Warning: This chapter contains scenes relating to rape so if you are uncomfortable with those topics, I suggest you skip the first part of the chapter.

The screams started at 1:00 in the morning. That was the first sign something was very wrong.

"You're just a bitch, a fucking whore." he growled in her ear. "There's no way your precious Edward will want you after this."

She squirmed around and struggled to breathe. She couldn't get him off her. There was a strong burning pain in the back of her skull and tried not to cry. He couldn't see her cry.

"NO- Stop- Please…"

There was music downstairs. The music was playing so loud that no one could hear them. They were invisible to everyone around them.

"Tell me you love me! Tell me you need me!" he thrust into her and black dots clouded her vision. She wanted to cry out but her chest felt like it was on fire. Hungry lips attacked her mouth and just let go. She let everything go.

Tears leaked from her eyes without her knowing. She could remember the pain. The burning searing pain as he laughed above her. This wasn't his first time that day. He would come back again and again.

"We're just having a bit of fun. Aren't we, Bella? This is my birthday present to you" he spits. "You better be damn grateful."

"Please-" she choked on her words. Her movements were slow and sloppy, having been inebriated by alcohol. Jacob took advantage of this.

"You shouldn't have run from me at the party. That was a bad decision on your part. Perhaps if you'd acted differently, we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

"I'm sorry." she whimpered. It was the only thing she could think to say.

"I watched you for weeks. You're just a slut, a skank that broke up Edward Cullen and Tanya Denali. Do you know what everyone says about you? Do you know that you've ruined your family's name? You're a joke, Isabella. A pathetic joke."

She shook her head back and forth. "No no no no…" she wouldn't listen to him. She wouldn't believe him. This couldn't be true.

Ragged breaths escaped her mouth and she didn't even flinch from the loud knock at the door. She was trapped in her nightmares and couldn't escape. Nothing would wake her up.

Isabella rolled onto her side. Her underwear had been pulled back up. Everything appeared to be normal, as it once was. The devil had left but would soon come back. Half of her body hangs over the side of the bed. She lets her eyes flutter shut, not caring what position she's found in. she just wants the bad man to go away. That's the first time she passed out. That was the first time he came that day.

The commotion outside her room became urgent. Bella's dreams shifted away from the monster and his wicked ways. Edward was at a loss for what to do. Her door was unlocked and he could easily walk in and try to calm her. However, he didn't want to break any lingering trust she had for him. That's what he held onto. He couldn't invade her privacy.

It was dark, wet, cold, and uncomfortable. Bella was cursing herself at the moment, wondering how she possibly thought she could find her way out of the woods. For all she knew, she was walking in circles and wasn't making any real progress. Mud covered her legs from having fallen multiple times and her wet clothes were becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

She should have stayed at the Cullens. It was too late to turn back now.

Bella was walking whichever direction she heard a noise. That could mean a river was nearby or the road. She hoped for the second option. It didn't even occur to her that she could be going deeper into the woods- closer to the edge.

With just one misstep, she was swept off her feet and tumbled down the hill, unable to stop herself. Her jeans ripped away and a sharp stabbing pain erupted in her thigh. Finally, after what felt like minutes, she came to a stop at the end of the terrain. Bella rolled onto her back, hissing in pain. Her fingers were coated with a wet sticky substance which she soon identified as blood. Her ankle was busted and the slightest movement made her moan in agony.

Bella didn't care anymore. When- if- she was found, she didn't want to live in this constant darkness. She didn't want to deal with the hurt any longer. Not only for herself but for the benefit of her family. They didn't deserve to suffer.

Unexpected, uncontrollable laughs erupt from her. There was nothing funny about this situation. It was terribly tragic but Bella couldn't help herself. Her tears and the rain mixed, running down her cheeks. She didn't care what happened anymore.

She twisted and turned and squirmed around, sweating profusely. The beat of her heart was twice it's speed and without waking up, she had no way to calm her nerves.

Edward paced back and forth outside her room. He had yet to wake his parents or sister. He wasn't sure if he should get them involved. Perhaps he could calm her down himself.

"Don't try to move." an officer roared. "We're coming down to get you."

She tilts her head to the left to see police standing up above. Two men slide down the hill with a harness and what looks like a stretcher. They rush over to her and all she can do is cry harder.

"It's going to be alright, sweetie." the man on the right said. "We're going to get you to the hospital and everything will be alright."

Bella doubted his words as he said them. She didn't even register as they lifted her body and tightly secured her in the object. She slept and dreamt of nothing as they transported her out of the woods, into the ambulance and to the hospital. The officers were kind. Too kind to help a wicked witch such as herself. They deserved better. Why wasn't she more grateful? She was alive and breathing and going back home.

Edward had heard enough. There wasn't time to wake his parents up. Screw it. he thought. Screw it if she hates him. Her suffering was too painful to listen too. He had to help her. He had to heal her.

"Bella?" a voice whispered. "Bella, can you hear me?"

She came back to her senses too soon. She wanted to stay asleep. But… but the velvety voice tempted her. She wanted to find the owner.

"Come back to me." he pleaded. "Come back to me…"

She couldn't stay away. Something inside her told Bella to open her eyes- to comfort the grieving voice. So she acted on her intuition and her eyes fluttered open. The man beside her gasps and she shifts her head to the bronze haired boy. He was just a boy- not a man- a boy who had been grieving for decades.

She opens her mouth but no words come out. What could she say? What more could she do to heal his broken heart? This was all her fault.

"I can call the doctor if you'd like."

I shake my head. I wanted to be alone… just a little while longer.

"I was so scared-" his voice breaks. "You looked dead and I just- I…"

His head hangs in his hands, unable to speak. His shoulders shook with a powerful force and he looked broken, defeated. Bella knew it was her fault.

Unable to stop himself, Edward barges into her room. She was tangled up in the sheets, sweat dripped from her body. She clutched the pillow in her arms as if it were her life preserver. He collapsed next to her head and gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Bella." he whispers.

"Edward." she rests her hand on his shoulder. He looks up with tear stricken eyes.

"Wake up." he lightly shakes her shoulder. "You've got to wake up."

She was vulnerable- too vulnerable. Nobody could ever be this close to her. No matter how much she cared. No matter how much it hurt her.

The young girl whimpered and her breathing slowed. Edward wanted to keep her pacified because when she was angry… it was scary. "Sweetie, can you open your eyes?"

He didn't think it would work. He thought that she would go back to her night terrors. But ever so slowly, her brown eyes opened and for the briefest of moments- there was peace. She was at peace… but it quickly faded.

"Get the fuck out." her voice was full of venom. She tried to act strong but he could see the terror in her eyes. She was afraid of him.

"Bella, wait-"

"Get out of my room!" she screeched. Her eyes filled with angry tears and before he could comprehend, she was screaming bloody murder. If they had neighbors, the police surely would have been called.

"Get the fuck out." her voice wavered. She was on the edge of insanity and Edward didn't need to see. "Get the fuck out and never come back."

"Wha-"

"I don't want you here. How many times do I need to say it?"

That hurt the most. It hurt the most out of everything she had ever said or done. Cutting Edward off meant she was cutting her heart off.

His parents barged into the room before he could even blink. Edward was pushed back by his father and collapsed on the ground.

"What happened?" Carlisle growled at his eldest child.

They were both still dressed in their pajamas having urgently been woken up by their daughter. It was an obvious emergency if they were being woken up in the middle of the morning.

"She was having nightmares and I was just trying to help her. I was just trying to wake her up." Edward cried. He didn't mean to hurt her. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

"You didn't think to call us?" Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose. "Were you even thinking?"

"I'm sorry."

He mumbles something unintelligent underneath his breath, wondering how Edward could have acted so stupidly.

"Go back upstairs to your room."

"But dad-"

"Edward!" Carlisle snapped. "I don't have the patience to argue. Go back to bed this minute and we'll talk in the morning!"

He clenches his jaw and his hands tightened into fists. He gets off the ground and bites his tongue, saying nothing else to his father.

Bella had quieted down. About an hour later he heard his dad's footsteps come back up the stairs. Esme was still with Bella it seemed.

Esme stayed by my side for the rest of the night. I expected her to leave shortly after. The nightmares- memories were worse than usual. I was curled up next to her and for a moment I felt comfortable.

"You're awake," she whispered. "Are you feeling better?"

I don't say anything.

"You had nightmares- awful nightmares." her voice shook. "Carlisle almost gave you a sedative. It was that bad. Do you remember any of it?"

"I'm sorry." is all I can say.

Esme shushes me. "None of this is your fault. We couldn't have known that this would happen."

Still, I felt bad. I interrupted them from their sleep all because I couldn't keep my damn mouth shut. I could usually control myself better. Most nights I slept like the dead. Nobody would know that I was drowning in my sleep.

"Is this normal?" her voice is just above a whisper. "Do you usually have nightmares?"

I lie to her and shake my head side to side. I didn't want to worry her any further, she's sacrificed so much for me.

Esme sighs in relief and squeezes my hand tighter. The frown lines on her face seemed to have increased since yesterday and it was all because of me. I was the cause of Esme's stress.

"What are we doing today?" I change the subject. "You said that I couldn't go with Alice and Rose because we had something to do."

"You have a therapy appointment." Esme's voice was tentative. "Remember we talked about it? It was part of the agreement if you were going to be released."

"I know." I huff. "When is the appointment?"

"This afternoon at two o'clock." she pauses. "You are comfortable going, right? After last night…"

"I understand." I fiddled with my fingers. I couldn't look her in the eye or else I might just burst into tears. Why did everything feel worse? Things were finally getting better and now we were back to square one. This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"Do you need help getting dressed?" she sounded unsure. "I know the cast can be a pain…"

"I'm fine." my lips pressed into a thin line. I couldn't let her see me so… so vulnerable. I've managed fine so far on my own.

"Ok well, I'll leave you be for now…" her voice fades. Esme's about to leave the room but I stop her.

"Wait!" she freezes and turns around to face me.

"Is Ed- Edward still here?"

She can hear the urgency in my voice and sudden understanding dawns on her face. "No. He and Alice left about an hour ago for school." she breathes. "I hope you know that… that my son cares for you. He would never intentionally do anything to hurt you."

My gaze shifts towards the ground.

"You don't have to hide from Edward. He'd never let anything happen to you."

She leaves the room, leaving me to think. I knew that Edward cared for me. That was the problem. He cared too much and people get hurt when they are around me. I didn't want him to get hurt.

I manage to change into sweatpants and a sweatshirt and pull my hair up into a messy bun. I leave my room to find Carlisle in the kitchen flipping pancakes and Esme nowhere to be found.

"Sleeping Beauty's finally awake!" he exclaims and turns around.

I let out an airy laugh and bring myself to the table. Carlisle had the personality to make anyone feel comfortable. That's part of what made him a great doctor.

"How are you feeling?" he asks on a more serious note. He comes and sits down beside me and handed me a plate with a couple of pancakes.

"Fine." I mumbled under my breath.

I picked at the pancake, concentrating on it more than Carlisle. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I didn't want to think about Jacob. I never wanted to think about him again.

"You look exhausted. How many hours of sleep did you get before the nightmares started?"

I shrug my shoulders. To be honest, the memories consumed most of the night. That's why sleeping pills helped. They knocked me out and I couldn't feel anything.

"Isabella this is important." he sighed. "Your health is not something I take lightly. All I want is for you to be honest with me."

"I don't know like a couple of hours." I try to downplay it.

Carlisle doesn't look pleased. "Perhaps you should get a few more hours of sleep. You don't look well."

"I'm fine! You don't need to worry about me."

"Well it's kind of hard not too." he lost his calm. "Have you taken a proper look at yourself recently? You're sick, Isabella and everyone can see it. I don't know how many times we need to tell you until you start to take your health seriously."

"I do." my voice wavered. Carlisle didn't believe that much was clear by the look on his face. I was an awful liar.

"Then you better start acting like it because you are going down a slippery path. I thought you would have learned your lesson by now after your hospital stay."

I clenched my jaw and bit down hard on my tongue. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. I wasn't weak. I wouldn't let myself be weak anymore; I couldn't.

"I'm not saying this to be cruel." his tone softens. "We just don't know how else to make you see that there are people that care about you- I care about you."

"I know you do. I- I don't want to be this way. I tried to make myself forget and move on and be normal but I couldn't. He's always on my mind."

"Who?" Carlisle asks urgently. "Who are you talking about?"

The ride to the hospital was quiet. There was no noise except for the sound of the radio and even that was turned down. Carlisle drove and Esme sat in the passenger seat. They had gotten permission to take me to the appointment as Charlie was out of the picture at the moment.

I tried to keep my head down and be silent but Carlisle kept worriedly glancing at me every few moments- I pretended not to notice but it was obvious. I didn't mean to say what I did earlier. I just started talking and soon I was blurting everything out and of course, Carlisle doesn't miss any of it. I quickly shut down the conversation and retreated to my room before he could ask any more questions. I just wanted to forget about it.

Within twenty minutes we arrived and Esme and I went ahead while Carlisle searched for a place to park. The receptionist greeted us warmly, recognizing Esme straight away. "Hello, Mrs. Cullen. I'm sorry but Dr. Cullen isn't working at the moment."

"That's not why I'm here. We have an appointment for Isabella Swan?"

The woman briefly looks at me in curiosity before turning to her computer. "Oh, here she is! Can I just have you sign a few papers and then you can take a seat in the waiting room."

Esme handles the paperwork while I find a spot in a corner away from everyone else. There were only five other people in the waiting room: an elderly woman in a wheelchair with her caretaker. A young girl, playing in the toy box with her mother and teenage boy, I didn't recognize was sitting by himself, preoccupied with his phone. I kept to myself and quietly observed everyone.

Carlisle walked in five minutes later and sat down in the blue plastic chair. I refused to meet his gaze and fiddled with my phone.

"Where's Esme?" he finally said.

"Filling out paperwork."

He looks up at the front of the room to see her walking over to us. She sits to the left of me and right as they're about to start a conversation, my name is called.

"Isabella Swan?" says a tall woman with flaming red hair. We make our way over to her and my stomach is immediately in knots. Her smile is kind and she breathes, "Why don't we head inside?"

Ever so slowly we cross the threshold into her warm cozy office and the door closes behind us. There was a blue couch, a table, a bookshelf with buckets of toys and a couple of chairs.

"Feel free to take a set anywhere you'd like."

Esme and Carlisle situate themselves on the couch and I stay in the wheelchair. I watch as she sits in the wooden chair across from us and picks up a clipboard that was on the table.

"I'm Victoria Laurent." the green-eyed woman said with a hint of a french accent. "You must be Isabella."

I nod my head and my cheeks turn slightly pink. I pick the lint off of my sweatshirt, trying to focus my attention on anything other than this woman.

"It's nice to meet you." she says.

I press my lips into a thin line and nod my head. Was it obvious I didn't want to be here?

"You must be the Cullens." she turns to Carlisle and Esme.

"Yes," smiled Esme. "It's nice to meet you."

She was trying to cover up for my rude behavior. Just because I said I'd come, didn't mean I had to play nice.

"I've been told that Isabella is staying with your family temporarily and her father, Charlie Swan has given permission for any details regarding her mental health and well-being to be given to you. Am I correct?"

"Yes, that's correct." Carlisle spoke up. "I'm also a doctor and it was in the best interest of Bella that we agreed she said should stay with us so we could keep a better eye on the situation."

The woman purses her lips and makes a note on the paper. What the hell was she writing?

"Well consider this office a safe space, Isabella." she directly looks at me. "Anything that you say will remain confidential unless I believe that your life or others' lives are endangered. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

This woman intimidated me. She had a soft but no-nonsense kind of personality which I feared but was grateful for. She wouldn't pity me. She wouldn't treat me like I was fragile and broken. Maybe she was what I needed.

"A typical appointment is usually just the patient and I but the first time, I like to have the entire family together to get the full picture of the situation. Occasionally I'll call everyone together but most times only one adult will be needed in the waiting room." she explained. "Are there any questions?"

The room is silent and Victoria takes that as a no. "For today, I'd just like to get a clear picture of the situation and go over your previous medical history. Every visit will be different and I can't stress enough that you are in charge, Isabella. Anything you want to talk about, we'll talk about it. I'm not going to pry into your feelings, contrary to what you might think." she giggles the last part.

"And what if I don't want to talk about anything?" my voice is as cold as steel.

"Bella-" Esme admonished me.

"It's alright," she side-glanced her. "If you don't want to talk, then we won't talk. I don't want to force you into anything you're uncomfortable with. Do you understand?"

I'm not sure I believed that.

"Isabella, she asked you a question." frustration coated Carlisle's voice.

"I understand." I said through a clenched jaw. My hands tightened into fists as I tried to keep my cool.

"Thank you. I'd like to get started as we've only got an hour together." she replied. "I've read from your records that you are taking NSAID after an injury from last year, Ambien for sleep and antidepressants for depression and suicidal thoughts and actions. Has there been any changes in medication?"

"She stopped taking the NSAIDs a few months ago and I'm weaning her off of the Ambien and instead she is taking Xanax once every few nights and as for the antidepressants, she still takes that every night."

Victoria's copying this all down as Carlisle speaks. "As for the depression and suicidal behavior, this started a few years ago but it was only recently that the issue was addressed and she was just discharged from a psychiatric hospital after about three weeks."

"We were only made aware of how serious the situation was after she tried to take her own life," Esme gulps. "If we had known that her behavior would get this bad, we would have urged her parents to take action earlier."

"What triggered these emotions, Isabella?" the woman furrows her eyebrows and holds my gaze, leaving me unable to look away.

"I was just stressed out," I simply said. "With high school and everything and it just seemed to get worse."

I didn't even believe what I was saying. Carlisle mumbles something to himself that's unheard but I know he doesn't buy this. He knows that there's more to the story. Victoria agrees but she doesn't say anything.

"You were also just diagnosed with OCD which could contribute to the stress you said that you felt. Have you been treated for it?"

"Not really" I shrug. "I was just seeing the counselor at the hospital."

"Do you think that talking to someone has helped you?"

"I guess." my voice is emotionless.

"Tell me about your suicide attempt." she changes the conversation to an even darker subject. "Did you have a plan? Was it thought out?"

Memories of that day flash through my mind like a movie. I had tried so hard to put it out of my mind. I didn't want to bring it up again.

"Isabella?" she sighs.

"I…" I sucked in a deep breathe. "I stepped laid in the street and waited for a car to come. I had thought of suicide before but this was completely spontaneous. I didn't think it through."

I couldn't look at Carlisle and Esme. I was embarrassed enough as it was. Did they need to be here for this? You failed. The voice hissed. You're a failure.

"What caused you to act on your thoughts?"

Edward kissed me.

"I dunno." is what I said instead. "I just did, isn't that reason enough?"

"So you just woke up and thought, 'I'm going to take my life today?" she argued back.

No, that wasn't it at all. I thought that she was supposed to be smart.

"I want to go." my heart started to race. "I've had enough of this."

"Isabella!"

My hands started to tremble. Edward kissed me. Jacob attacked me twice in the same day. I care about Edward and I hate him at the same time. This nosy woman never seems to stop asking questions and it's annoying the hell out of me. Why couldn't I be normal? Was it so hard to ask?

Author's Note:

Yayaya! I updated again! Thank y'all for reviewing, I greatly appreciate it! As said before, it will be a bumpy road when Bella was released from the hospital so that doesn't mean that it will be easy for her from now on. There will times when she backtracks and times where she makes real progress.

I hope to update again soon!