36. Letting Go: Ladies and Gents this is the Moment you've waited for

"I suppose this trip isn't to inform me that you've changed your mind?" Nora blinked her tears away and shook her head gently. Shaun sighed and dismissed the doctor checking his vitals. The poor scientist looked between Shaun and Nora with skepticism, but bowed her head and scurried out of Shaun's quarters without a word. "Then why have you come?" Nora tried to recall the speech she had planned, but it was as though there were a physical wall blocking her from her thoughts. It didn't matter, Shaun spoke up, "After all we've been through…" Shaun gripped the edge of the reclined bed he'd been stuck in. "Me releasing you—you actually making it here! The...synths...the threats...the kidnapping...I thought you hated me." He closed his eyes and turned his head from her in shame.

"Shaun, no," Nora quickly stepped to Shaun's side and sat on the bed. She cupped his face in her hands to force him to look at her. "Life unfairly tore you from me...I can't blame you for growing up the way you did, for believing what you do. I don't approve nor agree with it, but I—" Nora stared into his eyes, Nate's eyes… "I love you, son."

Shaun seemed taken aback by her words, for his watery eyes widened and he choked out a sob, "Mother, I—" he coughed and Nora could feel the ache in his bones. She shushed him gently, helping him sit up as he continued to violently cough into his hand. She rubbed his back in small circles between his shoulder blades and down his spine. "I—"

"Shh," she pulled away and pressed her forehead to his, cupping his face once more, "I know, baby. I know."

Shaun shakily reached up and held her hands, "If it must end this way...I am glad I got to meet you."

Nora bit her lip to keep from crying out in protest. "Me too." Was all she could choke out. It wasn't fair. All the advances The Institute had made and yet they couldn't even cure Shaun's cancer?!

Shaun coughed weakly a few more times before pulling back to lay down, his hands still holding Nora's. Strange. She was his mother, and yet she was holding his wrinkled, aged hands in her soft, young hands. "I know what you must do, Mother." Nora looked at Shaun with teary eyes, "And I accept it." Nora smiled sadly as a few tears finally escaped. She ran her hand through Shaun's hair comfortingly. He closed his eyes and sighed contently. He squeezed her hands and opened his eyes, "Go. Before you lose the will to do what you must." Nora's face screwed up as she tried to hold back more tears, "Go!" He kissed her hands before succumbing to a coughing fit. Nora panicked at the alarms of the machines monitoring his vitals going off. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead one last time.

"Shaun, I love you."

"I love you too, mother."

Nora hit the transporter on her Pip Boy and disappeared before the doctors could rush into Shaun's room. She landed on a rooftop far from the C.I.T. Ruins and immediately collapsed to her knees. She sobbed loudly, not caring if anyone heard her. She knew she looked a mess. Crazed hair, red face, tear stains, snot dripping from her nose. She was an ugly crier. She wailed and choked on her tears as she fumbled with her coat pockets. She pulled out a device Sturges and Tinker Tom had been working on together for some time. A small, innocent looking device with a blinking red button. So simple; a drop at the wrong angle would trigger it, a slip in ones pocket would trigger it, or a deliberate finger press—

Nora screwed her eyes shut and held her breath as she jabbed her thumb over the button. An explosion went off, sending her back 212 years.

Nora could feel it all wash over her. The heat. The force. The radiation...The fear. It's the end of the world—all over again. She'd lost Shaun—all over again. With her eyes still closed, she could see her life before all of this. Before the bombs. Everything changed in an instant, and the future she had planned for herself shifted. This wasn't the world she wanted; but it was the one she found herself in. The Commonwealth. Her home. Ripped apart and put back together. She thought...she hoped she could have found her family...cheated time...make them all whole again...the way they were. But now, she knew. She knew she couldn't go back. The world had changed. The road ahead would be hard, but this time? This time, she was ready. Because she knew war...war never changes.

Nora surveyed the Commonwealth with tired eyes. "It's been a while, sweetie. How are you doing?" She didn't jump or react to the sound of her husband's voice in her head. Grass rustled beside her, and she could feel the warmth of another body, but she didn't look over at him. "I know this isn't what we had in mind when we agreed to go into the Vault, but," a hand laid on her shoulder and squeezed lightly, "I am so proud of you—"

"I killed our son." Nora croaked out. Her throat raw from screaming and crying her way back to the hill the vault entrance laid in. "I could have joined him, but instead…" Nora couldn't say it again. Her bottom lip quivered despite her biting down on it in an attempt to silence her cries.

"But you found him. You've fought monstrosities of radiation, robots—"

"Synths." Nora corrected quietly, still surveying the horizon.

"Zombies!—"

"Ghouls." There was still smoke coming from the crater she'd made.

"Crazy nut jobs with guns! You learned how to hack computers and robots, how to pickpocket, how to pick a lock—Nora, you survived!"

Nora squeezed her eyes shut, feeling her tears fall down her cheeks, to the corners of her mouth and down her chin. "But I wanted you with me. I needed you with me."

Nate laughed his soft, musical laugh. And Nora felt an embrace she thought she'd never feel again. "Oh, sweetie. You know if I could have been, I would have been." She could feel his patchy facial hair scratch the top of her head as he nuzzled her. The same way he used to when she would complain and say he needed a shave. "But you have thrived. Look around," Nora didn't open her eyes, but she didn't need to. She knew the horizon of the Commonwealth better than anyone else. "You have people who rely on you."

"Preston and the Minutemen."

"People who care about you."

"Nick, Piper, X6, Curie, Deacon…"

"People who love you."

"John."

Nate's voice was quiet for a long time, and Nora was about to scold herself for being so childish. "I'm so sorry you had to go through this on your own, sweetie," His voice echoed around her. The presence of his arms around her seemed to fade away, and a figure blocked out the sun. Soft, warm, uncalloused hands cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears away. "I love you."

Nora's eyes snapped open and for a moment Nate was before her. His skin unmarked from the bullet wound, the same carmel color he was when she met him, his hair as black as pitch, eyes as dark as the coffee she loved—he stood before her and smiled.

"Nate," she couldn't help but cry out as she reached forward and gingerly touched his face. She hit solid flesh and Nate leaned to her touch.

"I love you so much." Nate repeated.

Nora choked out a sob, "I love you too," she cried, as her hands went to explore his seemingly flesh and bone body, he vanished. And Nora was left with an arm outstretched towards the sunrise.

For a moment, all was still, and all was silent.

"What was that?" Nora snapped around and saw Hancock standing a few yards away. He walked over, his eyes not leaving where Nate was once standing. "Was that—" he now stood behind Nora, "who were you...am I…" Hancock shook his head before leaning to one side and beating the side of his head with his palm, as though he was beating water out of his ear, "I must've taken a bad chem or something. I'm seeing ghosts!" Nora snorted out a laugh. Hancock paused his antics and grinned. "There's that smile," he kneeled down and pinched Nora's cheeks with his withered fingers. Nora flapped her hands in his face to make him back off, but Hancock only took that as a challenge. Once she finished giggling and lowered her arms, he dove across the space separating them and tackled her onto the grass. Nora shrieked in surprise as Hancock tickled her and peppered her exposed neck and her face with light kisses. Their game ended with Hancock pinning Nora's hands on either side of her head. "Hey, Sunshine?"

"Hmm?" Nora hummed in response, the momentary distraction quickly wearing off.

"I'm proud of you."