The Diego Diaries: Next! (dd6 142)
-0-In Magistrate's Court
"Who is up next, Silver?" No-A asked as he sat back in his chair. The courtroom was nearly empty now that the biggest group of goofballs on the docket that orn had exited along with their neighborhoods, extended families, friends, and amused bystanders. It left the remaining two miscreants.
"We have the case of The Prime versus Sherma and Momus," Silver said. "They will be represented by Certo and Kib as well."
"Do you both agree to be represented by these two attorneys?" No-A asked.
"Do we have a choice?" Sherma asked. Both mechs stared at No-A with stony expressions.
"They represent most cases in the morning opener," No-A said. "Both of them are extremely capable. Given that this is an arraignment, it would be wise to accept their services, then consider your trial representation later on. You would do well with both."
They turned to Certo who grinned. Then they glanced at each other before turning back to No-A. "May we speak to them or is this kangaroo court just going to fast march us to the guillotine?"
:They downloaded the human language databases: Ratchet said with a grin. :Good on them:
Prime grinned, Prowl smirked, everyone else glowered.
"This is a serious exercise but if you wish to make it a joke then I guess I won't discourage you," No-A said calmly.
They turned to Certo and Kib, going off line to discuss the situation. It was silent in the courtroom as everyone waited, then at last, they turned back to the judge. Certo stood. "Our clients wish to have us represent them and we would like to have a reading of the charges."
No-A glanced at Silver, then nodded. Silver looked at his screen, then began. "The defendants, Sherma of Iacon and Momus of Helex are charged with the following offenses … illegally entering through Immigration and Refugees with false information and identities, living illegally in the colony under false pretenses, evading arrest, discharging a weapon in the city limits, attempting bodily harm while evading arrest, resisting officers in the pursuit of their duty, breaking and entering, ten counts of kidnapping, damaging a building in the process of evading arrest, breaking and entering into a building in a sovereign territory in the process of evading arrest, inflicting harm on individuals who bear diplomatic status as non-Cybertronians for the most part, 10 counts of threatening bodily harm, 10 counts of threatening murder, attempting to flee the scene of a crime, resisting arrest at the point of interdiction by Commander Ultra Magnus and other charges to be determined later. They're on a Primal hold given the magnitude of charges pending arraignment," Silver concluded.
No-A nodded, then looked at the pair. "What do you plead?"
They glanced at Certo who turned to No-A. "They plead not guilty, Judge," he said.
"I see," No-A said as Silver noted the plea. "Going for the wall are you?" he asked with a grin. "I accept your plea. Are there any more comments or pleadings, Certo?" he asked.
Certo glanced at the pair, then No-A. "I suppose it's too much to ask for them to be released upon bail or some other non-jail arrangement?"
"It would be," No-A said with a grin. "I do, however, give you points for asking." He looked at the pair. "You're charged with serious crimes and the court orders you to be held over in suitable confinement pending a trial. I'd suggest that you speak with Certo and Kib regarding representation. They're very good at what they do but that's up to you. Until then, you will remain in jail due to the magnitude and kind of your offenses and your willingness to press your luck trying to get away. Bailiff? Please take them to jail. The Receiving Officer of the Deck will decide where to put them for the long haul. This arraignment is concluded."
The bailiff walked to them, then nodded to the door they used earlier. Glaring at Prime, the two walked out sullenly and the room was quiet a moment. No-A looked at Prime. "We will schedule the hearing you think they warrant in conjunction with your schedule, Optimus."
Prime nodded, then everyone rose. "Thank you, No-A, and thank all of you for the prior entertainment."
"Mini-cons bring the humor," Blackstone said as he stood. He glanced at Silver. "Are there anymore or is that the end of last night's haul?"
"Alas, that's the haul," Silver said with a grin.
They chatted a moment over this and that, then Prime and the rest walked to the door to leave. As they were stepping out, the next group of miscreants were walking in for their turn on the catwalk.
-0-On the way out
"That was hugely entertaining," Ratchet said. "I suppose, given the circumstances, that we might have to transmit the trial to the humans on Earth. Court TV might insist."
"I am not sure I am up to it, myself," Prime said with a grin. "I, however, would like to see the colonies due to be shifted that contain their families be given a once over. If they can be retrieved without a problem, then we might want to do that. I am unclear where they are listed on the repatriation schedule."
Prowl nodded. "I'll check."
"We have a lot of cases coming up, Optimus," Ratchet said with a grin. "We have the rest of the Burris party including the other son, Keystone, and some of the other high tones. Don't forget that. I have already just so you know."
Amusement was had at Ratchet's expense as Partition followed with a grin. They were halfway to The Fortress when Partition glanced at Ratchet. "Gotta motor. Got an errand, then back to the Valles to learn stuff."
"Bring the hurt, Partition," Ratchet said with a grin.
Partition grinned, then nodded to everyone before breaking into a jog to run for the Metro and the Central Labor Hall down below. They watched him go, then glanced at Ratchet. "You'd be burned at the stake in a different time on Earth with all this," Prowl said as he fell in beside Ratchet.
"That's true. Donut run?" he asked. Everyone nodded so they took a right turn at the corner and headed for The Bakery At The Mall of Metroplex. Entering the building, they walked through the bustling concourse to the bakery, entering to stand in line. Several wanted to give Prime frontsies in the line, but he declined gracefully. The idea of watching the ruler of worlds standing in line at the bakery to buy a donut would have shocked the slag out of the humans. As it was, it was another reason to love him among the Cybertronians.
"At the mid month, Cybertronian football begins again," Raptor said as he looked at the others. "We have to be ready to win another championship."
"Who is this 'we'?" Ironhide asked his grandfather with a grin.
"I taught them everything they know," Raptor replied with a giant grin.
"Won't do them a bit of good. Too bad, so sad," Prowl said as he edged closer.
"Spoken like a true priss," Ratchet said. "My infants are going to shred what's left of the tattered escutcheons of Praxus Science on one skate."
"I hate football season," Prime said.
"You and me both," Ironhide said as they reached the front of the line. Given the amount and type of choices, they decided to take a few boxes with them. Donuts, crullers, buns and cupcakes, cookies, frosted this and thats, tiny tarts with all manner of filling, tiny Celebration Cake-lets for the big 'cutest little mech' (-Raptor commenting on the 'little mech' to embarrass him in front of the punters, though if truth be told, it took a lot to embarrass Ironhide. He had been bonded to Ratchet for a zillion vorns, after all) and some candy, all of it was loaded up. They thanked everyone, then tottered out with their bounty. It would be an amusing walk to The Fortress where they would let the old geezers have a donut, then walk inside for a brew and a chew. After all, they had just been in court and one had to keep their strength up.
-0-At the Valles
They sat around the several campfire devices/cook stoves hung over from the night before. It was the entire group but for Partition and his brothers. They would come back shortly after something or other. No one was sober enough to care but for the femmes and Magnus. He sat on his chair nursing a beer as Hercy, Kup and Lissie came back up the trail from town. They were carrying boxes filled with breakfast to share out given the degree of disarray before them. No one had the cure but eating after a ripping binge helped.
It would.
-0-At the Recruiting Office, Central Labor Hall, Autobot City
They waited at the door of the recruiting office for the Home Guard. Given the fun and games going up and down sheer cliff faces without falling, listening to the stories of the soldiers around the campfire, drinking beer and eating 'man food', The Lure of The Life was upon them. They had spent the night in a tent for the first time talking together as they relaxed on sleeping bags with really comfortable cushioned bottoms. Camp food and beer, running around with extremely capable mechs and femmes who were ready to show you cool stuff, listening to funny stories, old time adventures and the rest, it was all new. They had never in their lives had such a time.
Partition walked up to his brothers, then grinned. "You sure you want to do this? It's hard but its worth it. Totally."
Morius nodded. "I do. Cliff climbing is fun. I like hanging with these people."
Inweld nodded. "I want to do this. Do we tell Ada and Atar? You had a hard time of it when you did."
"We can see how you do. You know, it's no harm, no foul if you don't like it," Partition said unconsciously parroting someone elses remark.
They both nodded. "We know. What do we do to join?"
"Come with me," Partition said as he entered the office. His brothers would follow him in and when they followed him out, they would do so as recruits for the Home Guard. The next stop was The Paint Box to get an Autobrand. The Home Guard tats would come later if they decided to stay in after basic training. Once that was finished, they would grab more beer and food, then book it to the Valles and the fun and games that would last one and a half more orns.
-0-At The Fortress
They sat around the command table with plates and hot mugs. Everyone in the vast room had the same as they did their jobs. The boxes which were hardly dented waited nearby for 'second breakfast'. Ratchet grinned. "I never did ask what the femmes did with Hero."
Ironhide was silent a moment as he checked in with Elita, then glanced at Ratchet. "They dropped her with Ravie. They want to reschedule for another orn. Right now, they're in the Valles keeping everyone sober."
"That's our girls," Ratchet said with a grin. "How is it that about four of them are still single? What have we done wrong?"
Ironhide who paused a donut before his pie hole glanced at Ratchet. "YOU LEAVE THOSE FEMMES ALONE!"
Huge laughter greeted that as the room erupted in amusement. Ratchet smirked at all of them, then Ironhide. "Slagger. What sort of old dad are you?"
"The finest kind," Ironhide said as he ate his donut. "Three of them are already in harness. Let the other fillies run free. Servitude is forever."
A hard jab from Ratchet took care of that, then Ratchet paused. He looked at the others. "Barbara Morshower texted me a message. I think she's stirring trouble."
"What is it?" Prowl asked with a slight frown. "Like we NEED MORE OF THAT!"
Everyone grinned at the uptight prig, then turned to Ratchet. Ratchet grinned. "She told me that Mama Fig had done her tarot cards and found out a bunch of things including the news that someone was going to have a baby."
It was silent at the table, then Ironhide brightened. "Really? Who?" he asked. "Now or later?"
"No one knows," Ratchet replied. "She put the cards away too soon. She didn't check to see who it was."
"I have to say, Ratchet, that even though I believe in a lot of things that humans might consider illogical or spiritually odd … though there's hard evidence they exist … tarot cards stretch credulity," Prowl said.
"I'll have her around to read you then," Ratchet replied.
"No, you won't," Prowl said.
"Yes, I will," Ratchet replied.
"No, you won't." -P
"Of course, I will." -R
"No." -P
Yes." -R
"No." -P
"No." -R
"HA! You can't do that with me." -P, triumphant
"No?" -R
"YES!" -P
Everyone grinned at Prowl who was smirking with triumph. Then he frowned slightly, turning to gaze at Ratchet with heated optics. "I hate you."
Huge laughter at Prowl's expense ensued.
-0-TBC 9-29-17 edited 9-30-17 edited 10-04-17