Chapter 18: One, Two?

May 20th, 2010.

I had another dream tonight, it was vivid and disturbing,

That's all I have to say.

July 19th, 1987.

I grew up in this house. I guess I'd never realised how high up my favourite climb was... I guess I shouldn't have been up here anyway, not at twenty-four weeks pregnant, but what's life without a little risk taking?

In case I don't see you grow up, I want to say that I love you Clarisse Olivia Reynolds.

To the moon and back and infinity and beyond.

Love, Mom.

29 years ago, my mother was told she'd be having a baby girl, me in case that wasn't obvious. And then 10 years later, she was diagnosed. It was earth shattering.

In this journal, you'll find out a lot about me and your father.

You've already gotten my opinion on the sperm donor I was supposed to call father.

But my mother is something I didn't want to tell you about.

She was a kind woman, always pushed me to do my best in school. She was the reason I was fully educated, the reason I'll make sure you have everything in life.

I wanted this to be a funny story, something that would make you laugh when I'm gone, but I've revised that and now?

Well, only the last part of the companies journey has to be sad.

I won't tell you about it here, we still have a way to go.

Your father loved you, he still loves you.

But I digress.

If you're reading this...

It means I've failed.

This story is not fiction, this is a true story, hopefully you'll be older when you find this under the papers on my desk.

As I sit to writing this, I am three months pregnant... Again. You're going to have another sibling, Your uncle Kili is so excited, Uncle Thorin is rolling his eyes whenever we tell him of another baby on the way... We only have two!... For now. Your Grandmother Dis adores you all so much! She's excited to have another addition to the already inflated Durin clan. Your father is cursing in the nursery, I suspect he's dropped another block of wood on his foot, Gloin and Dwalin are laughing their butts off at him, Kili is reading over my shoulder, breathing down my neck, I'd like to smack him right now.

Your siblings were crying a minute ago, Glenda went to sort them, settling them down to sleep. I wonder if they need feeding, she's been such a help, so has Irena.

I can't wait to meet you.

This family needs more happiness recently, I'm sad that Oin isn't around to deliver you, Tauriel is going to be helping me this time, Sigrid too. Cousin Balin and Ori aren't here either, they'll be back soon though, they just went to get Bilbo.

I've got to end this here for the time being.

I love you.

So much.

To the moon and back. Infinity and beyond.