Hullo there! Can you type with a British accent? Because I can! BRILLIANT!

(Is that racist? I feel like it is. But then again, "British" isn't a race, is it?)

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU MET CHAT NOIR?!"

Marinette flinched, holding the phone away from her ear. "Alya! Not so loud!"

"Answer the question, Marinette! This is an absolute OUTRAGE! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME, YOUR BEST FRIEND--"

"YOU'RE STILL SHOUTING ALYA."

"Sorry! I just can't believe you didn't tell me about this earlier. I thought we tell each other everything, Marinette!"

Marinette cringed. "I'm sorry, okay? It must've slipped my mind. It's not that big of a deal; it's not like I haven't met him before--"

"Yes, but this is way bigger than the time with Evillustrator! Did you seriously run out in the middle of an Akuma attack to save him?"

"Er, I guess? How did you even find out about that?"

"Someone sent me a video. It only showed you waking him up after he was thrown into that building and passed out. What were you doing? What happened? Where were you leading him?"

Marinette sighed as Alya bombarded her with questions. So much for studying. She told Alya the quick version of the story, leaving out the part about the earrings, of course. When she was finished, Alya was silent for a moment. Then, "YOUR MOTHER WAS KIDNAPPED AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"

"I'm sorry, Alya! I've just been preoccupied with other things. Such as..." Marinette bit her lip to keep from squealing. "A date with Adrien!"

Alya gasped, all traces of anger disappearing in an instant. "Tell. Me. Everything."

This time, Marinette did squeal. "He asked me out just before I left the cafe! He's going to pick me up on Saturday, and he said to wear something fancy!"

"Adrien did? Today?"

Why did she sound speculative? "Yeah, why?"

"You mean you haven't noticed? Adrien's been acting super weird, like, all day. Nino said he fell down the stairs before class."

"Adrien?"

"I know, right? Maybe he's the victim of, like, a body-switching Akuma or something. But, girl, didn't you notice? He was staring at you all day!"

Actually, she did notice. All throughout the day, Adrien kept turning around to look at her. He'd open his mouth, as if to say something, but then apparently change his mind and face forward again. Of course, she didn't mind, but she was starting to think maybe he was mad at her or something. But now that he'd asked her out...

Oh my God! What if all those times he tried to say something, he was trying to ask me on a date? The thought made Marinette want to jump for joy.

"What do you think, Marinette? Any ideas why he might be acting this way?"

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe he's sick?"

"Adrien doesn't get sick."

"Oh, right. Well, he apologized about the Chat Noir thing. Maybe that has something to do with it?"

"Maybe..."

Alya went quiet for a moment, which was enough to make Marinette worry. "Alya?"

"Uh, gotta go! Bye!"

"Wait, Alya--" Marinette took the phone from her ear, frowning. "She hung up on me!"

--

Alya slipped the phone into her pocket discreetly. She peered through the bushes as Nino crouched down beside her. He handed her a cup of coffee, which she took gratefully.

"Dude, how many of these have you had today?"

She shrugged. They were too far away; she could barely see anything! "Four or five."

He chuckled, grinning at her. "That is so not healthy."

Alya didn't answer. Instead, she took the binoculars from her backpack and held them up to her eyes. It didn't do much, but it did let her see what a bush looks like super close up. She scoffed and put them back in her backpack to sit in shame, and think about what they'd done!

"Right, so, what are we doing again?"

"We're stalking Adrien." She sipped her coffee angrily. Good old coffee. I can always count on you. "Or at least, we would be, if we could actually see him."

"Uh-huh. Why is that, again?"

"You said so yourself: Adrien is acting weird. It's up to us to figure out why!"

"I take it Marinette didn't know, then?"

"Nope. She's as useless as these binoculars. And you."

"Wait, what?"

"We have to find a way to get closer!" She shifted the leaves to see through to the other side and groaned. "There are no bushes closer to him, though!"

"We could try not hiding behind a bush." She glared at him. "Or, you know, not," he amended.

"We need disguises. Here, take off your shirt."

"What? No."

"Yeah, we're gonna switch. I'll be you and you'll be me," she said, taking off her plaid overshirt and tugging the hem of his shirt up insistently.

He tugged it back down, his face turning red. "Wait, I never agreed to this!"

"Oh, come on, Nino. I did it!"

"You have a tank top under!"

"Yeah, but you're a guy."

"Fine." He slid his shirt over his head and replaced it with her flannel. "Girl shirts are weirdly shaped."

Alya tugged his baggy blue shirt over her head and stole his hat, placing it on her own head. She stepped back to evaluate her creation, Nino blinking back at her. Her shirt did not fit him right, but it was better than nothing. It was still missing something, though...

"Gimme your glasses," she ordered.

"Seriously?"

"You still look like you! Gimme your glasses!"

"I can't see without my glasses, Alya. Besides, I don't see you giving up yours!"

"Well, I'm the head detective. It's essential for me to be able to see."

He rolled his eyes and handed them over, squinting at her. "Happy?"

She nodded thoughtfully. "You look..." Ridiculous. "...not like yourself. That's good." She tucked his glasses into the front pocket of her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. "Let's do this!"

"Yeah!"

Together, they tiptoed out from behind their bush and discreetly made their way toward Adrien, who stood at the center of the park, posing for a photo shoot and sporting the newest designs of his father's company. He seemed distracted enough, but just in case, Alya tugged the hat down to shield her face. She led him to a bench and they sat down, taking textbooks out of her backpack to gaze creepily over.

"He's not doing anything," Nino said after a moment.

"Not yet," Alya retorted.

"This is pointless, dude."

"Nino! You are seriously not helping."

"There's nothing to help!"

"Oh, crap! He's looking over here! Hide your face!"

"It's too late! He's coming over, dude!"

"ABANDON SHIP!"

The boy in question sauntered toward them, eyebrows drawn together in confusion and hands stuck in his pockets. "Alya? Nino?"

The couple shifted anxiously, and Alya cleared her throat. "Um, no... My name is Nina, and this is Alyo."

"Uh..."

Nino rolled his eyes, pushing the textbook out of the brunette's face. "I think he sees us, Alya."

"Oh... hey Adrien! Funny seeing you here," she said, setting the textbook aside and smiling weakly.

"What are you guys doing here?" the blond inquired.

"What are you, the park police?" Alya demanded. "Can't we take a walk in the park without being interrogated?"

"Uh, sorry. Why are you wearing each other's clothes though?"

"Why are you wearing that scarf?" she countered.

"What, this?" he lifted the thin, salmon fabric of the scarf. "I have to wear it. I'm a model."

"And, what, the scarf Marinette made for you isn't good enough to model?!"

"Marinette made me a scarf?"

"O-okay, I think that's enough chitchat," Nino interrupted. "Alya and I were just leaving."

"Oh, okay. See you guys later," he called as Nino dragged his girlfriend away by the wrist.

Once they were a safe enough distance away, Nino rounded on her. "That's enough coffee for you."

--

For a good part of the night, Adrien sat upright in bed, attempting to sort out the thoughts in his mind. The moonlight shone in through the window and casted shadows across the room. His faithful companion rested fitfully at his side, muttering about camembert. Everything was as it should be, at least, externally.

Internally, the hero was fighting one of his hardest battles yet. He was trying to make sense of everything that had happened over the past few days, but every time he thought he was getting somewhere, his mind would go blank.

First, there was Marinette. She'd been acting weird--weirder--ever since the Scribbler. Then, Ladybug. She, too, had acted strange for the brief time he'd seen her during the battle. She kept looking at her hand, or rather, something in her hand... That bothered him. And in the video Alya had shown him of the fight, she'd come from down an alleyway--the exact place he'd come from. Which meant that she must've passed Marinette on her way there.

He was unsure of what this meant, but one thing was certain: Marinette hadn't said anything about seeing Ladybug when he visited her that night. Moreover, she seemed to be almost angry at his lady. Something wasn't adding up, and yet he got the feeling that it was all connected somehow.

What does it matter? part of him thought. He'd made the mistake of acting on his suspicions earlier, following Marinette after she abruptly excused herself to the bathroom and trying to listen in. He wasn't even sure why he did it, but it didn't matter, because he definitely heard her talking to someone. He couldn't make out what she was saying, but he was sure he hadn't imagined it. He'd even risked entering the forbidden restroom after she'd left, and sure enough, there was no one inside--at least, until a middle-aged woman came in and politely, but firmly, asked him to leave.

The working theory: Marinette was in contact with Ladybug, and she'd excused herself to call her and notify her about the festival.

Okay, maybe it was a little far-fetched.

When he'd mentioned all this to Plagg, the sprite advised him to "stop being such a wimp and move on," and despite every fiber of his being telling him to drop kick the little pest, Adrien knew that he was probably right. He knew he tended to overanalyze things, especially when they had to do with Ladybug. It wasn't any of his business, really, so he probably should have dropped it.

But then he had to go and ask Marinette on a date, of all things. He told himself that it was just to make it up to her, and even that he wanted to get to know her, but the reality of it was that he wanted to spy on her. Which made him feel even worse, in retrospect.

To make it up to her, though, he'd pulled out all the stops to think of a date she'd really like, and when he finally came up with something, he'd asked her--without even checking with his father if it was okay.

Oh well.

The good news was that it was going to be epic, and one way or another, he was going to solve this mystery--no matter how many dates he had to take Marinette on to make up for it.

Boy, howdy, I'd jus' like ta 'pologize ta anyone I mighta offended with my phony accentin' and whatnot. That was right indecent of me.

I'm going to hell.