Isabella
"My name is Bella." the phone shook in my hand. I wondered if I he could hear my nerves. This wasn't weird, was it? Just calling him out of the blue? "I got your number from my father, Charlie Swan?" It's quiet on the other side. I think he hung up. "Hello-?"
"I know who you are." he cuts me off. "You were Jacob's friend."
"Yes, I was." I let out a nervous breathe.
"Just because I'm gone doesn't mean I don't keep in touch. Your dad and my mom are dating. You and Jacob had a… falling out." he emphasizes the last part. I nod my head before realizing he can't see me.
"I-I know that you don't want to come home but I really think you should. Your mother really misses you. She talks about you all the time."
"You don't understand, Bella." he laughs. "I can't go back to Forks, there are to many memories of him…"
"I know how you feel, trust me. When someone you love is gone, nothing makes sense anymore. I struggle being here everyday." I sit on my bed and lean back against the wall and close my eyes and whisper, "but there are people here that miss you and that are worth staying for. It hurts a whole lot more when you're gone. Don't you miss your mother?"
It's silent on the other end. I know what he's thinking. She's found someone else- another family to love more than her other one.
"You are the most important thing in her life." I stress. "I- I haven't been very nice to her but I know that she's a good woman and she misses you."
"I'm sorry, Bella." his voice is rough. "I love my mother but I'm just not ready yet. I need more time. My father died so suddenly and I just couldn't deal with it. I left as soon as I could and I'm finally doing better."
"Well if you can't do it for your mom than at least do it for me?" I whisper. "Please, do it for me."
"Yo, Seth! Are you coming?" I hear from the other side of line.
"Listen, I've got to go." he sighs. "Thanks for the call but I've got to pass for now-"
"Please, just think about it!" I rush to say before he hangs up on me. "You don't have to decide right now but it would mean a lot to many people."
I wait a few seconds but the lines goes dead. He hung up. Well that was an utter waste of time.
There was still more I needed to do though and more people I needed to see. I quickly got dressed and rushed downstairs and into the living room. Emmett was in the middle of watching a football game. I stand in front of the tv, blocking his view. I wasn't going to get his attention any other way. I roll my eyes and grab the remote away from him, turning the tv off.
"What the hell was that for?" he throws his hands up in the air and groans.
"I need you to drive me to Angela's house." I squeeze the remote in my hands, slightly shaking. Why was I doing this?
"You can walk. Her house only ten minutes away!" he grumbles.
I shake my head back and forth and scoff. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? It's pouring outside! I'll get wet!"
"Why do you wanna go to her house any way?" he questioned. "You fucking attacked her before."
"I have some stuff to say." I didn't elaborate any further. This was between me and her and I didn't want Emmett getting in the middle of everything.
"You're not gonna go psycho again?"
"God no." I roll my eyes. "Can we just go?"
"We'll go in ten minutes. I've got to finish the game."
Twenty minutes later, I was standing at her front door while Emmett waited in the driveway. I contemplated whether to ring the doorbell or knock. Why the fuck was this so hard? Just chose, goddamnit! Her dogs got scared by the doorbell but they didn't always hear when I knocked. Before I would just walk right into her house. We were best friends. We were sisters and sisters didn't need to ring the doorbell or knock on the door when going to each others houses.
I deciding just to ring the doorbell. I wait a few seconds and hear her dogs, a voice, and then the door swings opens. It's Angela.
"Umm, hi." she stutters. Her eyes were wide and she looked me up and down as if I wasn't real or something. "What are you doing here?"
I take in a nervous breathe and look at the ground. This was so much easier to do in my head! "I, um, I had some things I needed to say to you." I mumble. Just do it, Bella. Be strong. Don't be afraid. "Don't be afraid." I whisper to myself. I hold my head up high and look her in the face. "I don't hate you, Angela. Do I strongly dislike you? Yes. But I don't hate you."
She grips onto the door as if she's about to fall over.
"You were my best friend and I trusted you more than anyone. You were my sister and I needed you. I'm not going to stand here and lie about not wanting you back because some crazy part of me does. I want everything to go back to normal but that's just not possible. I can't just ignore ten years of friendship and throw it away like it was nothing because our friendship meant everything to me."
"I'm so sorry, Bella." she cries. "I'm so so sorry…" Angela covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stop herself from crying.
"I've had to deal with a lot of shit and still am dealing with shit. I understand why you told Principal Greene what happened and I'm thanking you for trying but I want you to know that I don't need your help. I know that you are trying to make up for everything that has happened but nothing is going to change the past or my feelings. Too much damage has been done, Angela."
"Please forgive me, Bella." she whimpers. "Please-"
I shake my head side to side and she cries harder. "I can't forgive you now and I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to. I just thought that you should have an answer to everything. But, I can't forgive you."
ooOoo
"Are you ok?" Emmett broke the silence. I don't know why but I was crying. I told myself that I wasn't going to cry. Angela wasn't worth my tears. Nobody was.
"Just drive, please." I mutter. I duck my head to the side, discreetly trying to wipe away the tears.I wasn't ok. Angela and I were supposed to be best friends forever. We were gonna name our kids after each other and were going to be each other's maids of honors at our weddings because we had no other sisters. We had our whole life planned together. But not all friendships last. A lot of them fall apart but we never could have imagined that ours would. Breaking things off just makes it all so much more real.
"You did the right thing." he whispered. "I couldn't have done what you just did. It took guts, Bells." I crack a smile. Bells. He hasn't called me that in years.
I smile and my Emmett puts his hand on top of mine, gently squeezing. "You know that I love you right? You're the best brother anyone could ask for."
"Well you're the best sister." he grinned. "I'll stay here for as long as you want me too. I'll even stay next year if I have to-"
"No!" I instantly say. "You committed to the school so you're going to go! I'll be fine for a year on my own- It's just a year." I whisper more to myself. "I have dad and Esme and Carlisle. Besides, you can call all the time."
"You're right." he begrudgingly admitted. "Boston is so far away though. We don't know anyone out there."
"Edward's only two hours away, so you could always go and see him." I force myself to say his name.
Emmett grumbles in response and I give him a sideways glance. "I'm gonna beat the bloody fuck out of him the next time I see him!"
"Emmett-!"
"He fucking hurt you. I'm never allowing him near you again! Do you know what it was like to watch you suffer? He did that to you so I have a right to be pissed at him!"
"Well you don't have to go and beat him up." I roll my eyes. "Carlisle and Esme won't be very pleased."
"I'm sure they'll understand." he says.
I'm sure they won't.
"Besides, I can take care of myself. You don't have to protect me from Edward. He's an idiot that's not worth fussing about." I mostly try to convince myself. My heart hurts every time I hear his name.
"Well, I'm your big brother and I'll do whatever it takes to protect you. Any boy that comes will have to go through me."
Oh Jesus! What have I gotten myself into?!
"While I appreciate the sentiment, I don't want to have to bail you out of jail. Then you really won't be able to protect anyone."
We take a left and then a right and soon we're back home. I get out of the car, feeling much better than I did getting in. We walk into the house and are greeted by the sight of Sue and Charlie gushing over something in the living room.
"Dad?" Emmett calls. I follow him into the living and freeze in place. On Sue's finger is a fat shining diamond.
"I should have told you before but I couldn't wait." Charlie nervously said. "I proposed! Sue and I are getting married!"
"That's great!" Emmett exclaimed. "I'm happy for you guys, truly." Emmett patted Charlie on the back and gave Sue one of his infamous bear hugs. I escape upstairs before anyone can notice and silently cry in my room.
ooOoo
Friday, April 12
"Ahhh, Bella!" Esme was ecstatic. She stared at the screen, almost in tears, bursting in happiness. "You got almost a near perfect SAT score! You doubted yourself for no reason!" she playfully hits me in the arm. The result just came back and I'm frozen in shock. I took the test two weeks ago and just got it back today. They must have made a mistake. This must be someone else's test that they mixed up with mine. I couldn't have gotten a 1530 out of 1600, I just- I just couldn't have!
"I told you that all of this studying was worth it and you wouldn't believe me! You have to give yourself more credit! You are smarter than you believe!"
"I-I- this can't be true!" I sit down in the chair and stare at the computer. None of this was real. I'm waiting for someone to pinch me so I can wake up from this wonder dream. Nobody does.
"It is true." Esme rests her hand on my knee. "You put in all of this hard work the past several months and look at this!" she points at the screen. "It's paid off!"
I smile and cry and laugh. This was unreal- I never did this well! The old, pre-high school Bella- wouldn't of batted an eye. These types of grades were normal… but the current high school Bella was shocked into oblivion (in a good way).
"Do you want to call your dad?" Esme asked. "Or I can drive you home right now and you can show him yourself!"
"That's, um, that's alright." I feigned a laugh. "Charlie and Sue are busy planning for the wedding. They're meeting with the wedding planner, right now, I think."
"Well, I'm sure they won't mind if you interrupt them. This is big news to share!" Esme tried to sound encouraging but ultimately failed. "Bella, talk to me. I know that you're stressed about the wedding." Esme softly said.
If it wasn't obvious, I was less than thrilled. I wanted to be happy for them, I truly did, but I couldn't help but think about my mother. Yes, she's an awful woman and I hate her but she's still my mother. I can't help but think… what if Charlie had tried harder. What if they had both tried harder to save the relationship? Where would we be today?
My parents divorced a month ago and it was something we had all been expecting. Charlie earned sole custody of me after the judge learned of the neglect and trauma Renee had put me under. She didn't even try to fight Charlie for parental rights. If I had any hope that she loved me, it was gone now.
"Have you talked to your father about any of this?" she asked. I shake my head. I hadn't even talked to weren't getting married until September so it was still a ways away.
"Well I think it would really be beneficial. He understands more than you think. One thing that I know about your father is that he cares about what you have to think. He wants to know what you're thinking about."
"I dunno. I"ll think about it." I shrug my answer wasn't good enough for her but she knew not to push it any further.
"I- um- I think that I'm actually going to call Emmett. He'll want to know."
"Alright." Esme is still concerned. "Well, I'm going to get started on dinner. Why don't you also ask if Emmett, Charlie, and Sue want to eat over? Carlisle should be home any minute."
"Ye-yeah." I stammer. "I can do that."
ooOoo
Thursday, June 25
"It's summer!" Victoria exclaimed. "You're done with Junior year. How do you feel?"
I shrug my shoulders and slightly smile. "Relieved?" is that the right word? I actually made it through nine months of hell… and survived. I'm not sure anyone thought that was gonna happen. I didn't believe so myself.
Almost as if Victoria read my mind, she says, "I believed in you this whole time. I knew that you were a fighter. I never doubted you for a moment."
I bark a laugh. That had to be a complete and utter lie. I had more mental breakdowns than I could count.
"I'm serious, Bella. I've never seen another person put up as much as a fight as you. I knew from the very beginning that you were headstrong, stubborn girl who wouldn't take no for an answer."
"Stubborn," I smirk. That was one way to describe me. "Well… thank you. You honestly helped so much this year. I'm not sure what would have happened without you."
"What are your plans for this summer?" she tries to lighten up the atmosphere.
"Me, my dad, and Sue are going to Boston with Emmett in August to help him move in to his dorm." I sigh. "That should be fun."
"What do you think about him moving away?"
"I know that it's so selfish of me to say but I don't want him to go. I know that he can't stay in Forks forever nor does anyone want to but he's my brother." I gulped. "I don't know what i'll do without him."
"Have you tried telling him this?" she suggested.
I sigh and shake my head. "If I tell him then he'll actually stay. I don't want to him to give up on the school of his dreams because of me. He deserves to be happy and have a good life. Emmett's had to deal with my shit for too long now. This isn't about me or my happiness anymore."
"That's a very noble thing of you to say, but you don't know how he'll respond if you never tell him."
And I'm never going to. I can't rely on him for everything and I won't make him suffer with me. The whole point of this year is about forgiveness and healing and moving on. That was my New Years Resolution. i would be a better me this year. I'm not sure that it was really fulfilled but I'd like to think that I'm trying now.
"Well what else are you doing this summer?"
"Not much. I'm going to work at the bookstore and then the others are coming back in a couple of weeks." my mind goes over all the bad things that could happen.
"Are you ready to see Edward?" she asks.
My stomach's queasy as I think about him. I didn't want to see him but at the same time, it was inevitable that we could stay apart. Forks was so small that we were bound to cross points at some point.
"I don't think I'll ever be ready." I scoff. "I don't want to think about him anymore. Sometimes I wished that he was dead. Does that make me a bad person?" I cock my head to the side and stare at Victoria.
"I…" she ponders. "I don't think that it makes you a bad person. You're still grieving whether you want to admit it or not. Remember the five stages of grief?"
"Please, don't bring that up." I rolled my eyes and slightly laughed. "Haven't I been stuck in the anger phase like forever? I don't buy that whole thing."
"I know you don't." she said amused. "But maybe, you can try journaling or talking more with Esme or Rose about how you're feeling if you can't talk to Emmett?"
"I dunno." I said nonchalantly. "We'll see."
ooOoo
Saturday, July 4th
I shriek and whip around when I hear a voice whisper in my ear, "Bellaboo." Jasper stands there proud and tall and I fling myself into his arms.
"Jasper!" I squeal. I wrap my arms around his neck and he swings me around. "Oh my god it's been forever! I thought you weren't arriving until tomorrow!"
"That was originally the plan but I didn't want to miss the barbecue!" Jasper laughed. I slap him in the arm, bursting with excitement.
It was the the fourth of the July and everyone always came to my house for the annual barbecue. It had become a tradition over the years with the Hales, Cullens, Jacob's, and Angela's families coming. It was an event everyone looked forward to but this year we were down a couple of families.
"Does Alice know that you are here yet?" I smirk.
"Nope." he pops the p. "And don't tell her. It's a surprise!"
I smile wide, know that Alice was going to freak. They hadn't seen each other in forever and I knew she had to be going insane.
A moment later the screen door opens and Rose comes running into the backyard with Emmett trailing. "Bella!" we both stumble back as we tightly hug each other. It had only been seven months but Rose already looked older and if possible, even more beautiful.
Rose lets go and just stares at me with a big smile. "You let your hair grow out!" she exclaims.
I giggle and nod my head, twirling the ends of my hair. "Yeah, I felt like I needed a change."
"Well you look amazing!"
"Thank you!" we both giggled.
A few minutes later, their parents, Kelly and Whit came outside with Charlie. Emmett and Jasper had started the grill and our parents went to sit down at the picnic table. We talked a little bit more about random stuff until the Cullens arrived. Esme brought her infamous potato salad and before a word could even be said, Alice came flying out of the house, screaming Jasper's name. Not caring who was watching, they start making out. All of us were used to it by now. This was Alice we were talking about. I smile at the two of them before realizing that Edward wasn't here. Carlisle and Esme had taken a seat at the table and I gave them a questioning look.
"Edward didn't come home." Carlisle announced. It falls silent and everyone's thinking the same thing. It's because of me.
"Well, where is he?" Emmett all but growled.
"In Alaska." said Esme.
"Alaska?" I burst out laughing. "What in the actual fuck!"
"That's what I said." Alice huffed in annoyance. "He said that he wanted to connect with nature and find his true self- whatever the hell that meant."
That was a load of bull. He could've just come back here. There was plenty of nature in Forks- oh wait- he's too embarrassed to face me. That's how much of a coward he was.
"Well we don't need him." Rose playfully nudged me, noticing my angry expression.
"You're right," I say. "We don't need him."
I don't need him.
The day goes on and the sun goes down. I'm sitting between Alice and Rose and are listening to Alice as she describes the fashion line she's creating. "I named it, Bella Italia." Alice looks at me as she says. I almost choke on my food.
"Alice… I- I don't know what to say." My face was as red as a tomato.
She places her hand on top of my mind and softly giggles. "You were the inspiration. I wanted to do something meaningful and that meant something to me."
"Thank you." I say and sincerely mean it.
ooOoo
Author's Note:
Hey y'all! Thank you so much for reading and all of the reviews, your support means so much to me! I'm pretty sure that this chapter is much longer than my others and I'm really excited about that! I also wanted to mention a few things and answer a question from the last chapter.
The question was about whether we knew the tribes reaction to the rape: I never really did talk much about the tribe's reaction to the rape but that will all be explained more clearly in the upcoming chapters and it will all be more clear
I also wanted to say that Seth still is in the story and this is not the end of him. In this chapter I talked about divorce and parental rights and be aware that I'm not an expert on the topics and I probably did get stuff wrong! This is a fiction story so not everything is going to be accurate!
That should be it for now and I'm gonna try to update again sometime next week! I hope you are all having a good week and stay safe!