The Diego Diaries: Game (dd6 324)
-0-Stuff
There was a huge shoot out around Yellow Fort as hot helms began to make their point when everyone was distracted from the spectacle of Prowl and Ratchet digging on a mound of who knew what trying to liberate Prime.
Roddy was on his own.
Smokey would be enjoying that more than he was at the moment because at the same time he was caught in the cross fire of three forts shooting it out together. Having just been repaired, he was back and ready to rumble. Red Fort, former home of Optimus Prime currently relocated to the dungeons of Hell(ishness) was shooting it out with Blue Fort or Whining Central after The Fall/Stumble of the Titan(ettes). Scrambling to run back to their fort, Ironhide's elders, Ironhide, Alor and 'Jack who were only sulking a smidge as Fireball hoofed it with them. Their fort was open and no one was home. Edict, Riff and Rad-R were heading that way as well after watching the combiner they were so proud of bite it at the bridge.
Yellow Fort had the inside track at the moment due to sheer numbers and leadership. The Insane Twins were in charge and they were rollering around shooting willy nilly at anything that moved. Blue was sitting on the top of his fort sniping. Dev was standing nearby watching Smokey shoot randomly as he hopped all around with his usual enthusiastic sense of invincibility. Smokescreen was next to him and if their bots could smirk, they would have. Sandstorm was grappling with Raptor AND Blackjack while Neo and Laret stood to one side fretting.
Their bots actually looked like they were fretting.
Meanwhile, back at the Pits of Doom …
"I don't think we're going to dig him out, Prowler," Ratchet said as he watched the two tiny bots digging. "Where did the Dinobots go?"
Everyone heard him and froze. A quick look around the area brought them into view. They were hiding by the crags waiting to go to either Mini-Con City led by Leader-1 or toward Orange Fort with its moat. It was then that the tiny bot of Auntie Lissie could be seen hoofing it toward Orange Fort. She was carrying HUGE guns and a determined expression on her tiny bot face. Glancing at Hercy and Kup, she grinned. "I invite you to the cotillion."
Hercy grinned. "I accept." He looked at the others. "What about it, boys? Do we help the lady or what?"
"Count me in," Kup said as his tiny bot began to run.
"WE'RE COMING, LISSIE!" Ramcharger said as he, his atar, Alejate, his ada, Elba along with three other old coots began to run after them. "REMEMBER THE IMMORTALS! REMEMBER CYBERTRON!"
The crowd watching did. Wildly.
Lon glanced at Bezel who grinned. "Charge?"
"Charge," Bezel said as the two began to follow.
They ran swiftly for the antique mechanisms and reached the fort, forded the little moat and ran through the door. They boarded it up and clambered to the walls where they took up residence in the big big gun turrets that were there. They turned almost as one toward the Dinobots who looked at them with loathing.
"What now, Grimlock?" Swoop said as he leaned against Kappa's ped with his console.
:We go to the mini-con village but make it look like we're going to Orange Fort. Go between the crags and there, then run as fast as you can to the village. Destroy it: Grimlock said.
The others nodded, then ran like the wind from their hiding place waving their weapons and blowing fire. They ran past the fort and crags, then pivoted swiftly toward the village which was walled and had big guns. A lot of screaming commenced.
"GET TO THE GUNS! FIRE AT WILL!" Lea said as his little bot waved his tiny sword.
The Dinobots came fast, raining down like thunder as they reached the wall, then jumped. Flying over most of the guns and all of the walls, they landed inside the heavily populated area. Medieval style streets filled with three and four story housing loomed up and hindered the battle. Ten little bots, the mini-twins and Leader-1 fought like tigers. Most of them were left burning either inside their little houses, outside running for their lives or from sheer bad luck. The mini-twins and Lea ran down a street that split three ways. They disappeared.
Grimlock, Slag and Snarl who were following each took a street. There was bursts of fire going upward, pieces parts flying, then tense silence. That was when four of the five Dinobots exhaled as one and the entire place went up in flames. Hopping over the fence, they gave chase to three mini-cons who had abandoned ship and were hoofing it toward anywhere. JimJam, FlimFlam and a big little 'Con named Mopey were heading for anywhere with a door knob.
Metroplex would do just fine.
The crowd was laughing loudly as the first village went up in flames. It burned madly even in this, an almost no atmosphere atmosphere. The construction of things was different here the humans would find out through ventures like this. They would covet all of it MIGHTILY, the 1% slaggers.
Beating feet, the survivors of the Lost City of Mini-Con City passed Swirly Hole Lake even though Swoop was strafing their sorry afts with fire. Flying overhead low and swift, Mudflaps only a little bit worse for the wear gripped Swoop's ped and hung on for dear life. Away he went shooting wildly and yelling loudly.
"MY BROTHER!" Skids bellowed as he limped away from the growing black cloud of humiliation and destruction once called Home.
By someone.
Surely.
"KEEP RUNNING! THAT'S AN ORDER!" Leader-1 commanded as he hobbled toward Metroplex. They saw the city emerging as they sort of wobbled after FlimFlam, Jim Jam and Mopey. Fortunately for them, they wouldn't have to cross the river but would run into the city toward wherever there was a knob with a combination lock. It would be over the elegant confines of Metroplex City that the Delbert named Mudflaps would let go and bounce down the steps of the Administration Plaza before rolling like a ball into the open doors of Club Cybertron.
The Dinobots slowed as the four survivors they were chasing disappeared into the city. Everyone who had stopped long enough to watch turned back to the fighting. Then the Dinobots headed toward them skirting the river by heading into Metroplex. They ran down the main street, took a right at Club Cybertron, then ran forward heading toward either Camp Awesome, Yellow Fort, their mesa, or a dip in the oil pit. No one could tell and once again, they all paused to watch with dread the horde of maniacal fraggers run their direction.
"FORT UP! HERE THEY COME!" Sideswipe said as he climbed off Ironhide to run for his own.
"FRAGGER! COME BACK HERE AND LET ME *PUMMEL* YOU!" Ironhide bellowed.
"He was pummeling you, infant," Raptor said as his bot let go of Sandstorm so he could run for Blue Fort nearby. "YOU WERE THE SLAGGER ON THE GROUND!"
"I ALMOST HAD HIM! COWARD! YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!" Ironhide bellowed as he began to hoof it to Blue Fort.
"POOR WIDDOW BABY!" Sideswipe said with a laugh as their team began to stuff their fort.
"I give that mech the best few decaorns of his life and that's the thanks I get," Ironhide said with a grin as he stood between his grandparents whose little botlets were booking it as well.
"You didn't born them, infant," Turbine said with a grin as he transformed into a tank with Delphi to make entering the premises painful. For someone. Everyone was inside including Neo and Laret who manned guns immediately.
The two plucky femmes were both adorable.
Even tiny.
Especially tiny.
Edict, Riff and Rad-R made it was well and earned the applause of Hobbes who was really, really getting into it with Proteus. Madura who had a bot with Proteus were observing the Auntie Lissie rule. Truth be told, they were both scared to their superstructures.
It cleared up really quickly, the grand melee as everyone ran to fort up. Red Fort was falling apart in the rear and thus, Wheeljack, Perceptor, Willa, Artur, Hauser, Coln-2, Faun, and Holi gathered in the wreckage to peer out. "Who's in charge?" Holi asked as she watched Ratchet and Prowl's tiny bots dig their way to China. "Prowl is indisposed."
HUGE laughter.
Dev who was watching saw his chance to become the big Kahuna so he motored in, transformed and walked to the doorway, too.
His little bot, that is.
"Never fear. Devcon is here."
Everyone turned to look at Smokey who was the punster and who blanched. Then they laughed. His relief was evident on his handsome face. Devcon who was laughing, nodded. "Fort up! They might come to finish us off. I'm sending you battle plans." He did.
Prowl who's little mech was digging like a boring machine glanced at Devcon. "You're temporarily in command."
"You're standing on a landmine," Dev replied with a grin.
They stared at each other, then Prowl looked at the fort his mech was digging into. Before he could make the little mech run, a pair of huge black arms, shining and long reached over the top and began to grab at Ratchet and Prowl. Ratchet's botlet flipped off while Prowl's was grabbed and disappeared inside. The lid shut and everyone gasped. It was almost revolting how terrible the moment was.
"WHAT THE BLAZING HELL!" Prowl bellowed as he turned toward Vinn.
Vinn grinned, then shrugged helplessly.
Prowl turned toward the Dinobots, then a look of outrage coupled with vengeance like a bonfire crossed his face. "Open that slagger and let them out. Unless you want to clean latrines for the rest of your slagging life ..."
Grimlock stared at Prowl, then grinned ever so slightly. "Alright, Prowl … since you asked." He began to work his console.
Everyone glanced down field to watch with a growing sense of dread, danger and loathing as the lid slowly, ever so slowly rose up. When it did, two dark forms leaped out and landed in the open space over the river that separated Red, Blue and Yellow Fort a great distance away. It was then that the humans and then the bots because the humans were … started to scream and run in circles.
-0-A few moments later
"WHAT THE FRAG! SHOOT IT!" Prowl said as the two giant hairy scary and metallic tarantulas stood beside the mesa waiting to be deployed. "FRAG INSECTICONS!"
Grimlock grinned, then deployed one toward Yellow Fort. As it crept slowly like all arachnids do when they do anything, the sneaky bastards, all of which grosses out all humans everywhere except for those who LIKE them and who are probably severely mentally ill because they do … like that … everyone, even the bots stared at them with the instinctive loathing that humans and now, bots, have for spiders. The sound of a gun went off and the spider flew into several hundred shiny metallic bits. Everyone stared at the bug's bits, then looked around for the shooter. No one had a gun and no one was volunteering.
Grimlock frowned, then he looked at Vinn. "WHAT THE FRAG!"
Vinn who was secretly DELIGHTED AND DANCING THE METAPHORICAL MAYPOLE looked at Grimlock with feigned sympathy, then shrugged. "It's in the rules."
:Since when?: -everyone in the crowd.
:Since now!: Vinn said as his internal audials rang from several hundred people off lining to him at the same time about killing the hairy slaggers. "Since last time. It's called the Sandstorm Rule."
It was unanimously approved by the Congregation.
Off line.
We are taking, after all, about the Dinobots.
Fuming madly, Grimlock pressed a button. The remaining spider began to rampage.
HUGE SCREAMING AND RUNNING IN CIRCLES BY HUMANS AND BOTS ALIKE COMMENCED!
Their little bots, however, kept their slag together and the fusillade against the EVIL FROM THE PIT was almost unimaginable.
-0-MCA
"IS IT DEAD YET? IS IT DEAD YET? IS IT DEAD YET?!" -two of the six commentators on the panel exhibiting their arachnophobia from behind their hands.
-0-Across most of planet Earth …
"IS IT DEAD YET? IS IT DEAD YET? IS IT DEAD YET? IS IT DEAD YET?!"
-0-Cybertron
"What the frag is that, Amma?" -everyone on Cybertron with an amma
"I don't know but if they don't kill it soon I'm going to shoot the monitor." -every amma on Cybertron
-0-Camp Terror, Razorclaw's base and the base of Ominous, yet to be named
"I think I'd like a few of those." -Razorclaw and Ominous
:Frag. I hope not: -everyone else on two bases
-0-There
It would be talked about a long time how high spiders can jump. A swift search of the internet found that if a tarantula was agitated or cold enough it could leap 12-14 feet in the air. This one did and landed on top of Yellow Fort. Everyone inside began shooting upward all at the same time. It leaped again and landed outside of Camp Awesome where thirteen mini-cons were screaming for their mama. It was then that a gun came out and a spider flew into splinters under direct fire.
Everyone stared at the spider, then the shooter, then Grimlock. It was fortunate for Buzz Saw that Buzz Saw was Grimlock's surgical nurse during his mental upgrades or Grimlock would be sorely pissed. However, he wasn't.
Mostly.
After all, EVERYONE loved Buzzie.
Buzzie looked shocked and worried as he glanced around with a smoking gun in his servo. Cliffjumper who was startled, then began to do what Cliffie was good at.
Yelling:
"DID YOU SEE THAT! BUZZIE IS THE BEST! HE'S THE BEST OF THE BEST! SEE THAT *GRIMLOCK*?! FRAG YOUR BUGS! WHAT YA GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!?" Cliffie said loudly but not well.
Grimlock stared at him, then grinned. "Why don't we find out?" he said as he turned his own bot toward the village. The other four began to run to join him. All of the Dinobots were heading for Camp Awesome commanded by the Generalissimo Majordomo El Supremo Cliffie.
It was hard to figure what was worse … a giant spider or five Dinobots with a grudge.
-0-TBC 4-10-18 edited 4-18-18
We grew up with a kid named Delbert Morrell Mitchell. He was always getting swatted by his too old to be parents parents. Now, if you're a dudley or doofus, my family says, "Don't be a Delbert." :D
I grew up in a house with black widows. ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!