The Diego Diaries: Game (dd6 325)
-0-There
They came in a cloud of dust, four bots running and one flying. They spewed fire as they closed ground.
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, CLIFFIE!?" Buzzie cried out as if the little slagger himself was going to die rather than his cute and HEAVILY armed little botlet.
"THIS!" Cliffie said as he fell back to the gates of his city where twelve of his troops were finding places to hide. Rocket launchers flipped up out of botlet subspace and fired. The recoil shot him backward into the city where he went through three walls before he slowed down enough to fall to the floor in a haberdashery shop.
Grapple liked 1800's UK architecture styles.
Two missiles spiraled toward the bots who lunged to miss them. All of them did but Snarl who was shoved into them by his brothers fleeing and was vaporized. The three on the ground and Swoop hovering stared at the glassed hole in the ground where Snarl had stood, then turned to the fort. Fire blew in bales as they started up again.
One down, four to go.
HUGE applause lit up that statistic as the Dinobots reached the city gates. "BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!" Grimlock said as he took a road going right and exhaled. The others took their own routes, breathing out at different intervals to set the place ablaze.
Little bots were running for the walls, climbing over and heading lickety split to Metroplex where several other survivors of their own special Titanic were hiding out with Leader-1 and the heavily grieving and venting Skids. They would be followed by several bots who were dragging Cliffie who wanted to stay and duke it out. Given the blaze in progress and the lack of fire departments anywhere, they were opting for paybacks at a future date.
"I WILL FRAG YOU *UP*!" Cliffie said firing at the debacle as his mechs towed him off.
It was then that Sludge jumped over the wall, transformed into a bot and ran for Cliffie. The botlet mechs who were towing him away dropped his snarling little botlet and ran for it. Clambering back up, Cliffie raged. "FRAGGERS! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW A MINI-CON FIGHTS!"
HUGE MINI-CON APPLAUSE AND BUY IN!
STANIX DID A WAR CHANT AND DANCE AS BUZZIE STOOD OVER CLIFFIE CLUTCHING HIS SERVOS TOGETHER AS HE WATCHED IN HORROR.
The only thing missing were the pearls.
It was then that the stingers came up on Cliffie's little botlet shoulders and the last two missiles in his arsenal flew out to hit their targets. Sludge who ducked just in time was nevertheless clipped alongside the helm as the missiles flew onward. They hit the wall of the village and blew up, throwing fire and shrapnel everywhere. Cliff watched them with appreciation, then turned to Sludge. That mech was walking in a circle. Cliff would've run up to him to administer the CLIFFJUMPER FATAL BLOW OF DOOM! (TM!) but Swoop had other ideas. He glided in, picked Cliff up and flew off. Buzzie nearly vapor locked.
"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! CLIFFIE!"
Swoop flew off and disappeared so to speak somewhere on the other side of the game board whereupon he dropped Cliff from a (relatively) great height into the Mountains of Something Or Other. He fell into them and disappeared. A roar went up as Sludge continued to walk in a circle. That was about the time that Ratchet finally made it to the big Dinobot and nailed him with the nautical ring. His little botlet then started to drag him toward the sidelines.
"NO, RATCHET, NO!" -every tarantula-hating individual there including the priests, Lady Sela, half the panel at the MCA who hadn't forgiven Grimlock either, everyone of the Supremes including several others who were still not returned to the family who would have agreed if they had been here, every human on Earth who wasn't deeply mentally ill, most of Cybertron who hated bugs especially Insecticon types, and Magnus.
He hated spiders, too. He also hated Dinobots but most did.
Except Sadee.
She sorta had a crush on Grimlock.
"NO, RATCHET, NO! NO, RATCHET, NO!" A chant broke out as Ratchet struggled, then dragged the little slagger over the line. He turned back to the crowd as the gamers took the little bot for repairs.
"Thanks, Ratchet. There's more here to work with than Snarl," one of them said with a grin as he glanced Ratchet's way.
Ratchet laughed. "Give me a magnet and I'll go see what I can get."
HUGE laughter.
Ratchet's botlet picked up the ring and began to saunter back. "I, RATCHET, HAVE LAID SERVOS ON, BRINGING TO TRIAGE THE LOST AND-" That was as far as he got before the catcalls and genuine outrage that Sludge might come back buried his BS. He grinned as his little bot headed for the bridge. (Somewhere just off the game board a very pissed off Ogre/Troll huffed his way back through the feet of the crowd who were cautioned by Vinn not to step on him, the malevolent little slagger.) Ratchet had to rescue Prime, Prowl and whoever else was in the hole in the ground yet. Glancing at Grimlock, he grinned. "GRIMLOCK! I DID YOU A SOLID! LET MY PEOPLE GO!"
Grimlock grinned at Ratchet, then glanced at the hole. "Okay," he said.
Everyone froze everywhere, even on multiple planets, including the other Dinobots. The lid began to rise and everywhere on several worlds everyone waited for something revolting and not a little scary to jump out. They wouldn't be disappointed.
-0-Around
"Mama, I hate spiders," Little Former Pastor Bob said.
"I do, too," Former Pastor Bob said as he lounged in his parent's house for the game. He was president of the Earth-Cybertron-Mars Autobot Cultural Appreciation and Sports Association which had about 120,000,000 members at present and which had become a full time job. Not only was he busy in an office running an internet business that was number 46 in overall traffic on the internet but he was also consulted and often on television to explain the bots, talk about their culture and be a part of the presentation of their sports.
He had resigned his other job and taken to the new life with a vengeance. Never in the other life did he have as much fun, nor enjoy what he did this much. His wife worked with him and his kids helped him with social media. His parents were immensely respected, his mother the most read Autobot blogger on Earth, and all was well.
The slagger.
"They're all God's children," Amma Annie said with a grin as she real time blogged the debacle.
"There's that," Former Pastor Bob said absently as he watched the show. He was also live blogging and both he and his mother would be consulted afterward during the MCA post game.
Appa Leonard and Amma Annie grinned at their family. All was good.
-0-There
The hole opened slowly, like someone easing up a chest freezer door. Something could be seen moving inside and it was bone chilling. There wasn't a bot who couldn't destroy anything on the board with a well placed ped but this was still scary in some undefinable manner. Then the lid burst open enough that three things leaped out and landed in the open space near the Crags and Swirly Hole Lake. In their mouths, they held the well chewed botlets of Optimus Prime, Prowl and Hot Rod.
Three Utah Raptors shimmering in a nice metallic red reptilian-style paint scheme looked at everyone with shifty but deeply intelligent eyes. It was then that Grimlock signaled them to spit all three out.
PA-TOOIE!
"GRIMLOCK!" Hot Rod bellowed as his bot got up with the other two. Roddy's body was covered in chew marks, teeth having done yeoman work on his frame. His frame among Cybertronians was considered mucho handsome and desirable which is why he perfected his paint scheme and general overall appearance over the orns. He knew he was that handsome. Now he looked like an old chew toy.
Smokey: "BWAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAAA! LOOK AT YOU!"
Prowl was only marginally better off. Rather than toothpick legs like Hot Rod now possessed, he had bite marks, bent and pathetic little wing-stubs and little else. Prime, on the other servo, was more 'refined'. His arms and legs were slightly bowed making him look like an old time cowboy or a barrel rider.
Not of the horse variety, one might add, but the actual keg.
Prowl fumed at Prime who was laughing loudly, then made his bot turn toward Hot Rod, pull out his big old gun, put it against Roddy's helm, and pull the trigger. The bullets took the top of his helm off staggering Roddy on his spindly legs.
"WHAT THE FRAG, PROWL!" Roddy said with amazement.
"FRAG YOU, *HOT ROD*! YOU'RE OVER!" Prowl raised his gun again.
Hot Rod seeing retreat as the better part of valor beat feet with a sword still rammed into his chest. His little helm, open for all to see, sparkled as the mechanism worked from its control center inside. Prowl limped after him as Big Optimus howled.
Three raptors watched them without moving. It was unnerving. After a moment of intense willies, the three raptors hopped back into the hole and the lid closed. If everyone could breathe air, a sand storm would have kicked up when they did from the exhales of relief. Then everyone turned to the high comedy of P v HR.
Roddy ran toward Orange Fort hoping against hope to find sanctuary. If he had gone to the Temple, he would've had it. Now it was up to Auntie Lissie and the Boyz to decide if he lived or died. They were discussing it as the slow mo chase raged on.
"What about that infant? Do we save him or let the inevitable take over?" Kup said as he considered the spectacle. "He won't last long against someone with their complete faculties."
"WE'RE TALKING DINOBOTS!" Xantium bellowed to be ornery.
"FRAG YOU, XANTIUM! I HATE YOU!" Grimlock said as he maneuvered with the others toward Metroplex.
"GO INSIDE, GRIMLOCK! TEAR UP MY CITY!" Metroplex said with a smirk of Hidden Knowledge. Grimmy wasn't the only low down slagger in the game.
"What about we let him in and use him for a step ladder if the wall ramps fall?" Hercy said to Lissie, an old friend and dear combat companion.
"I think that would be merciful. It's not like he's going to be much help and if mechs pile up at the door because they can't get in it cuts down on our options," Lissie said sweetly and strategically.
"SLAG HIM! SLAG THEM ALL!" Ramcharger said as his bot stood on the ramparts with his little antique genitors. Elba and Alejate were standing beside him on the sidelines with their remote controls. They were good gamers. They were retired and had the time.
"LET ME IN!" Roddy said as he limped to the door.
They looked at each other, then Lissie nodded. "Let the mercy case in."
The doors opened, Roddy limped in and they closed. Prowl bumped his tiny helm on them as he found himself, yet again, a day late and a dollar short.
"LET ME IN! I'M GOING TO MURDERATE HIM!" Prowl roared as the crowd laughed mightily.
Hercy grinned, then turned toward Prowl. "You left Prime alone with the raptors."
Prowl nearly jumped out of his exoskeleton at that reminder, so the crowd had the happy opportunity to see him stagger back to Prime. "Optimus, move it along. Head for the bridge," he called out as he neared the Trap Door of Doom.
"Okay," Prime said with a chuckle.
"YEAH! MOVE IT ALONG, PRIME!"
"LISTEN TO YOUR MAMA!" -Venture
"Prowl, save that mech. He's holy." -Miler aka 'Prowl's Mama'
-0-A moment to study the situation or 'sitch-ee-ashun' as some arm chair generals call it ...
The teams are in various degrees of disarray and smashed-ness … Blue Team, Yellow Team, Red Team, Mini-Con City, Camp Awesome, and Cliffjumper have seen better orns.
The Dinobots are ascendant with possibilities luxe. The Arachnid Caper was a bust but the potential for the six, count them SIX, raptors to slay is off the charts. Miler and Warlord are hard at it with a tech kid to get their bots out of Swirly Hole Lake. Five mini-cons including Leader-1 hid in Metroplex while Cliffjumper and his entire team flee the site of their Latest FAIL. The level of angst of Buzzie was another casualty of Cliffjumper's Latest FAIL.
Two mini-con enclaves were burning with Mini-Con City tapering off. There would still be places to hide but they would be shorter than they were before and perforated with holes cast by exploding ordinance and falling rocks.
Two combiners showed their glory out of the many still hidden amongst the punters. They were Red and Blue Teams who showed a level of doofusness that was rarely achieved in the Annals of Fail, Epic or Otherwise. Red Team had a sad in the back confines of their fort and Yellow had a bit of damage from tarantulas falling out of the sky and those inside driven mad with overpowering fear and loathing unloading endless streams of gunfire into its tender and extremely ugly underbelly.
Like that.
Mudflaps was somewhere. Oh, right. He was crawling out of the bar of Club Cybertron in Metroplex.
Cliffjumper was wedged in the Mountains of Something Or Other.
Everyone had Swoop on their 'Kill-DON'T Capture' list.
The slagger.
Orange Fort was now occupied by Auntie Lissie and the LEGIONS OF THE IMMORTALS (and their antique sons) with Three Towers Amid The Razor Wire still up for grabs.
Forts and groups biding their time: Teal Team with the femmes and related spouses, the Titanic Team of (Blunt Force) Trauma aka titans and dreads, Seekers, Beachcomber whose little group was having a good time on the beach at their oceanic Fort Cool, free-ballers like Bee and Jazz's group were all still in one piece.
Sitting it out had its advantages.
Ask the Hu-An thus far.
Mudflaps crawled out of Club Cybertron and joined the other mini-cons under the leadership of Leader-1 until Cliffjumper arrived. The two were currently shooting it out for supremacy on the mean streets of Metroplex.
Hammer of Primus and Consolation were having a charming conversation and setting up a dinner date for the evening in the course of their budding romance. Both would agree that pretender gear was the bomb.
Ratchet would be getting the subtext first and have a casual conversation aka snooping session after the game that would scare everyone in the big frame camp for miles around.
No one would be getting any of the treasure disks hidden about, all five of them, for some time to come though Devcon who had the ability to be thinking about more than two things at a time would be hunting. Finding hidden things was his thing.
Prowl, on the other hand, and Paragon who was no slouch himself were too busy FUMING AND SHOOTING THINGS (Prowl) and LAUGHING MADLY WITH HIS BOND (Paragon) to tune into that part of the game just yet.
The orn was young.
The humans? They were waiting for everyone to kill themselves so they could cake walk to the win.
So was Madura and Proteus, though they were in truth just too intimidated as yet to enter though Edict was encouraging them.
N00bies...
-0-Back to the action
:I think we're playing a fool's game waiting for the Dinobots to either die or come to kill us. How about we take the war to everyone: Raptor said to Blue Team.
:Sounds good to me: -everyone on every team in the game together coming to the same conclusion independently.
Seconds later …
Everyone everywhere armed to the teeth and beyond ran out of their forts with guns blazing. Then they halted, looked around and ran back inside.
It was going to take a while for anyone to grow a pair and try it again.
That was when Springer and Drift galloping along the river decided to get fancy.
-0-TBC 4-11-18 edited 4-12-18