I remained quiet walking all the way back home. I was still... heh, I don't know what to call it. I guess it's a mix of confusion, regret, and broken beliefs. Blinded... I kept thinking to myself. Blinded... for so long... So comes the term you can't see your own nose on your face, heh... I've done goofed. I've effed up. I'm...

I shook my head frustratingly. Despite all this, I'm still looking for a salvation, trying to see if there was no problem at all, and that the others are just trying to get into my head. But I see none. I see no cloak, no illusion; nothing. I am the problem. I caused this mess. I... am a monster.

The thought of that... it made me shiver. An angry tear slid out of my eye. Going back and forth between two beliefs, trying to find which one was right and which one was wrong. It was like trying to compare two bibles with two very different beliefs. I need to clear my head, I thought to myself, Kirlia... she'll help me, right?

Kirlia... She was very patient towards me. If she gets angry, she normally expresses it in poems or riddles, that sort of stuff. Really cryptic. I told myself that I would never fall for her seemingly bullcrap advice, but... maybe 'bullcrap' advice is really what I need...

Finally reaching the apartment, Sam and Jonathan laid down on their beds for a while before deciding that they were gonna go to a nearby restaurant to eat some quick lunch. After they left, the tension inside the room immediately rised. I could feel it... Spark's, Adam's, Vivico's, and even Arthur's eyes all boring into the back of my skull. It was a highly unpleasant feeling.

Feeling cast out, I walked towards Kirlia, who was staring off outside the window. "Kirlia?" I asked her as politely as I could. She turned her head towards me, her red eyes gleaming in the sunlight. "I... I need your help." I felt my cheeks go red hot saying that, extremely embarrassed with myself.

She just stared at me, her gaze seemingly piercing through my body. After a minute, a faint smile appeared on her face. "You've finally come to your senses haven't you?" She asked, slightly amused. "I never thought this day would come." She added.

I was startled by her accurate diagnosis. "H-how did you...?"

"You had that look on your face. One that I've never seen on you. Regret, fear, confusion. I don't recall you ever feeling like that."

"Don't rub it in, Kirlia." I growled, annoyed at her smug attitude. "Are you going to help me or not?"

Kirlia stared off again, but I knew that's how she normally concentrates. After a few minutes, she looked at me again. I could tell that she was going to give me some sort of mysterious advice. "A crime physically done can be healed, but a harrassment mentally done takes much more than time. A stain on a shirt can be easily cleaned, but a hole in a heart will take time to mend."

I blinked a few times, not understanding what she's trying to say. "Er... what?"

Kirlia sighed. "You have signed a forbidden contract that should have been thrown away. You've locked yourself in a cell from which you cannot escape."

"Speak english please?"

"...A verdict has been made."

"What?" Urgh, I hate it when I don't understand her. It's so frustrating!

"Guilty. Of all charges. Fifteen years sentence. Lucky you avoided death penalty."

"Okay, I'm tired of all your bullcrap!" I yelled at her. "Just. Say. What. You. MEAN!"

Kirlia stared at me. Her red eyes scanned me up and down, analysing me. My mind was racing. What the hell is wrong with her!? Can't she understand my predicament!?

"Keith..." She started. "I think I've made it clear, haven't I?"

"THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" I yelled at her. Her stinking pride, thinking she's better than everyone! I had to say a swear word just to emphasize what a b-word she is! "JUST EXPLAIN!"

But Kirlia remained quiet.

I was going insane, mad! I was losing my mind! What is she trying to do, get me to snap? Break me down? Whine like a baby? I don't know, I just don't know. Haha, I think I'm mad. I think she's doing it; she's breaking me down, but I can't break down. I'm a tough kid! But that's what she's trying to prove against, right? Trying to show me that I'm not strong; that I'm weak, pathetic, a fucking useless dirtbag!

Angry, hot tears were streaming out of my eyes. I slowly crumpled down, falling to my knees. I needed her advice, there's no one else who would support me. I was desperate. "Kirlia, please!" I cried, practically begging. "Just... just make something clear, okay!? Even it's just one word. Just say something that my retarded brain can understand!

Kirlia seemed shocked at my behavior. I'm sure that in her mind that she would never think that I would go down to such a level. "...Alright." She finally gave in. "If you want to know the answer to your predicament, follow me." She walked towards one of the beds and jumped onto it. Still crying, I followed suit.

Once on the bed, Kirlia ordered me to lay down, resting my head on the soft, fluffy pillow. Then she handed me a pen and paper. "Now, here's how this is gonna work." She explained. "You're going to take a nap. I'm going to enhance the mental energy in your brain in order to make a dream. Whatever you see, hear, or do, I want you to express it in a picture or a paragraph later. Got it?"

Although unsure how this was going to help me at all, I was desperate and I needed hope. Never have I felt so weak in my entire life. I nodded weakly. Slowly, I felt myself drifting away... floating... swimming... my mind running backwards in time, my body being hurled through space...

...

And suddenly, I landed on solid ground. Looking around, I seemed to be in a theater. But it was full of Pokémon instead of humans. The opening intro for the movie was about to start, but there was something oddly familiar about this place... Normally, almost every memory I have of my childhood was vague, but this place... I know I've been here before, I just can't put my finger on it...

But as soon as I saw the film's name, I remembered. The film... titled 'The Loyal Dog'. I suddenly knew that I didn't want to be in here. I wanted to get out, I must! But when I tried to get out of my seat, I noticed that my hands and feet were chained to the seat. Everyone was looking at me. A Growlithe that I never wanted to remember ever again was sitting beside me. And they were laughing... laughing... laughing at me. I was being laughed at. I felt my dignity shatter before my very eyes. Everything was coming back to me... the reason I wanted to hide my feelings forever...

...

Suddenly I was back in reality. I was sitting upright in the bed, gasping for air. Kirlia hopped onto the bed again. "That was fast." She commented, seeing the sweat on my face. "But I think it was enough."

"More than enough..." I said weakly. My chest hurts. My head was pounding. Sweat dripped all over me. Never would I think that I would go back there again...

Without thinking, I grabbed the pen and paper that Kirlia gave me earlier on. I drew a simple, but very self-explanatory picture. It was a picture of a Vulpix surrounded by the shadows of various Pokémon, all of them laughing while the Vulpix weeped and silently cried. I even drew a movie ticket with the film's name on it just to further explain the picture. I handed it over to Kirlia, who examined it carefully. She raised her eyebrow, clearly curious with its hidden meaning.

"Keith..." She looked at me, but not in a way that I've ever seen her look at me before. I saw pity in her eyes. It was like she was looking sympathetically at a poor, lost puppy, all alone and wet in the rain. "Keith, if I had known this... maybe I wouldn't behave as I normally behave around you..."

I stared at her, confused. "Wh-whatever do you mean by that?" I asked.

Kirlia sighed. "I didn't know that you had a trauma for emotions. It's such a terrible thing; to be afraid of everything you do because you don't want the world to know who you truly are underneath."

"Kirlia, it's not terrible –"

"You say that because that's how you've been living ever since you watch that movie." She interrupted. "I wonder what kind of person you would be if you never watched that..." I was beginning to imagine it already. I'd still be the same me before... before the incident happened. "Keith, I know that I might be pushing you a bit hard right now, but could you describe that incident to me?

I felt as though that Kirlia had just kicked me in the gut. She's asking me to relive that horrifying moment!? "Kirlia, I-I don't know if I c-can..."

"If you can't then that's fine." Kirlia replied calmly, shrugging her shoulders. "Maybe some other time."

As soon as she jumped off the bed, I reached breaking point. I wasn't weak, not that weak anyway. And I want to prove it to her. Even if it feels like a million daggers stabbing my ribs... I must conquer fear – right in the face.

"It... it was Saturday evening..." I started. Kirlia noticed that I was reciting my memories, so she came back to listen. "Arthur had convinced me to watch this movie. He said that a friend told him that it was really good, so he wanted to see if it was true. When I heard the title, I first thought that it might have been some sort of action movie, a war dog maybe. But towards the end of the film, I soon regretted agreeing."

"It was a tragedy tale, not an action-packed film. A Pokémon's love, forever loyal to its trainer who one day suddenly died during a freak accident outside town. No one wanted to tell the poor thing that his trainer had passed. Since he didn't know, he just waited... and waited... and waited... slowly getting thinner day by day, night by night... and he continued waiting... and waiting... and waiting... He didn't care how long, he just wanted his trainer back. He believes that his trainer would never abandon him, maybe he's just really delayed. So he continued to wait... and wait... and wait... and wait... until he –"

I gulped. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth, but I kept pushing on. "Until that Pokémon eventually starved..."

The same tears I had from when I watched that movie reappeared again today, as tears streamed down my face and onto the bed. "Th-there was a Growlithe beside me. I asked for some tissue, a-and... he laughed. He just laughed. He said: "Dude, seriously? That movie was cheap shit! Wasn't sad at all!" And then he told his entire gang about it and all of them laughed, mocking me for being so sensitive... From that day I promised myself; that I should never be so sensitive ever again."

My paw shaking, I reached for one my six tails behind me. From inside the curl I produced a piece of paper. That piece of paper was actually the very ticket from that movie. "I-I still keep this... to remind me of that oath I made that day, I-I even look at it every night before I go to bed. I never want to be weak, not again. I don't want to look like a... like a... like a weakling!"

My last word rang out through the entire room. Arthur and the others just glared at me, thinking that they were the ones being called a weakling, but they shurgged it off. Kirlia only stared sadly at me. I wiped a few tears off my eyes, waiting for her response, but she doesn't say anything. "Wh-what is it, K-Kirlia?" I asked her, my voice hoarse from crying. "Y-you have nothing to say?"

Kirlia just shook her head. "For the first time, you've made me stumped." She sighed. "Before you and I met for the first time, or at least before I was traded from Sam's ownership to Jonathan, this is a problem that I cannot answer."

"Wh-what do you mean you can't answer it?"

"I'm saying that... this a deeply personal wound. That wound's effect on you has obviously changed your demeanor and attitude. It also affects your actions. Everything that you do has always been linked to concealing your emotions. Showing no emotions to your friends however... It's like saying that you don't care."

I just looked down at the floor sadly, my paws shaking. My own oath caused this. "What do I do know?" I asked her softly. "How can I fix this?"

Kirlia thought for a second, before her eyes fixed on something. "What's that behind you?"

Looking over my shoulder, I saw a small book. Picking up, I saw the title was How to be a better friend. Kirlia looked at it too. "Didn't realize that you brought this."

"I... I didn't bring it Kirlia?"

"Then why does it have a library stamp on it?" Looking closer, I saw the library stamp. The book would have been needed to be scanned if it wanted to go through the detector without raising an alarm

"M-maybe Sam borrowed it?"

"I didn't see Sam bring anything back. Nor did Jonathan."

I looked down at the book again. "...You think it's a blessing?" I asked her. She looked at me weirdly. "I know, I know... that sounds ridiculous. But maybe it's a sign? The first step to fixing this all?"

Kirlia just shrugged. "If that's what you wish to believe then." She said.

I spent the entire next hour reading the book. In that amount of time I had finished reading halfway. The book was short but its contents were clear and straightforward. I read one part that says that if you made a mistake, you should apologize – with a gift if you want. Well, everyone knows that! Though... how should I apologize? There's different methods to it obviously. I'll just go with a simple, straightforward apology, along with some explanations.

I looked around. Who should I apologize to first?

Arthur? Nah, he's probably still mad at me.

Spark? Same with Arthur.

Adam? He'd never accept an apology from me!

Vivico? Might be the safest option.

I walked towards the Leafeon, who was basking in the sunlight through the window. "Hey, Vi?" I asked her. She looked at me, and I could tell that she wasn't too pleased. "Can I just say something?"

"Of course, Monsieur Keith. Go right ahead!"

"C-can I just..." My heart felt heavy with lead. I didn't realize that it would so difficult to say sorry to someone. "Can I just say s-sorry about this morning? A-and everything that I've ever done to you?"

She just stared at me for a minute, and then she smiled sweetly. "You are admitting your mistakes?" She asked.

Was I really such a pain in the arse? I thought. "Y-yes," I answered quickly.

"Oui! Then I accept your apology." I breathed a sigh of relief. That was... easy, I guess? But the others won't be so forgiving...