Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't make money from this fic.
August 5, 1976 Wimbourne, England - Potter Residence
Hermione sat on the wooden swing that hung in the flowering Dogwood tree in the garden behind the Potter house, watching as James, Sirius, and Remus decorated a table and the surrounding area. It was Peter Pettigrew's birthday today, and they had invited him to the house for a party. Hermione wasn't particularly fond of meeting the boy who would go on to betray James and Lily, but she couldn't rightly explain her absence to the boys without them worrying after her health.
Overall, her health had improved. She'd begun reading up on the limited mind-over-matter techniques she could find in the library, and she had made a concentrated effort to sit and meditate each night before going to bed. The first few nights, when she'd tried to push all thought away, she'd become dizzy and would have to take a break for fear of passing out. She remained vigilant, though, and made sure she meditated for at least an hour each night, breaks or no.
Her reward for her meditation was increased energy during the day. She was able to do whatever she wanted without fear of running out of steam midway through. At least, that's what she had thought the first few days. She'd been doing her nightly routine for five days now, but today she was so drained she could barely stand it. She hadn't had any more sudden falls or vertigo, which was a good sign, though the boys still helped her up and down the stairs. However, she found that the more active she was during the day, the harder it became to keep to her hour-long meditation at night. She'd fall asleep during it, or worse would forget about it all together, which was exactly what happened the night before. Last night, though, was the first time she'd experienced the nightmares. They were so severe, she'd woken up trembling around three in the morning and hadn't been able to go back to sleep, which is why she was currently so exhausted.
She sat in the swing because it allowed her to look like she was part of the gathering while preventing her from sleeping. Or so she thought. She'd drifted off a couple times and had nearly fallen to the ground, but she always managed to catch herself, and as far as she knew, none of the boys had seen her. It was during one of these moments of half-sleep when Hermione felt the swing move. It jolted her awake and she glanced over her shoulder. Sirius was behind her, both hands on the ropes and a grin that spoke of mischief plastered on his face. He pulled the swing towards him, taking a few steps back and pulling it with him, bringing Hermione with him. She had to quickly hold onto the ropes just below his hands to keep herself from falling off.
"You weren't sleeping, were you?" He murmured into her ear before letting go, sending her forward on the swing. She pumped her legs once, looking back over her her shoulder as she glided back towards him.
"No, I was just resting my eyes." She said, though she couldn't tell if it was lost in her movement. She heard Sirius snort a laugh behind her.
"Could have fooled me. You've been nodding off for nearly half an hour." He said. Hermione felt herself flush. So he had been watching her. She tried to think too much on that; recently, Sirius had started sticking to her quite a bit more than normal, following her around like a lost puppy. He'd begun sitting in the library with Remus and her, sometimes joined by James, but more often than not, alone. He and Remus had taken to playing Wizard's Chess quietly while Hermione read, but Hermione had a tendency to help Sirius when this was the case, but to Remus's displeasure.
"It was a rough night." Hermione sighed at last, giving up on pumping her legs.
"Why's that?" Sirius asked, slowing her down, to a gentle back-and-forth.
"Dunno. Tossed and turned all night." She lied, smoothly. Sirius went quiet and when she looked back at him, his eyebrows had pulled together. "What?" She asked him.
"Remus said he heard you- erm, talking in your sleep. Loudly." He said, not looking at her. Hermione paled. It would make sense, she figured, that if she could hear the boys talking in her closet, Remus would be able to hear her, as well. "Are you okay, Hermione?" he asked.
"Nightmares. Of the night when- you know." Hermione said. It was a half-truth, but a believable one. Besides, she was certain the attackers in her dreams were Death Eaters. Sirius nodded once, still not looking at her.
"Want me to walk you up to your room? I can get you some Dreamless Sleep potion, if you want, too?" he asked. She smiled at him.
"Thanks for the offer, Sirius, but I don't want to worry everyone, especially Aunt Effie." she said. Sirius frowned, but nodded.
"Suit yourself. Peter will be here in a bit. Wanna get in a game of chess while we wait?" He asked. She nodded, standing up from the swing and following him to the table where Remus and James had just finished setting up.
That Night, Wimbourne, England - Potter Residence
Hermione finally made it back to her room that night at around nine, still a little early to go to bed, but she planned on getting in her full meditation if it killed her. The boys, who had walked her upstairs, had immediately retreated to Remus's room, though Peter had left an hour before.
Hermione moved towards her closet to change when she noticed a bottle on her nightstand, along with a little note. Curious, she walked over to the nightstand instead, picking up the note first.
Hermione,
I brought you this from Aunt Effie's supply cabinet. There's more than one bottle, and she keeps them in stock for Remus when he's here. She doesn't have to know about it.
Sleep well,
Sirius
Hermione picked up the bottle and read the neat script on the label. Dreamless Sleep Potion. She hadn't realized Remus suffered from chronic nightmares to the point that Aunt Effie would keep a stock of the stuff in her cabinet. Hermione replaced the bottle on her nightstand and moved to the closet to change. If she was honest with herself, she knew she was also hoping to catch snippets of the boys' conversations again tonight. She listened carefully as she changed, trying to pick up details.
"What do you mean, you think she know, Prongs?" Sirius hissed so low, she could barely hear.
"I mean, she said she was dog tired when you snuck out on the full moon, Pads. Emphasised it and everything." James said, clearly exasperated by his friends' attitude.
"Did it ever strike you two that she could hear us the same way I heard her?" Remus asked, worriedly.
"Shit." Sirius said, then Hermione heard a fair bit of shuffling in the room. Suddenly, her ears were filled with a familiar buzzing, and she knew they had casted a muffling charm. She sighed, then padded back out into her room. She hopped up onto her bed and settled down to meditate, pushing away all thoughts and trying to relax.
An image from her nightmares popped up, then; a small child being brutally beaten by men in dark cloaks and shining, silver masks. She shook her head, willing the image to go away, to force it back into the careful boxes she had constructed, but it wouldn't budge. She was forced to watch the scene play out, shaking quietly.
The little girl was sobbing, clutching a teddy bear and begging, pleading the men to go away. They wouldn't listen. Why wouldn't they listen?
"I haven't done anything wrong!" she screamed.
"You didn't have to. Being alive is enough of a sin, Muggle." one man said. He kicked her in the gut, then in the head. She cried for her mommy, then her daddy, but no one came.
"Shut your mouth, bitch. They're dead. And soon, you will be too."
"D-dead?" the girl's eyes widened in fear.
"I'm growing bored, boys, what do you say we finish this?" a tall man with a shock of white-blonde hair said. Hermione knew he must be a Malfoy.
"Avada Kedavra." He shot, almost lazily, towards the girl.
Hermione saw the flash of green and suddenly she was snapped back to reality by a pair of hands on her upper arms, shaking her. She opened her eyes and came face to face with Sirius, his eyes wide and concerned.
"Hermione, what happened? You were struggling and talking to yourself. Are you okay?" Sirius asked. Hermione noticed James and Remus just steps behind Sirius, all wearing concerned expressions.
"Just- er, fell asleep sitting up. Nightmares." She said. One glance from Sirius told her he didn't believe that for a second. She saw Remus throw a knowing look at James as well and knew that if she didn't come up with something, she'd have three nosy and quite persistent boys on her trail. "I was having a flashback." She sighed, resignedly. "They don't happen often, but this one was bad." Another look at Sirius told her she was believable this time.
"Have you told anyone about them? Mum, or Dumbledore?" James asked. Hermione shook her head.
"Please don't tell anyone. I don't want to cause more trouble." She pleaded. Sirius glanced to James, the boys sharing a long look before James nodded once.
"Alright, we'll keep your secret." Sirius said. "But I want you to use the potion tonight. And let us know if there's anything we can do." Hermione huffed.
"I'm not one to be coddled, Sirius Black. I'm already frustrated enough that you lot follow me everywhere. I can take care of myself, thank you very much." She snapped, placing her hands over his and gently pushing him away. She frowned at him as she watched his face fall. Part of her broke a little, watching how disheartened he was at her outburst. Another part, a far smaller part, reminded her that she couldn't stay here. She couldn't let these boys get close to her. It would disrupt time.
"I'll just- go." Sirius said, straightening up and looking at her for a moment before shoving past James and Remus and storming out the door. A few moments later, the heard a door slam. James sighed.
"Remus, mind if I room with you tonight? I really don't have time for the drama queen." He said, resignedly.
"Not at all, mate." Remus grinned wryly. James nodded, smiled a little at Hermione, then left as well. Remus stayed a bit longer.
"You shouldn't be so hard on him, Hermione. I know you're in a bad way right now, but he just wants to help." Remus said, moving to her nightstand and picking up the Dreamless Sleep potion. He looked it over then gently tossed it into Hermione's lap. "Your secret is still safe." He told her, giving her a small smile.
"Thank you, Remus." She murmured, looking down at her lap.
"Take care of yourself, Hermione. And please." He made direct eye contact with her. "Be careful."
She knew he suspected her of knowing about Sirius, and possibly even James, being animagus, but there was no reason for him to believe that she knew about him. She could still see the fear in his eyes, the unasked question. Do you know?
Hermione smiled to the boy.
"I will be, Remus. I think I'm mostly just irritable from lack of sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She said. She saw him relax, then smile.
"Sleep well." He said, finally turning and leaving the room, closing the door behind him. She sighed, glad the crisis had been averted. Hermione glanced at the Dreamless Sleep potion and shrugged. She uncorked it and took a swig, not wanting to over do it. She corked the potion and placed it in the drawer of her bedside table before laying back and swiftly falling asleep.