Chapter 33: To Have And To Hold…

Zen woke up early Monday morning before the alarm. When he opened his eyes, the morning sun was creeping in around the edges of the blinds adding a warm hue to the room. MC was still fast asleep in his arms, curled into his form, her sweet head snuggled into his chest. God, as always, she looked so beautiful, even more so in the glow of the morning light, but the word "beautiful" didn't even capture the cataclysmic mix of feelings her sleeping face was stirring in him right now. Damn. The way she looked made his heart hurt, made his heart soar, made him want to cry, no weep with joy. Basically, all of these things at the same time. Man, this girl made him feel like he could do anything. Since they'd been together, he'd stood up to Jumin, created boundaries with Echo Girl, even reached out to his parents… All of these things he would've shied away from before, but with MC by his side he felt like he could conquer the world.

His heart leapt as she shifted and sighed in her sleep. She rolled closer to him, throwing one leg up and over his hip, which caused the tee-shirt she was wearing to ride up around her waist and expose her bare ass… His breath caught in his throat at the sight. Damn. Now what he really wanted to do was to make love to her until he was senseless... but she was sleeping, and he didn't want to disturb her. Instead, he contented himself by stroking her soft brown hair.

Man, he was so in love with her, he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Honestly, he knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to marry her, and for a while that had even started to feel possible. When he talked to his mom, she'd seemed so receptive, she'd even sent her necklace as a gift... But then his father had gotten involved, and the old man had refused to even let Zen and MC come visit. Now it seemed like Zen and his family were back to square one with no reconciliation in sight. Looking at MC's peaceful sleeping form, and her beautiful, naked ass Zen wondered, how much did he really need their permission or blessing to wed? Could he even count on them at all?

MC sighed again, this time opening and closing her tiny fist against his chest. So cute. Yes, patching up things with his folks could take a really long time, could maybe even never happen. He picked up one of MC's hands and brought it to his lips, feeling tears burning behind his eyes. Man, he didn't know if could wait that long. He didn't know if he could wait much longer at all.

Then the specter of Jumin came to mind. As much as he hated to admit it, that arrogant prick had a point. Zen did not have reliable financial means of taking care of her, and although he could already hear MC's voice in his head, professing how much she didn't care about such things, the traditionalist in Zen, the same side of himself that was holding out for his family's permission and approval, felt differently.

MC sighed again, and this time, her big beautiful brown eyes fluttered open. When she saw him, as always, she smiled.

"Zen," she breathed. "Good morning…"

Zen leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. "Hey, pretty girl…" he said.

"Were you watching me sleep?" she asked, all the sudden becoming conscious of her bare ass and pulling the fabric of her tee-shirt down.

"No, don't," Zen said, reaching out to grab her hand. "I like the view…" MC's cheeks flushed the most adorable shade of pink. "And, yes," he admitted. "I've been watching you sleep, for a bit."

"Oh?" MC said, playfully. "And what were you thinking about?" Her eyebrows waggled a bit provocatively and Zen quietly imagined telling her that he'd been thinking about proposing to her. Instead he asked her about her parents.

"Babe," he started. "I can't believe I'm just asking you this now… I mean, you've listened to me talk about my family, but I realized I don't know anything about yours…"

Zen watched as MC's features sunk in to sadness and she visibly shrank from his body. "Well, I…" she started, her eyes darting away. "There's not much to say…"

Zen could sense her shame and his instinct was to erase it immediately. "Look, babe," he said, gathering her up in his arms and pulling her closer, back to him. "Whatever it is, there's no way it'll change any part of how I feel for you…" he shook his silver-haired head fiercely. "God, I'm a little embarrassed I haven't asked until now… I mean, I guess it's the narcissist in me…"

"Wow," MC said. "You're admitting you're a narcissist?"

Zen smiled. "Well, yeah… like, duh…" he touched her cheek. "Just another thing you've awakened me to, Princess," he said. "I want to be better… I want to be a better man, for you, really."

"So you're asking me about my family?" she said.

"Yeah," Zen said. "Please."

MC paused and then sucked in a deep breath. "Well," she said. "I have a sister."

"A sister?" Zen said, feeling both shocked and a little excited. "Where is she? What is she like?"
"Hang on, babe," she said. "I think it's better if you just listen… Just let me tell it start to finish…"

Zen nodded and snuggled her closer, feeling all the sudden even more attached to her. Maybe he was about to find out that there was yet another reason why they belonged together, like maybe she didn't have a perfect family connection either. His heart swelled. God, this just made him love her even more.

"I've been alone for a long time..." she started. MC went on to explain how her father died when she was really young, in a car accident, that may or may not have been suicide. Her mother had passed a few years later, when MC was about ten, from a gastrointestinal form of cancer. As a result, MC and her older sister, Hae, had come to live with their grandparents, who were now dead.

"Halmeoni and Hal-abeoji both died within one year of each other," MC said, her eyes filling with tears. "Hae had already graduated from college and, well, yeah, I'd gone off to America to finish my degree…" MC sniffed and Zen knew her well enough to know tears were coming in earnest.

"Babe, I…" he said, rubbing the small of her back, his heart breaking for her.

"No," she said. "Let me finish…"

MC wiped her eyes and cleared her throat before she went on. "They thought I was in the clear…" she said. "I'm so glad they died thinking that… I would hate for them to know… about Kwang-jo, about me not ever finishing my degree…" she sobbed. "God, Zen… I'm so pathetic."

"Oh, god no, babe!" Zen cried, pulling her closer. He never wanted to protect her more in his life. "Oh, MC… god, if only you could see yourself how I see you… damn." He shook his head, quite certain that there was not a more perfect person than MC in existence. "If only you could see how much that shit doesn't matter… How proud your grandparents would have been, how your parents would feel, if they could see you now…" he sighed. "What you've done for me, surely, but moreover what you've done for our friends and the RFA organization. Damn… you are…" he searched for words and, as usual, came up with nothing that seemed even remotely to encapsulate the wonder that she was a person, so instead he just fell back on his usual… "God, I love you."

MC smiled. "Well," she said. "Looking at you definitely makes everything feel better…" She slid one hand from his chest to his boxers and gave him a sultry look, which made Zen's cock twitch. But he wasn't done yet.

"What about your sister?" he said.

"Hae?" MC said, frowning. "I'm sure she's doing well… Last time I checked, she was working for a high-powered real estate attorney firm in London, of all places… Yeah, Hae, she's a lawyer…" MC's face scrunched up into a sort of smile. "Yeah, you probably wouldn't like her much… All she cares about is power and money…" She paused a moment as if considering. "Yeah, I guess I don't really like her much, either, except for the fact that, well, she is my sister." Zen nodded. He could definitely relate. His older brother was very different than him, too, very focused, like his parents, on material wealth and status.

"So you guys don't get along?" Zen asked.

"No, not really…" MC said. "I mean, if I were in trouble or something I know I could call her… She would help me, most likely, but I'd never hear the end of it…"

"When was the last time you spoke to her?" Zen asked.

"When Halmeoni and Hal-abeoji died…" MC said, her brown eyes looking up at him, so big, so sad. "No, and she doesn't know about me and Kwang-jo, or the fact that I dropped out of school… I just couldn't face it…I mean, I know she would judge me."

MC scooted out from underneath the covers to sit up and turn to face Zen on the bed. "Why are you asking about my family, babe?" she said, scrutinizing his features as if looking for clues. "Like, all of the sudden?"

Zen felt his own face color slightly as he realized himself why he was asking. Yes, he was genuinely curious about MC's family, but the real reason he was asking was because he was planning on marrying her. There it was. He'd decided. He chuckled to himself. So here he was being a total narcissist after all… Asking about MC's family was, in a way, a means to an end, something he needed to do to get what he wanted, MC as his wife. God, he was hopeless.

Zen shrugged. "I was just thinking about it," he said. "That's all…" he leaned over to kiss her. "Thank you for telling me." He kissed her again, but this time the kiss was longer and deeper. He pushed her back down onto the pillows beneath him, letting his hands wander up underneath her tee-shirt to touch her bare stomach and then her breasts. Touching her always made Zen feel electric, but knowing now that someday soon this woman may be his wife, well that turned him on even more.

"Baby," MC said, between kisses. "It's Monday morning... remember, we've got to go to work…"

"Mmm…" Zen murmured, glancing at the clock. Damn, it was already past time to get up. He sat up and sighed, adjusting the hard on that was staking a tent in his shorts. "I guess this will have to wait until later…"

"Sorry, babe," MC said, dropping her eyes sympathetically to the bulge in his shorts and then she reached out to touch his cheek. "I promise I'll make it worth the wait…"

"Well, yeah, you're sweet," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "In the meantime though, well, duty calls…" Zen reluctantly pulled himself out of bed. Gradually, his thoughts began to shift to the coming day. He was not looking forward to eight hours plus on the set with Echo Girl, especially after this weekend's events. He doubted very much that she was going to be in any sort of mood to cooperate, not after what he said during the press conference at the RFA party… Not after the duet that he sang with MC instead of her… No, it wasn't going to be a good day at all.

Zen scowled and adjusted himself again in his boxer shorts. Damn. Not to mention the fact that he was also going to have to start this hellish day with this raging boner…

The rest of the morning had been rushed. MC and Zen barely made it out of the apartment on time. Then there had been more traffic than usual, so by the time Zen dropped MC off at C&R International, she was late by at least a good ten minutes. As MC removed her helmet and gathered her things, Zen looked up to see Jaehee standing at the window looking out. With a displeased look on her face, she lifted her wrist up and pointed to her watch. Zen fought an urge to flip her the bird, opting instead to remove his helmet and catch MC's arm as she started to rush away.

"Wait a sec, Princess," he said. "Come here." Zen pulled her body back to him for a kiss. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched with some pleasure as Jaehee scoffed and walked away from the window.

"Have a good day, Princess," he said, slapping her on the behind as she walked away.

"Zen!" MC said, the tips of her rosy cheeks blushing even more.

"Don't forget to eat a healthy lunch," he said. Even though he knew he was already late, Zen remained motionless at his bike to watch MC's hips sway back and forth as she walked all the way to the door and disappeared inside.

Zen arrived on the set fifteen minutes late. When he got there, Jeraldo, his hair and makeup artist, was tapping his little hoof.

"Where have you been, Zenny?" he said, flipping his long hair - it was blue, no mint this week - over one shoulder and looking pissed.

"One day I'm late," Zen said, irritably, throwing himself into the chair. "ONE day!" He glanced over at the next station, where Echo Girl's chair was still empty. "One day I'M late and yet EVERY DAY she's late…" Zen scowled and crossed his arms across his chest. "It's NOT fair."

"Nothing in life is fair," Jeraldo said. "You know this."

"Damn," Zen said, shaking his head. "Don't I ever!"

"Well, what's up with you?" Jeraldo said, laughing. "Did someone not get laid this morning?"

If looks could kill, Jeraldo would've dropped dead on the spot. If only he knew... "Damn!" Zen said, again. "That's enough, Jer, OK?"

"OK, so that's a 'no' then?" Jeraldo said with an effeminate giggle. The he began to dust Zen's face with powder. "Calm down, Zenny," he said, frowning. God, Zen hated it when he called him that. "When you get upset you make your face all red… If you're not careful, I'll have to break out the foundation."

Zen's complexion was so flawless, Jeraldo rarely had to apply more than a little powder to even out his look and get him camera ready. It was a point of pride for Zen, and so he purposefully took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

"Have you seen the papers yet this morning?" Jeraldo said, reaching back to grab something from behind him. "They're looking pretty favorable for you…" He handed Zen a copy of The Sun. The front cover showed a picture of himself and MC on stage. It was a shot from near the end of the song, when Zen had picked her up and was holding her in his arms. His heart swelled looking at the image. Even in this pixelated measly print his Princess looked heart-wrenchingly gorgeous.

"Isn't she beautiful?" he breathed.

"Yes, Zen," Jeraldo said, starting to work on his hair. "She is a vision."

The headline read "South Korea's New Most Adorable Couple - ZEN and MC - They're The REAL Deal"... Zen smiled to himself and quickly turned to page 14 to read more. It was a two page spread with two more pictures of himself and MC, another one from the duet and one of just him during the press conference. There was also a picture of Echo Girl, arms crossed over her chest, looking sullen in the audience. The inside headline read "ZEN and MC Most Beloved? Echo Girl Gets The Heave-Ho?". Zen skimmed the article.

The article was basically an all encapsulating expose on the More Than Friends Love Triangle. It started from the very beginning with the first Echo Girl/Zen scandal regarding the sexual harassment allegations and moved through the media warfare that went on between MC and Echo Girl. The article covered everything, including the yellow dress, the handkerchief, even the ill wish (which had actually turned out to be from Jumin, but since, surprise, surprise Jaehee had been doing her job, the media didn't know anything about it). It finished with the major events of the weekend… The Mystery Man article published in Enquire magazine, the Mystery Man then showing up as Echo Girl's date, Zen's subsequent press conference, and of course, Zen and MC's magical duet, which took over about six paragraphs. Zen's heart grew warm and full as he read one paragraph in particular:

"South Korea has never seen a sweeter, more adorable couple than the famous musical actor Zen and his long standing girlfriend, MC. The whole audience, heck, the whole world might as well have not been watching them sing together because the lovestruck couple only had eyes for each other throughout the entire performance. Instead of being off-putting, though, the performance had the opposite effect by pulling us in from the outside. In a rare moment, we didn't just get to see, we got to experience the pure, loving, sensual chemistry between them. Zen and MC didn't just show us what love is, they showed us what love could be… selfless, sensuous, beautiful...a true partnership not to be touched, nor broken, by the petty, selfish whims of a jilted rival."

To Zen's surprise, there was no mention of the brawl between Zen and Kwang-jo in the main article, but his heart jumped in his throat when he saw the prompt at the end: "See the Back Page for more about ZEN and MC's MYSTERY MAN". With shaky fingers, he flipped the paper around to the back page…

"South Korea's Most Up and Coming Musical Actor ZEN - What a KNOCKOUT!" … There was a picture of Zen, his hands wrapped around Kwang-jo's neck, pressing him up against a pillar. The perspective of the picture was over the other man's shoulder, so Zen's twisted, angry face featured prominently. Zen breathed a quick sigh of relief when he saw that he still appeared handsome. The way he'd been feeling in that moment he was choking Kwang-jo was so ugly, he'd thought he'd looked just as ugly, too.

"Yeah, you look pretty tough there, cowboy," Jeraldo quipped, looking over his shoulder. "Damn near thought about jumping you myself…"

"Aw man, come on, Jer…" Zen said almost apologetically. "I told you I don't swing that way…"

"Doesn't mean a boy can't try…" Jeraldo said, running a finger lightly down the side of Zen's neck. Zen jumped.

"Jeraldo!" Zen yelped. "Seriously!"

"All I'm saying is keep me in mind if you ever think about playing for the other team…" Jeraldo said, putting the finishing touches on Zen's hair with a mist of spray.

Zen skimmed the back page article, which was basically a play-by-play of the incident between him and Kwang-jo. They had it about right, that both men had clashed over MC, and Zen had finally lunged at the man following "lewd and lecherous comments directed at his girlfriend". The article went on to say that the "Mystery Man" was acting at the behest of, and under the full direction of Echo Girl herself. They even had a quote from Kwanjo himself saying "Yeah, Echo Girl approached me from the start, promising me a string of prominent DJ gigs… All I had to do was go see MC outside her yoga studio on a certain day and time." Zen breathed a sigh of relief. There was no mention of Kwang-jo's prior relationship with MC. She would be happy about that.

Overall the piece characterized Zen favorably… In the media's opinion, he was a knight in shining armor defending his princess against a villainous foe, who had set upon the princess at the demand of a wicked witch. Zen smiled. Although he didn't know if he deserved to get let off the hook so easily for his bad behavior, all said and done, he was good with that narrative.

Zen was just finishing the article when Echo Girl strode in and slumped down in the chair opposite. Zen glanced up.

"What are you looking at?" she said, without looking at him.

Echo Girl's hair and makeup specialist had a job ahead of her today. Kyungju looked awful. Her eyes were sunken, the skin around them puffy and dark. Her blonde hair was a mess - it looked like she hadn't even combed it herself before leaving the house. If Zen didn't know better, he might've felt sorry for her, or at least a little bad, but then he remembered the smug, self-satisfied look she had on her face when she had Kwang-jo on her arm.

"Nothing, Kyungju," he said. "I'm looking at nothing."

That day on the set was even worse than Zen imagined it would be, and what he had imagined was pretty awful. They were shooting Season 2, episode 5, which was titled "The Perfect Date". In the scene they were shooting today, Jae-joon was taking Ji-yoo to a pizza restaurant, one part of the "perfect date" he had planned in response to her complaint in episode 4 that her Lovey-hubby never takes her anywhere. At the restaurant, Jae-joon was supposed to profess his love for Ji-yoo and apologize for taking her for granted, and then Ji-yoo was supposed to accept his apology and, as written in the script directions, "completely melt and reach for Jae-joon's hands across the table".

Well, it was nearly lunchtime and they were still working on the same couple of lines. Zen's line was "Love-hunny, I promise you, no I swear to you, that things will be different from now on… I'm going to do everything I can, every day, to show you how much I love you". Echo Girl's line in response was, or was supposed to be per the script, "Oh Lovey-hubby, this is perfect, you're perfect, it's everything I imagined… All I'm asking for is a little quality time with you because I love you so much."

Zen was having a hard time shooting this scene in the first place. The last thing he wanted to do after this weekend's events was apologize and profess his undying love for this wicked girl. After the fifth take, Zen was convinced Kyungju was deliberately fucking with him by sabotaging the scene, just so she could watch him have to profess his love and apologize to her over and over again.

"I'm not exactly sure what the writers mean by these stage directions," Echo Girl said at one point. "I mean, what does it mean to 'completely melt' exactly... Just how do they expect me to portray that?"

This particular problem ate up about an hour of set time, requiring a writer and an acting coach to come out to explain and direct Echo Girl accordingly.

"It's really in the eyes," the acting coach said. "Think of it as a general softening… Have you ever heard the expression 'my heart just completely melted'? What's that thing for you? What makes your heart go to pieces?"

Kyungju just looked at the coach like she was nuts. "If you want 'soft eyes' isn't that a job for makeup?"

Zen sighed. Echo Girl either just totally didn't get it or she was that hell bent on fucking with him. Either way, if he wasn't such a professional, he would've walked out of there and never come back.

At least he got to take five while Echo Girl had her impromptu acting lesson. Zen used the time to find a quiet place in the hallway to try and call his mother. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?" she said, sounding a little breathless.

"Umma?" Zen said. "It's me, Hyun."

"Oh, hello!" she said. "Just a minute, Lorna."

Who's Lorna? Zen thought. Then the line was quiet for a moment. Zen thought he could hear his mother shuffling around and then a door shut.

"Oh Hyun," she said, finally. "I'm sorry, but I had to go outside… Your father is here. You know how he gets…"

"Umma," Zen said. "I know. I'm sorry if I'm causing you problems, but I just had to speak to you…"

"Hyun, is something wrong?" she said.

"No, Umma," he said. "I'm OK… Look, I really wanted to thank you for sending the necklace… I gave it to MC and she loved it."

"Oh, Hyun, I'm so glad," Hyun's mother said.

"Umma," Hyun said. "Listen, I just found out something about MC, something important…"

"What is it, Hyun?" his mother asked.

"Umma, she's alone without family, orphaned…" he said, his heart breaking again having to say it out loud. "She has no one. She needs me. She needs us."

His mother was quiet on the other end of the line.

"Umma?" Hyun said. "You still there?" He thought he could hear her breathing. "I want to marry her, Umma…" He felt the tears burning behind his eyes again. "I need you and Appa to help with the Eui hon, the matchmaking. It's important to me that you both meet and approve of my bride…"

"Oh Hyun," his mother said. Zen thought he heard a familiar catch in her voice and he pictured her gray eyes welling up with tears. "You are contemplating the traditional joining of the families? Truly?"

"Umma," Zen said. "I want to do the right thing by you… That's one thing MC has helped me to realize… Family ties are important… I can see that, now so especially… How can I continue to keep my family at arm's length when MC has none but a sister?"

"Oh Hyun," his mother said. "I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that…but I don't know… Your father is still so…"

"Umma, I know he's angry," Hyun said. "But it's me, your son… and your future daughter-in-law." He paused. "Look Umma, I want to do the right thing by you, but if Appa is unwilling, I'm going to do it anyway…I need to… MC… I need to do right by her. We need to be a family."

He heard his mother sigh deeply on the other end of the line.

"Umma," Zen said, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Please help me… She loves me for me. I promise you. She doesn't care for looks, if you're worried about that."

"Hyun," his mother said, finally. "I will speak to your father, but I cannot promise it will do any good."

"All I ask is that you try, Umma," Hyun said. "I love you, you know. I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too, my ahdeu," she said.

When he hung up the phone, Zen put his face in his hands and cried. His heart was breaking for himself, for his mother, for MC. He hardly ever thought about it, but the reality was that he was, and had been for so long, so alone in the world. Now, to find out that MC was just as alone as he was, well, he was so grateful they had found each other.

Zen was wiping his eyes dry when the bell rang, recalling all actors back to the set. He picked up his phone, turned on the camera and took a selfie. His eyes were even more red than usual and puffy from crying. He'd have to swing by and visit Jeraldo before he returned to work.

Overall, though, Zen felt better. He was doing his best to do the right thing and include his family, but he also knew if his father didn't come around, he was going to move forward. He was going to marry MC no matter what. If he couldn't patch things up with his own family, well at the very least him and MC would make their own.

Impulsively, he dialed MC's number. He needed to speak to her before he returned to the set. She picked up right away.

"Zen!" she said her voice full of joy. "Have you eaten lunch yet?"

Zen smiled to himself. She was so cute, always concerning herself so much about his well being. He'd be a lucky guy to make this girl his wife. His heart swelled with love and gratitude.

"I haven't eaten yet, but I plan to," he said. "What about you, pretty girl? Did you eat a healthy lunch?"

"I'm eating a salad at my desk," MC said. "It's got kale AND spinach in it, so I guess you could call that healthy…"

"Oh that's good then," he said.

"What did you need?" MC said.

"Oh, I just wanted to hear your voice…" Zen said, feeling his voice cracking, the tears coming again.

"Zen," MC said, sounding concerned. "What is it? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine…" Zen said with a sniff.

"Is it Echo Girl?" MC said with an edge in her voice. "Because I'll come over there and beat her ass…"

Hearing MC say that and than imagining her showing up on set to deliver Echo Girl a knuckle sandwich, well that just made Zen laugh.

"Oh god, MC," he chuckled. "I just love you."

MC was quiet for a moment. Zen could tell she was thinking.

"Babe, what is UP with you today?" she said. "You've been acting really strange, really emotional, all day long… Should I be worried?"

"No, no, babe…" Zen said, waving her off. "No, seriously, everything is rosy… I mean, yeah, things are shit with Echo Girl, but that's just business as usual these days… Honestly, babe, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you… that's all."

MC was quiet again for a moment, probably trying to assess whether or not he was telling the truth.

"Well, OK…" She said, finally. "Well, I love you, too, you big nerd."

"See you later?" Zen said.

"See you later…" MC said, but she didn't hang up. Zen could tell because he could still hear her breathing.

"Babe?" Zen said. "You going to hang up?"
"I was hoping you'd hang up first…" MC said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. She was probably biting her bottom lip, and the image made Zen squirm.

"Let's hang up at the same time," he said. "I'll count to three…"

"OK," she said. "You have to promise you'll really hang up, though…"

"I will," Zen said. God, she was so cute. "I promise… OK, one… two… three…"

Zen hit call "END" but he knew it was anything but… He was going to be with this girl for the rest of his life. Images of their life together flashed through his mind. MC wearing white walking down the aisle. MC underneath him as he made love to her on their honeymoon. MC with a big belly, cute and pregnant. MC cradling their little baby, then later teaching their child to walk, to ride a bike… Then much later, MC standing by his side watching their son or daughter graduate from school, getting married… Then MC getting older, him adoring the crow's feet forming around her eyes… His heart swelled, bubbling over with affection and anticipation looking forward to their beautiful life… Damn, he was going to be loving MC with his whole heart forever… and he couldn't wait.

Author's notes: Shout out to the reader who reminded me about Zen's family situation… I think that aspect of the story makes this bit so much richer. Looks like we have about three chapters left to this story… Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, etc. I LOVE hearing from you… :-) :-)