Trigger warning**
This story from this point on will contain triggers of child loss, mental health concerns and substance abuse. Play feel free to switch off and no longer continue on this journey or to return to us if/when our characters make it to the other side. (I will update with a 'safe' chapter when it is written and online)
James POV.
Time seemed to both slow down and speed up. Aunt Hannah would sit with us, holding B's other hand, then she'd check her over the best she could before hurrying off muttering about people needing to get here and would return with more bottles. She would regularly feed pain potion, blood replenishing potion and a mild sedative. Briar had become hysterical earlier. Inside, I was screaming and losing my mind. But I couldn't let her know. I just sat there, holding her hand and stroking her ever paling face while we waited for a healer. Briar whimpered as gripped my hand tighter.
"Isn't there something you can do?" My voice sounded weak. I didn't even realise it was me.
"I'm sorry, James," Aunt Hannah shook her head. "This isn't my field, I've done everything I can." As she checked Briar's temperature by putting her hand against B's clammy skin, the curtain surrounding us twitched and the cheery head of Fliss Saxton appeared. A fury built inside of me at her smile. How could she walk in here, after two hours of watching Briar writhe in pain without being able to help her and act like she was just a little late for lunch? But Aunt Hannah flashed me a warning glare. "I'm going to fill in Healer Saxton, you stay with Miss Landon. Keep her calm." That last statement wasn't about keeping B calm, it was about me not tearing Saxton a new one. I could hear them muttering between them. Aunt Hannah made a sound that resembled a muffled sob. Then they both returned. Saxton looking for more demur.
"I'm just going to give you a quick look over, Briar, is that okay?" Saxton called over to a half asleep B. She didn't respond. The healer just stood there, fixing her gloves at the end of the bed. Briar wasn't going to respond.
"Just do it." I spat.
"I have to hear it from -"
"She's in agony, she's sedated and she's lost way too much blood and you want her to understand what you're saying?" I stood up, anger bubbled in my chest.
"Jamie," Aunt Hannah's voice cut me off. "She's just doing her job. But he is right," She turned to the healer. "Miss Landon is struggling, we really do just need to get on."
The healer nodded and carefully walked around the bed opposite me. She check Briar's forehead, for her temperature I guess, then her eyes and her pulse. Before she put one hand on Briar stomach and then the other. She muttered something to Aunt Hannah who nodded. Then she took out her wand and pulled Briar's school blouse up leaving her stomach exposed. She put the tip on B's skin, just how she had not even a week before. But this time there was no 'screen', there was no looking or excitement. She stopped quickly and moved slightly further down the bed. She instructed Aunt Hannah on how to help her manoeuvre Briar for an intimate exam. Before they had pushed back her knees her eyes fell on me.
"You'll have to leave for this."
"I'm not going anywhere," I hissed, holding Briar's hand tighter between both of mine. Her head moved slightly as she opened her eyes to look at me.
"You're not the baby's father, I can't let you-"
"I am... staying." I got out, a choke holding in my throat. Aunt Hannah's hand squeezed my arm. She'd noticed.
"He won't be any trouble." She assured the healer and continued preparing Briar for what came next. Saxton joined her. She pushed Briar's legs apart, using the sheet we'd covered Briar with early to protect her modesty some. I knew the moment Saxton's hand made contact with B. I might not have know what the healer was actually doing, but I'm not stupid enough to not know where her hand was going. B's eyes shot open and she cried in pain.
"I need you to keep her still," Healer Saxton ordered me. I hated myself for it, but I pressed my arm across Briar's chest and pushed her back into the pillows. My cheek next to hers.
"Focus on me," I whispered in her ear.
"Jamie, it hurts." She whimpered.
"I know," I didn't, but I could see it in her eyes. "Just a little bit more and when the healers done, she can get on with making it better, okay?" With that, she stood up, trying to quickly remove and conceal a blood stained glove and nodded Aunt Hannah outside again. I could hear them. Not everything, but enough.
"We need to keep things as calm as possible." Healer Saxton was saying as I got closer to the curtain.
"Shouldn't we tell them? Her?"
"It will only add to the upset." the healer shook her head.
"What is happened?" I pushed passed the curtain. Aunt Hannah looked at me with unshed tears in her eyes.
"Nothing to worry about," Healer Saxton trilled in a fake sugary sweet voice. "All that matters is that baby is making her way here. A little early but Miss Landon will be fine." My heart tightened. That was a well rehearsed line. A well rehearsed, carefully worded line. I saw what she meant. I'd put it together during Briar's exam but I had hoped I was wrong.
"And, what about..." I felt the words heavy. I couldn't say them. Aunt Hannah walked over and wrapped me in her arms.
"I'm sorry, Jamie." She whispered rubbing my back as I sobbed. "Briar needs to be kept calm though, there's the smallest chance we're wrong but she cannot know." She leaned back, holding me at arms length, her own tears staining her cheeks. "Can I trust you to keep her calm?"
"But the b-" I started.
"If you're going to upset her," Healer Saxton cut in. "I'll have to ask you to leave." I nodded my understanding and quickly wiped my face returning to B's side, holding her hand and kissing her head. The healer followed me in with Aunt Hannah. Healer Saxton started getting ready to check Briar again. B's blue eyes snapped to mine. Her hand grabbed my mine tight and her breathing quickened. She was scared. I swallowed my own pain and leaned in pressing a kiss to her cheek.
"I'm here, B." I whispered against her cheek, stroking her hair with one hand while I let her grab hold of the other tightly. It hurt, I wont lie.
"I'm scared," she whimpered.
"Quick check," Healer Saxton mutters reaching back under the covers. I didn't look, I just focused on B. On keeping her attention on me, away from the ashen faces of the Matron and the Healer.
"It's time." I heard behind me and I swallowed my fear and braced myself for what was to come.
It didn't take long. In the space of an hour the most gorgeous, tiniest baby was born. Healer Saxton wasn't much use afterwards, rage had boiled inside me when I watched her roughly push the tiny body towards the foot of the bed so she could continue tended to Briar. But as out of it as she was, Briar knew she'd been born. She knew she wasn't with her anymore. So she fought against the blonde healer. Hard. I was proud of her. Aunt Hannah pressed a bundle into Briar's arms and wrapped an arm around her. Holding her, letting her sob into the bundle.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," she whispered rubbing circles on B's arm. I realised that Briar even through the sedation, Briar had worked everything out. "I need to get you more potions," She said softly to B, holding her closer for a moment. Then she looked up at me and nodded, gesturing for me to take over. All I wanted was to hold Briar, but at the same time, I wanted to turn and run.
Shaking, I made my way around the bed, trying to avoid seeing the stained sheets, and pulled B into me. I braved a glance down at the small bundle in B's arms. Time stopped when I saw her. The tiniest of creature's laying in a swaddle of blankets in her mother's arms. The softest tuft of dark curls was the only hint she was mine because the beautiful thing was Briar's double. She looked peaceful. Unbothered by the ordeal and I let myself believe she was just sleeping. I held out a shaking hand before taking a deep breath and resting it against her. B tensed for a moment and held the baby tighter, before she relaxed and slowly looked down at our baby girl for the first time.
"Oh, Jamie" she whispered. "She's -"
"Perfect." I finished, not wanted to hear anything else. I didn't want to face the idea she was doing anything but sleeping right now.
I some how managed to keep myself together while I was with B and the baby. Even when Healer Saxton went to take her and B freaked out. To be fair, I didn't want to give her up either. I would have happily stayed with them both in that cubical for the rest of my life. But I knew that couldn't happen. I knew that we had a time limit. And B knew that too. Every time someone came anywhere near the curtain, she'd tightened her grip on the baby. It took all three of us to separate them and the look of betrayal Briar bore into me cut me. Eventually Aunt Hannah made contact with a syringe full of the sedative potion and Briar almost instantly relaxed and closed her eyes. Healer Saxton made short work of scooping up the baby from B's limp arms while I stood there helplessly now that B wasn't fighting against us. She quickly left and I found myself following her, not trusting her with the baby. But I was stopped by a hand on my arm.
"You need to rest, James." She said simply. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I just looked between the now sleeping Briar and the back of the Healer making her way towards the office at the back of the hospital wing. "She'll sleep for some time." I nodded a went to follow the Healer. "I don't think that's for the best." Her voice was soft but her grip on my arm was vice like. "They'll take care of her until arrangements are made." I just nodded, dumbly, and let her steer me towards the doors and into the hall. Into Sam's arms.
He held me and we cried some together. Before he pushed me back, looking me straight in the eyes but whispering 'I'm so sorry'. It was then I realised that Sam knew. Same knew everything. Freddie's arm slipped over my shoulder in a far more macho hug and Dom stood just behind Sam, her eyes red and puffy.
"Is she okay?"
"Briar's sleeping." I heard myself say. "She'll - she'll ... I mean she..."
"Is alive?" Sam offered.
"Yeah."
"And the baby?" Dom's voice was so full of hope. But I couldn't answer her. My mouth opened and shut but my heart hurt, I couldn't say those words. Fresh tears ran down her face as she closed the gap to cry on my chest. I held onto my cousin tightly for some time, before Fred and Sam peeled us off each other and took us to our separate dorms.
No one in the room spoke to me, I assume word had gotten around in the hours I'd been at Briar's bedside. Gossip works great like that at Hogwarts. No one complained that I cried myself to sleep.