Thanks so much to the people who have already favorited and followed this story!
I apologize, this chapter isn't as good as I wanted it to be but I really wanted to get another chapter up.
Word count: 4,796
We drove for a while, away from the city, away from the CDC building, until we stopped and left behind T-Dog's van, Shane's jeep, and Daryl's truck. Leaving me to ride in the RV. I didn't argue, I didn't say anything, although I could tell Daryl saw it on my face about how much I didn't want to. But, I didn't really have a choice.
Luckily, it was only Dale, who was driving, Glenn in the passenger seat, Andrea, Shane, and T-Dog who sat up front, leaving me space in the back of the RV. It was small and stuffy, but it was the best I was going to get.
I looked out the window and watched the scenery blur into a mix of colors, blocking out the others voices until I felt the RV slowing down.
"See a way through?" I hear Dale shout before the rev of a motorcycle engine.
"Um, maybe we should just go back. There's an interstate bypass-" Glenn starts only to be cut off by Dale.
"We can't spare the fuel." Trying my best to look over the others, I watch as Dale tries to drive through the build-up of cars before I sudden pop sounds and steam is coming from the RV's engine.
Sighing, I wait for everyone to get out of the RV before following, staying in the doorway as everyone's still crowded around.
"Problem Dale?" Shane asks the older man.
"Oh, just the small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of- okay, that was dumb."
"If you can't find a radiator hose here..." Shane says, trailing off as he looks around at all the cars.
"There's a whole bunch of stuff we can find." Daryl says as he looks through the back of a nearby car.
I hear everyone start to list off things they can find before Lori speaks up above everyone. "This is a graveyard. I don't know how I feel about this."
They're dead, it's not like they need it. Feeling eyes on me, I look around and see a few people looking at me, Lori included. Wait, did I say that out loud? Clearing my throat, I look down at the ground as I step out of the RV, something shiny catching my eye. Bending down, I easily pick up the silver coin, a small smile coming to my lips as an idea comes to mind.
Standing, I relax when I notice no one looking at me anymore. Watching for a moment as everyone spreads out, I turn my back to them all and stay next to the RV and hold the coin between my thumb, index finger, and middle finger on my right hand, before closing my left hand around it in a fist for only a moment, opening it to reveal that I no longer had the coin. Bring my left hand around my right hands' fingers again, I quickly opened them again, the coin reappearing.
Smiling to myself for remembering the trick, I turned around and let my eyes roam until they land on Sofia and Carl walking a little ways from their parents.
Walking through the maze of cars, I pass by Lori and Carol before stopping a few feet from the kids. "Hey, Carl, Sophia." Gaining their attention, I motion for them to come near me as I twirl the coin between my fingers. "You guys want to see something cool?"
Nodding their heads, both children smile as they give me their full attention. "Okay, pay very close attention," I tell them as I show them the coin before repeating the same trick I had practiced earlier.
"No way!" Carl says with wide eyes as Sophia lets out a joyful laugh. "How'd you do that?"
"A magician never reveals their secrets." I say with a smirk. "But, I tell you what. You guess find coins of your own, I'll teach you how."
"Really?" They ask at the same time, excited smiles on their faces.
"Yup. Just gotta find your own coins. I'm sure there's a few lying around here." Nodding their heads, we set out to find more coins. Coming to a car, Sophia goes to the right and Carl to the left. "Be careful, you guys," I tell them as I look ahead, trying to spot any threats.
"Carl, Sophia, Charlie." Someone whisper-shouts from behind me causing me to turn and see Rich with a panicked look on his face. "Get under the cars, now!" Turning, I grab Carl's shoulders and shove him under the closest car before crawling under myself, looking over him to see Sofia has done the same with the car across from us.
Looking the other way, I see Rick a few cars away from us and Carol with Lori even further. Looking back to Rick, I catch his eyes and he motions for us to stay quiet. Taking a deep breath, I slowly slide my arm over Carl's shoulders as I hear the moans and sluggish footsteps, soon seeing the feet that belong to them.
There has to be a hundred of them at least. Shit. Biting down on my lips to help me keep quiet, I look over Carl's head to see Sophia. She looks terrified. Maybe I should have run to her after I put Carl under this car.
Catching Sophia's eyes, I put my finger to my lips with a small nob, hoping to keep her as calm as possible.
We stayed there for what I'm guessing was only minutes but what felt like hours until the feet passing us by got fewer and fewer until they slowly stopped.
Looking at Sophia again, I see she looks calmer now before I turn my head the other way to look at Rick. Feeling Carl shift under my arm, I move it back to my side. Listening, I try my best to look out for any more walkers without moving from under the car.
Meeting Ricks eyes again, he gives me a small nod. Putting my hands down with the plan to slowly peek from under the car, I'm cut off by a high pitched scream. Turning my head back to Sophia, I look over Carl to see a walker on the ground, crawling under Sofia's car.
Feeling my heart drop to my stomach, I slide from under the car as quickly as I can, scratching the skin on my hands as I do so. Finally being free from the car, I rush around it seeing two walkers stumbling over the guard railing after Sophia. Not thinking twice, I quickly chase after them.
In my haste to catch up to them, I didn't notice the root that caught my foot, causing me to fall down the slope and into the forest. Quickly getting to my feet, I look around until I spot the faint blue of Sophia's shirt getting further away from me.
Pushing past branches and thorns, I race after Sofia and the two walkers until I catch up, grabbing Sophia from behind, covering her mouth with one hand as I drag her to the side and behind a large tree.
"Shhh, it's me, it's me." I whisper in her ear before slowly letting my hand fall from her mouth. "You need to be super quiet for me, okay?" Sophia nods her head and hugs her doll tight to her chest, a frightened look on her face.
Looking around the tree, I see the once two walkers picked up a friend, making it three. Reaching for my knife, I furrow my brows when all I feel is empty space. Looking behind me, I let out a quiet curse when I see an empty sheath. I know I put my knife back in it. Damn it, it must have fallen out when I fell. Shit.
It would be hard to take down one of those walkers with my knife, but three without it? Impossible. I sometimes hide my spare knife in my boot, but I never put it back in there after the CDC.
Okay, think, I need to think.
Seeing the walkers get closer and hearing Sophia's soft whimpers behind me, I act on the first thing that comes to mind.
"Okay, Sophia, listen to me. I need you to stay as still and as quiet as you can for me, okay?" Nodding her head, I guide her by her shoulder so her backs to the tree. "I don't have my knife, so I'm going to lead them away-"
"No! You can't leave." Sophia cuts me off with her panicked plea, making my heart sink even lower.
"I know, I know you're scared, Sophia, but I need you to be brave for me, okay? There's too many and I can't kill them on my own. I'm going to lead them away and double back for you, okay? You stay here until I come back, and if I don't, if I don't come back you stay here as long as you can the others will be looking for you." Looking behind the tree at the walkers, I see them only a few feet away.
"The highway is that way," I point back to where the highway is, being mindful of the approaching walkers. "If there is a threat you can't hide from, you run in that direction, okay?"
Nodding with tears in her eyes, Sophia hugs her doll tightly to her chest. "Deep breath, Sophia. I'm going to lead them away." Giving the small girls shoulders a squeeze, I make sure her backs tightly against the tree before I push my self away from her, looking to the walkers. "Hey, shitheads! Over here!" Watching the three walkers turn towards me, I take a few careful steps backyards, sparing one last glance at Sophia.
Turning away, I sprint through the forest with the three walkers right on my tail. I should have paid more attention and not dropped my knife. I should have put my backup in my boot like I always do. I should have hidden under the car with Sophia.
Feeling the walkers closing in, I spare them a quick glance before picking up my pace, keeping mind of the direction I'm going in. The last thing I need is to get lost.
Slowing my pace slightly, I bend down and pick up a fallen branch and look back to see only two walkers following me. "Shit." Where did the other one go? I swear he was there a moment ago. As long as he doesn't turn around and find Sophia.
Letting out a low whistle to keep their attention, I turn around again, keeping a tight hold on the branch as I see another large tree. Running to it, I hide behind it before peaking around to see how far the walkers are.
The closest one is about ten feet, the other one a few feet behind that. If they keep on that path I can try to take out the closest one with this stick, not sure about the other one, but I can't keep running forever, I have to do something soon, I'm past getting tired, my breathing quickly becoming faster and faster.
Rasing the branch like a bat, I take a deep breath as I listen to the loud, clumsy footsteps get closer and closer until they're right on me. Swinging as hard as I can, I hit my target, sending the walker to the ground, allowing me time to shove the branch through his skull.
Looking up at the other walker, I go to pull the branch from the dead ones head only to find it won't budge. Shit, it's stuck. Realizing too late that I didn't have time to pull the branch free, I look back up just in time to block the walkers first attempt to bite into my flesh as he overpowers me, pushing me to the ground.
Crying out as I feel a jolt of pain in my shoulder, I put my right arm under its chin, struggling to keep his snapping jaws from my face. Feeling a familiar panic set in, I feel myself get lightheaded as I struggle to get air into my lungs and hold the much larger walker off me.
Feeling the pain from my shoulder shoot down into my arm and my breaths coming out in short pants, I see black spot swimming in the edge of my vision and I hear distant, muffled sounds before the walker suddenly goes limp, his dead weight falling on top of me.
With the walker's dead weight added on to my already strangled breathing, I soon stop altogether until the weight is ripping off me, allowing me to take the biggest deep breath possible at the moment.
Still in a panic, I push off the ground best I can and push away until I feel by back hitting something solid.
Blood was pounding in my ears, I could feel my hands shaking as chills ran up my spine. Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my head, folding myself into a ball.
Trying my best to focus on getting air into my lungs, feeling like my windpipe was closing up, I violently jump when I feel something touch my shoulder, causing me to fall away from the tree I was leaning against.
Curling back into a ball, I hear muffled noises around me as I slowly and shakingly bring a deep breath into my lungs. Doing this a few more times, I hear the muffled sounds becoming more clear as my heart rate slows down.
"Charlie?" Blinking open my eyes, I slowly bring my arms to my sides and look up to see Daryl crouched a few feet in front of me, his hands raised slightly. "You with me, kid?"
Taking a moment to process his question, I give a shaky nod and unfold my legs from my chest. "Think you can stand?" Giving another nod, I slowly push off the ground, wincing when I twist my shoulder the wrong way.
Slowly rising from the ground with me, Daryl keeps his hands out slightly, almost like you would do when approaching a scared animal. "Charlie?"
"Sophia?" I choke out, my throat and mouth feeling dry as I look up at Daryl then passed him to see Rick a few feet behind. Watching the two men share a glance is all I need to know that they don't have her. "I had her- she.." I tried to say, but it felt like my voice was fighting me.
"You saw her?" Rick questioned softly, taking a small step towards me.
"We- I had her. The walkers were on us. I had to lead them away. I told her to stay put." I rambled, my voice suddenly working again. Pushing my feet in front of me, I only stumbled slightly before I started walking back the way I came.
I heard the others behind me as I picked up my pace, trying to get back to where I left Sofia, praying that she was still there, unharmed and safe.
"Hey kid, slow down." Ignoring Daryl, I keep my feet moving as fast as I can until I see the big tree in the distance.
"Sophia!?" I softly shout as I near the tree, seeing no sign of the small girl. "Sophia?"
"Charlie?" Turning around, I watch Daryl and Rick approaching me.
"She was here. I left her here. I told her to stay, that I would leave them away. I told her to stay-"
"Hey, hey, hey, look at me." Turning around, I look into Daryl's eyes as he crouches in front of me enough to meet my eyes. "Calm down kid, take a breath."
Nodding, I close my eyes before taking a few deep breaths. "Now, tell me what happened."
"I ran after Sophia, I caught up to her before hiding her behind the tree. The walkers were getting closer, there were three of them and I dropped my knife, I couldn't handle three so I told her to stay quiet and stay hidden, that I would lead them away. I had no other choice." Hearing my voice crack, I wiped my eyes as I felt them water.
"No, you did good, kid. C'mon." Motioning for me to follow, Daryl stood to his full height as he got ready to walk away.
"We have to look for her." I told him in panic. We can't leave her out here, she'd never make it.
"We gotta get you back." Daryl said, causing me to shake my head.
"No, we need to look for her." I stated more firmly, looking him in the eye.
Looking over his shoulder, Daryl shares a glance with Rick before they both nod their heads slightly before looking back to me. Sighing, Daryl reaches behind him and pulls out a familiar knife.
"Found it at the tree line. Must be where ya dropped it." Nodding my thanks, I slowly reach out with my right arm and carefully take my knife from Daryl's hand. "Stay close." Giving another nod, I step to the side as Daryl looks at the ground before leading us in a direction.
He's a good tracker, I wish I could do that. The ground just looks like dirt and leaves to me.
Taking one last look around, I use my right arm to hold my left tightly to my chest to prevent it from jolting in any way. I'm not sure what I did to it, maybe I fell on a rock or something, but it hurts. It's probably just bruised, it doesn't feel dislocated or anything big.
I can't believe I left her. I should have kept her with me. I don't know if I would have been able to fend off those three walkers and keep her safe, but I should have tried. Now she's lost in the woods and we may not find her. No, I can't think like that, we will find her. We will.
We didn't stay out much longer, or it didn't feel like it. Probably because I didn't want to go back yet. "It's gettin' dark, we'll pick up her trail first light. We can't be out in the dark, we'd just be trippin' over ourselves, more people gettin' lost." Daryl had said when I protested, saying we needed to look more.
I wanted to fight him more, convince them to keep looking, but I saw the sense in his words. And my shoulder, along with my head, was throbbing. I was starting to lose focus, stumbling around the forest wouldn't do Sophia much good anyway. Still didn't make me feel any better about it as we neared the edge of the forest leading to the highway.
Falling back behind Rick and Daryl, I slow my pace as we get onto the road. I know the others are most likely waiting, especially Carol, for them to bring back Sophia, but we didn't. They didn't find her, they only found me. It's my fault, I should have stayed with her.
"You didn't find her?" I hear Carol's heartbroken voice say as I come to a stop a good few feet behind Daryl, keeping my eyes away from all the disappointed faces.
"Her trail went cold, we'll pick it up again at first light." Rick told her, trying to keep her calm.
"You can't leave my daughter out there on her own. To spend the night in the woods."
"Out in the darks no good. We'd just be trippin' over ourselves," Daryl told her, repeated the same words he had said to me.
"But she's twelve, she can't be out there on her own. You didn't find anything?" Hearing Carols voice breaking in sorrow, my heart sinks and I take a small step away from the group.
"I know this is hard, but I'm asking you not to panic. Charlie was with her, we know Sofia was out there." Rick told Carol, making her eyes turn to me, causing me to quickly look away.
"And we tracked her for a while." Daryl spoke up before anyone, specifically Carol, could say anything, soon being followed by Rick.
"We have to make this an organized effort. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody, I've asked him to oversee this."
"Is that blood?" Carol asked, her breaths coming out faster as she started to panic even more for her child's safety.
"We took down a walker."
"Walker? Oh my god."
"There's no sign it was anywhere near Sofia." Rick quickly assured her.
"How can you know that?" Andrea asks. I understand her wanting to know, but maybe just take their word for it. We don't need any more reason to upset Carol, although I guess telling her might make her feel better.
"We cut the sum bitch open, made sure," Daryl tells them.
Mumbling something, Carol takes some deep breaths as she turns to sit on the guard rail, Lori joining her.
"You were with her?" Hearing Carol's voice, I pick my head up and look over to see her looking right at me. "You were with her and you left her? Alone? How could you do that?" She asks me with anger and hatred lining her words, causing a nauseous feeling to come over me.
"I..." Struggling to find my words, I look over at Carol as she looks at me like I just killed her daughter myself.
"She had no choice. There were walkers on them, she had to do something so she led them away. It was the right thing." Rick quickly told her when I couldn't speak, crouching down beside her.
"The right thing?" Carol questioned, her voice breaking. "How is leaving my daughter alone in the woods the right thing?"
Feeling like my heart was being squeezed, I blink away the tears that fight to break out of my eyes as I force out the only words I can think of. "I'm sorry." Quickly turning away, I push my way between the cars and walk away from the group.
I know saying that I'm sorry, no matter how true it may be, won't do anything, won't change anything, and it sure as hell won't make her feel any better or bring Sofia back.
We wouldn't be in this situation if I had just stayed with her, protected her. Sophia wouldn't be lost and alone in the woods and Carol wouldn't be crying over the fact that she may never see her daughter again. And no matter how selfish it may sound, I wouldn't have the weight of breaking apart a family resting on me.
Family is important, something you should hold onto if you're lucky enough to have it. It's hard enough as it is without someone like me coming along and messing it all up. Why can't I ever do anything right?
Feeling like I'm far enough away from the group, I slow to a stop next to a dark blue car before crawling onto the hood and bringing my knees to my chest.
Letting my eyes slowly fall shut, I quickly snap them open when a pair of deep blue eyes flash in my mind. Taking a shaky breath, I dig the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to ward off the unwanted memories.
Being so caught up in my thoughts, I didn't hear the approaching footsteps until they got right up on me. Taking my hands away from my eyes, I look to my left and see Daryl leaning on the car across from me, chewing on his thumb.
He's not looking at me, his eyes flicking between his finger and to the cars ahead of us. Maybe he's keeping an eye out for threats or just wanting somewhere to rest his eyes. I'm not sure why he's here, but I find myself oddly comfortable in his presence.
Resting my chin on my knees, I look out over the cars and up at the sky as the sun slowly sinks further and further causing the darkness to slowly take over.
"We'll pick up tha trail at first light," Daryl suddenly spoke, drawing my eyes to his darkening silhouette as he leans against a car. "Best rest up, be no good if yer dead on your feet."
Listening to his words, I nod my head in agreement but I don't make a move to get off the car. He's right, I know he is. I should get something to eat before getting a good nights sleep so we can get to finding Sophia first thing, but I couldn't bring myself to move off the car hood.
"Hey," Keeping my chin planted on my knees, I turn my eyes to look over at Daryl when he speaks up again. "Don' let her get to ya, she's just scared." Pushing back my confusion as to why Daryl Dixon is trying to make me feel better, I take my eyes off him and return to looking in front of me.
"Maybe, but she's right." I speak quietly and for the first time since he approached me.
"Nah, ya made the right choice, doin' what ya did."
"Did I?" I asked quietly as I looked over at him, meeting his eyes through the darkness.
"Yeah, ya did." He said more firmly as he pushed off the car. "No point thinkin' 'bout it now. C'mon." Nodding his head towards the RV, Daryl starts walking back, either trusting I would follow or not caring.
Sighing, I take one last look into the sea of cars before sliding off the hood, feeling my feet hit the pavement before following after him, keeping my distance.
Of course, I knew thinking about it would only make me feel even worse, but it wasn't easy to just set those thoughts aside. I know I can try all I want to push them to the back of my brain and try to distract myself from them, but they'll work their way back to the front of my mind. They always do.
Passing by everyone, I keep my head down as I march into the RV and grab my things before exiting and making my way to a nearby pickup truck and jumping into the back.
Feeling nauseous at the thought of food, I decided against eating dinner, lying down in the bed of the truck, using my backpack as a pillow instead.
It was a clear night, the stars and moon shining bright, shedding a faint light down onto the highway. It was almost peaceful if I could only get the thoughts in my mind to calm down.
I stayed there for a while thinking. Thinking about Sophia and where she was right now, if she was okay, how scared she was. If she was still alive. Thinking these thoughts brought up old memories, causing me to ding the heels of my hands into my eyes again, trying to push them back to the dark corner they came from.
Throwing my hands down at my sides, I let out a frustrated sigh when I realize I'm not falling asleep anytime soon. Lifting my head off my bag, I pull it into my lamp and scoot back until I feel my head hit the back windows of the truck.
Opening my bag, I pull out the small flashlight and use it to find my notebook, resting it in my lap as I set my bag to the side. Using my right hand to hold the light, I slowly flip through the pages of the small book until I reach a blank page, pulling out my pencil. I'll need a new one soon, this one's getting smaller even faster than I expected.
Glancing up at the RV where I know Carol is before moving the light up and holding it between my teeth. Positioning the pencil above the paper, I slowly bring it down and started marking the page with an image in mind.
I continued marking the paper until it got hard to keep my eyes open. I knew it would still be hard to sleep but I didn't want to risk messing up the image.
So returning everything to my bag, I slide back down again to rest my head against it, rolling my sore shoulder, and staring up at the stars until I feel my eyes closing of their own volition, thoughts of Sophia still running through my mind.
I should have hidden under the car with her. I should have put that knife back in my boot. I should have kept her with me. I should have been strong enough to fight off those walkers. I should have been stronger. I should have.
'-'