out own jobs, careers to apply our skills to. Otherwise there'd be no point to all the schooling we're just going to sit around doing nothing with it."

"Besides," he went on, "Neither of us likes feeling too dependent on other people; we like accomplishing things on our own merit. I don't intend to make you support us both no more than you'd want to sit idly by while I the two of us."

"You're right," Lily agreed, "I'd much rather know that if anything ever happened, if things got difficult, I could pitch in and help. What if you were injured and had to take time off work?"

"Exactly," Severus nodded, "Or what if you're family had an emergency that you needed to attend to. Clearly both of us are suited to bringing in a fair share of income."

Lily grinned, "Glad we agree I can take care of myself."

"Now what else?" Severus mused, "I see us living in a house, not a flat. A cottage; nothing too big. Who needs all that extra space?"

"Go on," Lily prompted.

"Something on a hillside maybe?" Severus theorized, "Overlooking a lake, or perhaps the ocean. On the outskirts of a village, someplace quiet, away from all the noise of the city."

Severus cocked his head to the side, losing himself in his imagination, "We'd have a big basement for brewing potions. Be it for work or hobby, I don't care which. And a garden to grow our own potions ingredients and herbs and vegetables."

"And a flower garden," Lily added.

Severus nodded, "There'd be a little breakfast nook where we can read the paper over coffee, the window looking out over the water. Our bedroom…" he blushed faintly, the implications of what sharing a bed in marriage entailed likely flitting before his mind, "Would be on the east side of the house, so we could watch the sun come up every morning…see the light trace across the floor and over your bare shoulders…"

Lily leaned forward, placing a kiss on Severus's lips.

"What about kids?" she asked when she broke away.

Severus blinked, still dazed from the kiss, "What about them?"

"Would we have kids?" Lily pressed.

Severus sat up, a startled and perplexed look on his face, "What?"

Lily worried her lip; time to bite the bullet so to speak.

"Sev," she started slowly, busying herself fiddling with Severus shirt collar, "When you picture this future for us…the house, the ocean, the garden…do you see children in it?"

Severus's expression was hard to read. It wasn't upset per say, nor freaked out like Lily predicted. He didn't look repulsed by her question either. He just seemed blank more or less, neutral. Only the slight furrowing of his brows and his fixed gaze on the far side of the room were any indication that her question had affected him at all.

"Sev?" Lily tried again, "Listen, I get that babies are probably the last thing a teenage guy thinks of when it comes to girls and snogging, but it couldn't hurt to…you know…know where we stand?"

Severus wrinkled his brow, turning to Lily with a perplexing frown, "I'm not sure exactly what you want me to say."

"Well surely you've given some though to whether or not you want children," Lily poised, "Right?"

"Honestly?" Severus shrugged, "Not really. The whole kid thing doesn't pop into my mind too often. And I did just spend the good part of a year focus more on not getting murdered by a horcrux or two, so a lot of my thoughts for the future were more…short term…like, 'don't get eaten by a giant snake,' sort of thing."

Lily allowed herself a small chuckle at that, "So you don't think of yourself having kids, then?"

Severus pursed his lips, deep in thought, "It's not that I don't see myself as a father, I just never stopped to image being one…mainly because before this year I never even thought I'd ever get married."

Lily pulled back, "You didn't?"

"Lily, I nearly lost you last year," Severus pointed out, "And prior to that, we'd been drifted apart for quite some time. You were falling for some of Potter's flattery. And then the lake incident happened and I thought I lost you."

Severus gently took Lily's face in his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks, "It's only ever been you, Lily. You're all I've ever wanted. When I thought there was no chance of us being anything more than friends—if even that—then I'd resigned myself to never having a relationship. I just couldn't picture myself with anyone but you."

"Really?" Lily asked, eyes wide and glistening.

"Really," Severus promised, "My dreams for our future never went farther than marriage, because I honestly thought they'd always remain just that; just dreams. Why plan farther when I was convinced it was a life I'd never have?"

"So you do want kids?" Lily asked, hopeful.

"I'm not sure," Severus admitted uncomfortably, "I've never considered it."

"But if you were to consider it?" Lily pressed.

"Then I don't know," Severus answered, "I've never given much thought to being a father…frankly I wasn't given a very good example of one growing up."

"Oh Sev," Lily cooed soothingly, "I know your father was a terrible man, but you know I'd never dream you'd be capable of being like him. You know that, right?"

Severus didn't answer.

Lily cradled Severus's face in her hands, their foreheads touching.

"Sev," she began, "if you don't want children; if you just don't like them, I'll understand. Family life isn't for everyone. I'd never want you to settle for something that makes you unhappy just to please me."

Severus managed a small smile at her words.

"But," Lily went on, "If you're against children because you think you'd be a terrible father…I want you to reconsider. Don't deny yourself a future that could give you happiness just because of what that bastard did to you. Don't give up hope of being a father because you're afraid of being like him; you're nothing like him."

"If you don't want kids," Lily continued, "Then I won't press you on it. We'll …we'll work something out. Things change any way, either one of us might feel differently someday. But if you do want kids…I say go for it. You'd be an amazing dad and I'd hate to see you give up something grand because of Tobias."

"I don't hate kids," Severus conceded, "They're not all intolerable. Some of them are a tad less deplorable than most…"

Lily giggled.

"I've never allowed myself to dream of children," Severus confessed, "I just assumed it wasn't in the cards for me; Tobias used to say how unlovable I was. Everyone used to say how much I looked like him…they'd whisper behind my back how the apple didn't fall far from the tree, that I'd be just like him someday. I didn't want to put anyone through what I'd been through…He was my boggart, Lily."

"But he's dead now," Lily reminded him softly, "Six feet under where he can never get you, or anyone you love."

Severus looked away, but Lily turned his head back towards her and met his gaze.

"Sev," she said, "What is it you want?"

"I…" Severus hesitated, "I don't know. I…I need time to think, I—"

Lily shushed him softly, "Then take all the time you need. We're young; there's plenty of time to think of the future. I just wanted to see if we had similar ideas so that I didn't surprise you somewhere down the line by springing it on you then."

"Whatever you decide," Lily assured, "I still love you."

A grin quirked the corner of Severus's lips, "I love you too."

It had taken quite some time to get Severus to say those words aloud. Lily had known for a whole now just how deep Severus's feeling went, but he was so terrible at openly expressing himself. A lifetime of have his words ignored or ridiculed had robbed him of the confidence to voice his feelings for fear of being hurt in return.

It made a warmth rise up from deep within Lily's chest every time she heard him say it.

Drawing him in for a kiss, Lily lightly pushed on Severus shoulders, letting out a soft laugh when he fell backwards on the bed in surprise.

Straddling him, Lily cupped his face with her hands, her fingers weaving into his hair as she deepened the kiss, relishing the deep, throaty moan she managed to pull from Severus as she ground her hips against his.

Letting out a startled gasp, Severus gripped Lily's hips harshly, hands running along her backside to cup her pert bottom and squeeze it tentatively. He bucked up into Lily, groaning low in his throat.

Lily let out a gasp of her own, the firmness of Severus's arousal pressing up between the apex of her thighs, making heat pool between Lily's legs.

Lily didn't know what was coming over her. There was just this...burning need to be close to Severus, some unbridled urge to be near him in every way possible. It could be the excitement of knowing their future wasn't as uncertain as she assumed; Severus wasn't against her dreams for their lives, just not sure if he was ready for it yet. It could be the knowledge that any plans they would like to make hinged on surviving the war, making every moment they had together something to cherish because any of them could be their last.

Loosening her grip on his hair, Lily trailed her hands down to Severus's shoulders, pushing herself up and away from the kiss.

"Lily," Severus murmured in a daze, "What…?"

"Shh," Lily whispered, "Just let me have this."

Bracing her hands on Severus's chest, Lily sat back onto Severus crotch, shivering at the solid warmth pressing against her panties. She rolled her hips experiementally once, then twice.

Severus head fell back against the mattress with a groan, his has kneading at her ass insistently, encouraging her.

Lily moaned as Severus hardness rubbed between her legs, the pressure eliciting a q uiver of pleasure from her. As she moved, Severus's hands on her bottom coaxed her onward.

The pooling heat between her legs growing ever hotter, Lily rocked against Severus faster, grinding down upon his cock with growing fervor.

She bit her lip, there was something obscenely excited about doing something so naughty when her family and company were only one floor away, something enticingly lewd about using Severus's stiffness as a toy to rub reverently against.

Lily rocked faster, her pleasure rising. Faintly she could hear someone talking to her, maybe Severus, but their words were soft and far away.

Hands slid up her shirt, beneath her bra, deft fingers plucking at her nipples as she bucked fervently.

"Oh," she gasped softly, "Ah…I'm—!"

She keened, her climax crashing over her like a tidal wave, sending little sparks of electricity up and down her body. Her toes curled, thighs quaking as she grounded down as hard as she could against Severus's cock, chasing the aftershocks as her panties grew ever increasingly damp.

Distantly, she heard Severus let out a hoarse groan, his fingers closing deliciously painfully on one of her nipples, making Lily buck once more as she felt a wet warmth spread out underneath her across the crotch of Severus's pants.

Lily panted, her breath coming out in short little gasps as her body continued to twitch and spasm.

"Wow…" was all she could manage to say.

"Yeah…" came Severus voice from underneath her, "Wow…"

All at once Lily came back to herself, staring down at Severus in growing embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," she stammered, hastily climbing off his lap, "I-I don't know what came over me."

Truthfully, her thoughts had gotten away from her, turning surprisingly dirty. Something about being on top of Severus just lit some unseen primal force inside her. She liked the control, knowing he was at her mercy in the most enticing of ways. Imagine how sex would be like.

The thought of riding Severus was both thrilling and shocking. The thought had flitted across her mind, the image of her bouncing on his lap, his hungry gaze leering up at her, her body twisting and turning—

Lily flustered, turning away with a squeak as a pulse of arousal shot through her once more. Her crotch throbbed slightly from the rough treatment just moments ago, abused thoroughly as she'd lost herself in a fantasy.

The knowledge that she'd basically just used Severus like a sex toy made Lily's face go scarlet.

"I can't say I didn't enjoy it," Severus admitted, reaching out to stroke Lily's to calm her, "It just caught me by surprise is all. I didn't think you'd feel comfortable doing something like that yet."

The 'yet' caught her attention. The knowledge that Severus had probably had fantasies like this moment that he'd held back for her was somewhat comforting. She wasn't some pervert; he wasn't disgusted by her. What they did was normal…if not a little forward.

"I've been worried that you didn't feel comfortable doing much more than a little groping or snogging," Severus confessed, "I know we've talked about going further, but I didn't really see it happening anytime soon."

"I didn't think so either," Lily confessed, "I just got…sort of lost in the moment. I didn't think I'd be ready for anything like that just yet. But…seeing you under me, having you let me take the reins…I liked it. I felt in control, safe. I could do whatever I wanted at my own pace and I guess I just…really, really like it."

"You mean you got off on it," Severus teased, rolling over onto his side to look at her. It was almost comical with the wet spot on the front of his pants. Inwardly, Lily cringed, realizing the dampness of her panties was growing cold.

Lily looked away, her cheeks crimson, "I suppose you could put it that way. Does it…bother you that I take charge?"

Severus raised a brow, "I don't think I'd need a change of pants right now if I didn't."

Lily snorted, smacking his arm, "So fresh."

"So…" Lily looked cautiously up at Severus, "This," she motioned back and forth between the two of them, "Is okay?"

Severus smirked, "Anytime you want to climb on top of me like that again, I promise to be a most willing participant."

"Lech," Lily chided with a giggle as she leaned in for a kiss.

A knock sounded at the door.

"Kids," came Willow's voice, "Come say goodbye to our guests."

Lily and Severus sprung apart, hastily getting off the bed in case Willow decided to open the door.

"Be right there mum," Lily called. She went to her dresser to grab a clean pair of underwear.

Severus cursed under his breath, "Do any of my other pants look enough like these that no one will notice I changed them?"

Okay, so as I've said before, my sexual orientation means I don't exactly have sex nor want to. So writing smut is hard. I therefore apologize if this was a piss poor attempt. Like, seriously, it's hard to channel a sexual active mindset when you don't desire sex in the slightest.

It's really important to me that the progress towards a physical relationship be on Lily's terms. Not because Severus's wants don't matter, but because Lily needs the solace of knowing her choices hold meaning and carry weight after her consent was disregarded by Avery. Just because someone tried to take something sacred from her doesn't mean she must distance herself from future physical, consenting relationships. Acting out the desires she's feels as a healthy teenager is her way of affirming that she's in charge of herself and that she has a right to be intimate on her terms and at her own pace.

I also wanted to make the progression to this point slow; if you've noticed it took the pair a year to reach this point. All too often I see fics use sexual assault solely for shock value and leave out any discussion or plot focused around coping or healing from the ordeal. More often than not, the writer instead rushes into 'sexy times' between the victim and their love interest shortly thereafter without any sign that the previous assault by the villain had any affect on them at all. One good example was this old Thor fic I read around the time the first Thor film came out for the MCU. Loki was nearly raped on Jotunheim by his brothers after being given to them as a toy by his evil frost giant dad and he's rescued by Thor...the pair bone maybe two chapters later. Not a good handling of such a serious subject.

Sorry if it seems like Lily and Severus got over the "do have kids or not have kids" issue so quickly. They still don't know what the future holds for them in that department, but they're certain they care about each other and want a future together, so they'll cross that hurdle when they get to it. Plus they're only 17, so they have literally years to worry about kids. I mean, who has a baby in the middle of a wizarding war that they're personally fighting?! Lol!

Review please :)