Chapter IX: Tatooine
"Well, that's a lot of sand…" princess Leia said as she stared at the landscape in front of her.
"Yes, your majesty," 3PO sounded annoyed. "Exactly how I remember it."
"Well, cheer up. At least I brought you to your home planet."
They droid assumed she was trying to relieve the tension.
"Your majesty," a stormtrooper said. "The ship has been too damaged and we have no one to repair it. We must find an engineer. We will contact Coruscant immediately to report what has transpired here. They will send another ship for you to continue your search. In the meantime, forgive me, you must stay in this forsaken planet. We will find you some place to stay."
"That's okay," she said. "You guys just focus on getting another ship and informing my father. Threepio and I will find somewhere to rest."
"Yes, your majesty," he accepted.
"Oh!" 3PO sighed.
They walked through the desert for a very long time, yet there didn't appear to be any living creature in sight. Just an endless sea of sand. Yellow and bright, she didn't like it much.
"Can I ask something, princess?" 3PO tried to sound as respectful as he could.
"Sure," she said.
"Why did you set course to Tatooine?"
"For one thing, I've never been here before."
Yes, no one who ever visited that place could wish to return to it.
"And… I don't know. I thought Luke might come here."
"Why would you think that?"
"I don't know—I mean is father's home planet, and… here lies our grandmother. Could you maybe take me there?"
"To her grave? Well, we probably don't have the time."
She looked around and felt that the world stood still.
"I think that's the only thing we have right now."
At last, they came into contact with other people. At last, Tatooine seemed like an actual planet, with life, not just a lonely piece of desert. There were floating cars, traffic, loud voices, alien life of almost every life form she knew, tall lizards in the middle of all; there were foreign languages coming from every corner, too. She then wished she would've gone out of Naboo and Coruscant more, for she felt very ignorant at being so amazed by everything. 3PO didn't shared that sense of wonder, he looked more pissed off than Leia ever saw him.
A bunch of Jawas came near them and 3PO exclaimed, "Oh, now I know we've entered Mos Eisley for sure. How I hate those disgusting creatures!"
"Calm down Threepio. They aren't doing anything to you. This town is actually kind of charming."
"Charming?" princess Leia speaks as if she wasn't used to the gorgeous green fields of Naboo.
"Look at that place," the princess said as she pointed to a cantina. "Should we enter it? I could so drink anything refreshing, right now. These suns are really burning me."
The droid looked appalled, but is not like he could disobey Vader's daughter.
But as they tried to enter, a voice, rude and ugly, cried. "We don't serve your kind!" referring to the droid.
Leia looked at him infuriated.
"Who do you think you are to speak to us like that?"
"Quiet, child, this isn't about you. Just let your droid outside."
"I should not do anything like that! And you, apologize to him, right now!"
The man exploded with laughter.
"Yeah, right! Listen sweetheart, if you're not gonna consume, stop wasting my time. Beat it!"
She had never been spoken to thus, in her life. Quick anger and indignation showed in her haughty face.
"You will come to regret your insolence. I am princess Leia of the Galactic Empire. You will apologize to my friend and serve me something cold to drink, right now," she spoke now easily, with the confidence her title gave her.
Little did she know that being from the royal family was like a death sentence in poor systems. Luckily, he didn't believe her, and instead, laughed more.
"Princess, you don't have to worry about me. I don't even want to go inside, just have your drink fast, if you please, and then we can return to see if the stormtroopers have managed to fix the ship, or if master Anakin has sent one."
"All right, Threepio, only because I'm so thirsty. And this guy isn't worth me getting angry."
"Pair of loons!" the man cried, and princess Leia entered the place.
Almost as soon as she set foot on the cantina she regretted it. For one thing, she was the only female, and one of the few humans. No one there looked like they had one bit of decency or decorum. And they all stared at her. Was she looking dirty? Not very put together? Why were they all staring?
She walked and sat and tried to look confident. They poured her a questionable drink, and she figured that in the end it was better to not take it.
A strange short green guy stood next to her, speaking in a language that she didn't understand, though his body language made her a little nervous.
"I'm sorry," she said, respectfully, "I don't speak your language. And my protocol droid wasn't allowed to enter."
He went on blabbing which bothered her to some degree.
"I already said, I can't understand you."
Some other guy appeared and he translated:
"He's asking you why you are here."
"That's really not of his business," Leia said.
"You look like you're rich, he thinks," the translator went on.
"Well, he isn't wrong. I am also very powerful so you must just leave me alone."
"Now here!"
The two tried to put their hands on the princess, and before they could realize what was happening, she quickly ignited her lightsaber and cut the dirty hand of the translator, who had actually managed to touch her.
"I said leave me alone!" she cried.
There was silence, and for a moment, all eyes were on her again. Then, the band continued to play and the people went back to mind their own business; the green guy also left her alone.
The little energy she spent in teaching those guys a lesson made her thirstier, so she let go of her worries and drank a few drinks. After a while she heard the sound of a blaster and a body that had been blown, she saw that it was the little green guy who had bothered her before, "Well, save me the trouble of doing that!" she thought, smiling by herself. She then thought it was time to go, 3PO must be growing desperate.
"Thanks for the drinks," she said to the bartender.
"Where do you think you're going?" the man asked her, sharply.
"Um… out of here? I already said thanks."
"To Hell with your pleasantries. You must pay for what you drank!"
"Pay?" she looked confused. Since when did princesses pay?
"You don't understand. I am princess Leia."
"Yeah, me too, child. Pay me with credits or your pretty little head!"
She was taken aback.
"I'm sorry, I don't have any money."
The man looked like he was ready to cut her into pieces.
"Come on, man" a voice said behind her, "Can a girl as pretty as that be charged?"
"Solo! You stay out of this!"
The newcomer was now standing next to her, going through her entire figure in a slow glance that made her angry, indignant, and a little ashamed.
"Now what is the problem here? Short on cash, are we, sweetheart?" he said, resting his elbow on her shoulder. For a moment, she considered taking out her lightsaber and cut his damn head.
"Don't touch me, you—jerk! And don't talk to me that way. I am princess Leia, daughter of queen Amidala and lord Vader! So if you value your life even a little, you will both leave me alone, and let me go on my way."
The man laughed nastily and for a long time.
"Oh, I am sorry 'princess'. Fall out of your castle, did you?"
The whole room was now laughing, disgustingly.
None of them could believe a member of the royal family would degrade so much by going to that far off, forgotten planet which didn't even recognize the empire (Anakin didn't care to get that planet which only brought bitter memories), even more so to that dirty Mos Eisley cantina, filled with the lowest the galaxy had to offer.
A few bounty hunters raised their heads to look at her, but even they couldn't believe a princess would be there in that place with them, especially alone.
They thought she was just some crazy, drunk fool, and didn't give her much importance.
Only that smug looking human man seemed to be interested in her. He really couldn't keep his eyes from her, which aggravated her anger.
Leia just wanted to get out of that place, but the bartender wasn't letting her, and she didn't want to hurt another person that day. She tried to be diplomatic about it and promised to come back later with money, but the man didn't trust her to do that, the stranger then tried to interfere.
"Say, man. How much did the lady had to drink? Well, that's not so much. I'll pay for her."
"No, I don't need your help! Sir, I promise I will come back and pay you even double of what I spent…"
"Shut up or you're gonna end up kidnapped or something worse," the man called Solo whispered at her ear, very softly. Leia was left frozen, the bill was paid and she was escorted outside.
"Now," he said when they were outside. "I've seen people pull all kinds of crazy things to get out of paying for stuff—more so alcohol—but you really impressed me there. That was some convincing acting!"
"I wasn't acting, you fool! I am really Leia of Naboo."
"Whatever you say, my dear. You know, if you want another free drink, I have my ship full of good stuff. Wanna join me?"
It is hard to say whether the red color on her cheeks came from anger or embarrassment. But since he found the red of her face all too amusing, she showed him another that was sure to erase that annoying, smug look from his face. Her lightsaber. She pointed the weapon at his neck, and said, arrogantly, "This is your last warning, you either leave me alone, or I leave you in pieces. Which do you prefer?"
For a second he turned white, and she noticed his body trembled, but soon enough the confident look came back, and with a relaxed voice he said, "Easy, honey, I was only trying to be nice."
"Well, now you know you have to pick your words better."
"Certainly. You could've say you were a Jedi before…"
As soon as he spoke she slapped him. She had to put away her lightsaber, fearing that at some point he'll make her kill a person for what seemed like the hundred time that day.
"I am not a Jedi! I am a Sith, you ignorant fool!"
"Right… right! Sorry! I've never been too good with religion. Didn't mean to disrespect your beliefs."
"I should slice you in two right now! I doubt anyone would even miss you!"
"There's where you're wrong. A lot of people would be very angry if you kill me. That is, if you kill me before I pay my debts. On the other hand… you might make Jabba very angry if you kill me right now, and though I would miss the look on his face… you could be making me a favor."
She was starting to lose interest in what he was saying. She looked at him with disregard and started searching for 3PO.
She saw him and called to him, he was hiding from the Jawas from before.
"Oh, finally, your majesty! I was beginning to think something happened to you."
"I'm fine… well, as fine as I can be in this stupid place. Come on, Threepio, let's get out of here."
"Wait, 'your majesty'." The man dared to speak to her again. "I should warn you. It's about to get dark, and it gets really dangerous here."
"Do you honestly think there's a person in this planet who could get the best of me?"
"I'm not doubting your abilities. But a person is not what I mean. The Sand People are known to be of trouble for even Jed… for most people."
"Thanks for your concern, but I'm not afraid of no Sand People. I've never been afraid of anyone, so just take your fake concern, and disappear with it. Goodbye."
"Wait! Just one thing. Since we might never see each other again, what's your name?"
"I already said it like a million times, I think. I am princess Leia."
"Leia, that's pretty."
"Princess—don't forget—"
"Right… right. Your lovely title. Princess," he smiled wickedly. "I'm Han Solo. Captain of the Millennium Falcon, if you ever need a ride back to your castle…" he said with a tone that was very insinuating. Could he have to courage to mock her even after she almost killed him? "I will be hanging at that Mos Eisley cantina."
"Whatever," Leia dismissed him and tried to erase his memory from her head.
She and C3PO decided to return to the place where their ship had fallen.
Han Solo watched her walk away with a strange smile on his face.