Disclaimer: Title's from Michael Buble/ Nina Simone's Feeling Good

CHAPTER 7: This Old World Is A New World

Confession time. I went back up to the hippie-mummy. Honestly, I felt sorry for the poor lass. She looked like she pissed off a pissy god. I put the two wine bottles besides the poor bitch.

"One day, I'm gonna give you one hell of a makeover," I promised. "You won't even know you died."

Hmm. I walked away ignoring the green smoke flickering in hippie's glassy eyes. Not now.

On the porch my ex-Latin teacher was playing cards with a middle-aged, overweight cherub. Actually, it was a black haired college frat in purple bed sheets and grape vines. And- oh fuck couldn't he stop doing that? One Mig is more than enough.

I peeked at their cards before plopping down on a chair, startling them.

I looked at the purple glowing dude, "You are a sore loser."

He looked at me bewildered as if no one ever spoke to him like. Well too bad, man. And Chiron looked like he was seriously contemplating my sanity. Honestly, he should be used to it already. But alas, I still carry around the element of surprise.

Good.

"What," Purple managed.

I sighed and stood up behind him, took his cards, rearranged them, and gave them back. I waved to them to present their cards. Purple won, and both looked shocked.

"I'm guessing you don't win very often."

Both grunted.

"Well, my dude, if you have hands like that one all the time, you're one hell of a dumb fuck."

"And pray tell," Purple drawled angrily. "What would you know about Pinochle."

I raised an eyebrow, I just literally won you a game in one move, and replied, "Honestly, what civilized being wouldn't know about Pinochle?"

He raised an eyebrow and looked at Chiron, "I think I might tolerate the brat, Chiron. Who is she again?"

The bitch who's gonna make you pay for that comment.

"Mr. D, that's Percillia Jackson. The student I had to make a homecall for," he answered.

"I always wondered what happened to Mrs. Duran." The glint in Chiron's eyes told me enough, and I smirked. "Nice."

"Well, I guess I have to say this," Mr. D, aka Dionysus, my drunk cousin, gave a long, way too long, suffering sigh. "Welcome to Camp Half-Blood, brat. Don't expect me to be happy about it."

"Oh, you should be thrilled, not just happy," I drawled crossing my feet on the now empty table.

"I don't think it wise to behave like that child," Chiron said slowly. "You see this is-"

"Dionysus, I know," I cut him off. "The whole grape vines and Thyrsus give it away. Nice to meet you, cousin dearest."

They both looked shocked, again. "What exactly do you see, brat?" Dio asked curiously now.

I told him about his alternating forms and the fierce purple glow around him. And I noticed that I didn't even have my full vision on. But that's for me to know, and them to find out.

They both went silent. I sighed, seriously. I just wanted to take out my phone and listen to music.

"You should be dead," Dio finally said.

I raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "Not the first time I heard this sentence. As fuked up as that sounds."

"What?" Chiron was deeply… something. I just don't know what yet.

"Chiron, despite all your perceptiveness and incredible senses, you never noticed my scars. And I never actually bothered to hide them, at least not for a trained eye," I pointed at my exposed stomach and legs. I was wearing shorts, wankers.

Chiron nodded but looked saddened. Whatever. At least it's not pity. I hope.

"And why should I be dead? I like to keep my near death encounters updated," I looked at my cousin.

"You saw my divine form, which would have incinerated any mortal," he tried to hide his curiosity. Considering he is the god of theater, he was one fuck-up of an actor. And a liar.

"Huh…" Seeing as I had no clue what that is I just nodded. "So what exactly is Camp Half-Blood?"

"A safe haven for demigods. I'm the activities director while Mr.D is the camp's director," Chiron said slowly, as if afraid to freak me out or some shit. I guess I freaked him out with my lack of reaction.

Did he seriously expect me to go around running like a chicken with a chopped-off head, or deny it? I'm gonna go with denial.

"Dreams can be very enlightening." Fuck you, aunties! "And fucked up. Definitely fucked up."

Dio conjured a glass of wine, but- just as I expected- it disappeared. He was banned from his very own element. Harsh. Seems like a dumb Zeus thing to do. It also explains his unused house, he's probably exiled from Olympus too. Again, harsh.

"Your restrictions, Mr.D," Chiron said while shuffling the cards, I promised I would kick their asses. Besides it's time for gambling. The winner gets whatever. Stupid, but it is a blind-check gamble. It only makes it sweeter.

I was cackling. I won, "Suck on that bitches!"

I now had two depts to collect when I wanted. We talked a bit, discussing the camp's activities. I absolutely loved those. I think I looked on crack after Chiron explained about the arena.

They explained Dio's punishment. Honestly, I wasn't surprised that it was because his dick was where it wasn't supposed to be. Poor dryad. Like father like son. Fuckboys…

He explained the whole cabin system and about the unclaimed and the Hermes cabin. It made my blood boil.

Fuck neglectful parents and double fuck divine asshole parents to Alaska and back twice…

"Hey Dio," I pulled his attention away from his cards. We were playing Go Fish, and I was wiping the floor with their asses. Anyway. "When was the last time you had wine."

He pouted. Yup, the great god of wine Dionysus pouted. He was also in a human form close to his divine form, it was doing wonders for my nearly-non-existent migraine. "A while. A long-ass while. My ban is that I cannot make and drink wine."

Ah, loopholes, one of my favorite things in life, "I don't think it mentioned anything about someone else making them, did it?" I tried to sound innocent, but I failed. Miserably.

I liked Dio. He was actually a very nice person once you get over his I-don't-give-a-flying-rat's-ass-attitude, and his insistence on calling me Nixie. And I knew my smirk borderlined maniacal.

"No," his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas. "No it never did say that, did it Chiron?"

Chiron just laughed and shook his head, I think he was secretly glad the bitch-on-her-period camp director is not as… bitchy.

I got a bottle from beside Sabrina the hippie-mummy. Everyone deserves a name. Yes, even dead, hippie mummies.

"Why, Nixie?" Dio's eyes were twitching, and he spoke… sufferingly. "Why?"

"I woke up in an unfamiliar environment. Me, the most ADHD person you might ever meet. I got curious," I poured him a glass.

Technically, I made it, the straw is drinking it. He was just swallowing. Nothing against swallowing. I hope. And that does not sound weird. At all. Moving On…

He sighed in complete bless, probably forgetting the fact I was in his palace.

I clinked glasses with Chiron as I kept filling up my drunkard-of-a-cousin's glass.

"I'm seriously glad you stopped pausing at my every action."

"With you, child, sooner or later I'll have to learn to go with the flow. Better sooner than later," Chiron chuckled. "You're as unpredictable as the sea."

"And ain't that irony at its finest."

He shook his head, "It is the truth though."

Dio was almost at the point of wagging his not-there-tail and drooling.

"You okay, cuz?"

He just mumbled some incoherent words.

"Yup, he's all fine and dandy."

We talked a bit more. The dude's my centaur uncle, people. Nice

Also, I'll be staying in Cabin Eleven, with all the Unclaimed. I had no problem with that.

I kicked Dio. Hard. Someone was coming and he wanted to keep up his douchebag rep. So he went back to trailer-park-sumo-with-a-mid-life-crisis. And I yeeted the bottle away.

Hehe, yeeted.

"Ah, Annabeth dear," Chiron greeted, completely ignoring us. "This young lady watched over you last night Perci."

Ah, the one with the grey and bronze aura. The blond looked at me, trying to get a read on me. Good luck with that. Dio gave up after a while, and Chiron's 'going with flow.'

"You drool in your sleep," she finally said.

"I like you, Annie," I said chuckling.

"Don't call me that."

"Good luck with that, Annibel," Douchebag drawled. "She is as hard headed as a mule."

I kicked him in his family jewels this time. He gave me the evil eye, but I ignored it in favor of looking at Annie's reaction. It was worth it.

Poor gal thought we were all getting incinerated. If that happened I promised to haunt him as a ghost for my afterlife. He said I can't. I gave him the bird and told him to fuck himself on his acorn-on-a-stick-Thyrsus. I'm doing that.

Chiron just sighed, and looked at the wide eyed blonde, "Would you inform Cabin Eleven that they'll be needing a new bunk ready?"

"One day, that attitude will get you killed," Dio wheezed.

I smiled like the Cheshire pussy, "Probably."

I stood up and grabbed Annabeth's arm and proceeded to walk across the very impressive camp after sending my most mature uncle and wayward cousin a, "See ya later my bitches."

I ran towards the fuck-alicious Lava-spitting, Rock-falling, Dangerous-as-hell Climbing wall.

I pouted as Annabeth dragged me by my collar, and glared at her. Props to her for not flinching, but I didn't use the full force of my glare. She's too young for trauma.

"Oi, I wanna try a life threatening activity. Come on Annie."

"Not until you're situated you aren't," she glared at me. Her eye twitched from my baby seal eyes. She groaned and looked away. Stubborn bitch. Nice.

"Well, well… if it isn't our resident newbie."