The Diego Diaries: Partay! (dd6 50)
-0-Party Central
They came in one and two at a time bearing containers of finger foods and drinks. The night was looking good. Prowl stood at the sink with Ratchet as they began to organize the drinks on the counter. Blue came in behind Delphi and Turbine with a basket of some kind of stuffed bread rolls and a six pack of good beer.
"BLUE! You could come," Ratchet said as he took the beer. "How did Frick and Frack take it?"
Blue walked to the table and set his basket down among the many already there. He grinned at Prowl and Ratchet. "I told them I was coming. They could stay with the kids."
"You put your ped down?" Ratchet asked with a big smile.
Blue nodded. "That's what I did."
"ALL HAIL, BLUESTREAK!" Ratchet said with a chuckle. :Sunstreaker. Sideswipe: They replied with a tinge of sullen it seemed to Ratchet. He grinned. :Blue is here and if he ties one on we keep him. Have fun:
The commentary that followed was unrepeatable in front of his ada but Ratchet did because he was that big of a delinquent. Everyone laughed. Ravel did too even if he gave his son 'The Look' anyway.
"Those two infants are good mechs but I think they need a trip to the woodshed as the humans say," Turbine said as he opened a beer.
"They're getting house trained slowly but surely," Ratchet said as he winked at Blue.
Blue grinned, then everyone turned as the door opened with a rap. Miler peered in. "Am I late?" he asked with a big grin.
He was hailed in, his beautiful delectable treats placed on the table and his fancy wine spritzers set on the cold pad that held the others. Turbine, Delphi, Blue, Alor, and Ratchet grinned at Miler's delight at being included as the door opened again. Ravel, Docker, Corr, and Kestrel were in the hall along with Scout. They were heavily laden and soon relieved of their burdens.
Prowl turned to Ratchet. "Who else is coming?"
"I don't know. I sorta mentioned it at the grocery. By the way, I ran into Laslo there," Ratchet said as everyone began to fill plates. As 'bartender', he watched with delight, helping the elders as they chose what they wanted to drink.
"What did he say, if anything?" Prowl asked.
"He wanted to know what my motives were for taking on his son," Ratchet said as Docker walked to a chair with a heaping plate and a beer. "He thinks I'm playing a game here. I told him that I was going to help him learn to stay out of jail and he was going to do everything and anything I told him to do. Either that, or prison would be his life."
"I hope you can help him, Sonny," Docker said glancing up from a pile of picture-perfect hor d'oerves. "If anyone can, you will."
Ratchet grinned at his granny, then took a plate. A lot of slag later, he was sitting on his chair with a plate and a cold one. Everyone around him were filling their faces.
"This is very good, Kestrel. I think you must be an amazing cook," Ravie said sweetly.
Kestrel did the Cybertronian version of a blush. "Well, I've been looking through cookbooks, Ravel. I think I have a lot to learn."
"I think you mastered this," Ravel said holding up one of the things Kes had made. He looked at Ratchet. "Don't you think so, son?"
Ratchet who was enjoying the sweetness of the elders present nodded. "I love it all. We do as a group, after all, have a reputation to uphold. Thanksgiving and the baking contest are not that far off. I'm thinking I want to expand it into other areas of cooking besides baking."
"Maybe barbecuing," Miler suggested, then he grinned. "I was reading up on human family rituals and one of them is barbecuing. Apparently, its a big thing among men in families. Burning things on a flame is something they all find scintilating."
Ratchet and Prowl stared at Miler, then each other. "I think your ada is a genius."
"My ada is a genius. What are you thinking?" Prowl asked with a wary gimlet optic brewing.
"I was thinking about a barbecue contest. Maybe with camping included. Or not. A contest just for the boys. We usually rustle the grub, right?" Ratchet asked as the mechs in the room nodded. He glanced at Prowl. "Most of us, anyway."
Prowl frowned. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Tut-tut, son," Miler said with a grin. Prowl shriveled inside but maintained his exterior. He was improving.
"This is a great idea, Ratchet," Docker said. "The atars of the families can do this. What do we need?"
"Well … we need something to cook on, a barbecue device. Then you need a recipe, something that can take a dry rub, maybe, and sauce. You have to make all of it, then apply it, then watch it smolder for twelve hours, then serve it up beautifully for the judges," Miler said.
"Oh my," Ratchet said with a grin. "I can't wait. I'll announce it to the family and you announce it to yours. Tagg and Optimus, Blackjack, Raptor, Hard Drive, Ironhide, the twins, Magnus and Jetta, who else?"
"I'll make a list, son," Ravel said as he pulled a datapad from subspace. Finding a page among his lists for the grocery store and a deli that they liked, he added the names.
"Venture," Ratchet said as Miler nodded. "Springer and Drift. They don't get off easily. How about Hercy and Kup? They're used to winning. It might do morale good to see them lose at something."
"If they lose," Kestrel said with a grin.
"Maelstrom," Ratchet said with a chuckle. "That slagger's in so he's on the hook. Flint. He has to do it too." They continued to list names until the sheet was complete. Ravel wifi-ed it to Prowl and Ratchet, then they sat back with satisfaction for a nosh and tipple.
-0-On Cybertron
They walked to the shuttle, entered, then sat. As they did, Optimus froze indicating incoming messages. He sat back, then grinned. "We have a contest. Prowl just sent the word."
"Oh, slag. Old mech must be under the table. Never trust him when he's blotto," Ironhide said. "What sort of contest."
"Apparently, human males like to burn dead animals over fire, slather them with tomato-and-chili-based condiments, then have them judged. It is a 'big deal' to win. A kind of manhood right of passage," Prime said.
It was quiet in the shuttle as it lifted off, then Hercy grinned. "Sounds like fun."
Everyone glanced at him. "Do you know how to do this too?" Sandstorm asked. He had entered the pie contest, hit the wall of his experience, then refrained from the cake contest. However, burning something and eating it later was something he knew about. That's why he ate out most of the time.
Hercy grinned slightly, then shrugged. "A mech can't tell all his secrets."
"Frag," Ironhide said. He glanced at Prime who was very amused. "You told them to take a hike, right?"
"Actually, Ironhide, I told them to bring it," Prime said as the shuttle erupted in laughter.
-0-A couple of beers and a wine spritzer later
"And I said, 'Ironhide, you big slagger. Come over here and show me what you got'." Ratchet smiled a dazzling smile.
Chuckles broke out as the repressed among them began to loosen their perverbial corsets. Prowl who was watching his ada laughing with Kestrel and Corr was on his third beer. They were feeling fine as a fiddle as the unaccustomed drink began to have an effect among those with a lower tolerance than others.
"What did he have?" Turbine asked with a smirk. He was lounging in a chair in the corner, one that the big kids liked to use when they watched something together.
"Nothing. He had two pair, low and nothing else. I cleaned his clock," Ratchet said. "He's a lousy bluffer at poker, that one."
Turbine snickered. "I could have told you that."
"Tell me something he did that will embarrass his aft if I know," Ratchet asked.
Turbine grinned. "When he was brand new he used to grab his finial and pull. He would scream because it hurt and pull harder. He had no idea."
"That's my boy," Alor said with a grin. "He used to steal cookies. He would hide them in his toy box and pretend when he got caught that he didn't know how they got there. I also remember him stealthing around when he was supposed to be recharging. He was lead footed but so cute and funny."
"What about boy or girl friends? Any?" Ratchet asked to be ornery.
"Actually, he had one in sparkling school but most of the time we kept him with one of us and school was home style," Delphi said. "I loved when it was my turn. He was so cute. He was afraid of the dark but he was also brave. He may have been afraid but he was brave too."
"What about his speech?" Ravel asked. "He said he had Orion's problem."
"He did," Turbine said. "He talked just like Orion. He called everyone 'hers'. He said he wanted to go with 'her' even if it was a mech. He had a mixed up vocabulary."
"Conferences are soon," Ratchet said. "I wonder how Orion is doing?"
"Roto will tell you. We can always throw him down some stairs," Delphi said with a grin. "It sorted Ironhide out."
"I will miss his sweet little words," Ravel said. Everyone in the room nodded. "How is it with Blackjack and Scout, Alie?"
Alor grinned. "The baby is doing better and Scout is excelling. Seriously, Turbine … what happened?"
Turbine laughed. "We did the best we could with what we had to work with. Sonny boy was a big baby about his dollies as a child and still is."
-0-Cybertron
They walked back to the shuttle from still another place, sat, then it rose up to fly onward. Ironhide glanced at Raptor who was grinning at him. "What?"
"You pout so well. I'm going to enjoy slagging you to the Pit in this contest," Raptor replied.
"Is that so?" Ironhide said as he internally accessed the internet link to the human's databases on Teletraan. Seconds later, he had all he thought he would need to know.
"Yes," Raptor said to egg Ironhide on. He knew his little mech well.
"I, Ironhide, will win the contest. I already have an order in for my grill," Ironhide said smuggly as he searched the information for a good grill, one that would do the job. He found, then ordered it internally through Off-World Requisitions. He smirked at everyone, then sat back with a smug expression of HA-HA! I AM IRONHIDE, SLAGGERS!
Raptor glanced at Hard Drive. "How about you and me team up and show the little mech where the cow ate the cabbage?" He glanced at Hercy. "I like that expression. Thanks."
Hercy nodded. "You're welcome." He had already ordered his grill too and was sorting through recipe databases for the best ones along with directions on what to do. He was nothing if not organized.
Prime was having an off line conversation with a slightly tipsy Prowl who was going to 'take care of it, Only One. You have this', he told Optimus. Prime didn't know what he had but he was sure that Prowl would provide it. He grinned to himself as he listened to Prowl organize his barbecue entry like it was an full scale invastion.
"Something tells me that Prowl is plotting with Optimus to wipe up the floor with us," Hardie said as he grinned at Optimus.
It was silent a moment as a number of bonded mechs on board a shuttle on another world communicated with their bonds and main squeezes on Mars about what a barbecue contest was and how they could win it. The ship disappeared into the dark night of Cybertron as the passengers aboard engaged in figuring out what a barbecue was.
-0-Mars
It was quiet in the room as every bond there minus the twins and Ratchet's elders were contacted nearly at the same time by mechs on a ship faraway. Ratchet grinned. "I do declare … it appears that the contest is on." He looked at Prowl. "I suppose you're going to cheat once more?"
Prowl glanced at Ratchet with a slightly tipsy yet entirely gimlet optic. "You wish. I, Prowl, have no time for your accusations. My Osimus is going to win this thing."
Everyone in the room turned to look at Prowl who gathered up his slightly tipsy escutcheons. "You wait. "My Osimus will be the winner."
"I do hope so, Prowl," Kestrel said with a smile. Prowl's remarks were buried by laughter and more beer.
-0-TBC 6-27-17 edited 6-30-17
NOTES:
ESL: Nosh: a bite to eat
Tipple: to drink alcohol
escutcheons: (es-kutch-uns):
1 : a defined area on which armorial bearings are displayed and which usually consists of a shield
2 : a protective or ornamental plate or flange (as around a keyhole)
3 : the part of a ship's stern on which the name is displayed
In my family, escutcheons was a joke word that we used to say that we were regrouping, 'gathering our escutcheons. I don't know where it came from but we always used it. We also would say, "I'll be swanned" if we were surprised. :D I love words. :D