CHAPTER 26: FIRS' YEARS, FOLLOW ME!

"You're telling me this…" Beckett whispered to no one in particular, "is our school?"

Myles's jaw dropped. There, across a black lake in the middle of a cold forest night, stood an enormous castle on a mountain. Its windows were like diamonds, sparkling in the white moonlight. The contrast between them and the darkness enveloping the students made them look like stars.

"No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid instructed everyone in his booming voice. The way he towered over everyone reminded the twins of Butler, making Myles feel a little homesick.

"Ladies first," Beckett made a sweeping gesture at Hermione and stepped aside so she could enter a small canoe with Ron and Harry. "That means you, too, Myles," he grinned at his brother.

"Very funny, simple-toon," Myles deadpanned and took the last spot. "Will you be alright with Neville?"

"Of course I will!" Beckett gave him a thumbs up. Neville trembled next to him, holding Trevor the toad for dear life. The blonde angel had been staying by his fellow toad owner's side, trying to help him be less afraid of…well, everything.

"Everyone in?" Hagrid called from his own little boat, which somehow carried all his weight effortlessly. Then, seeing every student was settled, "Right then—FORWARD!" Just as Myles suspected, the paddle-less canoes moved forth on command, like obedient soldiers marching to their destination.

"This is amazing," he whispered. Hermione nodded, speechless for once. Harry was too busy drinking in the experience to notice Myles said anything. There aren't even any ripples, he noticed. Scanning around, it was too dark to make out whether or not Beckett and Neville's boat was nearby. Ron was sitting with his fingers crossed tightly, almost prayerfully. Probably worrying about becoming a Gryffindor. Myles told himself to write about how incredible Hogwarts already was—that would make his parents happy.

"Heads down!" Hagrid warned as they reached a cliff. Taking heed, the four drifted with their classmates through a curtain of ivy into a dark passage. Myles heard someone's yodel echoing, followed by a few snickers. Their little boats ended the journey inside an underground harbor, presumably in the bowels of the mountain beneath the castle. Myles climbed out of the boat onto the pebbly shore with the grace of a dancing warthog. Thankfully, he wasn't the only clumsy one—the other students all made it with varying levels of agility.

"Myles!" Beckett called out from some distance and waved. He stood up while his boat was still porting itself, causing Neville and their two companions' eyes to go wide as dinner plates. Not minding them, he leapt nimbly onto the shore and met up with his twin. Neville, not wanting to be left behind, clambered out and caught up to them. "Did you like my yodeling?"

Everyone followed the light of Hagrid's lamp up a stone passageway, carved into the age-old rock and slick from time. Myles had to hold onto Beck in order to keep from slipping, but it awed him to wonder how many first years it took to wear down the path so smoothly. This led them out onto a grassy field over which the front of the castle loomed. After a flight of stone steps, they faced one more obstacle to entering Hogwarts: a huge, oaken door.

"Everyone here?" Hagrid made one final check before knocking three times. Immediately, the door swung open to reveal a tall, slender lady with black hair and emerald-green robes.

"Don't tell me there's a female Artemis here, too," Beckett mouthed so only Myles could see. Indeed, she did look very strict.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid.

"Thank you, Hagrid," she replied, "I will take them from here."

The entrance hall by itself could have put Fowl Manor to shame. Up above them, the ceiling was so far not even Myles could estimate its height. Torches provided warm luminescence along the walls, and dozens of footsteps clicked, pattered, and shuffled on the flagged stone floor. The lower and upper levels were connected by elegant marble stairs, but the students were not destined to go up that evening. Instead, McGonagall led them past a door vibrating with countless human voices and into a small chamber near it.

Myles felt uncomfortable packed in with so many people—he felt like one of Beckett's sardines. Nevertheless, he focused on McGonagall, who had stepped up to the far end of the chamber and stood on a dais where everyone could see her. All the first years-even Beckett—remained silent and still as a statue to hear her speak:

"Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your Houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your House will be something like your family within Hogwarts…"

Myles felt Beckett press against his shoulder a bit closer. Neither of them had thought about Hogwarts Houses that way. Myles wasn't worried about being with Beckett—they were sure to be in the same House, being as close as they were—but the faces of their new friends flashed across his mind's eye. It doesn't matter, he told himself. I just want to be the best I can be. If he could maintain a friendship with Beau, who lived in a whole other country, then no House could ruin his new friendships. Just do your best, Myles.

"…While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your House points. At the end of the year, the House with the most points is awarded the House Cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever House becomes yours."

"Let's win that for our House, Beck," Myles whispered to his twin.

"We have to be in the same House…right, Myles?" he whispered back.

"Of course," Myles assured him. "We're twins, after all."

Beckett nodded, still nervous. We have to be in the same House…Please, we have to be, the thought of not being around his brother and his new friends was only hitting him now that the time for their sorting was only minutes away.

"…I suggest you smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting." McGonagall concluded, letting her gaze linger on Ron and Neville, who had a smudged nose and a weirdly fastened cloak, respectively. Harry flattened his hair nervously. "I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly." At the word 'quietly' it was the Fowls' turn to receive her stern glances from behind her thin-framed glasses.

"How exactly do they sort us into Houses?" Harry asked Ron once she left.

"Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking," Ron answered uncertainly.

"My father says it's a hat," Myles decided to answer for them. "We put it on and it places us in a House."

"Tch. Yeah, right," Beck either didn't believe him or was tense. He tended to get irritable when he was worried.

"No matter where we go," Myles tried easing the boys' nerves, "we're sure to still see each other sometimes. We can even sneak around, if we need to."

Suddenly, a bunch of their classmates screamed. Myles whirled around, bumping Beck in the process. The latter put an arm protectively in front of his weaker brother. Harry nearly jumped out of his skin, and Ron looked like he was about to faint. Hermione whipped her head around, her hair a mometary halo of light brown. As for Neville, neither Myles nor Beckett saw him because they were too busy smiling excitedly while everyone else gasped.

About twenty ghosts streamed in, a pearlescent glow emanating from their semi-transparent figures. They were all engrossed in what seemed to be an argument—something about a guy named Peeves.

"I say, what are you all doing here?" one ghost wearing a ruff and tights noticed the students crowded inside the chamber.

"We're the first-years!" Beckett shouted up without hesitation, earning more than a few amazed looks from their peers.

"It's nice to meet you!" Myles added before Beckett commented on their lack of ectoplasm.

"How delightful!" A fat friar smiled broadly at the assorted students. "About to be Sorted, I suppose."

"That's right," the twins said in unison. A few other students nodded mutely. Oddly enough, it seemed the sight of ghosts was shocking to everybody else.

"Hope to see you in Hufflepuff! My old House, you know."

"Do teachers get Sorted, too?" Myles asked, now that the thought struck him. "Our older brother is a new professor here."

"Fowl, is it? You look just like him!"

"Move along now," McGonagall interrupted sharply. "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start."

"See you soon, Ghost sir!" Beckett waved goodbye. Myles nodded politely, and the ghosts took their leave.

"Now, form a line and follow me," Professor McGonagall instructed the first years. A few of the other children stole glances at the bold twins who talked to ghosts so naturally. Harry got behind a boy with sandy hair. Ron fell in behind him, followed by Myles and then Beckett.

"You two," whispered Ron back at the Fowl twins, "are absolutely wild."

Exiting back into the entrance hall, they walked single file across to the Great Hall through a set of double doors. Surveying the scene, it reminded Myles of the fabled Valhalla, where Norse heroes were said to go after death. Numerous candles floated in midair above four very long tables, at which the rest of the student body was already seated. High above, the ceiling was velvety black, just like the sky outdoors. The tables were set with golden plates, dining ware, and goblets. Perpendicular to the students' tables, at the end of the hall was a long, raised table for the teachers. McGonagall led them to this table so they were lined up in front of it, facing their upperclassmen. On the way up, Myles and Beckett caught sight of their brother, Professor Artemis Fowl II. He smiled briefly but warmly at them. They remembered the elf captain, Holly Short, telling them he never smiled so gently at anyone except them. The twins felt a fuzziness they would never have admitted to as they stood with their backs to the teachers and felt him watching them.

As the group of first years looked out over the faces of their classmates (and a few ghosts here and there), Professor McGonagall placed a four-legged stool in front of them, a ratty old pointed hat sitting atop it. Students old and new stared at it, and Myles wondered when they would have to put it on. Beckett wondered how in the world the hat got so beaten up and dirty, like it was dragged around and buried somewhere.

Oh, my gosh! A realization struck Beckett. He really wasn't kidding about the hat, was he? He would have reminded himself to apologize later for not believing Myles…if the hat hadn't moved. What looked like a rip near the brim turned into its mouth…and then it actually sang!

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,"

Sorry, Beckett mentally apologized to it.

"I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me."

Beckett had to hold back a snicker.

"You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can sort them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,"

Okay, that's creepy, Beckett frowned.

"So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong to Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

Not Neville, guessed Beckett.

"You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;"

Beckett liked the sound of that one, though the name reminded him of cream puffs.

"Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

If you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;"

That sounded like Hermione and Myles, but Beckett hoped that wasn't so.

"Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends."

Now Beckett knew why the Fowls were suited to Slytherin. His stomach tied itself in knots.

"So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

You're in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

Beckett would have laughed at that part, but his worries were back. He and Myles were brothers, but they were as different as night and day. Myles is smart, he despaired, but I'm not like that at all. He took a deep breath, and Myles put a hand on his shoulder briefly. As long as he's happy, Beckett decided, I'm happy.

McGonagall pulled out a scroll of parchment and called the first years' names in alphabetical order. Each student sat on the stool and wore the hat until it announced the name of his or her new House. Hannah Abbot, a pink-faced, pigtailed blonde, was Hufflepuff. So was Susan Bones. The Fat Friar waved eagerly at them as they joined the Hufflepuff table at the central right, which cheered and clapped for their latest additions.

Terry Boot was a Ravenclaw. He joined his new Housemates at the central left table, and several of them shook hands with him in addition to their civilized clapping. Mandy Brocklehurst soon followed.

Lavender Brown became a Gryffindor in the midst of loud cheers, and some catcalling from the Weasley twins. Her new table was the far left.

Millicent Bulstrode was named a Slytherin. Their reactions ranged from clapping and nodding coolly to pounding the table and cheering, but they all looked like a proud lot.

"Finch-Fletchley, Justin!" McGonagall called. Finally, she reached the Fs.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat shouted immediately. It took various amounts of time for it to arrive at its conclusions, but Justin's sorting was relatively quick.

"Fowl, Beckett!" At the sound of his name, Beckett stepped forward.

Good luck, Beck, Myles wished twin telepathy was real, so he could send that message to his brother.

Beckett sat down and pulled the Sorting Hat over his eyes. Just don't suck my brain out—don't possess me, either, he felt like saying. He heard an amused chuckle in his ear and fought the urge to yank it off.

"A feisty one, you are—Interesting…But a lot of loyalty, yes—especially to the ones you love. Hmm, a little too dependent when it comes to determining your course, I see. But extremely courageous. You have potential for greatness, and a bit of cunning…oh, but your conscience takes precedence over your ambition. You doubt your abilities because you are not like those of your blood…I think…you could grow a lot in…"

As long as Myles is happy, I can go anywhere, Beckett thought as fast as he could. Oh, and nice song!

"HUFFLEPUFF!" It shouted, startling him. He yanked it off his head.

"Did you have to be so loud?" he asked it. McGonagall cleared her throat and shot him a look. "Sorry," he whispered to it and set it down. A Hufflepuff, huh? He had to admit, the welcome was warm and the Fat Friar was really nice. Let's see is Myles makes it. Then again…he sighed and thought about the other Houses…

"Fowl, Myles!"

Now it was his brother's turn.

Myles Fowl stepped forward, trying not to look apprehensive in front of Artemis and Beckett. He wasn't sure Hufflepuff was quite his style…but then again…He sat down on the stool and pulled the hat down over his eyes.

Hello, Sorting Hat, he addressed it before it had a chance to read his mind.

"Occlumency? And so gifted at it…" a quiet voice whispered in his ear. For once, Myles was grateful he got possessed by an ancient warlord's second-in-command as a toddler. Even back then, he managed to learn how to push out foreign entities in his mind.

I will let you read my mind momentarily, but first—

"SLYTHERIN!" the hat shouted, breaking the boy's concentration and slipping in. "Yes…they will help unleash your full potential…" was the last thing it said before Myles slowly pulled it off of his head.

Speechless, Myles set it back down and hardly noticed the handshakes and claps on the shoulders he got at his new table.

Neville, Ron, Harry, and Hermione were all Gryffindors somehow, leaving Beckett alone and Myles stuck with Draco Malfoy and his goons, who all happened to be fellow Slytherins. Gryffindor was especially overjoyed to receive the famous Harry Potter.

Well, it was nice knowing those four. Despite what he said earlier, Myles got a sinking feeling he would not be seeing too much of the quartet from the train. He wondered how long it would be before they forgot about him, and how much trouble Draco would give him. Beckett caught his eye from the Hufflepuff table. The blonde twin gestured, whether at Draco a couple of seats away from Myles or at Slytherin in general, he knew not. Then, Beckett made a 'hang myself' gesture and laughed. Myles laughed along. He met Hermione and Harry's eyes by chance, and they waved at each other. At the staff table, Artemis appeared to be conversing with his new colleagues. Maybe I'm overreacting, after all. He smiled, feeling much better.

"Well, look who it is," a certain someone drawled and stepped in front of him. Myles sighed.

Draco Malfoy, he considered his options before speaking. Maybe I can make this work, too.

TITLE: My favorite line from Hagrid in the book, for some reason.

YODELING: I would have been so tempted to do it…but I think Beckett would actually do it XD Originally, I did not want him to do it, fearing it would break the awestruck mood of that section…but I could not rest until I put it in. It's like Beckett himself was insisting "I will yodel, and you will NOT deny me!" I literally spent days resisting this one element, but it was futile. DAYS.

DESCRIPTIONS: This is more than a mere rewrite, so I am perfectly at liberty, I believe, to rephrase the book's descriptions. Did you like it? I am no plagiarist, after all.

GETTING TO HOGWARTS: I wound up including more of this part than I originally intended because I couldn't resist the lure of showing the twins' reactions to the journey. It just feels like it would have been an obvious gap in the experience. Wouldn't you agree?

HAT SONG DIALOGUE: Beckett's reactions, haha. Honestly, though, I love that hat being a total ham in the book. I love the hat. Sorting Hat is best accessory.

SORTING HAT DIALOGUES & SORTINGS: Beckett and Myles have different personalities, but they both made each other a priority over themselves. Beckett took the more emotional approach of accepting anything as long as Myles got into the best House for him. Myles, on the other hand, tried the intellectual approach of taking control over the situation, only for it to backfire. This goes to show sometimes, seizing control is not the answer. Maybe if Myles had let the Sorting Hat into his mind, the hat would have seen how much being near his loved ones meant to him and considered his desire to be in Hufflepuff as a priority. As it is, Beckett wanted the best for Myles, and the best for Myles appeared to be honing his skills and unlocking his potential for greatness (an essential trait for Slytherins is potential for greatness). As for Beckett's placement in Hufflepuff, the best for him appeared to be an encouraging environment where he could learn to appreciate himself instead of comparing himself to his family members. This could also be another reason for why the Sorting Hat put the brothers in different Houses.

OCCLUMENCY: To put it simply, the ability to resist telepathy. Myles has skill in this, not because he's a genius, but because at just a few years old he canonically was able to mentally resist an ancient faerie warrior when it possessed him. With that level of ability at that age, along with the memories of that experience, it makes sense he would have an even stronger mind with stronger defenses several years later.

BECKETT'S FIRST THOUGHTS TO THE HAT: Let's not forget Beckett was possessed, too, and by no less than the leader of the dead army! That being said, his mental resistance was not quite enough to shake the spirit's control like Myles did. Instead, his resistance was physical. The very instant the faerie warlord eased up, Beckett immediately punched the main villain without a shred of fear. As a result, I did not have him resist the hat mentally, but I did have him on his guard. I also made his immediate, almost knee-jerk, reaction be a physical response (removing the hat swiftly).

ARTEMIS SMILING AT THEM: By the end of the series, we get to see a bit of the tenderness Arty feels for his little brothers. He educated them thoroughly but gently, and they held the kind of sway over him which led to him laughing on the floor covered in paint. He even left some of his belongings to them in his will—namely, the things which he knew they would enjoy (though he did stipulate Beckett should not eat the ants in his ant farm). Given all this, it was obvious to me they always held a special place in his heart. I like to imagine that despite growing in openness and kindness, Artemis II has a side only the twins get to experience.

WHICH HOGWARTS HOUSE ARE YOU? I am a Slytherin, and proud of it! Ambition, cunning, and the belief everyone around me is destined for greatness—even if that potential is hidden deep inside. That being said, if I wasn't a Slytherin I would be a Hufflepuff because I tend to be warm, caring, and even motherly (source: people who've known me a long time). Buuuut, Slytherin is still more me than the other Houses (source: people who've known me a long time). WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I OWN NEITHER HARRY POTTER NOR ARTEMIS FOWL. I JUST GOT AN IDEA FOR BLENDING THE TWO. IF I WIN THE LOTTERY, I'LL CONSIDER BUYING THE RIGHTS AND MAKING THIS CANON.