Bella
Die. Die. Die.
Felix was flirting with some tall blonde girl who was sitting in my seat. Her fake tan made her look like an orange. What did the boys see in her? His hand rested on her leg and he had this cocky smirk on his face.
Die. Die. Die.
His very presence made me quiver in anger. Felix was the very definition of a man-whore. If murder was legal, he'd be the first one to go.
Wait, no. Jacob would be the first. Felix would be a close second.
"See something you like, psycho?" Felix turns his attention to me. "Or do you always look so murderous?"
The girl giggled, whispering something into his ear. The next thing I know, they're making out practically on top of each other. Where was the teacher when you needed him?
Die. Die. Die.
Felix wouldn't die. He stayed perfectly alive, devouring the girl's face. Oh, how I'd like to see his face… devoured in concrete.
"The psycho is watching us," the girl whispered loudly. How dense could she be? I'm standing right here.
"Yes, the psycho is watching you," I hissed. "Now get the fuck out of my seat. The psycho is angry!"
I slam my bag down on the desk, sending her running in the opposite direction. Felix looks disgruntled and sends a hateful glare my way. I've been getting those a lot recently.
"Was that really necessary?" He growls.
"No, it wasn't necessary," I say. "But she was in my seat. You can suck faces with her another day."
He laughs, surprising me. His eyes roam over my body and I hug myself a little tighter. "You're jealous."
What? Jealous of him? Puh-lease!
"And you're a conceited idiot!" I retort.
"Don't worry there is plenty of me to go around," he smiles. "You're hot when you're angry!" he whispers.
"Shut the fuck up!" I snap. "I'll tell my brother-"
"You're going to tell on me to your brother?" He smirks. "Good luck with that. You're not the most reliable girl."
I suck in a deep breathe. Don't cry. Don't cry, Bella. You're stronger than him. But he was right. Nobody ever believed me. I had screwed up too many times. I had been downgraded to the skanky slut with behavioral problems.
"You don't know what you are talking about," I said. I sniffled, feeling the tears prickle at the corner of my eyes. I shuffle through my bag, trying to hide the fact that I was crying.
Everything he was saying was true. I was on sinking and there was no one to save me. Angela had floated away. Emmett was floating away. I don't know what happened to Kate and Bree. I have a feeling they have been avoiding me… and Edward… well, he was a different story.
"Here," I mumbled. I slammed down a folded up piece of paper on the desk. It was the damn apology note. "Don't think that I still don't hate you."
For the first time, Felix looked weary. He gingerly takes the paper keeping his eyes on my shaking body.
I don't know how much time passes but the bell screeches throughout the room. I gather my things, walking out the door, feeling his eyes bore into my back. I don't know what is going to happen now. I don't want to even think about him. I just want to move on.
Detention was better than I imagined. I had a quiet place to get my work done. There was nobody to bother me and this doesn't go on my permanent record.
The only downside was boring, Mr. Smith. Half the time, he was either grading papers or getting food from the teachers' lounge. I had numerous opportunities to leave but I decided that I'd rather not get into any more trouble. He barely acknowledged me, letting me do what I wanted just as long as I didn't leave the room.
Two hours had passed surprisingly fast and it was already time to leave. Without even so much as a goodbye, I rush for the door. When I get to the parking lot, the first thing I see is Edward casually leaning against some car surrounded by his friends. Football must be just getting out. That meant Emmett was still here.
My legs felt like jelly as I walked across the parking lot. Would his friends taunt me? Would they make fun of me with Edward standing right there?
My heart races as I come closer to them. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. If I had waited until they left then everything would be fine. Edward looks too busy at the moment to notice me. He threw his head back laughing and his crooked smile made my heart stop.
I let out a sigh of relief knowing that none of them are paying attention. They don't see me. I doubt Edward would stop them from tormenting me.
A loud piercing whistle rings throughout the air. I swing my head around to see two guys smiling at me. They nudge Edward and he looks my way, scowling. His hand raises as if to give me a greeting but lowers when he sees the terrified look on my face.
"Slut," a guy loudly coughs. The others immediately join in, spearing me no mercy. My heart sinks when I look at Edward. I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed by me or embarrassed for me. He looked troubled.
"Shut the fuck up," he growls at them. They immediately back down, watching me walk away in disappointment.
Back at home wasn't any better. My mother was going nuts trying to clean the house for the Cullens tonight. Everything had to look perfect because the Cullens were this perfect family with perfect lives and my mother wanted to live up to their perfectness. But our family was far from perfect and she refused to admit it.
"How should I start this?" She mumbled to herself. The ingredients for Vegetarian Enchiladas, Esme's favorite, was spread out across the counter except the problem was my mother was possibly the most horrible cook to ever walk this earth.
Renee was good a person always with good intentions but as far as parenting went, she lacked the skills. She had always been more of a best friend to me than a parental figure. Her personality was a little wacky and she did get distracted a lot but she didn't love us any less.
However, Esme Cullen was who I always went to for advice and when I had problems. She always knew the answer to everything and could make feel better any day. I felt guilty for thinking this but I considered her more of my mother than my own.
Everything about her from her caring nature to loving smile made me feel wanted. She always had time to talk when Renee couldn't. Just like Edward she had dark red hair. She was an architectural designer and had firms in Seattle, New York City, and LA. Esme Cullen was everything I aspired to be.
"Do you want me to make dinner?" I sigh, remembering how her last attempt at cooking almost burnt the house down.
"Oh, sweetie. I don't want to make you do this, I'm sure that you've got some homework to do."
"I've already finished all of it," I say. "I don't mind, It'll give me something to."
She sets down the cookbook she had opened and turns towards me. She had a guilty expression on her face. "Honey, I don't want to make you do all of the work."
"Mom, it's fine. I enjoy cooking, you know that."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
I take the book from her flipping to the vegetarian section. She leaves me to cook and goes to clean the rest of the house. I needed this right now. I needed a distraction from my shitty life. There is a reason for comfort food, it's supposed to provide you comfort… I think. I shoved another tortilla chip into my mouth as I finished preparing the enchiladas.
I stuck them in the oven and ran upstairs to get changed. At the moment, my best outfit was a striped shirt with navy blue jeans and pulled my hair back into a low ponytail. My mother was always trying to get me to dress more feminine. She didn't want her only daughter dressing like a boy. Oh! The horror!
The sound of a slamming door sounds from outside. I look out the window to see Edward, Alice, and their parents standing in the driveway. Was it already 6:00?
The sound of Alice's soprano voice floats upstairs. She's laughing with my mother about something. Her charismatic persona draws everyone in, making her impossible to hate. As much as I'd refuse to admit, I'm in awe of her just as much as everyone else.
I walk downstairs and follow the noise to the living room. Everyone's talking about the recent football game. Edward scored some big touchdowns that guaranteeing our school's win. His cheeky grin made my blood boil in anger. How could he just sit there, laughing about that stupid sport? Because of him, my life was intentionally being ruined by his ex-girlfriend was. All he had to do was keep his big mouth shut. It's not that hard to do.
"Bella!" Carlisle exclaimed. "I was wondering when you were going to show up!"
Everyone was always dying to get the inside scoop on the Cullen family. I was fortunate enough to know him not as, Carlisle Cullen, the handsome doctor in town with the swoon-worthy British accent. But as Carlisle Cullen, a second father and a person I could talk to about anything.
He knew my love of science and medicine and always loaned me his medical books to read and taught me as much as he could. He had striking blonde hair and green eyes, just like Alice and Edward. He was a surgeon at the local hospital.
If anyone could see what was wrong, it would be Esme and Carlisle. After all, it was Carlisle's job to detect when people were hurt. They would notice and they would help me… I hoped.
"Hi," I mumble. Carlisle steps forward, wrapping his arms around me suddenly. I stiffened in his embrace. I know Carlisle. He is good. Carlisle doesn't hurt people. He heals people. I trust Carlisle… I trust him. I trust him. I trust him.
I relax once he lets go. I stare into his questioning shimmering green eyes. I look away feeling intimidated. He doesn't question me. But I know it's going to come later.
"Hello sweetie," Esme whispers into my ear. I allow my shoulders to drop, the tension fading away from my body. Her hug is warm and comforting making me want to stay in her arms forever.
"Happy birthday," I whisper.
"Thank you, hun." Her hands rest on my cheek, taking me in. She lets me go and the feeling of loneliness washes over my body sending me back into the never-ending sadness. I try to appear happy but she knows something is off. I can see it in her eyes.
Before she can say anything, a ding from the kitchen sends me running. I take the sizzling hot pan out of the oven making sure it does not burn. The spicy aroma tickled my nose and the look of the cheesy queso and spinach made my stomach rumble.
"That smells good!"
Startled, I spin around to see Alice leaning against the counter. A small smile danced upon her lips as she stared at me.
"I didn't mean to scare you," she smiles. She pushes herself up on the table watching me clean up the kitchen. What did she want?
"How are you doing, Bella?"
Her question catches me off guard. How was I doing? I was doing awful. Thank you very much for asking.
"I'm fine," I grumbled as I wiped down the counters. Her perfectly manicured nails tapped against the counter like the tick of a clock. She quirked her eyebrow at me as if to say, I don't believe you.
"You are not fine," she laughs. "You're on Tanya's hit list. You'd be crazy to be fine with everything going on right now."
"Okay, I'm not fine!" I whisper-yell. "Is that what you want to hear?"
She sighs, hopping off the counter, coming closer to me. "Yes, it is. I know Edward made a mistake telling Tanya off. He just added fuel to the fire."
"Well, there is nothing we can do about it now," I sarcastically laugh.
"You can tell everyone the truth," she suggests. "You can tell everyone what really happened at the party. I was there, I know you didn't sleep with Edward. You're too good of a person."
Alice doesn't let up. She's just like her parents. She can convince people into telling her anything. It's almost as if she can see something is wrong.
"Nobody would believe me." I nonchalantly say. "I'm already a psycho and slut. I don't want to be branded a liar."
"I don't think that stuff-"
"It doesn't matter what you think!" I growl. "You don't have half the school hating you. They don't call you names and start rumors. Maybe you should just keep your mouth shut. You can't be seen defending a slut like me-"
"Stop saying that about yourself!" She demands. "We both know that it's not true. If you won't stand up for yourself then I will!"
She wouldn't. She wouldn't ruin her social status at school just because of me. Would she?
"If you don't tell Edward to get his head out of his ass then I will. You know that everyone will listen to him. The entire town loves him."
"What about Tanya?"
"Do you really think they'll believe her over the golden boy?" She rolls her eyes at his nickname. "As long as Edward stays quiet, she'll have all of the power."
"I-I don't know Alice," my voice shakes. "I don't want to make anything worse."
"I can how much pain you are in. You don't look the same. You look tired and worn down and constantly depressed-"
"I get it," I hissed.
"I just want to help," she pleads. "Just let me help."
I take a stack of plates and utensils and shove them in her hands. "You wanna help? Go set the table for me. That'll help a lot."
I grip the table edges, trying to conceal my anger. It was like a weed growing throughout my body getting stronger and stronger. I was cracking and pretty soon there would be nothing left of me.
I take a bite of the cheesy gooey mess, mentally moaning in awe. Damn, I was a good cook. Alice keeps tapping her fingernails against the counter. It annoys the shit out of me. Didn't she have anything better to do?
"How is school going for you, Bella?" Esme asks. "It feels like we haven't seen you in a while."
Everyone looks at me but Edward. His foot is tapping against the ground and his jaw is clenched.
"It's going great," I lie through my teeth. I take another bite, hoping to avoid questions. Why did she have to be so nosy?
"Have you made any friends? I found some of my best friends in high school," she smiles. Esme takes a sip of her wine waiting patiently for my answer. When did this turn into an interrogation?
"I made a few," I mumble. Her face lights up as well as my parents. I was always shy like a little mouse, my parents used to say.
"Tell us about your classes," Carlisle says. "You are taking Physics this year, correct?"
I nod, "Mm-hmm."
"It's not as hard as you thought right?" He smirks.
"Well, that's only because you taught it to me a year in advance," I can't help but smile.
"Well, now you have the upper advantage." He laughs. "You can show everyone in class who the real science whiz is."
"After all, you are going to be, Dr. Swan someday," Charlie says. Everyone laughs, knowing that being a doctor was the only thing I wanted to be.
"Yeah," I weakly smile.
But, I don't know what I want to be anymore. Nothing is going my way and at this point, I'll most likely be a high school dropout with the grades I'm getting.
I shove another forkful of food into my mouth, wanting the attention to be diverted away. I glance at Edward to see him staring at his phone. Was he really that much of a coward that he couldn't look me in the eyes?
"... would you like to do that, Bella?"
Emmett kicks me under the table. My head swings up to see everyone waiting for an answer.
"What was the question?" I blush.
Esme frowns, noticing how distracted I am. "Well, I was thinking that since your birthday is coming up, maybe we could do something special. Just a girls day: you and I. There is a great bookstore that just opened in Seattle. It's like something out of Harry Potter. We can go next weekend. There's a little restaurant attached and we could spend as long as you'd like."
The thought of spending a whole day at the bookstore sounded perfect. Everyone knew that I hated presents. I didn't want people spending their money on me but if they were to get me anything I'd prefer it to be homemade. But a bookstore sounded perfect. Esme knew me too well.
"Doesn't that sound great, Bella! Maybe you can pick up a book again. I haven't seen you with one in a while," My mother exclaims.
"That sounds fun!" My attempt to sound enthusiastic fails miserably. I press my lips into a thin line and look down at my plate. I can feel the eyes of Edward boring into my face. Why could he never go away?
An hour later, everyone, except me, is playing Scrabble in the living room. I sit back watching everyone fight and compete to win. Who knew Scrabble could get so competitive?
It's kids vs. adults with the adults winning. Shocker! Who knew a bunch of teenagers wouldn't know how to spell? What really gets me is when Emmett puts down:
LOL
My mouth dropped open. Oh, sweet Jesus. I don't know how Emmett has made it for so many years. It's concerning the things he does sometimes.
"Emmett, do we have to take you back to 2nd grade?" Charlie jokes.
His grin widens. "Depends… will there be recess?"
Of course, that is the first thing he'd think of: recess.
I get up to go to the kitchen, unaware that Edward has followed me. I close the fridge, holding a bottle of water.
"Ahhh," I yelp when I turn around. I'm standing chest to chest- wait actually- chest to face with Edward. "What are you doing?" I growl. I try to push him aside but he won't move. God damn his rock solid abs.
"Can you move?" I back up from him. "I'd like to get back to the party."
Edward doesn't budge. If it's possible, I swear his eyes became darker. He didn't look thrilled to be here. That made the two of us.
"I'm sorry," he sighs. I cross my arms giving him an evil glare. Sorry wasn't going to suffice.
"I'm sorry about today and what Tanya is doing to you. I thought that if I talked to her, she'd listen to me."
Well, that obviously didn't work.
He runs his hands through his hair. It's what he always does when he's stressed. "I want to fix all of this. I know that you must be going through hell."
Edward sounded sincere. Like he actually cared. I wanted to believe him. Alice was right, he could put a stop to all of this.
"Well, how about you start telling your idiot friends to fuck off?" I hissed. "Did you think of doing that today? Or did you let them keep talking shit about me?"
He doesn't respond. He can't even look me in the eyes. The smallest sigh escapes his lips as he tries to avoid the question.
"Of course you didn't," I laughed. "Why would the All-Great and Mighty Edward Cullen stand up for a loser like me?"
"Bella, I'm sorry-"
"You are pathetic!" My eyes were ablaze. "You claim that you care for me yet you let them all treat me like crap. I wouldn't have thought that you would stoop that low."
I stormed out of the kitchen, not caring that he was watching. He deserved everything I said to him. I don't care about his fucking apologies. I don't care about his perfect face or perfect voice. I don't care about Edward Cullen.