CHAPTER 10: WELCOME BACK, MR. FOWL

"Here we are," Artemis Fowl Senior announced to his sons proudly. His eyes were shining with the excitement of finally sharing the world of magic. "This place is well-known and very important."

It was an old, unkempt pub. Artemis the Second looked up at a rusty sign, feeling like his eyes were at risk of tetanus.

THE LEAKY CAULDRON

Leaky, indeed, he thought. The young billionaire had no doubt the place had leaks. Pests, too. He held his tongue, though, out of consideration for his father.

"Is this really some kind of portal?" Myles inquired, tugging on his father's sleeve.

"That's right," he responded brightly. He leaned down, making his voice sound the kind of spooky that was not, by any means, spooky. "Do you dare enter?"

"You bet!" Beckett pumped his fist in the air. "What about you, Artemis?"

"I am ready for anything, Beckett," Artemis smirked. Indeed, he had already thought of every possible scenario awaiting them. One could never be too prepared when it came to magic. It's just unfortunate my experiments had no noticeable effect.

The young adult genius, as he now preferred to be called, tried a few things to trigger any magic in him. he now knew his ancestors had their own human magic, so he tried triggering that ancestral power with a small transfusion using Myles' blood (since the Little Man owed him a favor and had his blood type), but nothing happened. He still had the Faerie magic he stole some time ago, which he renewed every once in a while, using their methods. Perhaps that would suffice. He still felt nothing, but that was no cause for alarm yet.

"In that case, let's go! Just stay close to me, alright?" Artemis Senior led the three brothers into the Leaky Cauldron. It was stuffy and smelled like smoke. It was also nearly empty, save for two men and the bartender. The bartender was a bald, wrinkly old man. He flashed them a toothless grin, but his welcome froze on his thin lips when he saw the father of the bunch.

"Is that—Is that Artemis Fowl I'm seeing?"

"Hello, Tom," Artemis Senior smiled charmingly at the old man. "It's been too long."

"Well, bless my soul," Tom scurried from behind the bar to shake his hand enthusiastically. He seemed very emotional. "Where'd you disappear to all this time?"

"That's a long story, but allow me to introduce my sons," the prodigal wizard looked so happy, Artemis could hardly believe this was the same father he grew up with. Tom was still shaking his hand as he listed off their names. "My oldest, Artemis—named after me, of course—and the twins, Myles and Beckett."

"Takes after his mother, does he?" Tom referred to Beckett, of course. "What a day this is turning out to be! First The-Boy-Who-Lived, and now—"

"The-Boy-Who-Lived?" Artemis Senior searched the pub, "He was here?"

"Just fifteen minutes ago!" Another man—short and wearing a top hat—chirped excitedly from a nearby chair. "He remembered me! He remembered little old Dedalus Diggle."

"He's been saying that the past fifteen minutes, too," Tom chuckled. "And I can't blame him for it, either."

"Harry Potter remembered me," Mr. Diggle whispered happily, beaming like his face was etched in stars.

"So…is Vold—I mean, is You-Know-Who really gone?" Artemis Senior whispered. Artemis the Second listened intently, remembering the last time he thought an enemy was defeated. He didn't even notice the twins wandering off.

"I believe it," Tom said with conviction. "I say that boy, Harry Potter, is living proof!"

"That makes me so relieved," Artemis Senior sighed. "I went into hiding because a friend of mine joined his cause, and I wanted no part of it."

Should Father really have said that? Artemis the Second felt his eye twitch. He would have expected greater discretion from his own family, especially on the subject of his hiding.

"That explains a lot," Tom nodded, "You were in Slytherin at Hogwarts, weren't you?"

"Yes, I was. Unfortunately, my house was where most Death Eaters came from."

"Well, you certainly give them a better name! I never met a finer man than you, save for James Potter."

"I remember him," Artemis Senior shook his head fondly. "I never stood a chance against him in Quidditch."

"You never stood a change against anyone in Quidditch," Tom laughed good-naturedly. "So, what brings you here now, of all days?"

"The twins are going to Hogwarts this year, and we were just—" That's when all three adults noticed the twins weren't there. "Boys? Boys!"

"Here we are, Dad!" they chorused. They were sitting next to Mr. Diggle.

"Guess what, Dad," Beckett told him, "That boy—What was his name, again?"

"Harry Potter," Myles and Mr. Diggle answered in unison.

"Right. He's going to Hogwarts, too."

"And that man over there," Myles gestured over to a pale, twitchy man reading in a corner, "is a professor at Hogwarts, just like you, Artemis."

"Your boy's a professor?" Tom asked incredulously, "But he must be so young, and I don't remember hearing of him before today."

"Yes, I am a professor," Artemis decided to speak up for himself, as he hated being talked about like he wasn't there. "I am also, admittedly, quite young. I only hope my knowledge can speak for itself."

"Oh, I see. Just like your father, you are. A fine professor you'll be, I'm sure! What subject do you teach?"

"History of Magic," Artemis stated proudly. It was truly a fascinating subject, especially when aligned with Faerie history in the Muggle realm. Of course, he had to keep that side of history a secret…which made it even more fascinating. It is as if I'm stealing History itself from multiple worlds. Humans couldn't know about faeries, faeries and Muggles couldn't know about wizards, and most faeries and wizards were relatively ignorant of Muggle history, but here Artemis was, knowing about all of them at once.

"You should speak to Quirrell. Your confidence could rub off on him, eh?"

"Thank you," Artemis bowed to Tom. "I think I will. Father, could I skip Gringott's and just meet you at Ollivanders? I'd like to speak with my fellow teacher."

"Sure thing, son. See you then." Truth be told, Artemis Senior was a little relieved his eldest didn't seem interested in Gringott's, after all. The spark in his eyes when told about it was enough of a warning to his old man—it was best to keep the boy away from temptation. Why did I have to raise him like that? He groaned internally. He refocused on Tom. "As good as it is to see you again, we really should be going. I'll be sure to visit again soon."

"Right. I'm so glad to see you're doing well, Artemis. Everyone said you'd gone to You-Know-Who, you see, but I knew better. You were never half as bad as all that. Well—off you go, then!" The bald bartender nodded to the twins with twinkling eyes looking like beads set in wrinkled brown paper. "Good luck at Hogwarts. You'll have a blast there!"

"Thank you, sir," the twins bowed respectfully, remembering Artemis' etiquette lessons.

They sort of regretted leaving the Leaky Cauldron behind, especially since their brother was still there, but that was soon amended once they stepped foot into a strange, bustling marketplace.

SURPRISE! BECAUSE I'VE BORROWED THE BOOK NOW, I'LL BE UPDATING THIS ONE WITH SPECIAL FREQUENCY! HAPPY ADVENT!

REPUTATION: So, there you have it. Their dad was a member of Slytherin. Some people thought he disappeared because he joined the Death Eaters, but some people—like Tom—knew him better than that. I figured that even though he inherited a Muggle criminal empire, Angeline may not have fallen for him unless she saw goodness in him, too. So, everyone probably didn't know what to see him as when he was in Hogwarts.

HOUSE CHOICE: Why Slytherin? Many reasons. He was ambitious, and he was willing to do almost anything to get what he wanted (hello, criminal emperor). In addition, his being in Slytherin would contribute to why some might have suspected his reasons for vanishing. It also accounted for why/how he got so tangled in the whole Death Eater mess.

How did he stay up to date on news? He had his ways, I'm sure. Maybe he might start receiving mail owls directly again, now that the coast is clear (haha…right…).

"Takes after his mother": Angeline has brown hair, not blonde…but it's not like Tom would know that, since Artemis Senior never revealed whom he married. He went into hiding specifically because he knew there'd have been trouble if his Death Eater "friend" found out about her. All Tom could see was the others looked like him, and suddenly there was a curly blonde among his offspring.

Tom: That's his name. I kept thinking of Tom Riddle whenever I wrote it. Rowling, you monster.

"fellow teacher": Spoiler alert: it's Quirrell. I kept thinking of "squirrel" whenever I wrote that. Well played, Rowling…well played.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm posting my commentary on the first HP book as a separate story. Go ahead and check it out!

I do not own Harry Potter or Artemis Fowl.