The Diego Diaries: Ho-Ho-Ho (dd6 236)
-0-On the way to The Resort
They cut across the highways, open spaces and byroads of the local area to reach The Resort. It was blazing with light as they climbed the rise to the road that led to them and the Monastery. Standing at the windows waiting, it seemed like everyone inside was there watching them come. They emerged up a rise, then walked across the road to the parking lot that fronted the massive building. Beyond the resort itself, the huge dome of the Outdoor Habitat could be seen, its lights strategically placed to enhance the beauty of the area in the night time. Beyond it, the construction of the extension could be just seen as workers began to break ground to triple the size of the outdoor portion.
Walking to the window, they gathered around Prime, a dazzling array of incredibly famous and incredibly interesting individuals. Those inside took pictures, stared in amazement and felt small. Few of them were less than fifteen feet tall and most ranged upward through twenty-five. That half a dozen or more titans were there, amused by the whole process of chivareeing was a distinct bonus. None of them were less than thirty-three feet tall and Paribolus was forty-four.
Optimus knelt down on one knee, then leaned into the window. He touched it and they touched him back. It was a beautiful and rapt moment, two different species coming together peacefully with mutual respect. He grinned. "Good evening. I am Optimus Prime," he said before the crowd inside began to applaud, jump up and down and scream. He grinned, waited, then began again. "We came to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. It is our great achievement to be friends together, to bring you here to enjoy the beauty of this world. Thank you for coming. Know that you are not alone, that we will always defend you and that we respect and love you greatly."
He stood, then subbed his guns. Everyone else did and they fired three volleys into the wasteland beyond. It was loud and the flashes of light brilliant. It was what it would be like to be in a firefight with them, these incredibly unlikely aliens. Optimus subbed his guns, then nodded to the humans. Everyone began to walk back to the road but for him. When he was alone, he knelt on one knee, bowed his helm, then rose again. With a slight grin, he turned to go. As he did, he took the acclaim of the crowd in the resort with him.
Reaching the road, the group gathered with Optimus. Cyclonus glanced at the Monastery, then Prime. "If you would stop in the Monastery, there is a small party for our children."
Prime nodded. "I would be honored." He looked at the others. "I am attending to the Monastery. If you wish, you are released."
They didn't wish. They followed Cyclonus and Prime to the Monastery beyond. The sky overhead was velvety black as the amiable group made their way, then walked up the grand concourse of steps to the building. Inside, the lights were shining as the main room was filled with party goers and their children. Entering, they paused near the doors to look at the revelry. It was low key compared to some but there were tables where families sat eating together as children played in groups, chasing and running around the room. Everyone glanced at the group, then rose to stand.
Prime waved his servo. "Friends … please. Sit and enjoy. I am here to salute you. I wish you happiness and joy through the season. Your leadership asked us to come and I am delighted to be here."
Applause broke out as mechs and the odd femme rose and came to the group to shake hands and chat a bit. Children came to be blessed as their family members grabbed and brought them forward. Held up, Prime touched them, then whispered the small blessing that his ada and atar had said over him every morning and night of his growing up. Some came just to touch him and others to chat. It was very friendly, though less ebullient than most parties but it did everyone good to see that the Guiding Hand allowed this moment to happen. Cyclonus stood beside Prime, his pride evident as the people received the Blessing of the Matrix from the First Disciple of Primus. Though they were two different traditions, they held in reverence the same things. After a bit, the group took their leave and walked out again.
It was cold and dark but the colony glittered in the distance. One could see the winding roads that led everywhere outlined by the lights that interspersed their entire lengths. In the distance, the brilliant lights of the Industrial Park Cities could be seen glowing in the inky darkness of night. Prime turned to the group. "Thank you. You are released. Merry Christmas Surprise."
Applause and whoops filled the air as they began to take their leave. Almost everyone transformed including a dazzled Laslo, Madura and Anders who were headed for Joon's apartment in newly acquired alt modes. They had never taken one before for whatever reasons and when they did after careful study of all manner of possibilities with Joon who transformed to a smart car-type vehicle, they transformed into a dazzling array of expensive concept cars. Proteus who watched as Madura rolled toward the road in the format of a Porsche turned to Prime. "He never had an alt mode. It never occurred to either of us to do that. It would surprise you, Prime, how many high castes didn't have an alternate mode." He nodded, then transformed to a Porsche himself. He rolled to the road, then floored it to catch up with Madura.
Lucien who was standing beside a nervous Laslo glanced at Ratchet who nodded. Ratchet glanced at Laslo. "What alt form did you take, Laslo?" he asked.
Laslo glanced at Lucien, then turned toward Ratchet. "I took a Bugatti. Would you like to see it?"
"Oh frag, yeah. I love Bugattis. The sports model?"
He nodded proudly. "A Veyron 16.4 Sports Rally. I went low with 1200 horsepower until I have more practice but I can go 415 miles per hour." He grinned at Ratchet with great personal pleasure. Then stepped to one side. Transforming, the beautiful aerodynamic lines of the car,, a format preferred by Drift albeit with more horsepower, shown in the lights of the Monastery. Revving up, he drove forward and disappeared into the night.
Ratchet laughed, then turned to Partition who was dazzled along with this brothers and Lucien who was hard to read. "You're going to ride to the party at Joon's?" he asked.
Partition nodded as he pulled Lancer up behind him. "We are." He looked at his father. "You need a lift, Atar? We have plenty of room."
Lucien stared at them, then the darkness beyond where Laslo disappeared. "I think I'll drive, son," he said, then transformed into a very expensive Cybertronian-style vehicle. He rolled forward and disappeared.
Ratchet glanced at the kids who were watching him go. "You better hustle. They have a huge head start."
Partition grinned. "On it," he said, then the four of them began to turn to hustle cross country to the tower where they would hitch their horses and go up to party. It would be fun in spite of things.
"Well, my marvelously wonderful dinner waits for no mech," Prowl said as he transformed. With his lights and siren going full blast, he peeled out and blasted off. It was a race at that point for the mechs and femmes to transform and head out. Nearly all of them would end up at the Residence. The humans watching would get amazing video and pictures.
Win-win.
-0-A little while later, way up there
"Why don't you two sit and we'll take care of this."
Prime and Ironhide who were in line and nearly at the start of the buffet glanced at Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. They glanced at each other, then handed the two their plates. Walking to a big couch nearby, they parked themselves, put their peds up and relaxed. "I could get used to this," Ironhide said as they watched the two heap their plates up ridiculously full, then grab beers. Walking toward another couch, the two sat down, then grinned at both. "Thanks. We were tired of waiting."
HUGE slag hit the fan as a laughing Prime and deeply affronted Ironhide let them both have it. A cuff to the nobbin from Prowl and Bluestreak added something to the hoo-haw as they both walked to the buffet to take cuts, fill two plates and grab beers. Handing them to Ironhide and Prime, adding to the slag the twins were getting from everyone in the room, they walked back to their place in line.
"No sense of humor in this room," Sideswipe said as he sipped his beer. "Slaggers. Where's the 'merry' in Christmas Surprise?"
"It was strangled to death by slaggers like you," Ironhide said as he popped a buttered bun into his pie hole. "BUNS! WARRIOR FOOD!" Huge laughter and agreement greeted that.
In no time, everyone was sitting around the room or in the corridor outside eating and drinking. The kids were at the table, the animals were circulating and all was well.
-0-At another buffet in another apartment elsewhere
"This looks so good, Joon," Anders said. "We must do this more often. I think I like cooking. I always was good at chemistry. I liked the precision."
"I do, too," Joon said. "That's all it is, chemistry. Put this and that together and you get something very delicious."
"I agree," Madura said. "I never cooked much. We always had staff. I never really did much but read and recharge. Did you know I'm taking swimming lessons? I want to go to the Water Park again. That was the most fun ever."
"My favorite part is the long slide that goes all around the ceiling of the mall before coming back to the pool. What fun," Joon said.
Bron-E and her pre-bond, Borealis sat on a couch eating together as they chatted with Neo and Laret. Borealis was a handsome kid, red mostly and very smart. He was a former low caste who was a classroom teacher for higher level sparklings, those ready for a more technical educational experience. He was the one who spotted Hero and also Praxus. Sitting nearby, Proteus and Burris discussed football and the expansion of the Resort's habitat dome. Lucien was sitting between his sons who were laughing about something he wasn't clear on, someone who had done something funny.
"How are your new occupations coming, infants?" Vinn asked as he glanced up from his plate toward Partition, Inweld and Morius.
They grinned. "I love it. I have a beat in Verus," Morius said. "I go out with two veteran officers and I learn from them. I have to do classes, community policing classes which everyone is expected to pass. It helps us build a personal relationship with the people and to build trust. We don't have trust here in every community because of the past."
Inweld nodded. "We weren't fair before but now … I like it. Its as interesting as I thought it would be. I still do legal work for the Watch and so does Mori but we do beats. I get Metrotitan. That mech is hilarious."
"He is," Joon said with a smile. "I feel better already knowing you're there to protect us," she said. "What about you, Partition. I heard you have a medic posting with the Watch."
"I do, at sub station #42. Its call out but when I'm not doing that, I ride with a horse patrol in Gambian and that area. The horse patrol is an elite group, next to detective the favorite choice. I'm lucky to be there," Partition said as Lancer nodded.
"What about you, Lancer? Are you still a soldier?" Joon asked.
"I am," Lancer said. "I'm deep cover special ops with Elita and the commando femmes. Same old, same old."
"Lancer is awesome," Partition said. "She's a scientist, too. I'm learning a lot from her."
Joon grinned. "Life is strange and wonderful isn't it."
Keystock, Lucien and Cargo sitting nearby might have other opinions but they kept them to themselves. Bezel and Lon were just happy to be with a group that was making its way forward. It had been lonely for a long time for both of them.
-0-Residence
Turbine handed his plate to Ratchet. "Hold this, infant. I have a message and have to take it." He rose, walked through the masses and stepped outside.
"That's me," Ratchet said as he balanced two plates. "A plate holder."
"Well, most folks tend to rise to the level of their own competence," Prowl said with a smirk.
"I should have left you drunk," Ratchet said as the door opened and Turbine walked back in. Taking his plate, he sat again. "All is well?" Ratchet asked because he's nosy.
"All is very well," Turbine said with a big smile.
The party wound onward as the children played and food was devoured. By the third or fourth drink, most were feeling no pain. Gifts were given out, small tokens like candy or booze. Everyone got something. Prowl had ordered crates of especially favored high grade and all of the hangers on would take one to their great delight. As they sat back admiring the token gift that they all shared together on Christmas orn, the children playing with their toys nearby, Turbine sat forward with a grin. "Off line your optics, Raptor."
Raptor who was joking with Ironhide and Hercy glanced at Turbine. "Why? What have you done, Old Mech?"
"OFF LINE! NOW!" Turbine gave him that no nonsense look that even Ironhide wouldn't buck.
Raptor grinned. "I love it when you throw your weight around."
"I'm going to throw it at you if you don't obey," Turbine said with a grin.
Raptor complied, then Turbine stood and opened his carry hold. Reaching inside, he pulled out a white and black object, then sat again, his hold sliding shut noiselessly. Holding the object, he set it on the ground. Everyone in the room looked at it, then Turbine, then it, then burst into applause. "Open your baby blues, baby," Turbine said.
Raptor on-lined his optics, then glanced at the floor. He stared at it, then stood, then sat again. He looked at it, then Turbine. "YOU SLAGGER, YOU! WHAT DID YOU DO!? TURBINE … THIS IS AWESOME!"
"I thought you'd like it," Turbine said. "The Animal Center opened just for this."
Standing on the floor was a tiny cow, a white Holstein with black spots and patches. He had big blue optics and a fat belly. He glowed with health and his little black hooves shown like glass. He looked up at Raptor, then walked closer as if to see him more clearly. He stared at Raptor as he assimilated his welcome message, the image of the one who needed and wanted him and the option to say no. He didn't. He walked toward Raptor, put his little hooves up on the couch and tried to climb up into his lap.
Raptor pulled him up, sitting the little cow on his lap. He smiled at the cow, then Turbine, then the cow. "WHAT A CUTE LITTLE THING YOU ARE!"
"You have to take care of him, Raptor. You have to take care of the mess," Turbine said as he sat back with a grin.
"Done deal, old mech," Raptor said. He grinned. "He needs stuff."
"In the box outside. He has a harness with a handle so if he needs carried you can grab and run. He has a bed to lie on, bowls for his food and drink, a bag of food, and other things. They said he's really easy to maintain," Turbine said.
"I can see that. He's coming to Cybertron with me. Something else that slagger can carry," Raptor said. "What's one more backpack of dead weight among friends?"
That got huge applause as the cow was passed around. The kids glommed him, patting and petting him.
"APPA! WHY THIS DOG!? I, ORION, THIS DOG!?"
"No. I, Raptor, this dog," Raptor said as he watched the little cow stoically be sniffed by cats and dogs. The bug was too afraid to do the same but he watched nearby from his perch on top of a snoring Dawg.
"That's cute," Sideswipe said. "Don't let Earth2 know. They'll take him for their farm."
Raptor laughed. "Fat chance," he said with a grin.
"Well, I always wanted a chicken," Ratchet said to be ornery.
"Oh, slag," Ironhide said to great laughter.
-0-A joor later
They began to go, heading off for home with presents, children and a lot of laughs. The apartment was bused to the nth degree and everyone left with something. Standing in the doorway holding his tiny cow which was snoozing in his embrace, Raptor went over the next few orns for his district and Turbine's with Prowl and Prime. Everyone was getting holiday rations on Cybertron, huge celebration cakes and other delicacies flown in from Mars in bulk. So far, so good.
When they stepped off to go, Ironhide grinned. "This is going to be fun. My appa used to rescue anything he'd find. He had a lot of animals at his house and that was number 1,222,497 why I liked going there."
"He's a hoot," Ratchet said as they stepped out of the door. They chatted a moment more, then headed for the elevator with holds and arms filled with drowsy or sleeping children.
-0-On a train toward home
They stood together, the cow in Raptor's arms and the box in Turbine's. Those around them stared at the animal, then the pair. Finally, someone asked. "What's that?"
"A cow," Raptor said with an enormous giant smile. "Only one of three in the colony."
"Oh," the person said. It would be quiet the rest of the ride.
-0-Later that night
"I'm glad you like it. It was a miracle they had this baby available. They got an order wrong and had one cow too many, not that it wouldn't be snapped up right away, mind you. That makes three altogether in the colony," Turbine said as they lay together in the darkness.
"It's slagging amazing. That's the greatest cow I ever saw. He's beautiful," Raptor said with a smile. "Do you like the name?"
"He's yours to name, Raptor. I do like Pudding, though."
"He has such a fat belly. It swings when you pat it," Raptor said with a chuckle. "It seemed sort of appropriate. "Pudding."
They both grinned. Turbine turned his helm to Raptor, his optics filled with love and happiness. "Good night, Raptor. Happy Merry Christmas Surprise."
"You, too, Turbine. This is the best present I ever got. Good night," Raptor said.
It was silent a moment, then Turbine glanced down to the berth space between them. "How you doing, Pudding? You alright."
A tiny cow who was laying on his side on the soft berth between the two behemoths glanced up at Turbine. Then he lay back down and vented a sigh. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Slag, yeah," Raptor said as both of them set their proximity sensors. It would be a nice night for all concerned.
-0-TBC 1-3-18 edited 1-7-18
Details on what it costs to own and maintain a Bugatti sports car:
They start at $1.7-$2,7 million dollars
Here's the scary part:
$30-$50,000 a year to insure them
oil change and STANDARD (not beyond normal) service: $21,000
tires: $40,000+ They recommend you change them often.
Bugatti Veyrons can actually go 450 miles per hour. If you owned one, you would be adding to its demise just driving it around normally given its high octane powerful motor. If they don't get run the way they were designed, they crack up.
Amazing ...