AN: Hello everyone! I'm here with a long-overdue chapter of PUDDIN!

Oh man... I'm... I'm sorry it's taken me so long. I was swept up in a bunch of other stories and I didn't really stop to give this one a second look. Excelsior pretty much took over all of my brain space. Well, that and the rewrites for Star Wars and Korra that I plan to get to eventually.

But I have reread all of the Puddin chapters I have written here and I am filled with renewed vigor to complete this fic! I even made a brand new outline and I CAN SEE THE ENDING! There are going to be a few changes, but I'll highlight those as we go.

I know that it has been a long time and some people might have forgotten what was going on. I'd recommend checking chapter 11 Puddin KAI to get a refresher and then read from there.

Finally, eternal thanks to my lovely beta annbe11. She helped me get through this chapter that I've been procrastinating on since the summer. She's got a bunch of great stories you really need to check out. I'd highly recommend her new DOTA: Dragon's Blood fic High Priestess Marci. If you don't know who Marci is, she's the best and most precious character in that show. She's mute, she's cute, and she wrecks shit! Go check it out.

Chapter 13 –Saiyans Attack! Redeem Yourself, Puddin!

The air was tense at the battleground. The Z-Warriors held firm, keeping in their fighting stances as the two Saiyans before them stood completely at ease. The wind blew over the rocky wasteland they stood in, kicking up tiny dust storms as it went.

Prince Vegeta smiled cruelly, his eyes glinting like obsidian daggers. Next to him, Nappa had a happy, somewhat oblivious grin on his face. His eyes were darting back and forth between the gathered warriors as if trying to decide which of them he wanted to play with first.

The Z-Warriors trembled, feeling the sheer overwhelming power of the two alien conquerors before them. They were like wolves looming over an errant flock of sheep, ready to turn them into a violent, bloody meal. All that the defenders of Earth could do was stand their ground and try to hold out long enough for Goku to arrive.

If that didn't work, there was little hope for them. And by extension, the entire world.

"Freezus Iced, this is taking forever."

From behind a giant rock pillar over a hundred yards away, Puddin looked from the posing warriors to the watch on her wrist. To make sure the timeline resolved itself to the most optimal outcome, she had to wait for a bit more time until she could intervene, but this was starting to get ridiculous. She knew how the battles of Universe 7 went. She had studied them to a great extent while she was at the Academy. But that still hadn't quite prepared her for just how tedious this wait was becoming.

"You must learn some patience if you want to move forward with being a Time Patroller, recruit."

Puddin sighed and glowered at the ground. She had put a great deal of mental effort into making herself forget that she had a chaperon for this mission, but all that effort had just come crumbling down at Elder Kai's words.

"Why do we need patience?" she asked, looking back at the warriors. "We're time travelers, Elder Kai. We don't need patience. Why not just go three minutes in the future to when they actually decide to do something?" She looked back over her shoulder and opened her mouth to continue, but her next question died on her lips as she stared at her minder.

"What's the problem, recruit?" Elder Kai asked. He stood a few feet away from her with his hands clasped behind his back. Puddin blinked a few times before she finally remembered how to speak.

"Wha… what's with the glasses, Elder Kai?"

"Hmm? These?" said Elder Kai, lifting a hand to adjust the pair of mustache glasses he wore. "I meet these guys a few years from now. I don't want to take any risks that they might recognize me further down the line. Being in the Time Patrol is about being careful, you see."

"But the timeline fixes itself if we do this right," said Puddin. "What's the point if no one will remember us anyway?"

"And who are you going to believe?" Elder Kai huffed, putting his hands on his hips and looking offended. "Some boring old lesson or a god who has lived for millions of years?"

"Well…" Puddin said, scratching her head. "Considering you spent the last seventy-five million years stuck in a sword, I wouldn't exactly call you an authority on stuff like this, old man."

"You take that back!" Elder Kai snapped. "I'm a highly respected Kai of this Universe! I don't have to put up with such insults from a child!"

Puddin would have been more than happy to continue this conversation with Elder Kai, but her thoughts were interrupted by a huge explosion. Puddin blinked in surprise and peeked around the rock again. The Z-Warriors were mostly still where they had been before, but now Yamcha was curled up dead in a crater.

"Nyah~! That's my cue!" she said excitedly. She jumped out from behind cover just as Nappa made his move, lunging forward ready to bring down a lethal blow on Krillin. Puddin pushed off the ground so hard that the stone cracked underneath her. She flew through the air, blurring past the other Z-Warriors before shoving Krillin out of the way of the killing blow. Nappa stared at the shattered rock beneath his hands, confused as to where his victim had gone, before his eyes traveled up toward Puddin.

She grinned at him with her sharp teeth. "Welcome to Earth," she said happily before she punched Nappa in the nose.

"Gah!" he cried out, stumbling back and holding his face. "What hit me?!"

Vegeta blinked in dumbfounded silence for a moment.

"Oh god, a highlighter threw up on some crayons," the Prince said.

Puddin gave him a deadpan look "Ugh. I don't need fashion tips from Mr. Shoulder Pads, thank you," she responded. "No matter how spiky you make them, they won't make you look any taller."

"How dare you insult my Royal Super Deluxe Saiyan Battle Space Armor!" Vegeta roared. "I'll take your head for this! Nappa! Kill her!"

The bald Saiyan stood back up straight and readied himself for a fight. He gave Puddin a particularly angry glare as he powered up.

"You just ruined my latest nose job! I'll never forgive you for that, rainbow cat lady!"

"Bring it on!" Puddin snapped, getting ready for a fight.

"Does anyone have the slightest idea what's happening?!" Tien suddenly yelled. "No, seriously guys! What the actual fuck is going on?!"

Puddin turned over her shoulder to look at the man curiously. "We're about to start a fight."

"Duh!" said Nappa.

"I really don't think we have time for this, idiot," growled Piccolo.

"But where did she come from?! Why is she grey and goopy?! What color-blind maniac designed that costume?! These are questions that I demand answers to!"

Puddin stood up straight and tapped her chin contemplatively.

"Well, in order. I came from some demon magic, a cat, and my daddy's severed hand. I look like my daddy. And my daddy designed it with his personal color scheme."

Tien blinked at her for a few moments.

"Your dad sounds weird."

"And you have three eyes," responded Puddin. "What's your point?"

"Sneak attack!" roared Nappa, leaping at her from behind. His fist came around in a wild haymaker with enough force to knock a person's head clean off their shoulders. Puddin just ducked under the Saiyan's attack, the wind from it only slightly jostling her gooey ponytail. The wasteland suddenly became very, very quiet.

"My bad. I didn't know we were starting," said Puddin, glancing back at Nappa. "Sorry if you were feeling impatient."

"Wow. You're fast," said Nappa, now looking at her with an excited smile. "Let's see if you're faster than me."

Puddin smirked. "That's what she said."

Nappa blinked curiously at her. "Wait, that's what who said? Who is 'she'? Vegeta! Is someone talking about me behind my back?!"

Vegeta was rubbing his temples with his eyes squeezed shut, looking like he was trying to teleport to a faraway land through sheer force of will.

"Nappa, I'm sure that there are countless millions that talk and laugh about you behind your back, but I have never cared and I'm not about to start now. Just… just get back to killing these idiots so we can find something better to do."

"Okay, Vegeta!" Nappa said happily. "I feel like squishing the baby first." In a sudden blur of motion, Nappa had sped past the Z-Warriors and raised his foot to stomp directly on Gohan. The only thing the little boy could do was stare open-mouthed at the hulking Saiyan looming over him.

"Yoink!"

When Nappa's foot crashed onto the ground, Gohan was gone.

"Wait, what?" Krillin and Nappa said at the same time.

"Don't worry, kid. I gotcha." Puddin was standing a few yards away, holding Gohan in her arms. She smiled down at the very surprised young boy before nuzzling his cheek. "Oh, you are even more adorable than I read you were!"

"No! Get off!" whined the boy, trying to push her away. "Stranger danger!"

"Welp, that didn't work," Nappa said glumly before he gave a comical shrug. "Oh well, I'll move on to the Pokemon."

"Wait, what?!" shouted Chiaotzu before Nappa turned to him.

"Mega Kick!" yelled Nappa, punting the doll-like fighter so hard he went flying over one of the spires of rock. Nappa grinned as he watched. "It's super effective."

"Chiaotzu! No!" shouted Tien, who flew after his injured friend.

"What's the big idea?!" Piccolo demanded, whirling around to look at Puddin. "Why didn't you protect him like you did Gohan?!"

"Eh," Puddin said with a shrug. "He'll be fine."

"No, he won't!" protested Gohan. "If someone takes a hit with that much kinetic force behind it, it could lead to fracturing of the ribcage, causing incredible pain at best and, at worst, creating bone fragments that can puncture vital organs and-"

"NEEEERRRRDDD!" yelled Piccolo, Nappa, and Vegeta all at the same time. It was actually kind of surreal.

Gohan pouted while Puddin smiled and patted his head.

"Look on the bright side. You're still cute."

"Please don't patronize me, ma'am," Gohan said with a sigh.

Puddin would have happily spent all day doting on tiny child Gohan, but unfortunately, there was still a fight going on. Piccolo had seized the opportunity now that Nappa was distracted to hit him with a snap kick to the back of his head. It flung the Saiyan warrior forward a few steps, but not much more than that.

"That wasn't very nice," said Nappa, looking over his shoulder to glare at Piccolo. "Didn't your mom tell you it's rude to hit people in the back?"

"Nope. He never had a mom," Puddin explained while Piccolo just stood there trembling.

"Then you have my condolences!" yelled Nappa as he sent a vicious uppercut into Piccolo's gut. The Namekian was sent flying into the air, but Puddin caught him before he could go very far. She hovered there in the air, with Gohan clutched in one arm and a groaning Piccolo in the other, and glared down at Nappa.

"Don't you talk to me, my precious little half-Saiyan baby, or my grumpy big green baby ever again!"

"Okay…" grumbled Nappa.

"Wait! W-What about the rest of us?!" asked Krillin. Tien and Chiaotzu landed behind him, Chiaotzu, in particular, looking a bit worse for wear.

"Oh right, forgot about you," said Puddin.

"Yeah…" Nappa said with a smile as he cracked his knuckles and advanced on the other Z-Warriors. "Let's 'talk'…"

Nappa was rearing an arm back for his next attack when Puddin suddenly realized she had made an error. Krillin was one of the people who needed to survive. Piccolo wasn't. She rolled her eyes, but this was okay. She just needed to get a little more involved.

She spun in the air and flung her leg out in a wide roundhouse kick. As she came around, her leg stretched out to ridiculous proportions. With a sound like a cracking whip, Puddin's extended leg wrapped tight around Nappa's wrist.

"Huh?!" said the Saiyan brute.

"Wh-what's wrong with your leg?!" asked a frightened Gohan.

"Kid, I've got legs for days," said Puddin.

"Legs for days?"

"Legs for days. Nyah~!"

Suddenly, Puddin spun like a tornado. Her leg pulled taught and Nappa was yanked off the ground with a scream. Puddin spun and spun and spun, smashing Nappa through boulders and rock pillars or scraping him against the ground. She heard a shout of protest come through her scouter as she pinged Nappa off a boulder.

"What what you're doing, recruit! You almost took me out with that!" Elder Kai yelled.

If only Puddin could be so lucky…

Deciding against antagonizing the elderly god, Puddin just jerked her leg straight up, lifting the still-screaming Nappa way up into the air, before swinging him straight down into the ground. He impacted with a loud BOOM as he cracked through the stony ground and sank almost down almost half a foot. She bit her lip in concentration as she carefully unwound her leg from Nappa's wrist and retracted it back to her. She shook her foot a bit to get rid of the numbness.

"Whoah…" said Gohan.

"Yeah, I'm pretty awesome," Puddin said, giving the boy a smile and a wink.

Piccolo suddenly groaned and seemed to finally come back to consciousness. "What… the hell…?"

"Don't worry, Piccolo," Puddin said as she dropped to the ground. "I've got this."

On the other side of the battlefield, Vegeta was beginning to look impatient. "Nappa! Get up!"

Nappa braced his hands on the stone and tried to push himself up. His head held fast in the stone for a second before it came free with a pop.

"Hey Vegeta, that girl…"

"What about her?"

"She has legs for days."

"Goddamn it, Nappa! If you don't kill those idiots in the next five seconds, I'm going to start sawing off your legs!"

After Nappa shook the dust off his head and dug a loose pebble out of his ear, he smiled at the fighters and got ready to attack again. The Z-Warriors shuddered in the face of this incredible foe, but they prepared themselves nonetheless to battle him.

As Puddin sank into a new fighting stance, ready to do anything it took to protect the necessary Z-Warriors, a ping sounded from her scouter. Raising a curious eyebrow, she tapped the button on the side of the headset.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Puddin, it's Chronoa! We've got a problem!"

"What kind of problem?"

"Goku has just arrived back on Earth, but there's a huge power signature standing in his way! You need to head toward him immediately and find out what's going on."

"On it," Puddin said with a nod. "You hear that, old man?"

"Stop calling me old!" Elder Kai snapped over the comms. "And yes, I heard it. I'm not deaf."

"Not yet, anyway," said Chronoa.

Puddin turned off the comms before the two of them could really get into it. As she did so, the other Z-Warriors were getting ready for the next onslaught from Nappa.

"He's… he's a monster…" panted Piccolo.

"We can barely… keep up with him…" gasped Tien. "And… he's not even trying…"

"Don't worry, guys," said Krillin, trying to sound confident. "Things may look bad, but we've got the Rainbow Angel on our side! There's no way we'll lose as long as we stay-!"

"Hey, guys, I'm really sorry about this," said Puddin, giving the Z-Warriors a quick wave. "Something just came up and I really need to run. I'll be back as soon as I can." She smiled and gave them a thumbs up. "You got this! Nyah~!" With that, she flew off with a flash of pink mana energy. The wasteland was silent for a long moment.

"Aw man…" whimpered Krillin.

Sandy wasteland gave way to grassy plains as Puddin chased the power signatures on her scouter. The wind whipped at her ponytail as she flew as fast as she could, eager to complete her mission.

Finally, after almost a minute of flying, she could see signs of fighting on the horizon. Bursts of kinetic force from super speed and super strength, mixed in with the odd light of an energy blast. She poured on her speed as she zoomed toward the conflict. When the fighters came within sight, Puddin had to admit she was stunned.

For a second, she could swear there were two Gokus, but that couldn't be possible. Neither of the power signatures was nearly big enough to suggest that one of them was a god, so that ruled out Goku Black. While one of them was dressed up in Goku's regular gi, the other was wearing space armor.

"Who…?" Puddin said in confusion. She squeezed her eyes shut and tapped on her forehead. "Wait, I know this. I know this! He's… he's… uhhhhh…"

"Turles?!" Chronoa yelled over the comm line.

"Turles! That was it!" Puddin snapped her fingers. "It was right on the tip of my tongue. Thanks, Chronoa."

"Wh-What is he doing here?!" stuttered Elder Kai. "He's from the Non-Canon timelines! He can't be here!"

"Well, I guess we all need glasses then," Puddin muttered and rolled her eyes, "because there he is, right there."

Goku and Turles darted through the air, slamming into each other over and over again to try and knock the other out of the sky. Goku seemed intent on getting around Turles while Turles just kept blocking his way.

"Come on!" yelled Goku. "Any other day I'd love to spar with you, but I need to get through. I have to save my friends. And my enemy. And also my son."

"Ha!" scoffed Turles. "Any 'sparring' between us would end with you in pieces, seeing as the gap between us only ever increases."

"Hey!" Goku said, offended.

Puddin blinked.

Wait… is he…?

"But no," Turles said with a shake of his head, "it is not you that I have come here to test." Then, Puddin saw Turles look over his shoulder and lock eyes with her. He grinned. "But this peacock, finally descending from her nest."

Oh my god, he is!

"Um…" said Puddin, totally confused. "Why… are you doing that?"

Turles sneered. "Ah, you ask why I have taken to speaking in rhyme?

Well, that's quite simple;

you took too much time."

"Well, excuse me if I haven't figured out Instant Transmission yet," Puddin said, putting her hands up so she was ready to fight. Her face turned serious. "Why are you here, Turles?"

"And of course, it's straight to business, straight to your goal," he said with a sigh. "That's the most annoying thing about you, Time Patrol.

That's what you miss out on, your order of dogs.

You don't understand the value of proper dialogs"

Puddin stared at Turles, trying to figure out if she had somehow imagined the words that had just come out of his mouth. She sucked in a breath before blasting forward in a punch that Turles easily blocked.

"Sorry, what?" she asked, trying to keep her voice as casual as she could. "I don't know what you mean by that."

"Puddin, you need not play dumb on my account," Turles said as they continued to exchange blow after blow,

"My employer has mentioned you a considerable amount."

"Okay, seriously, how are you talking like that?!" Puddin demanded as the Saiyan leaned back to avoid one of her kicks. "Did you figure all this out beforehand or are you just making it up as you go?"

"Though it pains me to ever give a Patroller an oath," Turles said with a shrug and a smarmy look on his face,

"I will honestly swear that it is a little of both."

Puddin blinked as she blocked a kick. "But… how do you know who I am?" Puddin asked.

Turles backed away and crossed his arms. "I watched you the moment your Time Patroller career began.

When you killed off this idiot," he jerked his thumb in Goku's direction, "I became a real fan." His grin somehow seemed to grow even wider,

"Your mission in danger you so you did what you must,

so you took action and made him bite the dust.

I laughed so hard I thought I could choke.

But the thought of us being foes…" Now he dramatically clutched at his chest. "My heart nearly broke."

"Okay, this is getting creepy," said Puddin. She snapped her hand up and gathered mana in her palm before releasing it in a bright blue blast. The huge energy ball streaked through the air, swallowing Turles and streaking off into the sky. As the blast flew off and disappeared from sight, Puddin allowed herself to sigh in relief. "Finally."

"Um… miss…" Goku interrupted.

"What?" she groaned.

"I'm still sensing him."

"What?!" Puddin tapped her scouter, trying to narrow down the location of Turles' power level.

"Puddin!" Chronoa yelled from Puddin's communicator. "Turles is-!"

"Behind you," Turles purred.

Puddin hissed and spun, swinging her fist around in a wild backfist. Turles blocked her attack and responded with an uppercut. His fist connected with Puddin's side, making her let out a surprised cough. Anger flowed in to replace the wasted air so she bared her teeth and kicked him. Turles managed to block that attack as well, but he was sent flying back several feet from the force. He looked at Puddin appreciatively as he shook out the arm that had blocked her kick.

"You're bosses called you a loose cannon, of that I am sure," he continued, that infuriating smile still on his face.

"They want you to be pathetic, weak, and demure.

They said you were reckless, that you need to be fixed.

They're only worried that they will someday be eclipsed.

That's how they control you. Come on. Can't you see?

Why be like them…" Now he extended a hand out toward her.

"When you can come with me?"

Puddin's jaw dropped as she stared at the evil Saiyan. It was ludicrous. She had to be hearing things. There was no way that this had suddenly become her life.

"You're absolutely perfect, no fixing required," Turles purred,

"Anyone who says otherwise is a complete fucking-"

"Liar!" Elder Kai yelled in Puddin's ear, making her wince from the feedback. "Don't you listen to a single word he says, Puddin! He's completely evil!"

"Wow," said Goku, who was now sitting cross-legged on the Nimbus cloud. "This is pretty intense. Reminds me of this Christmas movie that we-"

"Don't you dare talk to me about Christmas!" Puddin and Turles roared at the same time. Goku was so surprised that he almost fell off the cloud. A moment of silence passed before Puddin turned back to stare at Turles, confused. That confusion was mirrored in his own expression before he smiled at her again. But this… this was a different smile. There was a much lower amount of malice in it this time. As far as Puddin could tell, this was an entirely genuine smile coming from an entirely evil person.

"Ah…" he said. "I should have seen it right from the start.

Truly, you are a woman after my own heart."

Puddin swallowed as a shudder of revulsion trailed up her spine. "Um, eww," she said, giving him a withering glare. "So eww. I have a very strict policy on not fucking people that look like this idiot." Now she was the one jerking a thumb in Goku's direction.

"Hey!" Goku said, offended. "I'm not an-"

"Yes, you are! Shut the fuck up!" Puddin snapped. Fortunately, he shut the fuck up.

"Well, perhaps an offer you might someday consider," said Turles. "Maybe one day, we could meet again and have an honest conversation?"

Puddin's eyebrows quirked before she gave him a cat-smirk. "What was that?" she asked. "Did you finally run out of steam? Maybe making rhymes ended up being too… lean? Mean? Um… not a dream?"

"See? Not so easy, is it? To make up a rhyme?" Turles looked to the side before refocusing on Puddin. "But as it stands, we're about to be interrupted, so I don't have the time. I guess we'll be seeing each other in a year or two.
Until then, fair Puddin, I bid you… adieu."

Then the stupid Goku copycat actually bowed to her before suddenly blasting off away from them. Puddin blinked.

"Did… did I win?"

Then, there was a sudden explosion of air as an object moving at several times the speed of sound suddenly came to a dead stop. Puddin covered her eyes against the wind pressure but snuck a peek when the wind had died down. Her face broke into an immense smile as she saw the source of the blast.

"Dad!" she yelled, zooming forward to scoop Dumplin up in a hug.

"Sweetheart!" he yelled, returning the hug with equal force. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too! So much! How are you?! What are you doing here?! How was your mission?! Did you bring me any presents?! Nyah~! I'm so glad you're here!"

Dumplin gave her a strong pat on her back and the two of them let go, smiling at each other like a pair of loons.

"As happy as I am to see you, sweetie," Dumplin said, "I'm technically still on the job." He patted her shoulder before letting go. "I'll see you back at home real soon. We'll catch up then. Love you!"

And with that. He blasted off in the direction Turles had fled.

"I love you too!" Puddin yelled after him.

While she was sad to see him go, it was still great that she had had the chance to see him after such a long mission. As she looked after him, she found something troubling her.

"Did I forget something?" she asked. "Did I leave the oven on?"

"Uh, miss?"

Oh right. Goku was here. She turned to face the only good Saiyan.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Um… any chance you could help me save my friends?"

"Oh right!" Puddin said, snapping her fingers. "That's what I was forgetting. You're right. Let's go!"

And with that, the two of them blasted off toward where Puddin had come from. Despite that strange interruption, she still had a mission.

And it was one Puddin was determined to accomplish.