Trigger warnings still apply.

James POV.

I didn't move once I woke. It was early. I could hear the others softly snoring around me. Apart from Freddie. He sounded like a earthquake. It felt so normal. To be led here, everyone else sleeping. Everyone having plans for the last couple of days before half term.

Except it wasn't.

Yesterday morning, I'd woken up with thoughts of how the hell I was going to break it to my parents that I was going to be a parent. You know - every 17 year olds dream conversation with his mum and dad. But today, none of that mattered. I hadn't even spent a week knowing I was going to be a dad. It shouldn't hurt this much, should it?

I checked my watch seeing that it was half five. Enough time to get myself ready and go to Briar. So I did. I forwent the shower this morning, even though it was probably a bad idea but it would be time I could spend with Briar. I quickly scribbled out a note to my parents, explaining that I wanted to stay at school next week - to get some extra studying done, of course - and shoved it in my pocket. I'd pass by the owlery at some point in my day. My clothes were mismatched and crumpled, but clean.

The journey to the hospital wing didn't take me long, or perhaps I was just too lost in my thoughts to notice, and soon Madame Abbott was in front of me. Her hands gripped my shoulders, forcing me to look at her and not over at the cubical.

"You should be in bed, Mr Potter." She said in her usual stern manner. But there was a hint of my Aunt Hannah under the tone.

"I need to see her." I said dumbly. "I can't sleep."

"I can give you something for that," she nodded sadly and tried to steer me towards her office.

"I don't need anything for it." I shook her off. "I just need to see her."

"James," She went to reach for me again, grabbing onto my wrist this time. "If you come into my office, let me check you're okay, then I'll let you go to her." I nodded and let her lead me into the office at the side of the hospital wing. "Tea? Coffee?"

"Hm?" My brain wasn't keeping up as I focused on actually sitting in the chair I had been pointed at and not falling in some exhaustion induced accident. "Oh... er... Tea, please."

"Milk? Sugar?"

"Just a splash. Two sugars." I robotically rhymed off my usual breakfast drink. Moments later, Aunt Hannah pushed a hot cup into my hands and sat herself across from me, a steaming mug in her own hands. "Thanks."

"James -"

"I don't need a talk." I cut her off. "I'm fine, just tired. I just want to see Briar."

"She's hopefully sleeping again," Aunt Hannah nodded to herself.

"Again?" Briar woke up alone? Aunt Hannah looked at me and nodded, sipping her tea.

"I had to check on her through the night, top up her pain meds." Now I was sat nodding looking into my mug. That makes sense. I just wish I had been there for her. "Now, James, it's not that I don't care what yours and Miss Landon's relationship is, it's just I've learnt that it's not my business." I nodded, dumbly, again. "However, yesterday was traumatic - for all of us - and I just want you to know that I'm offering you the same I will offer Miss Landon. If you need help talking through what happened, I'm here. If you struggle to sleep or find you can't stay asleep, I have potions for that too."

"Right." I say not really processing. "Thanks." I won't be needing her help. I just need to see Briar, I need to know she's okay. "Can I see her now?"

"Just keep her calm." She smiled sadly at me and nodded. "And yourself."

It was hard seeing her. Her sheets had been changed, which I was thankful of, and she was now in a set of pyjamas that I assume Dom brought down for her. When I first snuck into her cubical, she was awake, albeit lying as still as possible, but she didn't react to me. I wanted to reach out and hold her. But I didn't, I just sat in the chair next to her bed. I didn't know what to say. I tried a couple of times. But I just ended up opening and closing my mouth like an oversized, land-dwelling goldfish.

"Talk to me, B." I eventually got out. I reached my hand across the bed to hold hers. Her skin was cold and clammy. I only held her for a moment before she seemed to snap out of whatever stupor she had been in. She snatched her hand out of mine and recoiled, eyeing me with disgust.

"What is there to talk about, James?" she spat.

"I just need to know you're okay," I whined out and tried for her hand again.

"Don't fucking touch me." She sat up now. I could see the tears building in her eyes. "How can I be okay?"

"I -"

"I'm not okay, and I never will be." Tears started falling thick and fast. I sat there uselessly. "Don't come in here pretending like you care."

"Briar I do care," I tried.

"Really?" She was becoming hysterical and each word was cutting me deep. "Where was that care when they took her from me?" I opened my mouth and closed it. "Because you didn't care, you just let them take her - to Merlin knows where! - and you fucking held me down so they could. Really fucking looks to me like you care."

"But we'd had all the time we could-"

"It wasn't enough!" Briar's voice wobbled with each syllable. "She was my baby - my daughter - and she's gone. You just let them take her from me ." I heard it, and I felt it. The baby was 'hers'. I wasn't part of this family.

"Briar, sweetheart, please."

"Don't. Just don't. I don't want to see you anymore. Whatever this was between us, it's done now. You're a free man. Leave." Aunt Hannah came bursting in head flicking between us both quickly before running to put her arms around Briar. "I said go!" B shouted at me through her tears.

"I think it would be for the best," Aunt Hannah nodded sympathetically. So I did. I held the tears until I was on the still quiet landing.

I sulked around the castle for the morning. I didn't go to class at all. It seemed like the teachers had accepted not having me in class today. Rumour mills churn amongst the staff too, apparently. My first lesson should have been potions with Winterfell. But when he stalked passed me on my ledge near the library during second period, he said nothing about my no-show. I stayed on that ledge until the crowds flooded the corridors for lunch, when I turned to make my way back to the hospital wing.

When I arrived, Madame Abbott was distracted with another student, so wasn't there to grab me again. I made my way quickly over to Briar's cubical. She wasn't alone this time, which I was thankful for. At the same time, I wished she was. I needed to talk to her - to make her see sense - and that wasn't going to be possible with company. Sam sat in the chair I'd used yesterday, leaning his forearms on his knees so he was closer to the hushed conversation going on. Dominique sat at the other side of the bed, holding Briar's hands and stroking her hair. I'd never seen my cousin as particularly caring, but apparently I was wrong. Or maybe I was just the wrong person? Briar looked so small wrapped in blankets and her friends arms. Anger bubbled in the pit of my stomach. It should be my arms holding her, keeping her safe. But I swallowed the need to rage.

"Hi, B." I waved pointlessly as I stepped passed the curtain. B's eyes flickered to me, for just a second, before she burst into tears and buried her face back on Dom's shoulder.

"Sam- would you?" Dom whispered urgently, jabbing her head in my direction. Sam stood and sighed.

"Common, mate," He started to try and turn me away. "Let's go for a walk." I didn't want to go for a walk, I wanted to be with Briar.

"No," I shrugged him off. "I wont say anything, I promise, I just - I need to know you're okay, B."

"She's fine, Dom's looking after her." Sam put his arm around my shoulders, turning me again. "Let me look after you," His voice was soothing. Sam had a way of calming a person down. It's a talent that will lend itself well to his dream career - healing - though I still resisted him, letting my feet root themselves to the spot. "Jamie, don't make things worse. Let's just go and blow off some smoke?" I let him lead me now. Some people used that phrase to mean let out some anger of pent up energy. Sam wasn't that coy. He literally meant 'let's go have a smoke' but learnt early on that no-one ever caught him for it.

"You know," I started, taking another long suck on the joint Sam had produced out of his pocket for me. It may or may not have been our second round at this. "You're sitting right where that baby was made." Sam looked around him.

"Could have warned me." He threw me a dirty look. It was the first mention either of us had made to the baby. It was the first time either of us acknowledged our shared belief that she was mine.

"Or it might have been over by the railings," I shrugged. Sam looked both disgusted and impressed. "I should go to her." I said with an air of finality, standing up. Sam, the more experienced smoker out of the two of us, beat me to his feet.

"That's not a good idea right now, Jamie." He shook his head, blocking me with a hand on my chest.

"But I need her!"

"She doesn't need you right now." Sam said. The words hurt. Even through the drug filled haze. She didn't need me.

"But - I - We - " I stumbled over my words stupidly and let myself flop back onto the floor.

"Just give her some time," Sam joined me on the floor. "Her body's in bits, her hormones are everywhere, she's been through a major trauma - as have you -" Sam cut me off before I could even start. "She can't even begin to process anything right now while she can't even sit in bed without being in pain. Give her time." I nodded. I don't want to give her time. But I guessed he was right.

"What even happened?" Sam shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm so sorry, Jamie." I could hear the tears on his voice. "I should have done more."

"What happened?" I felt the anger from before hit me again.

"She fell." He was staring at his hands. "I was walking down the corridor with Dom, Briar was a bit ahead of us. It was busy - you know how it gets when the bell goes - and then she stumbled, and she..." He took a deep breath. "She fell down the stairs on the third floor landing. I tried to get to her, I really tried, Jamie, but there was too many people." Sam was openly crying now. We both were.

All of this for something as stupid as a stumble.