Isabella
"Good morning, sweetie." Esme smiled as I wheeled myself into the kitchen. They had given me the guest bedroom on the first floor so I could get around easily. Carlisle and Esme were already sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. I blush and mumble hello and reluctantly join them at the table.
"How'd you sleep?" Carlisle asks. "I hope the kids didn't wake you up. They got home kind of late last night."
They didn't wake me up because I was already awake. They came home at 11:00 pm and I had been in bed by 10. I heard them head towards my room about twenty minutes later. Light soft footsteps- Alice walked right past my room but Edward stopped. For how long, I don't know but I could feel his presence. I could hear his breathing and I held mine; waiting for him to get on his way. Finally, he left but I still couldn't relax. I couldn't fall asleep. Carlisle had given me something to calm me before bed because he wanted to wean me off the sleeping meds.
"I didn't hear them. I was asleep." I lied.
Esme gives a tight smile, not believing a word I said. "Well, maybe when the kids get home this afternoon you can spend some time with them. I know Alice has been anxiously awaiting your arrival."
My stomach clenches at the thought of seeing her… and Edward. Things were already awkward between us and living together would be even worse. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable in his own home. That wouldn't be fair to him.
"Would you like some food?" asks Esme.
"Oh, I'm um, I'm alright-"
"Isabella." Carlisle cut me off. He gives me a look that says- you're not going to get away with that stuff here. "I understand that you had a meal plan made at the hospital and I'd like to continue the same plan here as well."
"But, I'm not hungry right now." I argue. "I'll eat later."
Carlisle shakes his head back and forth, making his answer clear. I look to Esme for help but I get none from her.
"We have to stick to a routine because one missed meal will lead to another and then several and I don't want to backtrack. You've made tremendous progress so far"
"We're trying to help you, Bella," Esme sighed. "So please work with us not against us."
"Alright." I whispered. I take a croissant and nibble at it under their watchful eyes. We sat in almost complete silence for the next twenty minutes, the only words exchanged were between Carlisle and Esme.
The rest of the day passed by slowly. I helped Esme with chores as much as I could and even briefly went outside to the garden. The only sound was the chirping of the birds and leaves rustling in the wind. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, soaking up as much sun as I could possibly get. I don't know when I last felt this peaceful. There was no one to bother me. No noise. No commotion. Nothing. It felt damn good. I could hear myself think for once and all the anxiety just floated away. I wanted to move deep into the woods and never come out.
But of course, all good times had to come to an end. I don't know how long I was out there but the tranquility was broken when I heard the sound of a car. I wheeled myself back towards the house to see Alice pull up in the driveway. She hops out, looking like a runway model.
"Bella!" she squeals. I don't have time to escape because she's already running my way.
"Hey, Alice." I force myself to smile. The bubbly bright girl doesn't notice my hesitation and bends down to hug me. I lightly pat her on the back unsure what else to do. She had way too much energy in my opinion.
She lets go and looks at me in concern. Her gaze shifts down to the cast and back to my face. I know what she's thinking. "How are you doing?" she tentatively asks.
"I'm fine." I look anywhere but at her. I didn't want to see her pity.
"You know that I'm always here to talk." she said. "You're not alone in whatever you're going through."
I nod my head, trying not to roll my eyes. That's what everyone says.
"We all are Bella. Edward's been a mess ever since the accident-"
"Where is he?" my voice raises. I didn't want to see him. I couldn't see him yet. I wasn't ready.
"Don't worry." her voice was calming; soothing. "He's at football practice. He won't be home for a few hours and don't worry," her voice hardened. "He won't see you unless you want him too."
"I don't want you guys to feel uncomfortable in your own home."
"It's your home now, Bella. As long as you're happy- we're happy." I couldn't doubt the truth in her voice. She truly did care. They all did.
"Do you want me to help you inside?"
"Uhmm…"
"Or I can get my dad. He's stronger than me." she awkwardly laughs.
"It's- it's alright. I think I'm gonna stay outside a little longer." I hastily say.
I wanted a little more quiet. I wasn't ready to be thrust back into everything. I needed a little more time to think. To relax.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" she innocently asks. "We can hang out and- OH!" she gasps. "I can bring my nail polish out and we do manicures and we'll have our own little spa day!" I didn't want to burst her little bubble of happiness. She was too kind. I reluctantly nod my head which earns another round of squeals.
Within ten minutes we were sitting at the patio that overlooked the woods, doing french tips. She talked about boys, shopping, and school for which I was only paying half attention too.
"-what do you think?" she says. My head shoots up and the confusion is obvious on my face.
"They're done! Do you like your nails?" she sighs.
"They're great!" I faked enthusiasm.
Alice either didn't notice or chose not to comment because she brightly smiled and relaxed back in the reclining chair and put her sunglasses on. "Just let them air out for a bit and they'll be dry soon."
I nod my head, knowing how seriously Alice took everything related to style and fashion. We sat in much-needed silence for about an hour and I had to admit, it wasn't half bad. Alice could be calm when she wanted to and it was almost as if she had psychic vision. She knew I needed a break.
I've been hiding in my room for the past hour. Edward came back a little while ago and I thought that I'd be prepared to see him. I thought that I could say, hello and we'd be on our way. I didn't think I'd have a near panic attack at the sound of his voice. I could even see him and that's what hurts the most.
"Bella? Sweetie, can you open up for me?" Esme knocked at the door.
"I'm sleeping."
She sighs and doesn't say anything. I knew that this was unfair of me to do, that I should be a little more grateful to the Cullens for taking me in but I couldn't see Edward. I don't care if I starved to death. As long as he was out there, I was staying here.
"Isabella, open the door." she said again. This time, the tone of her voice said it all. She wasn't asking me, she was telling me.
I mentally groan and go to open the door just a crack. Her lips are pressed into a thin line and had her hands on her hips. She wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"Can you open it all the way?"
I grumbled to myself and open it all the way to let her enter the room, closing the door behind her. Before I can argue, she's pulled open all of the shades letting light stream into the room. I cower back and block the light with my hands. "You didn't have to do that!"
"This isn't a cave, Isabella." she crosses her arms over her chest. "You need some light in this room. It's not healthy."
I like the dark. I bitterly thought.
Esme sighs and sits on the edge of my bed. She stares at me, waiting for me to say some- anything, but I'm silent. I have nothing to say to her.
"You've been awfully quiet ever since Edward came home."
I don't respond.
"Did something happen between the two of you?" her voice was on the edge.
I didn't want to tell her that her son kissed me and I ran away. A kiss was what lead to the whole break down and then being committed. I didn't want to blame her son. It was embarrassing enough as it was.
"It was nothing." I pathetically say. "We just had a little disagreement."
She didn't believe me but could see I didn't want to talk about it. I never wanted to bring it up again.
"Well, I thought you should know that Edward and Carlisle ran out to the store so it's only us and Alice in the house right now. Perhaps you'll come out and have some dinner?"
I didn't even hear them leave. True to her word, I was starving and the smell of lasagna wasn't helping. Maybe I could come out for a little bit. Just to get a bite to eat. I bit my lip and hesitantly followed Esme out into the kitchen. Alice was sitting at the table on her phone and Esme went to the kitchen to get me a plate of food.
"Alice get off your phone," Esme said as she walked back into the room.
Alice groans but listens to her and places it on the table. She pouts and picks at her food and doesn't say a word.
Meanwhile, my eyes grew huge at the amount of food that was placed in front of me. This was too much. Much more than I was used to eating. I pick up the fork and take tiny bites of the lasagna, savoring the taste.
"Can I go to Port Angeles tomorrow after school?" Alice asks, breaking the silence. "Rose and I were planning on going."
"Why do you need to go all the way to Port Angeles?"
"Because we want to go shopping for prom dresses and Forks has the trashiest stores." she rolled her eyes and humphed in annoyance. "Bella can even come with us if she wants!" she looks adds quickly. "Do you want to come with me and Rose?"
"Bella and I have an appointment tomorrow so she wouldn't be able to come anyways." Esme responds for me.
Wait what? What appointment?
"Where are you going?"
"That doesn't concern you, Alice." Esme breaths. "But wait, prom isn't for six months. What's the rush?"
"We want to go to Stella's! You know how quickly they sell out! We have to start looking now if we want to get a good dress." Alice exclaims.
Stella's was one of the fanciest most expensive boutiques around and if anyone could afford it, it was the Cullens.
"Well I'm not giving you any money." said Esme. "You still owe a thousand dollars from last year's dress."
"I'm going to pay it back… eventually." she muttered the last part. Knowing Alice, she had no plans on giving the money back despite being able to afford to.
"Fine, you can go." Esme relented. "Just be home by 10:00 pm sharp. Any later and you're grounded."
"Yes, mother." Alice cockily mumbled under her breathe.
Alice was always this sweet innocent bubbly girl. All the adults loved her because she was a respectful girl. She didn't go against the authority. But this Alice was snotty and bratty.
"Are you going to prom this year?" Alice suddenly asks.
I blush and look down at my lap. "I-I don't know."
"Omg you have to go!" she gasps. "I'll help you find the perfect dress and you come with Rose and me and it'll be so much fun and maybe even Edward would-"
"Alice." Esme's stern voice cuts through the air.
One, two, three, four…. In and out. In and out.
"You're alright, sweetie." Esme kneeled in front of me. I blink back tears and dig my nails into my wrist. I'm in control. I'm in control. "That's it, deep breathes. Just take deep breaths."
I didn't notice Alice leave the room. I forgot about the cold plate of uneaten food. I didn't hear Carlisle and Edward come home and I wasn't anticipating the nightmares. I worked so hard to push them from my mind that the memories hit me at full force. It was a night none of us were expecting.
Author's Note:
Thank y'all for reading and reviewing! Your support means so much to me! I just wanted to address a question as well from the last chapter.
Q: Why Bella is mad at Emmett?
A: Bella's mad at Emmett because she feels like everyone likes him more than her. She's always felt inferior to him and that her parents always paid more attention to him and she's held all this anger and growing resentment within her for so long and she's just letting herself see now.
Also, I don't want to reveal the end because there is still some ways to go but I know some are concerned that Jacob's not going to get the punishment he deserves but trust me, HE IS! The story is far from over so you'll just have to wait and see.
I hope to update soon again!