Chapter VII: Dinner with Vader

Six months before Luke and Leia's twentieth birthday, the preparations for the party had already started.

It was going to be a glorious day for the Empire, the birthday of their young aristocrats.

Yet they didn't really seem to care about it at all.

Their mother had tried to talk to them about it but she could not get them engaged into a conversation—they simply didn't care.

They had other things occupying their minds, each something very different.

"What's the matter, Luke?" Padmé asked her son.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," he would say.

"What's bothering you, Leia?" she asked her daughter.

"Oh, mom!" she would say, unlike Luke, she just had to speak her mind. "I just wish father would come!"

Padmé turned a sad face.

"We all do, honey," she said.

"It's been so long!"

"I know."

"I fear he won't be back in time for the party."

"Let's hope he does…"

"Do you know where he's been?"

"No," Padmé said sadly. Inside her head she said, "Looking for Obi-Wan…"

And yes, Darth Vader dedicated a big part of his life in hunting down Jedi; but most of all, his old master.

Luke had been quiet for a long time during the family dinner, Padmé and Leia were starting to interchange looks of concern.

"Isn't the food to your taste, son?" Padmé asked.

Luke didn't answer.

Leia tried to get through him using the Force.

It was of no use, so she had to use physical force, kicking him under the table.

"Luke!" she cried. "Mother's talking to you."

"What? I'm sorry mother…"

"Don't worry, honey. But stop pretending you're fine. Be honest with us, do tell us, what's bothering you?"

He looked at both off them alternately. Gave a deep sigh, and swallowed his words.

A royal guard broke into the behemoth dining room, so they all stopped talking.

"Your Majesties," the guard said. "Master Skywalker has arrived."

All three of them gasped.

"Is he coming to dinner?" Padmé asked.

"Yes, he announced he'll be arriving shortly."

"Oh!" mother and daughter exclaimed, happily.

"I've already finished," Luke said, carelessly. "I'm going to sleep."

"Wait, son. Aren't you going to stay and welcome your father? He's been gone a really long time, and he must really miss all of us."

"I'm tired," he said and left the room.

When Anakin came to his family again, not even his dark robes could hide the brightness that invaded his still handsome face.

First, he ran to Padmé and took her in his arms, they shared a short, regal and sweet kiss, hiding all the longing and passion that was devouring their souls. But, oh well, their daughter was there. And he was glad to see that small frame of a woman, so sweetly pretty while so strong and full of free will.

He gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head, after sitting down in the middle of the two women, he could smile freely like he only did in Naboo.

But it was a short-lived smile, because he soon noticed there was a family member missing dinner.

"Where's Luke?" he asked, somewhat dryly.

"He ate already," Padmé explained.

"So? Couldn't he stay and welcome his father?"

"Well, he was tired, Anakin."

"Nonsense. Tired of what? I seriously doubt he's been training much. Well, Leia?"

She blinked, surprised. "Well, we've continued our training on our own, father. Like you instructed us. And he's been doing great, pretty much like always. I don't think that's what's tired him."

"Then what is it?"

"I—I don't know."

"Why do you stutter?" he asked, sharply. Padmé looked at him, angry.

"I—I don't!" Leia yelled.

"You—you are!" he said, mockingly.

"Anakin!" Padmé cried, enraged.

"What?" he asked, not understanding what he did wrong.

"I know you've only got here, but may I remind you, you are home. Not in some political meeting. This is your daughter you're talking to, not some officer or subordinate!"

"Don't fight," Leia pleaded. "Forgive me, father. Sometimes, I get carried away by anger, and I snap. I shouldn't raise my voice with you. Sorry."

"Whatever. Tell your brother to come down."

Leia made a move to leave the table but Padmé stopped her.

"No, Leia. Don't."

"Excuse me?" Vader asked. His voice growing deeper. Not louder, certainly it could almost be a whisper, which made him sound menacing. "Do as you are told."

There appeared a little flame in his eyes, he looked at them as he would look at the imperial officers when they flaked and he needed to put them in check, though with them it was easier. If they ever dared question his orders and authority, he could just force choke them. And he did that, more often than not.

"But I can't do that now," he actually had to tell himself.

Leia looked conflicted, unsure of whether she should obey her mother or father. She respected Padmé more than anyone else in the world, but her father possessed more than just parental authority, he was her master. And she should always obey her master, though she never thought one would interfere with the other.

She looked at her mother and thought she would understand.

She looked at her father and knew that he wouldn't.

It wasn't that hard of a choice, in the end.

"I'll go get him," princess Leia said.

"Good," Vader concluded.

Padmé threw her husband a look of disappointment.

"For crying out loud, Leia! You know your brother isn't well, so please, just—go to your room, or do what you want, just leave him. Do you understand? Leave Luke alone!"

And she stormed out.

Anakin chased after her.

As Padmé walked the stairs towards her room, she could hear her husband calling her name, a hundred times, but she didn't feel like answering him. So she ignored him, infuriating him.

"Padmé! I'm talking to you!" he cried.

She just kept walking.

Anakin's blood was boiling. Hot, strong emotion stealing any common sense left in him. He lifted his human hand and he detained her. It wasn't painful, that didn't hurt her. Not at all. It simply kept her from walking or doing any kind of movement.

When he finally was an inch of distance away from her, he stopped. And tried to put a hand on her shoulder. She pushed it away.

"What?" he cried.

"Don't touch me!" her voice was shaking, but it was loud and determinate.

Anakin was too shocked to even react. Could he have heard that right?

Padmé took advantage of the moment and ran for her bedroom. When he recovered from the surprise, he followed her. But, as he tried to enter the room—why, it was locked! What could she mean by doing that?

"Padmé…" he pushed back all his basic instincts so he could speak calmly. But it was too hard, before he could realize, Vader was shouting. "Open the door! Open it, now!"

She wouldn't do it.

He grabbed the doorknob and ripped the door from the walls. She looked at him, terrified and ran into her private rooms. She was in so much haste that she forgot to close the doors. Vader did that for her. There they were in those closed rooms, so isolated from anyone (there no one could hear anything they did or said), so cold and gray; Padmé looked incredibly lost.

She threw herself into the bed and began sobbing.

Her tears extinguished the dark flame in Anakin.

He sat next to her in the bed, and begged her for forgiveness, though he didn't even know what he had done wrong.

Suddenly, he tried to think of it. What could he had done to bother her so much?

He had been away for months, and their small talk wasn't even long enough for him to even say anything stupid; so, it must've been something he did before going. But, what was it? He feared to even ask.

"Please, leave me alone for a minute," she asked, desperately.

Anakin's soul was shattered.

"What have I done?" he asked. "Please, tell me, Padmé. I can't stand to see you like that, especially if I am causing it."

"I just—I miss you so much, Ani!" she cried, voice full of emotion.

He was more confused than ever.

"Then, why were you running from me?"

"Because you were chasing me!"

"Because you ignored me."

"I just couldn't stand Vader!"

"What do you mean, Padmé?"

"What's that on your neck?" she asked, softly stroking it and avoiding his question.

"A scar."

"New."

"Well, I've had it for a month or so…"

"Please."

"Yes, new."

"Who did that to you?"

"An enemy."

"Who?"

"I didn't ask for a name."

"You know what I mean. That scar was made by a lightsaber!"

Anakin sighed. "A Jedi tried to kill me."

"You mean he defended himself from you."

He wished he could finish the conversation by ordering it. He wasn't used to doing anything that didn't please him.

There came a long, awkward silence.

"Was it anyone we knew?" Padmé finally said.

"No, I don't think so."

It was her turn to sigh, but deeply sad and melancholically.

"Did he survive?"

Did she even have to ask?

"No."

She laid herself in the bed, and wrapped herself in the white sheets, though she knew she wasn't going to sleep that night, she wanted to get rid of him.

He was glad and relieved for the conversation to be over. He turned off the lights, took his shirt and pants off, and got under the covers with her. When he tried to put his arm around her, she slapped it back. If she had taken his lightsaber and stabbed him with it, she couldn't have hurt him more. He was shaking now. Could it be that… he had lost her?

Not her, exactly. Since she could never leave him. He wouldn't allow that. But—her love?

Was her love all gone?

Yes, there had been a long time since they first fell in love, but, could a love so strong ever be over? He felt as strongly for her as he did the day they were married so he can't blame time for her coldness. Who should he blame?

His human hand was on her waist and soon he brought her close to him, he kissed her forehead softly, and wetted her with his tears. If she doesn't love me anymore, he thought, I'll kill us both right now.

"Don't turn me away," he whispered. He then kissed her.

She resisted the kiss, at first. But then, she was trembling, and it had been a long time since he had made her tremble out of something other than fear.

There was no fear for the moment.

She got up, and he thought she was going to leave him, but she instead grabbed his face, her mechanical hand and her soft human one on each cheek, and she kissed him desperately. It was a kiss like the ones they had during the Clone Wars, when they both knew that every second alone was too precious to waste it. In those times, they had a ticking clock at every meeting, because soon he would have to go to a battle, soon he would have to go to report to the counsel. And after he was gone, there was no telling as to whether he would be gone for a day or a month. And then they might see each other again, but at every chance of meeting, they could never be alone. Someone was always there, making it impossible for even a loving or playful glance to pass between them; it was pure torture, perhaps even more torturous than when they kept them apart; because alone, they could think of the other freely, like they truly felt, but being together while keeping their marriage a secret? Treating each other in friendly but cool manners? Oh, when he saw the way other men looked at her, thinking her a free woman, he simply could understand why murder sometimes was so easy. But their times together made up for all that, when she kissed and caressed him, like she was right now…

But, what was driving her so madly?

It couldn't be the fight that they just had.

Why was she loving him as if she knew that they'd soon be separated?

As if the war was still going and he would soon have to leave her to sleep night after night alone.

But, well, it's not like he could complain!

"I love you so much!" Anakin whispered at her ear, while fighting for breath.

But she didn't say it back, oh why didn't she say it back?

He couldn't doubt that she felt it. Not after a night like that.

If only she would say it!

He had to ask. Even while shaking at the fact that there were two possible answers, and he could only stand one. He only wanted to hear one. But he had to know.

"Do you still love me?" he asked, and his voice was surprisingly together, not like him, inside.

She looked deep into his blue eyes.

"Anakin, I love you most desperately. So much, with so damn much intensity, that I fear my heart will snap at any moment now."

He was thrown into an adrenaline frenzy. So deliciously sweet. He grabbed her even more tightly, but, what! She still shut him out.

"Then what's the matter?" he asked, in despair.

"I can't stand that you're gone."

Had she lost her mind?

"What are you talking about? I am right here!"

"You are here, and then you're gone."

"I'll never go again if that's what troubling you."

"You don't understand."

Clearly, he didn't.

He wanted to keep his thoughts for himself, but Padmé was really getting on his nerves now. What in the world could she be complaining about?

"I wasn't supposed to be here tonight, you know."

"I know."

"There is a battle, happening as we speak, I am sure."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, but since there aren't any Jedi there, I left everything behind to be here tonight."

She didn't look impressed.

"I let the stormtroopers handle that. I am sure you know the rebellion against our Empire has gained more strength. They will be crashed, of course, but still, they're taking more of my time than I ever would've expected."

"Yes."

"But it didn't matter to me. I—I got your message."

She looked confused.

"My message? What message?"

"Didn't you send me one?"

She tried to remember.

"Oh, yeah! Like five months ago, I think. When did you get it?"

Probably almost immediately.

"A few days ago. But it was effective, you know. And sweet."

Not like her right now.

"'Just come home to dinner' it was simple and short. But it worked. And here I am."

"Oh!" tears streamed down her face.

"What?"

"It wasn't effective at all! I called for Anakin, and I got dinner with Vader!"

Again with her eagerness to use the two names as if they didn't mean the same person!

"Padmé, those are just names. They don't matter. I am just a man who loves you, and who always will. Call me whatever, my feelings will never change."

"But you change!"

"I don't!"

"An… Anakin. Have you noticed…" her words came trembling, reluctantly. "Have you noticed the way people look at you, with more fear than respect?"

He surely did and he loved it.

"Well, have you noticed that Luke and Leia look at you that way, too?"

"They respect me, I don't think they fear me."

"Anakin they tremble and crumble when you so much as look a bit displeased. They quickly leave the room when you speak to them as Vader. They have never disobeyed you. Even I sometimes—"

"What? Finish your sentence."

"Sometimes I am afraid of you!"

Was she actually saying those words?

"You can't possibly mean that."

"It's true. Because sometimes I am not with my husband. Sometimes I have to share my table or bed with a stranger. With a strange man that I don't like and who is able of cooling my skin, and make me shudder. Afraid to even say what I truly think for fear of meeting Vader."

He was silenced, yet his look said, go on and speak now or you'll never be able of letting it out.

"And the worst is that it's always so unexpected. I can be laughing and smiling with Anakin and in a matter of seconds Vader appears and I'm left frozen in panic. When I hear the terrible things that you do—that Vader does… I don't know… I feel as if I had committed those murders! And I am so invaded by guilt that I could just… die. Resign. I don't deserve to be a queen. Like you don't deserve to rule the galaxy. What have we done for the people? Have we lead them? No, they've been pushed aside."

"Have you ever seen anyone who suffers?"

"No, because you've let Naboo in my hands. But I've heard of the way people live across the galaxy…"

"Who's been telling you things?" he said as Vader came up, grabbing her tightly with not a trace of tenderness.

She jumped, and he finally understood what she had been talking about.

He meditated the situation and he stared at her beautiful, troubled face.

He wanted to cry out, "This is the way things are. Accept them but still love me."

He limited to say, "I will try to make things better."

His empty promise was enough to keep her calm for the remaining of the night.

In the morning he intended to at least make her happy during breakfast. He wanted Padmé to see him as a kind, loving, family man. He had planned compliments he would give Luke and Leia, and even propose a trip to visit Padmé's family.

But as the two rulers of the Galactic Empire sat in front of their food, waiting patiently for their twins to come down, they were left to go hungry, for their kids never came.

Anakin wanted to dragged them using the Force, for ruining his so well thought out plan, but he still had the ability to control himself, with her.

"Do you know if they had breakfast earlier?" Anakin asked.

Padmé shook her head.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I guess you were right. They don't even want to be in the same room as me."

"Don't say that, I am sure it's something else. Luke's been really down for some time now."

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. Let's not upset him too much, please."

"All right, we'll leave him for now. Should we call Leia?"

"I don't see why not."

The princess was summoned to their presence.

She appeared, pretty as she always was, but quiet and nervous. Not like her at all.

Anakin was beginning to really believe what his wife told him the night before.

"Are you all right, Leia?" he said, sounding sincere and he was.

She took some time to answer.

"I'm fine."

She sat and had her breakfast with her parents.

The meal passed by in mostly silence.

When she finished, she was about to leave them, but at last she summoned all her courage and said. "Luke's gone."

When she gave them the time to assimilate that piece of information, she simply repeated, "Luke's gone."