The Diego Diaries: Game (dd6 328)
-0-There
It would be talked about a lot how a slimline missile from an over-sized gun held by a tiny little femme botlet could find its target so perfectly. It ripped out of the barrel, flew in a straight line and went up the aft of Springer's horse. The horse exploded and turned to shrapnel which just happened to miss Drift and his horse. What it didn't miss was the lower half of Springer's botlet's body. That erupted like the horse and peppered the area with his green and yellow lusciousness for some distance around. Flying ahead of Drift who was slowing his botlet, Upper Torso Springer or UTS as he would be known now hit the ground, rolled, then sat upright on the nubbins of his nibbins.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" Springer said with surprise.
Everyone there turned toward Laret who was standing with her console next to Miler paralyzed with surprise. They gave her a standing ovation.
"SPRINGER!" Laret said with a stricken expression. She turned toward Sunny who was looking at her like she was a goddess. "What do I do, Sunny?"
"Shoot both of them to dust, then stand next to me," Sunstreaker said.
She turned toward the little botlets where Drift-let was pulling UTS onto his pony. She turned her botlet, glanced at Sunstreaker with uncertainty, then fired. The missile burst forward, zeroed in on Drift riding madly, then went up that horse's aft as well. A rupture of explosion occurred, then the horse disintegrated. UTC and now UTD were thrown aft over tea kettle away to land in the maze and disappear. It was silent a moment, then every Wrecker in the audience laughed loudly and long.
"WELL DONE, CHIEF!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"I don't think its funny." -Partition, loyally
"I think its pretty hilarious." -Lancer 'mourning' her brothers
Everyone turned back to the quicksand. Sunstreaker who was considering pulling his team out by hand, frag the rules, glanced at the others. "You slaggers. Listen up."
"ATAR! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Bluestreak called out as he glanced down the row at Prowl.
Prowl who was torn did the math, then leaned back himself. "NO CAN DO JUST YET! HANG ON!"
"TO WHAT!?" Bluestreak asked with a laugh.
"Try to move to Sunstreaker, then climb up onto his helm," Prowl said with a self satisfied smirk.
"I'll remember that," Sunny said as he considered how to get his bot out of there. Then he came to a conclusion he remembered seeing once when he was laughing his way through a Bay movie about their people, the one where Ironhide shoots the ground to propel himself over a screaming woman about to become toe jam on his big old peds. Arming his guns which were fully under the gunk, he fired them. The resultant compression, the bubble of the explosion when it reached the bottom of the quicksand created lift off. Sunstreaker rose upward and flew through the air. He landed on his back, then froze. He was still on quicksand but floating because his body was spread out over an unbroken surface.
"What now, Sunny?" Blue asked.
"Let me get out of here and I'll pull you out. I'd have horses to do it but Springer and Drift are sad," Sunny said as he studied the problem. "Laret, probe the ground. See where solid earth begins."
She looked uncertainly at Sunny, then her little bot began to touch the ground with her tiny foot. She edged out until she was in reach of Sunstreaker's servo. "It begins here, Sunny."
"Put down your gun and drag me out, Laret," Sunny said as Laret complied.
It was slow and he was heavy but soon he was standing up again. He grinned at her. "Thanks."
She nodded, then looked at a smirking Drift and Springer. "I didn't mean to do that. I was just … unnerved."
"IT'S THE GAME, LARET! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STAB YOUR OWN SIDE IN THE BACK! JUST ASK THE KIDS!" Xantium called out in a Supreme moment of (poor) sportsmanship.
HUGE laughter and catcalls.
Sunstreaker grinned. "Ignore him, Laret. He's just jealous of your gun and aim."
Laughter and agreement met that as Xee sulked on the sideline.
The whiner.
"SHOOT YOUR WAY OUT!" Sunstreaker said. "WE'LL GRAB YOU!"
It was then that the crowd was granted the spectacle of tiny botlets shooting their guns off in the mess and pipping up and down here and there. Slowly, with effort, they were hauled out. All of them but Sandstorm, Neo and Sideswipe were missing feet, having shot their own off getting out. Smokey was missing both. He glared at his amma and appa who were doubled over laughing as he stood up on his pegs. "WHAT'S SO FUNNY!?"
"YOU!" -everyone there who were laughing madly as well.
"*NOW* WHO LOOKS LIKE A JACKASS!?" Hot Rod called out from nearby.
"*YOU DO!" Smokey replied.
"YOU HAVE NO PEDS, *SMOKEY*! TELL ME WHO THE *REAL* JACKASS IS!?" Roddy called out as both of them forgot the entire galaxy was tuned into their little bitch fest. He, himself, had just returned from nearly a full body rebuild without paint, of course.
His vanity … it burned, the precious.
"*YOU* ARE! LOSER! I WILL *KILL* YOU!" Smokey said as he began to walk his little weebler toward Hot Rod's on his suddenly spindly no-feet legs.
Roddy, who other than being 'stark naked' began to traverse toward Smokey.
"What do you wanna do, Dev? It appears that someone is going after our one and onliest grandson," Smokescreen said casually.
"I saw that … our only one," Dev said calmly.
Hot Rod slowed, then glared at Smokey. "I'm still going to get you, slagger. YOU HEAR ME, DEV AND SMOKESCREEN!?"
"We're recording it, Hot Rod," Smokescreen said with a grin.
"HOW! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT, TOUGH GUY!" Smokey demanded. "YOU'RE STARK NAKED!"
For a moment, Roddy blanched with embarrassment and insult, then gathered his sense again. He may be naked, glowing a dull metallic over most of his body but it didn't mean the same thing here as it did among the humans among whom he was spending way too much time, obviously. Being 'naked' among the Cybertronians meant you were either a boorish, irretrievable slob or someone who just got nuked. One was preferred over the other.
(We will let the reader determine which one Roddy preferred and Smokey inferred. -The Management)
Roddy glared at Smokey. "OH *YEAH*!?"
That was when Smokey began his long humbling march to take Hot Rod apart.
Dev and Smokescreen glanced at each other, then grinned. "I can't wait to see this. A teachable moment, Smoke. Let's see what little mech still needs to know."
Huge laughter greeted that as the two bots stumbled toward each other, one with no feet and the other with no shame. While that was happening, Yellow Team regrouped without two of their dimmer members, the other teams crept closer to the Seekers, feeling along for more quicksand, and Red Team stopped to watch everything and everyone.
This wasn't going to end well.
-0-Fort Three Towers and Razor Wire
Starscream and the elders worked out what to do. They would blast everyone to hell and gone and win.
Strategy.
Easy peasy.
"I think I want to watch Hot Rod and Smokey do their dance of doom," Warlord said as he moved to one side to see better. "What a pair."
"Truly but a pair of what?" Rainmaker said with a giant smile.
The groups got closer. So did Smokey and Hot Rod. Everyone was split watching the two in a game without many rules and everyone else on the board. Anything could happen and it did. When the two were close enough, they pulled out their over size guns, pointed them and fired. A missile hit Roddy and he flew backward to sit in the sand with a big hole in his chassis. Smokey could see the ped of Bulkhead through it. That is, he could have if he still had most of his helm but he didn't.
Thank you very much, *Hot Rod*.
He staggered backward and sat down hard, too.
"Well, that was anti-climatic," Tyro said as he stood beside Bulkhead. "At least we know where both of them are for the duration. WHO WANTS TO DRAG THEM TO THE SIDELINES!? BESIDES RATCHET!?."
chirp … chirp … chirp …
(Insert cute scowls from two youngling bots that should know better. Cue Ratchet the Ever Ready and his nautical ring)
"My sentiments exactly," Scar said as he swayed gently. His daughter was dozing in his carry hold. "What's the deal with infants these orns? In my orn, we got worse and still had to go to the mines."
:I had to walk to school down a snow covered road two miles to the bus stop. Then I had to take a bus: Will Lennox said knowing full well what would come next. It was still hilarious.
"I didn't get to go to school," Scar said with a slight grin. "What about you, Bulk?"
"Nope," he said. "What about you, Leo?"
Around the group next to the shoot out, the big mechs and a couple of femmes told their own 2 cents. None of them went to school, none of them lived in the north where there was snow and all of them were poorer/more put upon/whinier than Lennox.
"So what's next, Lennox? Poor stories?" Jazz asked with a big jazzy smile as he stood behind the soldiers fort. "You know ya wanna."
:I actually want to hear how you robbed Prowl's family instead: Lennox said to the hoots and hollers of the punters all around including the still steaming Xantium and Omega.
Prowl frowned. "As if," he said as Red Team gathered to watch the show. "Sentinel, maybe. How about it, Hobbes? Anyone hit your house?" he asked because he was Prowl.
Burris smirked. "They did. Many times."
"Where did you live, Burris? It might jog a memory," Sandstorm said as everyone laughed rudely.
"What now?" Sideswipe asked Sunstreaker as they gathered in a row across the way from the fort. He would've added his own tales of larceny but he wasn't sure the statutes of limitations had run out on all of them.
"How about everyone coming forward to unload on them at the same time," Sunstreaker said with a big grin. "I want Laret right here," he said pointing to a place next to him.
She grinned as her little botlet lugged her big, big gun forward. "Come along, too, Neo. You can help me."
Everyone grinned at the two femmes as they leaned together over their consoles to make it so. Blue Team arrived, Turbine and Delphi turned into ridiculously enhanced tanks while Magnus and the femmes huddled. They grinned, nodded and everyone's sphincter tightened for miles around.
Magnus's little dude stepped forward followed by the rest of the femmes and a grinning Maelstrom-let. Magnus smirked slightly at the punters, then said the magic words … "Team! COMBINE!" With that, a mob of femmes and Maelstrom botlets ran toward Magnus's little bot and jumped on him. A light blasted, then settled. A new combiner had made their way toward the Annals of Immortality.
Magus-Feminista-Giganto-Excaliber-Calypso-MegaBlast.
Magnus who hadn't been informed of the name in advance glanced at the femmes and Maelstrom with a frown. "What?"
"We used a name generator from the internet. Go with it, Magnus," Arcee said with a grin. "Please note that I'm the Right Hand of Doom."
Everyone identified themselves, then MFGECMB or MUFF-GEC-MUM-BUH reached down to pick up the sword formerly known as Maelstrom. Magnus as the helm told his arm/Elita to raise it, then teetered a moment. He then righted himself. "I, Magnus, leader of … of ..." He frowned as he glanced at Arcee who was smirking. "This combiner … I declare war upon Seekerdom." Glancing at the other teams, Magnus grinned. "Last one there is a slagger." With that, he raised Maelstrom over his helm and charged.
Everyone watched breathlessly as MUFF-GEC-MUM-BUH ran forward. Turbine and Delphi opened up fire on the Seekers as Prowl glanced upward at a bedazzled Prime. "Are you going to let them do this without us? They're going to get all the glory."
Prime grinned down at Prowl. "Yes. For now." He winked at Prowl. "Also, all the blast holes."
Prowl stared at him, then Magnus. Then he watched as the Seekers opened up on the slaggers hoping to unhinge MUFF-GEC-MUM-BUH with carefully placed shots. They pattered against Magnus as he ran forward looking like Voltron if Voltron wasn't a ground vehicle, didn't have lion-like appendages and was half grrl.
19 Seekers and their turret guns let him have it. It didn't slow him down a bit. Starscream called out for air support. Half a dozen Seekers jumped up to transform mid air and fly up to blast everyone to the dark ages. Two of them actually made it. Four of them were too close to the razor wire and when they jumped up the sharp blades reduced them to confetti. The slight breeze that had been there from the beginning began to blow them away.
"WHAT THE FRAG! WE'RE IN A DEATH TRAP!" Red Wing said as he laughed loudly.
"We have to get out of this, Starscream," Warlord said for his father who was nearly sitting on the ground laughing at the sight of Seekers shredding into Wetabix to blow away and the look on Starscream's face when they did.
Starscream bellowed his rage, then began to direct his flights to leave. They were getting peppered to death by the accurate fire of the slaggers closing in on them. By the time the mob had departed, Starscream, Warlord, Razor, Rainmaker, and Harrier were left. "GO! WE HAVE TO G-" Starscream began before the Doom of MUFF-GEC-MUM-BUH reached them in the sharply edged format of Maelstrom. It cleaved the tower down the middle. Both Starscream and Rainmaker lost an arm in the process.
Warlord grabbed his father's console and managed to get his little botlet transformed. He flew upward with only one wing and bobbled off along with the others. Starscream who was last, bless his little spark, watched Maelstrom come down one more time, was flipped off the tottering tower and landed on the razor wire. It was like watching an onion get sliced all at once on a mandolin. He was cut into seventeen slices all of which landed on the ground in his shape, then fell apart like bread slid out of its plastic bag.
The laughter and howling could be heard on Cybertron.
-0-TBC 4-13-18 edited 4-14-18
mandolin: a slicer where you move the thing being cut across the blade. It's also a tiny guitar-like string instrument. :D
I think the X-Man girl in Deadpool has the SINGLE GREATEST name in cartoon world: Negasonic Teenage Warhead. LOL! Only with Deadpool. :D