The Diego Diaries: After the Ho-Ho-Ho (dd6 241)
"Good of the order?"
"Who got coal besides Magnus?" Ratchet asked with a dazzling smile.
Huge laughter and a frown from Magnus.
"I got an upgraded remote toy," Springer said. "I intend to rule."
"Until someone blows you up," Hercy said with a grin. "How many changes does your bot have?"
Everyone looked at the triple-changer, the only one in the room who sat with a smug expression. "Six."
"Bull," Ironhide said as Raptor laughed loudly. "Tell us what they are."
"Maybe. Maybe not," he said as he grinned with deep almost purring satisfaction.
"Then you got nothing," Ironhide said with his own grin. "If you got it, show it."
"Oh, I got it," Springer said with amusement.
"He's got it," Drift said with a grin.
Huge laughter greeted that. Springer glanced slightly askance at Drift who shrugged. "You do," he repeated. Springer grinned, then fixed Ironhide with a smug expression. "I have root and automobile mode. I also fly."
"That's three, slagger. Even Halo can count that far," Ironhide said as everyone glanced at Prime and Halo. She was sleeping and Prime was grinning. "Three more."
"Alright," Springer said with amusement. "I have a tank mode, a fighter jet mode and a beast mode."
Everyone stared at him, then the room exploded. "THE FRAG YOU DO! YOU'D HAVE TO SHOW ME! BEAST!? WHAT THE FRAG!? LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!"
The last was Ratchet.
"I do," Springer said as he sat forward to rest his elbows on the table. "I expect to be the biggest baddest bad aft in the next game."
"I'll let Grimlock know," Ratchet said with a dazzling smile.
"No rush," Springer said to overwhelming laughter and derision.
"Who else wishes to tell the world of your pending greatness?" Prowl said with a gagging sound.
"What about you, Prowler? What sad embellishments do you have that will make us laugh even louder this time?" Alor said.
Ratchet turned to him and grinned. "Nicely done, Alie."
"I have you for inspiration," Alor said with a chuckle.
"Fraggers," Prowl said as he studiously avoided the amused faces of his genitors. "For your information, I have upgraded stingers, the two biggest guns this side of Omega's aft and more I'm not going to tell about. I'm going to show," he said with a wolfish smirk, the kind he had in his Machiavellian orns back before he bonded with the Matrix of Leadership. It was the kind that would make even Megatron's sphincter tighten up.
That one.
"I'll let Omega know something's missing from his aft. You know, Prowler, I don't remember seeing a gun there when I did his last tune up," Ratchet said as he leaned forward. Their nose assemblies were nearly touching.
"Because I have it," Prowl said, then sat back smugly to fold his arms over his shapely chassis. Prime's laughter took precedence for a moment, then the conversation continued.
"I was told that Grimlock and his brothers have beefed up to the point where their weapons might hurt spectators," Magnus said just to be ornery. He wasn't ENTIRELY clear but heard on the City Hall scuttlebutt grapevine that this was so. Take that, Ada. "I also heard that they saw Jurassic World and had a team of raptors made to help them. That doesn't count the rumor that they're a combiner now as well."
"Oh frag," Springer said glancing at a grinning Raptor. "Good thing we can outrun your sorry aft."
Raptor laughed loudly, then punched Springer's servo. He laughed louder as Springer rung his hand. "Very funny. I like this one, Ratchet."
"He's yours," Ratchet said with a chuckle. He glanced at Turbine and Delphi who he could see were conspiring to get Halo away from Prime. "What about you two?"
Turbine glanced at him and grinned. "We have so many guns if we hit soft sand we're done for. We have a transformational mode. We're transforming to jet boats."
"Those are water devices, Turbine," Beachcomber said with a grin.
"Ours are powerful enough to skim sand like water and we have them crammed with guns," Delphi said. "Root, tank and jet boat. Triple threat."
"Bravo," Raptor said with a grin. "What's your upgrade, Ratchet? Rolling pins and ping pong paddles?"
Huge laughter greeted that. Ratchet said back with a smirk. "I was going to tell you but-"
"TELL US, SLAG IT, RATCHET! I HATE WHEN YOU DO THAT!" Ironhide said as he turned toward Ratchet. At that moment, a tiny meep was heard. Everyone glanced at Prime who was glancing downward. A tiny femme had opened one optic, was peering up with a tiny frown, then it closed and she was off to sleepy land again.
"Loud mouth. You gave her her very first complex," Ratchet said with a grin.
"It won't be her last with you as an ada. Tell me about your slagging toy," Ratchet said.
"If I did, it would be the end of suspense," Ratchet said. He grinned at Alie, Turbine and Delphi, then sent them his 'special feature'.
Three mechs flinched but they could say nothing given that Ratchet had gotten their oaths as officers before he gave in to their off line begging. They glanced at each other, then sat back with a grin. Ironhide who watched turned toward Ratchet with a fearful expression. "What did you do, Old Mech?"
"I can't say. They can't either. They gave me their oaths," Ratchet said as the three nodded.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT!? IT ONLY ENCOURAGES HIM!" Ironhide asked three of the mechs whose mere glance could bring him to his knees.
"Because, infant, some of us have honor," Delphi said as the other two grinned.
"Slaggers," Ironhide said as he sat back. "It can't be good," he said as he grinned at Ratchet.
"I don't know, Ironhide … I think its slagging amazing," Ratchet replied as the others glanced his way and nodded.
Ratchet who had the oaths of his toy makers and his promise to make sure that they would be there when he did his thing grinned in anticipation. The playing field was roped off already and the layout was being set up and changed. They put sensors around it to signal when Wheeljack would stealth in with a reluctant Perceptor and because of it, he had only been intercepted three times so far. Ratchet grinned. NO one had his special option and because NO one did, he would rule this time. He, Ratchet the Healer, Ratchet the Medic, Ratchet the Grudge Holder From The Pit would determine the Fate of the Toys this time himself.
Huzzah.
"What about you femmes?" Ratchet asked. "What about the rest of you? Unless, of course, you keep secrets."
"Secrets? From you?" Elita asked. Ratchet smiled a dazzling smile to whistles and claps. "I want you to look at us, the Warrior Femmes of Cybertron who will through the magic of science form the combiner Super Harpy."
"Harpy? Isn't that a demonic feminine force of nature-" Perceptor asked, then he paused. "Ah. I see the link up."
HUGE laughter and a moment of research.
"I want to be with you," Ratchet said as even Prime nodded.
"Whose side are you on?" Optimus asked.
"Why, our own, of course," Elita said with a dazzling smile.
"What about you, Maelstrom?" Drift asked.
Everyone glanced at the big mech lounging in his chair with his arm around Chromia. "Whatever they want."
HUGE laughter.
"You sound like Jetta and Magnus. Neutered," Springer said before he was punched by both. "Ow. Fraggers," he said. He glanced at Wheeljack and Perceptor. "Now that you can't pre-mine the field, what are you two clowns going to be doing?"
Perceptor glanced at Wheeljack. "Did he just insult us?"
"Don't worry about it, Percy. I'll handle this," Wheeljack said with a smile. He looked at Springer. "Frag you, Springer."
Springer stared at him a moment, then shrugged. "Well, that took care of that."
HUGE laughter, negative commentary and kicks under the table took care of that.
"I'm not saying just yet," Wheeljack said as he spoke with a trace of dark magic in his voice.
"Stand next to me, 'Jack. You know you deserve it," Ratchet said.
Everyone made a mental note not to do that.
"How many newbies are there going to be in the game and how long after the first joor do you suppose they'll be still in the game?" Lancer asked. Partition was on duty. She was free to plan and scheme. Win-win.
"Well, the squad is coming," Delphi said with a big chuckle. "What about your mopers?" he asked.
Ratchet peered through the open door to see Lucien, Cargo and Keystock sitting together in the rec room waiting for things to happen. "The squad is and that means they have to. I think they should. It might do them good to get some aggression out."
"Make it so!" Raptor said loudly.
Turbine smirked. "Make it so yourself, lazy aft."
"I could do this all orn," Prime said as he listened with a grin.
"I could, too, but nothing would get done," Hard Drive said. "What about you, Optimus? What new terrors do you have in store? I do hope you step away from the Matrix and show your stuff."
Prime grinned. "I have a few new items."
"Yes. Yes, you do," Prowl said with a cold tone in his voice. He glanced at everyone, then his mech. "You will triumph."
"So sayeth the Prowl," Raptor said. He grinned.
Prowl grinned back. "Yes. It's good to be The Prowl."
"Even if you can't hold your booze?" Ratchet asked.
Prowl frowned at him. Prime grinned. Halo continued sawing logs.
The rounds were made and by the time everyone confessed to the immense number of modifications and other acts of toy vandalism they could manage, everyone knew everyone elses business but Ratchet's. It wound down and everyone began to return to the world beyond. Ratchet wandered out with Alor and Raptor, pausing by the table where the three 'mentorships' sat. Ratchet grinned. "You are dismissed to work, Lucien. Thanks for waiting. Nothing new to add to the case load."
He nodded and without a word rose and walked out of the room. They watched him go, then Raptor turned to Keystock and Cargo. "Get ready to leave, infants. We have a staff meeting in Iacon with Soundwave."
The two started at the name, then Keystock walked to the backpack slouched by the door. Hefting it up, noting that it was heavier today, he followed Hard Drive, Raptor and his brother onward for the trip through the bridge to the latest daily horrors of Cybertron. Everyone watched them go, then turned toward Ratchet. "How long do you think its going to take?" Chromia asked.
"How long do you think Keystock is going to live?" Ratchet asked.
Laughter filled the rec room as they filed out to begin another orn. Some would be on world, others off but all of them would be working hard for The People.
-0-On a street in town
They pulled up, then stared up. Stepping out, one of them pushed the button and the door next to the door, the one for humans all businesses that didn't have open doors had for convenience opened. They drove inside and it closed behind them. Driving inside, they rolled slowly toward the counter admiring the astonishing array of items on display inside. When they reached the counter, they pulled up and climbed out.
Overhead, a mech appeared, one who looked around the room. He couldn't see anyone so he turned to go back to the back again when Todd Baseman called to him. :HEY! DOWN HERE!:
Ravel of Iacon, an artisan's artisan peered downward to see half a dozen humans in suits with the logo of Earth2 on the lapels standing before his counter around a travel vehicle. He stared at them, then leaned closer. "Can I help you?" he asked uncertainly. He didn't know these humans. He was aware of the tension regarding Earth2 and he was unclear why they were here.
Todd Baseman glanced at the others, then Ravel. :That's what we came here to find out: he said.
-0-TBC 1-9-18 edited 1-25-18
NOTES: Note replies tomorrow. I'm still coughing too much. :(
It's an old cartoon thing and an expression that when one is sleeping heavily, they are 'sawing logs'.