Remus could barely breath under Harry's bear-hug grip. He laughed, and tried to hug the boy back but he was clinging so tightly to him it was hard for him to move. "Been that bad, huh?" Remus guessed as Harry finally let him go. He sat down at the table he's saved in the corner of the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmade on the first weekend students were allowed to go. "I heard about the bloody mouth incident a couple weeks back. I'm sorry I haven't been as available as I should be, Dumbledore-"
"Sirius told me." Harry nodded, cutting him off. "I know. It's fine. Listen- I need to know how to control the noise."
"You just have to practice. When I was little, we lived out in the country, and the only noise were the neighbor's sheep and the creeks babbling. Occasionally we'd have ravens get worked up out in mother's garden, and that was just..." He winced at the memory. "So school was a culture shock for me. Well- your dad and Sirius specifically. Gods they were LOUD. Not just loud, proud of their obnoxious tendencies. Most insufferable first years you ever saw."
"So I basically have to just... wait it out?" Harry groaned.
"You could try practicing." Remus suggested, and he sipped at his butterbeer. Harry groaned and Remus laughed out loud, almost spitting some of his drink out as he did. "I'm sorry. Again, I never intended for you to-"
"Stop it." Harry all but barked, and Remus' cheerful face fell. The boy before him looked absolutely stressed, maybe even angry. He swallowed and nodded.
"Right, yeah." He agreed. "So do you need anything?"
"The entire school wants you back to teaching." Harry shrugged. "Don't imagine that's possible?"
Remus gave a half smile and shook his head. "Afraid not."
"Figured so." Harry agreed. "Then no. Just thought I'd put it out there."
"Are you okay?" Remus ask, brow furrowed. "You seem... On edge?"
"Fine." Harry said sharply. "I'm fine. I can't sleep well, my head hurts. That's all." The young boy glanced over his shoulder at the clock over the bar. "I'm supposed to meet Hermione and Ron for lunch. I'll see you later." Harry said, standing up. Remus stood too, and Harry once again embraced him tightly.
"You know you can tell me anything that bothers you, son. Anything." Remus reminded him. Harry nodded against his father and grunted.
"Love you, dad" Harry said, pulling away and not meeting the older wizard's eye as he left. Remus returned the sentiment, and flopped back into his chair, watching the door where Harry had just left.
He nursed what remained of his drink and watched the area around him, trying to relax and let his mind convince something was more wrong with Harry than was true. He was both distant and clingy with Remus, which was very odd for him. It was almost like there was something he wanted to say or to ask that the boy just wouldn't give up. Remus was so lost in thought his gaze had zoned out, so he jumped in surprise when he was joined at the table by a uniformed auror.
"Watcher, Wolvie." Tonks grinned, propping her feet in the seat next to Remus beneath the table. Remus rolled his eyes, but as unable to control the smile that spread across his face and re-lit his eyes.
"Auror Tonks. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He greeted, and held a hand up to the bar to have another drink sent over for her. She smiled at him, and flipped her long purple curls over her shoulder.
"We do routine patrols through here all the time, but I saw Harry and he mentioned he'd seen you so..." She batter her eyelashes and sat forward, dropping both of her feet back to the floor, " I thought I'd come see you too."
"Oh? Well, you found me." He replied paying for her drink as the waitress brought it over. "How has work been?"
"Boring. The entire Ministry is in denial about, well, anything. So its actually kind of rare they let us investigate anything at all right now. We get calls, weird things. Old magical artifacts being stolen from homes, things like that. They won't let us do more than a report. Kingsley will follow up occasionally at pawn brokers and such. They're worried we'll look like we believe Harry about... You know..." She shrugged.
"Not exactly the excitement you signed on for, eh?" Remus mused. Tonks shook her head and huffed.
"No, that is what I have the Ord- Er, you lot, for." She laughed at the pointed look he gave her when she corrected herself. Remus snorted in amusement.
"So if the Ministry is worried about how it looks, maybe Aurors shouldn't be drinking with werewolves." Remus suggested.
"If they were really that concerned about looks to begin with, they'd make me keep my hair natural and the same all the time. So here we are." She retorted.
"Fair point. I'm glad to see you, honestly." Remus said, sipping again at his nearly empty cup, if only for appearance sake.
"You are?" Tonks sat up, and mentally kicked herself for how excited she knew sounded.
"Its too quite around Grimauld without you." He reasoned, nodding. "Mostly just Molly yelling at Sirius and Sirius yelling about his hair." Remus rolled his eyes. "Gets old."
"Well, he wants to maintain those looks, you know..." Tonks laughed. Of course, he kept them through Azkaban, so what he's so worried about I'm not sure..."
Remus visibly tensed when Tonks said this. The light-hearted mood of their conversation was gone in an instant. Tonks was almost moved to jump in reaction to how rigid Remus became at her simple words. After a moment, he blew a forceful breath and growled under his breath, "Yes, he's always been the ladies man..."
Tonks then understood. And she smiled to herself that her careful words and flirting were not entirely misplaced on the werewolf. "Oh, you think that's what I'm into?" She smirked in a way she knew her cousin would be proud of. "I'll have you know, Professor, I may be a member of the Black family, but I am not into the incest. Thanks, though. Cheers to that." She laughed and took a long pull from her drink, giving Remus time to process what she'd said.
"Oh, er- I just-" Remus stammered nervously, obviously embarrassed by his own behavior.
"Yeah, I know. You just thought I fancied Sirius. Which- ew. No. We're literally related." She rolled her eyes and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "He wouldn't be close to my type anyway. The only box he checks is 'older man'." She took another slow sip from her bottle.
"You... You have a check list?" Remus seemed almost amused as he ask, and he sat forward. Tonks found it to be sweet how he was trying not act incredibly curious.
"Every woman has a checklist, Remus. Don't be ridiculous." She teased. "Mine is much shorter than most of my friends, but they say that actually makes it harder to find someone. Apparently the list being longer gives them more room to not check as many boxes. I think its better to be a bit picky, honestly." She said with a shrug. She felt his eyes on her as she looked down at the table and tapped her fingertips.
"Well, lets hear it then." Remus urged, humor in his voice. "If yours is so short, won't take long to share."
"Oh, not at all. I like a man who is patient, kind, selfless..." She started.
"How Hufflepuff of you." He laughed.
"Are you going to interrupt after each box?" Tonks teased. Remus made a mock zipping motion over his lips and sat back, allowing her to continue.
"Where was I? Right. Well read. Quiet. Level-headed. I am who I am, and I honestly need the balance. A strong place to hide, ya know? To feel safe." She twisted her long violet strand of hair through her fingers. She loved the feeling of the heat in his eyes as he hung on her every word. She paused, took another sip at her butterbeer and smiled.
"At the very least seven years my senior. Men my age aren't men at all, they're stupid boys and they take ages to mature. I cannot stand it." She almost gave her enjoyment of his reactions away when Remus' face flushed bright red. "I also need someone brave. I can kill my own spiders but I need someone to run to after work who can make it all just melt away, who isn't afraid to deal with my innermost monsters." She smiled in an almost sad way, and met his eyes. "You know?"
"I really do." Remus answered honestly. He didn't know what monsters someone as sweet and beautiful as Tonks could have, but he also didn't want to pry and ask. She did, after all, have a very high stress job where one might see some truly terrible things.
"But, yeah, that's it." She shrugged, shaking her head to shake off the melancholy tone that had fallen in on them. "It's had to find anyone to take me seriously, though. When you look like I do, or can look however anyone likes... Well, lets just say sometimes people get close to me just to take that to their advantage."
Remus felt his blood boil at the thought. Some idiot asking Tonks to be anything other than herself- to even maybe be another woman; his stomach turned to knots. He swallowed the bile that rose in reaction and gritted his teeth. "Who did that to you?"
"All in the past, Wolvie." She replied with a wink, and glanced down at her watch. "Shite! I'm late- I'm so sorry. Can we finish this another time?" She looked so upset to have to leave. Remus nodded and waved her goodbye as she hurried for the door. He finished his drink and sat for a moment, letting her words- and her list, sink into his head.
"How was Professor Lupin?" Hermione ask, smiling brightly as she stirred her tea.
"Maddeningly unhelpful." Harry snorted. "Not that he didn't try. I just- I guess I wanted an instant fix, but there isn't one. I should've known better, but it is still so frustrating. I hear everything and it is all of the time and I can't make it stop. It gives me these just unearthly headaches."
"Have you talked to Madam Pomfrey?" Ron suggested. "I mean, she did take care of him as a student. And what? Like four other graduated werewolves since. I'd say she knows a thing or two."
"She told me the same thing as my dad. 'Just practice.' Like I said before, it is practical advice, but not the instant fix I'd love for it to be. It's just another thing here to ruin my year. But at least I don't have to wonder what people are saying about me like I did in second year and then again last year. I never miss a thing."
"Well... Way to find a silver lining, Harry." Hermione joked.
"It is a good way to know who your friends are, though. No need to try and guess who to trust..." Ron pointed out.
"At least I have you two." Harry admitted. "Thank you both. I wouldn't make it without you."
"You'll always have us, Harry." Hermione promised.
"For sure, mate." Ron added, nodding.
Harry started to take a bite of his sandwich when a sharp pain shot through his skull. It was like fire from the scar, down into his eye and back all the way to the base of his neck. He dropped his food, which splattered back onto his plate; he held both hands over his eye and scar and curled into a tight ball. Hermione rushed around to his side and helped ease him out of the chair and onto the floor. She looked up at Ron, who was sitting stone still and pale.
"Go find Professor Lupin." She said, holding Harry's hands where he had them clasped over his head protectively. "NOW, Ron!" She commanded, and he nodded and ran off, back toward the village.
'My Lord, are you sure you wish to-' Harry heard a voice in the darkness behind his closed eyes. 'Silence. Do not dare to question my command. You will try again tonight. We need what that old fool has...' Another, hiss-like voice shouted at the others. Harry screamed and broke whatever was happening is his head, returning only to the sound of mummers of the gathering crowd and Hermione trying to comfort and reassure him.
More and more students and villagers alike gathered in, unsure of what was happening or how to help. It was only a few moments before Ron came back through the crowd with Remus, who gave no mind to the people he had to shove through to get to his distressed child. In a flash Hermione's hands were replaced with Remus', who gave Harry a small whisper of comfort before scooping him up from the ground and disapperating from the crowd, the young wizard held close to his chest.
When they landed, Harry pushed away and vomited right on the ground from the shock of disapperation without a warning. He continued to wretch and Remus rubbed small circles on his back, and when he was done Remus vanished the mess. "Could've used the warning." Harry mumbled as he took the hand his father held out to help him up.
"I had to get you out of the crowd. It could have been bad for them if I hadn't..." Remus explained.
"Where are we?" Harry ask, looking around. This was a new neighborhood to him, a small village not unlike Hogsmade with cobbled streets and stone buildings. There were sheep bleating in the distance. He could smell fresh bread and early autumn herbs being dried on the wind. They were standing before a gate, which opened to a path that winded uphill to a house he could see in the distance. "Is this-"
"Yeah. I grew up here. That's my house- Well, when I get to be there. But I keep it up, because it was my mother's mother's, and it meant a lot to her." Remus explained opening the gate. He ushered Harry through and Harry felt a small tingle of magic, like walking through a spider's web, move across him as he entered.
"Is this a wizarding community?" Harry asked, looking over his shoulder.
"Not really. There are a few others- but that slab of pavement we landed on is warded as a landing site. Perfectly safe." Remus said as they climbed. He stopped after a moment when he realized Harry was no longer right with him, and he turned to see the young boy standing smelling into the breeze with his eyes shut. He looked at peace. Remus smiled.
"I like this place." Harry remarked. "Why didn't we come here over the summer?"
"We were a bit busy, don't you think?" Remus reminded him. Harry opened his eyes and nodded, and jogged to catch up before continuing on the path.
"Am I going to get in trouble for not being at school?" Harry pondered as they walked.
"I'm sure Dumbledore will understand." Remus replied. "If not, truancy is a parental issue, so if anything it'll be me who gets in trouble." He said with a small chuckle. "Come on, I'll show you where I'm from."
The house reminded Harry somewhat of the Burrow the Weasley family owned. It, too, was a rock and whitewashed wooden house. There were a few herbs handing in the kitchen window among lace curtains. There were a few pictures on the walls, a wedding picture he assumed was his grandparents, a baby he guessed was his father. Then a couple pictures of the three of of them, and two of Remus in his school uniform. Judging by the age difference, Harry guessed it was first and seventh years. On another wall were others, and Harry moved over to look more closely at these while Remus was in the kitchen making tea.
On this wall were pictures that made his heart leap to his throat. There was a picture of four boys, the Marauders- All with their arms around each other, grinning. They waved from the frame and Harry smiled sadly. There was a framed strip of pictures from a photo booth of Remus and Lily making various humorous faces, and the last panel of her kissing his cheek and him grinning brightly. They looked about his age in these pictures. There were others, some with his dad, or dads he mused, goofing off, having fun. And the last one- the one that hurt the most to look at- there was a lot of raw emotion in that photo.
"I thought that would be the hardest day I ever endured." Remus said behind him. Harry turned and took the cup of what smelled to be chamomile tea that was offered to him. Harry looked back at the picture closely. Remus was smiling on the other side of Sirius, who was beside James and Lily. There was no gleam in his eyes like could be seen in the others.
"I'm sure." Harry nodded.
"There is a weird pain to 'if you love them, let them go' that so many people don't understand." Remus sighed.
"And you did it twice." Harry said nodding again and sipped at his tea.
"When do you want to go back?" Remus ask. Harry jumped and turned back.
"If I say 'I don't' is that still an offer?" Harry ask. Remus nodded.
"If you mean it. You'll be educated either way, but yes." He sighed and guided Harry to sit down. "Tell me what happened?"
"I'm not sure, there was just so much pain. Blinding, stabbing pain." Harry winced as he remembered how it had taken hold of him.
"And?" Remus ushered.
"How do you know there is more?" Harry ask. Remus raised and eyebrow at him and smiled, and Harry snorted- Then they both burst into a fit of laughter.
"No, really..." Remus said, calming down and his face going serious.
"I don't want to admit to it. Because... Because I hear things when my head hurts like that. And the last time that happened Voldemort ended up-" Harry paused and thought. "Its always Voldemort. I've had nightmares too."
"Do you wake up hurting?" Remus ask, concerned and sitting forward. "When you have the nightmares, I mean."
"Sometimes." Harry nodded. Remus hummed in thought.
"I have an idea- But I'll worry about that. For now, you try to relax, drink your tea. I'll make us dinner and then take you back to the castle and have a talk with Dumbledore."
"Thanks, dad." Harry said, and he sank back into the cushions of the couch and closed his eyes. He was glad to have this break from his classmates, even if it came with the public attack.
Sorry it has been so long- there is a pandemic and I'm "essential" lol.
Hope you enjoyed, please review!