The Diego Diaries: New Penny (dd6 170)
-0-Metro Femme
"Is the protoform ready?" Gypsy asked as she held a shiny new spark in her servos.
"Over here, Gypsy," one of her team members, Jilius, said.
Ironhide and everyone else listened on the other side of the screens as the spark was tended to. When the whoosh came, it was as if the world had stepped off their shoulders. A cheer went up, then the door opened. "What's going on?" someone said.
"We have a baby," Ravel said with delight. That's when everyone fogged in and celebrations erupted.
Ironhide stepped back, then walked to the front of the screen. "RATCHET! I WANT TO SEE!"
"FRAG YOU, IRONHIDE!"
Huge laughter greeted that as the infant was measured, checked over and found sound. Gypsy turned to him holding the baby. "Here you go, Ratchet. What a fine baby."
"This is a slagging genius baby. A trail breaker," Ratchet said as he took the infant. He grinned. "No one will know SQUAT about you, infant, until I show you." He pulled from his carry hold some blankets, a onesie and a Seeker bag with a smiling sun on the front. Slipping the baby in, wrapping the infant up, he put it into the bag. Kissing its face, he slid the sack into his blanket lined carry hold. "Thanks, Gypsy. You and the femmes are the best. Thanks, Percy and Wheeljack."
"It was our pleasure, Ratchet. HEAR THIS! Wheeljack, Perceptor and the four of us have taken an OATH not to tell anything including gender, appearance and name of this sparkling. DON'T ASK!" Gypsy said. "Team Ratchet has spoken, IRONHIDE!"
"FRAG THAT!" Ironhide said with a grin.
Gypsy set the monitor into Ratchet's neck jack and the screens were pulled just as the humans roared in. :RATCHET! WE WERE LATE!: Jessie Landon said.
"That's alright. It's all over but the screaming. Ironhide's screaming, that is," he said as everyone laughed loudly.
"What now, Sunny?" Ravel asked with a disapproving tone. "I AM UNHAPPY WITH YOU! YOU MAY HAVE WARS WITH IRONHIDE BUT WE ARE INNOCENT!"
Huge laughter greeted that as Ratchet hugged his ada. "I don't make the rules, Ada. Yell at Ironhide."
Everyone turned toward Ironhide. He frowned slightly. "Fraggers."
HUGE laughter greeted that. Drift turned to Ratchet. "Do you want to go home or what?"
"I'M STARVING!"
"Then the Diner On The Corner it is," Raptor said with a smile.
After hugs and this and that, they ambled out, a long line of slaggers and hangers-on heading for food and drink at the local hangout. Ratchet walked along with Ironhide who was frowning. "Aww. You look so cute when you frown."
"I DON'T LOOK CUTE WHEN I FROWN!" -Ironhide looking impossibly cute
"You do, infant. I always loved when you frowned. YOU'RE SO CUTE!" -Delphi reminiscing
"Well … maybe I AM cute," Ironhide replied with a grin.
"I think you are," Optimus said as he walked along with Prowl.
HUGE laughter.
They reached the restaurant, then entered. They took up every space and pushed tables together. The wait staff took orders and brought drinks, then everyone relaxed. "How do you feel, Ratchet?" Partition asked. He was sitting next to Lancer who was grinning at him.
"I feel hungry and better. We have another rug biter for the collection and I've left Prowl in the dust. Again," Ratchet said with a grin.
"Fragger. They're all mine," Prowl said as a happy Miler, Venture, Kestrel, and Tagg entered the room. They were squeezed in.
"What's the word, Ratchet?" Tagg asked sweetly.
"Mum. The word is mum," Ratchet said shooting nuclear optics to a smirking Ironhide. He grinned himself, then turned to the four sweet newcomers. "Well, Tagg, Ironhide HAD ONE JOB! Now we have a sparkling. According to his own rules, no one can see the new kid for three orns until the announcement ceremony."
"THAT'S JUST OTHERS! NOT FAMILY!" Ironhide said as he turned toward Ratchet.
"Not so loud, Ironhide. You'll wake the NEW BABY!" Ratchet replied as they came nose assembly to nose assembly. It was silent a moment, then Ratchet grinned. "You turn me on, Ironhide, when you act an aft."
HUGE laughter, gagging sounds and frowns from parental units … "THE PRIME!" … greeted that revelation. Ironhide sat back only SLIGHTLY mollified. Food came and everyone dug in. Tie looked at his son. "The children are in the day care and will spend the night. We'll go get them in the morning and get them to school. The big kids are with Typhoon and their ammas."
"Good." Ratchet glanced at Ironhide. "It looks like its down to you and me, slagger. I'm telling you, Ironhide, I'm going to smack you with my frying pan if you don't KEEP YOUR END OF THE DEAL!"
Ironhide frowned again. His family grinned. It would be an interesting lunch.
Ratchet, preoccupied, didn't notice the conversation that Partition was having with Lancer.
-0-At home an hour and a half later
Ratchet walked into the apartment which was empty of everyone who lived there. Light streamed in through the window as late afternoon in Martian spring began to wind down. He noted the box by the door that Ironhide had brought in. It was from Metro Femme and the note attached read, "Here you go, Ratchet. I won't have Home Healthcare check in unless you want it. Enjoy. It's always fun with you and yours, Gypsy and the Team."
He grinned as Ironhide opened it. Pulling out the usual kit of blankets, onesies, the book that came with things that Ironhide had helped to put together, the kit of washing things and lotions, they finally came to the silver washing pail that would care for the baby until it outgrew the small basin. They looked at the names engraved but saw no one that they knew personally. Ironhide glanced at Ratchet. "I suppose I have to stay out here while you do this? Maybe? Or not?" he asked with a trace of hopefulness in his voice.
Ratchet grinned, then snuffed the trace out. "Bet your rather nice booty, slagger," he said as he took the gear and tub into hand. He walked to the wash rack, then closed the door locking it from the inside as Ironhide stood outside. Placing the things on the raised table that the infants used to bathe, he got things ready for a first wash up. He felt badly for Ironhide as he did, too. He wasn't a cold hearted slagger by choice after all.
Mostly.
Sliding the baby out after regulating the water, he unpeeled it from blankets, then grinned. Bright blue optics stared upward as a tiny form lay on the table. Its unique features were glorious to him and he felt vindicated for going for a non-conventional format and design. Picking the baby up gently, he lay it in the warm water. The baby smiled. Washing it gently, drying carefully with a soft towel, the baby ended up in a onesie again. Laying the baby on blankets, he wrapped it up, carefully covering it with a blanket, then walked to the door. Opening it, he grinned. Ironhide was standing in front of it glowering. Moving past him, he walked to his chair, sat down, pulled his wrist cord and began to feed the baby.
Ironhide, making (unsuccessful) attempts to 'nonchalantly' peer at the infant as he sat in his chair, frowned again. "This is going to be a long three orns."
"Your rules, slagger," Ratchet said as he peered at the infant under cover of blankets. "I'm thinking you can put the bassinet on my side of the berth or sleep on the couch for the next three orns. Your call."
"You really want to turn the screws," Ironhide said.
"YOU HAD ONE JOB!" Ratchet said.
A tiny meep could be heard, then Ratchet looked inside the blankets. "You okay?" he asked. The baby smiled. Ratchet grinned. "This is one fine stellar sparkling, Ironhide. This baby likes to smile all the time."
"They all did. They liked their old dad," Ironhide moped. "This one might not know who I am. They might not know that I'm their old atar."
"Aw." Ratchet grinned. "Go to the locker today and get the basket for this one. We have to go to the First Friday Night game and I want them in a warm and safe carrier."
"I can carry it in my carry hold, slagger," Ironhide said.
"Soon enough, slagger," Ratchet said with a grin.
"Frag," Ironhide said.
-0-At a bar celebrating a number of things
The femmes, Maelstrom, Magnus, Jetta, and Partition sat at a table in Club Cybertron. They were celebrating the addition of a new brother/sister/in-law/friend. Things were great and life was good. Lancer looked at Partition. "Let's dance," she said, then rose.
Smiling, he rose, too, and walked to the dance floor. The others watched, then Elita glanced at Moonracer. "What's the deal?"
"She likes him. She told me a few times that he was cute and now that he's not a slagger, he's even more cute." Moonracer shrugged. "He seems like a nice reformed guy."
"His genitors are awful though Aunt Lissie tells me that his brothers are working out well in the Home Guard. Maybe they just needed a chance," Magnus said.
"I hope so. Lancer doesn't just like everyone," Arcee said as she glanced at the two who were dancing up a storm. "She deserves someone." She grinned up at Magnus. "What a better life can be imagined than to be in bondage the same way as you and me, Magnus?"
Huge laughter and another round of drinks greeted that.
-0-Later that night
"I promise to be good."
"NO!"
"I tripped. I didn't mean to look. I didn't see anything. Okay?"
"NO!"
Ironhide stood in the living room with a pillow and blanket. The couch was calling his name. He looked around, then toward the hallway. "Frag," he said before he reclined to recharge on the 'bad boy's berth' aka couch.
-0-The next afternoon after everyone comes home from school and day care overnighting
"ADA! WHERE YOU!?"
"Orion is home," Ratchet said as he sat on his chair holding a sleeping bundle of new goodness. "Ask me how I know."
A row of shorties lined up in front of his chair to stare at him and the bundle in his arms. All of them turned to their surly atar. "Atar, what's this?" Hero asked as she pointed at a smirking Ratchet.
"Your slagger ada has a new dollie and he won't share," Ironhide said. "When I asked to play with it, Ada made me recharge on the couch."
The little kids jolted with shock, then turned startled expressions toward Ratchet. "ADA!" -all of them
"Your old dad is a big cry baby. He's going to wait until Second Friday to play with my dollie," Ratchet said. "Your old dad is a cry baby. And a sore loser. He's a sore loser."
Little kids looked from ada to atar, to ada, to atar. Orion looked at Ratchet. "You, Ada, not doing with Atar? You's dollie you's?"
Ratchet grinned, then nodded. "Yep." He looked at Ironhide. "How low is it to use infants to get your way?"
"Low. Expect lower," Ironhide said with a grin. "We going out or staying in?"
"Where's everyone else?" Ratchet asked.
"They'll be home shortly. I'll tell them to meet us at The Pit Stop," Ironhide said. "INFANTS! GET READY TO DEPLOY!"
Four little kids hopped to it, putting things away, then lining up at the door. They grinned together, a most becoming sight. "WE GO TO THE PLACE! WE EATING DOSE!" Orion said happily.
-0-Shortly later at The Pit Stop
Everyone sat along with the big kids who had come to the restaurant directly with Sunspot and Bos who was spending the night. They ordered, then Bos noticed the bundle in Ratchet's arms. "What's that, Ada? Is it a sparkling?"
Ratchet gave them all a dazzling smile. "IT IS!"
Bedlam.
-0-TBC 10-26-17 edited 10-27-17
NOTE:
Lordy. It's hard to write the baby without gender. :D:D:D