The Diego Diaries: Par-Tay (dd6 306)
-0-That night
"Then we'll have the food and treats. The Catering Place is going to have food for the bot kids sent just before everyone arrives. There's a caveat about it. No one touches it without gloves. Energon is in an inert state this way but its still a foreign and alien substance. If it gets in a cut it can make you sick," Judy Witwicky said.
Mindy Thomas, Sandy's mom was sitting with the rest of the women as they planned the course of the first Human-Cybertronian party held by children outside of school on world. In a way it was historical, this event. Her daughter had bloomed here, blossoming from a shy self conscious girl to one who would happily do things she never dreamed of on Earth. The kids were nearly her height or taller in her class so here she was just another 'femme'.
When she sent her daughter to school Mindy and Marco Thomas did so with a good feeling. Mindy was a computer tech for the N.E.S.T. Habitat working hand in hand with their communications civilian, Thomas Howell, Glenn Morshower's son-in-law. Marco was an Alpha Striker and all around good guy.
"This is going to be interesting," Mindy said. "Who's going to serve the energon food?" she asked with a big dimpled grin.
Everyone turned in their seat to glance at Lois Morshower-Howell. "Shit," she said with a chuckle. "Okay. Be that way. I'll do it."
"Of course you will," Barbara Morshower said. "I'll be too busy taking pictures."
They continued onward.
-0-Later that night
"ADA! I, ORION, STAY WIF LOU?!"A tiny image of his big old pa stared upward with hopeful optics on his cute little face. "You doing with I, Orion? We going here," he said as he pushed Ratchet's ped backward. "Sit dere," he said pointing at the chair.
Ratchet with a sleepy Praxus in arms sat down with a grin. "Okay. I'm sitting. What now?"
Orion thought a moment. "Lou sit. My, Orion, doing." He walked to the table and tugged a chair toward the counter. It took a while but it was there eventually. Pulling Hero's little footstool over, he climbed on it, then the chair. Stretching as far as he could, he barely gripped the overhead cupboard next to the sink. Straining with grunting sounds, he gripped it, then pulled. It slammed back. Again and again, he worked furiously until it came open. Pushing it back with a frown, Orion stared at it with a ticked off expression, then glanced at Ratchet.
He froze at the surprise on Ratchet's face, then screwed up his courage because now Ironhide was sitting in HIS chair with Halo in his arms as he watched the ballsy baby. Gripping his fingers together insecurely for a moment, Orion decided to brazen it through. "Lou sit. My, Orion doing." He turned to the cupboard, then gripped the faucet of the sink.
Barely.
He then began to tug himself upward, grunting with effort as he failed again and again. Pausing a moment to figure it out, he tried again and made it after the fifth time.
Truly, the struggle was real.
Ratchet and Ironhide watched him with mesmerized incredulity and admiration for his tiny aft which was doing yeoman's work here.
When he finally made it, Orion crawled forward, then carefully stood up, bending around the cupboard door to look inside on wobbly legs. He looked at the two who were mute with wonderment, then shot them a big cheese-eating smile before turning to the cupboard.
Sitting on the second shelf up were cans of candy. This was where Ratchet kept Ironhide's fudge. Staring at it with the optics of a desperado, Orion calculated how he could get them down. Reaching up, he gripped the can as best he could, then pulled it back. The can slid out and fell.
Onto the floor.
With a loud clang and thump.
Loudly.
Looking up, then around, then down, Orion stared at the can on the floor. He frowned as he stood with his tiny servos on his tiny hips. Then he turned around, stretched as far as he could and pulled down another. It hit his helm before falling on the floor. Rubbing his helm, he glanced around. "Owie," he said in a tiny voice to himself. He was so focused on the crime in motion, he forgot about Ratchet and Ironhide.
Orion stared at the floor, then the shelf, then the floor. "Well," he whispered to himself. "I going now." He was talking to himself as he worked out the lay of the land, then knelt. He tried to back out to the chair, then lost his nerve.
Sitting on the edge of the counter, he stared at the chair just below him. Before either Ratchet or Ironhide could move, he slid off and landed on it. Gripping the chair, he stood up, then noticed both staring at him with concern. He shot them another giant insincere smile before climbing down onto the stool, then the floor.
He looked at the chair and stool, then began to put them back like he did this every day and this was his one job in life. The whole time he did he talked in a very soft voice to himself: "I doing this … I doing this and that there … there. Doing it, I, Orion."
When that was accomplished, he looked at the cans, then picked one up. Walking toward his old man and his other old man, he paused before them like a fisherman just off the boat after a month at sea. He carried the can like a longshoreman carries his lunch box after work. "I doing that dere, Ada. I, Orion do for you and Atar."
With that, he put the can down, pried off the lid and reached inside. He pulled out a piece of fudge for Ratchet and handed it to him. He did so for Ironhide, then put the lid back on. He hefted it up, then nodded to both very workmanlike in his manner. "I, Orion doing dis. I goin' dere," he said pointing to the hallway. "I goin' dere. Not you, this," he said patting the can he held. "I doin' it. I, Orion doin' it for dis. I go dere. You not go, I, Orion. You doing here. Sit. I go dere."
With a confident nod to the pair and the sleeping babies, he walked to the hallway and disappeared into his room.
Ratchet and Ironhide glanced at each other with amazement, then toward the hallway.
Orion was walking back again like a banker going to a foreclosure. His arms swung and he chatted softly to himself as he walked to the other can. Hefting it up, too, he glanced at them. "You doin'. I go dere. This, I, Orion doin'. Go you there. Not you, me. I doin'," he said as he walked to the corridor to disappear again.
Ratchet and Ironhide stared at the hallway then each other.
"That didn't come from my side," Ironhide said.
"Of course it did," Ratchet replied. "I may strike a coin for him. Better get the candy, Ironhide. I'm going to sit here and pray to Primus."
Ironhide laughed, then walked toward the hallway after putting Halo gently into her bouncing chair. She stretched, then fell back asleep.
Ratchet sat back for the show.
It was silent a moment, then a loud conversation was had, it ended, then it was silent a moment.
Ironhide walked out with two cans of candy in his servos. He tossed one to Ratchet and then took a snoozing Praxus. "Hold my place," he said as he walked back to put Praxus in bed. As he did a little mech slipped out of his room and sort of stealthed to the back of the chairs. He stood quietly though one could seen tiny peds if you looked down.
Ratchet who was laughing intensely inside his skull relaxed with a can. He opened it and popped a piece. "Better hurry, Ironhide. I'm going to eat all of it. Both cans."
A gasp behind the chair greeted that, then it was deeply silent.
Ironhide walked back, noted his oldest smallest son, then sat down to open a can. "I don't know about you but this is the best part of the orn. Sitting here eating an entire can of candy … how can it get better?"
The sound of a little mech melting down behind them was heard with gurgling sounds, then was stifled.
Ironhide grinned. "I have to hand it to Orion. He didn't fall on his face."
"That probably deserves a treat next time. Can't have little mech fall on his face," Ratchet said with a grin. "Um-um. This is so good. I'm eating the whole thing."
A little mech finally ran out to stand before them, his face a case study in aggravated concern as he gripped his servos.
"Why, Ironhide … you're losing your touch. I thought you put little mech to sleepy-bed." Ratchet grinned, then popped candy in his mouth.
"Ada … you not doing? You not doing dat?" he asked as he pointed to the can. Orion looked at both of them with deep baby angst.
"Thought I would. Why are you up?" Ironhide asked.
"I, Orion helpeded lou. I doin' dis," he said pointing to the can.
"Tell you what," Ratchet said with a grin. "I'll give you one and then sleepy-bed time."
Orion smiled like the sun, then took one. When he was finished with that, he got another for points on his ordeal. Then he was back in sleepy-bed. When he was, Ratchet and Ironhide found another place to put the candy that he, short of flying Sunspot into the closet would never be able to reach.
Ratchet grinned as he lay back.
Ironhide finished tucking Halo in, then joined Ratchet. Calling lights out, he grinned. too. "Never dull around here."
"Nope." Ratchet grinned. "Good night, Ironhide."
"Good night, Ratchet."
-0-In the dark
He lay on his big boy berth, then sat up. Somewhere in this house was grub for a hungry mech. He slid out, then tiptoed down the hallway. He looked at the phone device nearby, the handset that hadn't been placed back in its cradle. Often, he had watched his fathers order food in using it rather than the monitor.
How hard could it be?
He stealthed over, picked it up and watched the lights come on. Remembering a pattern, he pushed it in.
A voice sounded. "If you want dinner, press 1. If you want lunch for tomorrow, press 2. If you want breakfast, press 3. If you want to select individual items, press 4..."
He pressed 4.
"When we say the items and you want them press 1. If not, wait for the next items named. Our menu changes daily. You can order things delivered on a schedule on our web page. Check the Community Bulletin Board in the Directory for restaurants and food delivery. Pizza, press one …"
Orion stared at the device, then began to press buttons. He punched and punched, then hung up.
Walking to the door, he stood and stared at it. Somehow when you did that food appeared at your door. After a moment, Orion froze. Someone was up and heading his way. Running swiftly, he ran to his room and climbed up on his berth. As he did, Spot who was watching hurried in and climbed onto the berth. Licking Orion's face, he walked in the circle that all canines do before he settled. Half laying on Orion and half not, he sighed and began to sleep.
Orion stared at him and struggled but Spot was not going to move again until morning. Outside in the kitchen Genesis got a drink of juice, then put his glass in the sink. He walked to his room and the lights went out behind him.
The Haus of R v IH was in for the night.
-0-The next morning
It was the usual hoo-haw to get ready to go. Kids were fed, things gathered, instructions for the party for Sunspot given, then everyone lined up. "Ready to go?" Ironhide asked as he tucked Halo into his hold.
The three dread kids would go on their bus to Iacon and their school.
Hero would cab.
'Little Bus' as it was called from the Circle Academies and their aides would take Scout and Prowler, Sojourner, Solus and several other kids to their schools.
Sunspot would ride the bus with Co-D, Reflector and Bos when it came their way.
Orion, Miracle and Praxus would ride their bus to Terra.
The only one left would be Halo.
"I think we're ready to go," Ratchet said as he opened the door.
No one moved to leave.
Ratchet peered out, then turned to Ironhide. "You aren't secretly hoarding are you?"
Ironhide peered out the door as well. "What the frag?"
Moments later after stuffing the buses with kids …
They carted the last box in, then stared at seven boxes filled to the brim with the oddest collection of congealed pizzas, uncooked ramen, ham sandwiches, several kinds of beer, soft drinks, pudding, vegetables, a huge chocolate cake, candy of all kinds and tubs of cooked spinach.
It would remain a mystery until dinner time when they would eat what was edible along with the usual food and Orion would tell then them how he used the phone the night before to get candy like the hapless little confessor that he was.
The phones would join Ironhide's fudge on the top shelf of the closet in their berth room and Orion would end up on the Chair of Doom.
With fudge.
-0-TBC 3-22-18 edited 3-24-18 edited again 3-31-18 01-18-2022