Trigger warning applies

James POV

I shot of out bed, the pain behind my eyes meaning nothing as Freddie's words registered.

"What do you mean 'Briar's missing'?" I spat, dragging my shoes over to me, fighting the rolling urge to vomit.

"I mean exactly that." He sighed frustrated with me. "Dom hasn't seen her since last night."

"We're sure she hasn't fallen asleep in the library?" I gave up trying to lace my shoes and just tucked the offending cords into the side of the shoe.

"First place we went." Sam was also in the room with us. "And it's lunchtime."

"What?" I stood quickly, not even noticing the spinning of the room anymore. "And we're only looking for her now?"

"We've been looking all morning, mate. " Sam shrugged, his voice soft. "We've checked everywhere we all know, went everywhere Dom thought of too. Now we need to know if you know anywhere she could be?"

"Dom was really worried about her," Freddie looked like he was about to throw up too. "Said she hasn't been herself, even with everything going on. Says she's been really quiet."

I didn't answer him. I knew. I knew were she could be and my heart sank straight to the floor. I just prayed she was still there. I ran like I'd never run before, my heart pounding in my chest and my stomach rolling - for once not because of booze - bumping into staff and students alike. I heard my name being shouted a few times, but I didn't stop. My destination was the other end of the building. I reached out with a shaking hand for the handle for the door to the deserted tower. I swore. She'd locked it. I dropped my hands, patting over and around my body, searching for my wand.

"She in there?" Freddie appeared behind me, Sam following him.

"Yes." I sighed and rattled the handle again. "She's locked the door, I don't have my wand." Sam quickly stepped forward and flicked his wand at the door, opening the lock, before standing back. I took a deep breathe - scared about what I was about to find. If Dom was worried, we all should be worried. I felt the boys following me and heard them muttering between themselves. I took the stairs two at a time, calling blindly, checking every platform and ledge before dashing further, higher into the tower. As my feet hit the final steps, a dizziness hit me. What would I do if she wasn't up here? Where else could she be? Or worse, what on earth could she have done to herself?

But she was there. Sat on the other side of the railing, her legs dangling over the edge of the stone window. She didn't appear to have noticed me. Her hair was limp and dragged back into a pony tail. Her arms were wrapped around her waist, which was hidden by an oversized grey hoody she was wearing. My heart thudded and I began towards her but a vice like grip on my arm stopped me.

"Briar," Sam's voice was gentle as he over took me on the stairs. Freddie still holding me back. She didn't move. "Hey, we've been worried about you." She snorted.

"Sure." Her voice was dry and raspy, like she'd been crying.

"Can I sit with you?" She shrugged and pulled her arms tighter around her chest. Sam carefully sat on the ledge with her. He looked over and whistled. "It's a long way down, B, why don't we shuffle back a little?" He stood again, and offered her a hand. Both me and Freddie held our breath, waiting to see if she would reach up for him. She did, finally, and Sam pulled her to her feet like she was a rag doll. I don't know if it was the oversized jumper, or the fact I'd gotten so used, so fast, to her swollen belly, but Briar looked like she was half her usual size. And her usual size wasn't much to begin with. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours, hey?"

"I can't anymore." Her voice shook with her despair. "Everyone gives me this look, and all it does is remind me of why they're sad for me. But no one will let me talk, and I can't talk to anyone because they don't understand. No one wants me around -"

"I want you around," My voice was weaker than I intended it. Like I was questioning myself. Briar's eye's snapped to me, still held back by Freddie, they were red and her cheeks puffy.

"No," She shook her head and took a step backwards. "No you don't. You want those pretty girls who'll do whatever you want just so you can cum." I winced. Freddie winced. Even Sam sucked in a breath.

"Briar," I shrugged off Freddie and stepped closer to her. "I do want you. Those girls, the drinking, it's all because I don't know how to deal without you. Without her." As I stepped closer to her, she stepped further away. My eyes flashed to Sam who was hovering close, ready to catch her if she stepped too far.

"You shouldn't," She whispered. "You should hate me. It's because I couldn't put one foot in front of the other she's dead. I didn't save her, I couldn't keep her safe. Why should I get to walk away from what I did when she couldn't?" Her feet kept shuffling.

"No, B, that's not true," I reached my hand out for her, she was close enough that I could almost reach, but she snatched her hand away and over balanced as she did. Time slowed as I watched her starting to fall. A look of peace flit across her face and my heart sank further still. This is what she wanted. To fall. Sam reacted quicker than me. He shoved her roughly before she made it over the edge, back into the tower, back towards me. My arms opened and grabbed hold of her tightly. I heard Fred and Sam talking quietly, then footsteps. I was too engrossed in holding the struggling Briar as close to my chest as possible. "I've got you," I whispered into her hair.

She stopped struggling after a moment, grabbing fist fulls of my shirt and sobbing against me. I let her. Tears running down my own face. At the memories of that tiny baby girl. Of our tiny baby girl. At the fear of nearly losing Briar for good. At the guilt of making her feel that she was nothing, that she had nowhere to go. I coaxed her into walking over to the cushions scattered along the back wall, the one furthest away from the window, and sat us down with her sitting in my lap, her head tucked under my chin.

"You need to let me go, Jamie," She whispered between her tears. "I'm nothing, you'll never have a family with me."

"But, B," I didn't understand her, I just held on tighter. "You feel like family to me. Without you, I've nothing left of her."

Sam had stayed with us. A fact I only realised as I turned to the feet pounding up the stairs. Freddie arrived first, followed quickly by Uncle Nev and Aunt Hannah. Uncle Nev stood with Fred, his pale face losing all colour, his hands grasping at his robes. Aunt Hannah took a moment to actually see the room before she rushed passed Fred and Neville to me and Briar. She wrapped her arms around us both, Briar still openly sobbing. It was all it took for my silent tears to become more, everything falling out of me at once now I knew someone else had hold of Briar too. That she couldn't escape. Another pair of arms joined the tangle. Uncle Neville slowly pulled me against him and away from Aunt Hannah and B. Aunt Hannah and Sam got B to her feet and supported her out. Uncle Nev held me up.

"Don't take her away," I tried to force my way passed Uncle Nev, but he held me firm. "She didn't mean it, she's just lost and they'll-"

"Hannah's taking her to our rooms." Nev's eyes met mine, he was being honest. "I wouldn't trust that place with Miss Landon right now," He muttered darkly. "Common, we can all have some tea and get you both some help."

Uncle Neville kept a vice like grip on me as we walked through the halls. I didn't see a single student, just a couple of professors in the halls, each completely enthralled in conversations with art work. He quickly muttered the password to his office and pushed me ahead of him on the stairs. I opened the door without being prompted, it was habit from being here so many times, for a biscuit and a brew or a telling off. Aunt Hannah, Sam and Briar were no where to be found. I turned back to him, my fists balling, already angry at his deceit. But he didn't even acknowledge that, he just pointed to the door at the very back of the room. I'd never noticed it before. He unlocked it and lead the way down a narrow passage. After a short walk it opened into a bright sitting room, filled with comfy chairs, plants and piles upon piles of books. Most importantly of all, Briar was sat in one of the arm chairs closest to the fire. I didn't wait to be invited to sit, I went straight to her and pulled over a stool so I could sit right beside her.

"B," I whispered, reaching out to hold one of her hands that was sitting lost on her knee. She was staring straight ahead, like she didn't even notice me.

"I've given her a little something so she could relax," Aunt Hannah came up behind me and gave my shoulder a little squeeze. "Do you need anything?" I shook my head no as the fire flickered green, My dad standing in the hearth.

"Harry," Neville sighed. "Thanks for coming." He walked across the room to shake hands.

"Not a problem, Nev," Dad waved off his apologies. "What's trouble has he gotten up to this time?" He clearly hadn't seen us. So much for his 'auror perception' he'd terrify us with as children.

"Ah..." Neville cast a quick glance around the room, Dad's eyes followed him resting on me and Briar. "I think it's better if we wait for everyone to get here." Dad took a deep breath and blew it out through his nose as he rubbed the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "Drink?"

"I think this is going to need a stiff one," Dad muttered and followed Uncle Neville out of the room. The fire flashed green again. This time my mum. I stood to catch her and she stumbled in her haste to get out of the fire. Her hazel eyes wild and terrified.

"Jamie?" She gasped. "Are you okay, what's happened? They said there was an emergency?"

"I'm okay, Mum," Aunt Hannah took her from me and guided her to a chair as Dad and Uncle Neville returned. The fire flashed a third time. A willowy woman in a tight business dress stepped out of the fire.

"Whose she?" Mum span at Hannah, confused.

"Ah, Miss Landon. Please, do join us." Of course. Chloe Landon. Briar's older sister. Now I knew, I could see the resemblance. Her hair was darker, and her eyes colder, but they were practically identical. Briar tensed and I sat back with her, whispering that it was all going to be okay. Chloe surveyed the room, and tutted.

"I knew you were lying when you said you didn't know." She sneered down at B. I heard a little gasp behind me, Mum clearly noticing Briar for the first time. But I didn't turn. Her breathing increased and her hand finally grasped mine, tightly. "If you've called me all the way down here, just to discuss this little mess they've made, I'm not interested. My Father told Briar what she needs to do to be welcomed home and I'm assuming she's chosen to keep it, so if that's all, I have meetings I need to get to." She turned on her hells back to the fire, no one moving to stop her. "Honestly though, Briar, just do the abortion. It'll be so much better for everyone." And she stepped into the fire. I don't know who was breathing harder now, B or me. Anger and rage rolled in my belly. At Chloe and at myself. If that what her family thought, then no wonder she'd reacted the way she had when she thought I'd moved on. Fury at my own actions sprang tears to my eyes. I should have been spending these weeks proving to Briar how much she was still worth, not bouncing between drink and meaningless sex. The air in the room was thick with Chloe's parting words.

"James," Mum finally sounded out. "Please tell me you did not get this young lady pregnant?"