*Chapter Twenty-Four: Overwhelmed
(December 8th, 2017, Friday Afternoon)
Natsu couldn't focus on the ache in his legs or feet, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of Happy and Lucy. He wanted to know how they were doing, if they were being treated fairly. The lack of zombies around base had been good for two reasons. They were safe from an attack, and Natsu wasn't vulnerable while he was stuck in his head the whole time he was off base.
It helped that Gray and Ultear stuck by him once they ran into each other. He knew they had his back, but he didn't have theirs, too busy counting down the minutes until he could get back on base to see Happy.
"Well that was boring," Gray drawled, tugging at the hem of his shirt.
Ultear slapped his hand away, preventing him from stripping as they walked back to base. "Yeah, but I guess it's good we didn't find any."
Natsu didn't respond to either, his eyes trained on the ground as his brows remained furrowed in concentration. He couldn't shake the feeling they were missing something. He saw with his own eyes Warcry got bit by a dog, but as far as they knew dogs and other animals couldn't get infected. He had seen zombies ripping into animals before, but it never caused them to change, so why did Warcry get infected?
'Maybe Makarov's right... Maybe Warcry accidentally touched his wound to his clothes. He had killed a lot of zombies yesterday... It could be possible.'
Natsu took a deep breath, wishing he had all the answers. He couldn't stand not knowing, especially when that knowledge could help his friends. He hoped Lucy and Happy stayed strong while they were locked up. 'It won't be long until this all blows over. Then they can come back.'
Natsu wasn't sure he believed himself, but it wasn't going to do him any good being pessimistic. He was naturally a 'glass half full' kind of guy, wanting to see the goodness in the world, but even he had his limits.
Natsu jolted when he was literally jerked out of his thoughts, eyes wild until they landed on Gray. He opened his mouth to ask what was going on, only to hear Gray laugh.
"I've been calling your name for the last minute. You okay?"
Natsu swallowed, already feeling the lie climb up his tight throat. "Y-yeah," he mumbled, blinking a few times to clear his head. It didn't work, not that he thought it would. "I'm fine."
"Thinking about Happy?" Gray asked, cocking his head. "Or Lucy?"
Natsu was ready to lie again, only to sigh instead. He pushed the ill feelings down, not wanting them to take over. "Both," he whispered, making sure the people around them couldn't hear. One look around let him know a few survivors joined them on their walk back to base, but he wasn't friends with any of them, so he didn't want them knowing what was on his mind.
Gray nodded, keeping his voice low too. "Gotcha. You gonna get to see them later?"
"Yeah," he breathed, wrapping one arm around his stomach. He hadn't encountered any zombies that day, meaning his clothes were clean. When off base, Natsu tried not touching his clothes just in case there was a chance of infection from the dead zombie's blood. He wondered if Warcry did the same, but he had never paid enough attention to notice.
"How do you think Lucy's doing?"
Natsu blinked, not expecting Gray to ask that. He looked up, locking eyes with his friend for a few seconds before releasing his breath. "Scared." It was the only thing he could say, his mind muddled with thoughts of her eyes. He had seen so much fear and uncertainty in them. He hoped she wasn't as scared as she looked, but he had a feeling it was the opposite, Lucy being terrified while trying to hide it.
"I don't know what to do," Natsu whispered, feeling safe enough to admit that to Gray. He could trust his best friend with his thoughts and feelings, as long as they didn't reveal anything too personal about Lucy. She may have been locked up, but she still deserved privacy.
Natsu lowered his gaze, the smallest smile quirking at his lips when he felt Gray pat his back. If he closed his eyes and cleared his head, he could pretend it was Igneel patting his back like he had done so many times before. He missed his dad, his heart aching at the thought of being separated from his family.
"I'm sure it'll be fine," Gray said, but his tone held a bit of disbelief.
Natsu couldn't blame him. He was uncertain too. He wanted to believe everything would work out for the best, but after months of hell, he knew things could go sideways at a moment's notice. He just hoped Lucy and Happy stayed safe. He didn't know what he would do if he found out they had been hurt.
Natsu swallowed, wondering if he worried about Lucy because he made a promise to protect her, or if it was just because she was his friend. He didn't know where the line was drawn, or when it started to blur. He wanted to think his concern was because she was his friend, not out of some obligation to keep her safe, but he couldn't be sure. Regardless, he wanted her safe, and that was all that mattered.
Speaking of keeping her safe, Natsu glanced at Gray again, unaware of the stares he received as they entered the base. Two guards escorted the small group, but Natsu was too busy rehearsing what he needed to say to Gray instead of paying attention to his surroundings.
"Hey, I almost forgot..." Natsu took a step closer to Gray, not wanting anyone to overhear him. "Lucy wanted me to tell you thanks."
Gray raised a brow, his silent question heard loud and clear. Natsu thought back to when Gray attacked Warcry, killing him before he could attack Lucy again. "For saving her," he whispered, seeing recognition flash through Gray's eyes.
"Oh, okay." Gray shrugged, his body language nonchalant, but Natsu could hear a bit of relief in his tone. "It was nothing. She doesn't have to thank me."
Natsu decided not to press, instead letting Gray get away with seeming uninterested. "Well, she does. I..." Natsu took a deep breath, trying to push down the anger in his chest at the thought of being held back while Lucy was in danger. He never wanted to feel that useless again.
"I wanted to say thanks too."
Gray huffed through his nose, a small smile sliding on his face. "Don't mention it." Gray gave him a pointed look before shaking his head. "Seriously, it's fine. I know you woulda done the same if Ultear or Lyon were getting attacked."
Natsu wished those words comforted him, but they didn't. Not only would those two be able to take care of themselves if they were attacked, Lucy wasn't family to Natsu. Hell, she was his friend at best, and responsibility at worst. He knew it wouldn't have been the same situation, but instead of dwelling on it, Natsu moved forward.
Literally and figuratively.
Natsu took a deep breath as they entered the arena, his stomach knotting at the memories of that morning. He swore no time had passed, feeling like he had been screaming in the main area a few minutes ago. His throat tickled as he swallowed, serving as a reminder he didn't want.
As Natsu lined up with the other clearers, he looked around, his brows furrowing when he noticed a few guards looking his way. He didn't think anything of it at first, instead deciding to shrug it off and think about what he was going to bring for Happy and Lucy. He had a good idea on what he would bring her, but he didn't know if Happy needed anything, other than being set free.
Natsu would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about breaking the rules and busting his cat out anyway, but he always dismissed the idea, knowing it would do more harm than good. If Makarov was right, everything would blow over soon enough, then Happy would be released.
Natsu just had to be patient in the meantime, even if doing nothing made his stomach churn.
"Here," Gray said, snapping Natsu out of his thoughts.
He looked up, seeing Gray turning in his ax, Ultear following after him to give Nobarly her weapon. Natsu started undoing the belt that held his knives, assuming everything was normal as he prepared to turn them in. Natsu wasn't surprised when Nobarly snickered under his breath when he stepped forward, now used to the slight hostility.
Natsu held up his belt, but before he could say anything, Nobarly cut him off with a laugh. "I thought she was weird, but that's just..." Nobarly shook his head, grabbing Natsu's knives before giving a cocky grin. "Good luck with that."
"What?" Natsu asked, his brows furrowing. He stuck around for a few seconds, but when Nobarly didn't answer right away, Natsu turned, deciding he wasn't worth his time. Nobarly was probably going to make some snide comment about Lucy being in quarantine, and that was something Natsu didn't want to hear. It was better for everyone if he just left the situation before it could get worse.
"Ready to go?" Gray asked, earning a nod from Natsu.
Ultear had already broken off from their group, heading to the women's locker room with some clearers, a guard close by to escort them. Natsu and Gray waited until a few more guys finished handing in their weapons before going to get processed.
Natsu found out quick the process had changed a bit, Jellal giving a more thorough check to make sure no one was scratched or infected. It wasn't too invasive physically, but Natsu didn't get a kick out of Jellal staring at his junk, 'just in case'. He was sure Jellal wasn't happy about the new way either, his jaw clenched and brows furrowed the entire time.
Natsu sighed in relief when him and Gray started heading back to the school. He was ready to get the stuff he needed for his roommates while the sun was still in the sky. It would be harder to visit after dark, and that was even if Natsu was allowed to. He didn't know all the rules Makarov had set out for their quarantines, but he hoped their leader would cut him some slack.
Natsu blinked as he stepped into the school, adjusting to the low lighting. There was no point in wishing the lights above worked, knowing electricity wasn't available. They were lucky enough to have some lights in the arena, but there was no telling how long the solar panels would last. Natsu didn't want to think about what would happen when they went out, knowing it would be a grim and dark day.
The only reason they were able to have clean water was because they used the stoves in the arena to boil the rain water, otherwise the process would be a lot slower, everyone needing to build fires to clean the water. It would add an extra stress to the already inconvenient world, but Natsu had other things to worry about, namely what he was going to bring Happy.
He had heard animals liked having the scent of their owners with them. That led Natsu to thinking about which shirt he could leave with Happy to give him some comfort. He was leaning towards the shirt he wore currently, knowing it had to smell like himself, while also being clean when it came to blood. He just needed to change when he got to his room, as well as grab some stuff for Lucy.
"Are you gonna be okay by yourself?" Gray asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You can room with us if you need?"
Natsu shook his head, declining the offer. "Thanks, but I think I'll be alright." It was only two nights, but he knew it would feel much longer to his absent roommates. 'This'll all be over soon. Just gotta be patient.' That was easier said than done, but he was managing.
For a moment, Natsu believed himself. It was all a waiting game. However, before Natsu could feel better, him and Gray rounded a corner, heading down the long hall towards the stairwell.
He kept his head down, trying to focus on the positives. Lucy and Happy were safe, and they wouldn't be mistreated while in captivity. He hoped her being locked up wouldn't remind her of when she was held against her will by the group that hurt her, but he doubted she wouldn't think about it, at least once.
Gray started saying something, but Natsu's mind blocked him out as soon as he thought he heard a guy saying Lucy's name a few feet ahead of them. He furrowed his brows, looking up to spot the guard who had shoved his rifle in Lucy's face that morning.
Fire burned through Natsu's veins as he clenched his hands into fists, but he didn't act on his anger. He didn't need Makarov mad at him, especially when his friends were locked up. He needed to visit them, and he didn't think Makarov would let him do that if he was caught yelling at the guard, even if the dick deserved it for scaring Lucy.
Natsu forced himself to turn away, knowing he would lose his temper if he wasn't careful. He had to keep a level head, no matter what. That mindset only got him so far. There was nothing Natsu could do to prepare himself for what he heard the guard say next, his stomach dropping as his feet stopped moving.
"Her scars were fucking disgusting."
Natsu's eyes widened as he turned towards the guard, shock coloring his face as he locked eyes with the guy. However, instead of looking ashamed for what he said, the guard merely cringed as he directed his conversation towards Natsu, speaking as if they weren't talking about another human being.
"You live with her. How'd she get those nasty scars?"
Natsu's blood ran cold, his stomach dropping as his lips parted. He didn't know what he was going to ask, his mind refusing to cooperate as he tried to deny what he just heard. "How... how do you know?"
There was no way that guy knew about her scars. Lucy was always dressed. Yukino wouldn't have told anyone about her scars. Grandeeney hadn't seen them. Lucy wouldn't have told a soul, and he hadn't said anything about her marks to anyone.
Sure she had some on her arms, but he had a sickening feeling that wasn't what he meant.
The air around Natsu turned thin as realization trickled in, piecing together a puzzle he didn't want to see. He could hardly breathe as he muttered the question, hoping with everything he had that he guessed wrong, and that it was all a misunderstanding.
"Did you... see her?" He paused, unsure if the guard would understand what he meant. Of course the guy saw her. It was hard to point his rifle at Lucy without seeing her, but that wasn't what Natsu was asking.
Unfortunately for Natsu, the guard didn't need any further explanation. He understood perfectly, and that only made Natsu's heart sink as the guard nodded. "Well, yeah." He had the audacity to sound casual about it, something that caused the anger in Natsu to rise once again. "We had to make sure she wasn't bit or anything. She had to get processed."
Natsu's world came to a halt at that moment while the word echoed in his head.
Processed.
In other words, stripped and inspected.
Natsu didn't realize he was moving until it was too late, anger fueling his actions as he reached for the guard. It didn't matter that the guy had a loaded rifle on him. Natsu was seeing red, fury coursing through his veins at the thought of some bastard violating his friend by getting her naked.
Natsu grabbed a fist full of the guy's shirt before slamming him against the wall, his voice raising to a scream before he could adjust his volume, too angry to think about what he was doing. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
The guard's eyes went wide as he tried recoiling back, only to realize he had nowhere to go. He looked confused, not knowing how to react. The people he was talking to earlier didn't make a move against Natsu, instead taking a step back so they couldn't get caught in the crossfire.
Natsu pulled at the guy's shirt, ready to thrust him towards the wall again when he was suddenly pulled back, two strong arms wrapping around him to break his hold from the guard. Natsu shouted, his words not making sense to him as he tried kicking, wanting to punish the guard for disrespecting Lucy.
"Let go!" Natsu shouted, angry that he was being held back for the second time that day. He needed to do something, but everyone else seemed hellbent on controlling everything about Natsu's life. His heart beat so hard he thought it might burst, but that wasn't enough to stop him from fighting.
"Calm down!" a guy shouted, the voice not belonging to Gray. Natsu thought it was his friend who held him back, but one quick glance over his shoulder let Natsu know that wasn't the case.
He was met with the sight of wild, maroon hair. Natsu didn't need to look at the face to know he was being held back by Erik, the guy's strength allowing him to handle Natsu with relative ease. That only made Natsu angrier, wanting everyone to butt out so he could do something right for once.
He wasn't able to protect Lucy earlier.
And now he wasn't even able to give the guy who hurt her some well-deserved revenge.
"Natsu! Listen to him!" Gray yelled, but it fell on deaf ears. Natsu was glaring at the guard, ready for the first chance he got to spring forward and finish the job.
"This sick bastard hurt my friend!" Natsu shouted, growling when the guard looked stunned, as if he didn't think what he said earlier was harmful to Lucy. How could it not be? He had called a part of her disgusting. It wasn't her fault she was covered in those scars. She was lucky to be alive, but all that guy cared about was her marks.
"I heard," Erik said, tightening his grip on Natsu. He had a solid hold. No amount of thrashing Natsu did helped free him. The only thing that broke through was what Erik said next, making Natsu still for a moment. "I heard, but it's not worth getting kicked out over him."
For a brief moment, Natsu thought about what it would be like living off base, away from Fairy Tail. He would never get a peaceful night of sleep, always worried a zombie would find him while he was passed out. He wouldn't have a steady supply of food, not unless he got lucky. He wouldn't have the same security he received living on base, but at the same time, he didn't want to trust his life and the lives of those around him to slimy bastards who spoke so poorly about a woman in pain, who had clearly been put through more than she deserved.
Natsu felt sick to his stomach as he swallowed his anger, letting it simmer under the surface for the moment. His voice was laced with malice as he growled at the guard, hoping it wasn't too late. "Who did you tell?!"
"Tell what?" he asked, flinching when Natsu tried to lunge forward, only to be stopped by Erik once again.
Natsu shook, barely controlling himself. He was prepared to stomp on Erik's foot if that was what it took to get free, all so he could hurt the guard. "Lucy!" Natsu seethed, ignoring everything else but the guy in front of him. "Who did you tell about Lucy?"
After taking a moment to get his bearings, the guard straightened up, his voice less confident than before when he gave his answer. "A few people. Bickslow, Azuma, Simon, Orga—"
Natsu's hearing started fading as he named off more guards. His head felt light as he thought about how many people those guards could have told, wondering if it was too late to stop the word from spreading. It was a foolish thought. With as small as the base was, word traveled like wildfire. He wouldn't be surprised if half the base knew already.
Natsu went slack in Erik's arms when a thought crossed his mind, his chest constricting as the memory of finding that large scar on Lucy's stomach replayed in his head. 'People know about her...' He didn't know what to think, only knowing one thing.
'Lucy's going to be upset when she finds out.'
He couldn't imagine how humiliating that would be, even if it wasn't her fault. She had no control over what happened to her, and it wasn't that guard's, or anyone else's place to tell people about what was beneath Lucy's clothes.
"Get the fuck out of here," Erik commanded, his tone leaving no room for questions. "All of you, now."
Natsu closed his eyes as the group left, his rage boiling. He didn't know what he was going to do when Erik let him go, but he hoped it wasn't something that would get him kicked out of Fairy Tail. His friends were there, and he had left multiple notes around the surrounding neighborhoods for Igneel to find him there. If he left, he would be losing everything. He didn't want to admit it, but he didn't know if getting revenge for Lucy was worth it.
Natsu's body relaxed when he could no longer hear the footsteps of the retreating group, but the relief was short-lived. Once he opened his eyes, he remembered the situation wasn't over. If anything, it was just beginning.
The knots in his stomach came back, tugging and pulling in every direction, not allowing him a moment to breathe. He needed to go sit down, or get some water. Everything inside him screamed to take a break from the constant stress, but he couldn't afford a break, needing to move on to help his roommates.
"If I let you go, are you gonna behave?"
Natsu gritted his teeth, hating the way Erik spoke to him like he was a child throwing a tantrum. He felt justified in what he did, even if no one else felt the same. That guard deserved a whole lot more, only getting away because someone yet again stood in Natsu's way.
Instead of fighting, Natsu swallowed his pride. It didn't hold much value anyway, not when everything seemed to be falling apart around him. He had finally gotten to a good place in their fucked up world, and then Lucy was taken, followed by Happy moments later. It wasn't fair, but there was nothing Natsu could do about it without risking his place at Fairy Tail.
"Yes," Natsu mumbled, not surprised when Erik didn't immediately let him go. His knees almost buckled when those arms started loosening, but he held strong, not wanting to look weak in front of anyone.
Once he was released, Natsu turned, heading in the opposite direction of the guard and his friends. He knew better than to go after him now, no matter how badly he wanted to drive his fist into the guy's face. One of the rules at Fairy Tail was no unnecessary violence, and Natsu had already teetered that line a few times. He didn't know how long it would be until his luck ran out and Makarov finally gave him that punishment he had been threatening.
Natsu noticed the two sets of footsteps following him, but he paid them no mind, assuming Gray was going to see how he was doing while Erik was making sure Natsu kept his word. He didn't care either way, ready to lock both of them out once he reached his room.
That plan fell through once Natsu pulled out his key. Seeing the keyhole reminded him that someone was in his room earlier that day, taking his cat away with no warning. His stomach twisted as he unlocked his door, angry at himself when he automatically looked for Happy, only to remember once again that he was gone.
'It's not fucking fair!'
Natsu cursed under his breath as he slammed the door shut, not caring who he disturbed. He didn't think twice as he approached the desk, kicking the side as hard as he could, leaving behind a large dent in the metal. It wasn't enough to sate him, ready to knock over something to get the bad feelings out.
'What the fuck is happening?!'
He tried keeping himself composed when he was around others, but he didn't care anymore. Everything was slipping out of his control, and nothing made him feel better. He looked around the empty room, finding it too spacious without his roommates.
Natsu couldn't rid himself of the frustration he felt building in his chest. It throbbed, unrelenting as he let himself think back to what that guard did. He couldn't imagine how terrified Lucy had been when a guy saw her naked. He already knew she didn't like when Yukino did it. Being forced by a man was much worse.
'I should've been there to stop it.'
Natsu gripped the edge of his desk, hunching over it as he closed his eyes, trying to sort out his muddled thoughts, only to realize it was no use. He couldn't stop thinking about how scared she had been when they were dragging her away. The guard he confronted in the hall wasn't the only one following Lucy.
'God damn it!'
What if Lucy had been seen by more than just him? What if those three guys that escorted her away saw her without her clothes on? He didn't want to imagine the hurt she would've felt. Hell, he got somewhat embarrassed when Jellal looked over him naked, and Jellal was a friend. Lucy was riddled with issues, and one of those big ones was her scars. He saw the pain in her eyes when her gaze lingered on her skin.
'She's going to be so sad when she finds out people know.'
Natsu's eyes pricked as he sank down to his knees, placing his forehead against the side of the desk, above the new dent. It wasn't fair. He had tried to keep her secret, tried so hard to keep everything together, but it was all for nothing. Lucy and Happy were taken, and her secret was out. He didn't know how long it would take until everyone knew, but he knew it was going to happen. Every minute he stayed in his room was another minute someone had to spread the word.
Natsu's knuckles turned white as he tightened his grip, fighting against the tears threatening to spill. It wasn't okay. What gave that guard the right to tell people about Lucy's scars? They were supposed to trust the guards to protect them and keep them safe, not gossip about the hardships they endured from the messed up world they were in.
Natsu wouldn't blame Lucy if she wanted to leave after finding out. He knew she didn't feel like she belonged, no matter how much he tried convincing her otherwise. He could see it in her eyes, see the distance she was putting between herself and everyone else. The news would surely break her, if the quarantine didn't do that already.
Natsu sucked in a ragged breath as he thought about Lucy that morning, after she was locked up. She hadn't spoken a word about the guard 'processing' her, yet she had a few opportunities to do so. He wondered if she would have ever told him, but it didn't matter now. It was going to be impossible to keep her from finding out everyone knew about her scars.
Natsu swallowed past the lump in his throat, tears sliding down his face despite his efforts to stop them. He didn't understand why the guard had to say such hateful things. Sure, her scars weren't pretty, but they were part of her. She deserved respect just like everyone else. Who was he to cast judgement on her, especially when he didn't know the story behind those scars.
Lucy had suffered through a hell none of them had ever been through, yet she was still doing her best to recover and move on. It was taking a while, but she was trying, and that was what mattered. The guard and everyone else didn't know that, but in reality, it was none of their business what Lucy went through. That was her secret to keep, but that trust was violated by the person meant to keep them safe.
Natsu slowly peeled his fingers off the desk. He kept his eyes closed as he turned, pressing his back against the desk before pulling his knees into his chest. He didn't want to deal with anything. He didn't want to feel so helpless and weak. Everything had happened too fast, overwhelming him beyond what he could handle. How was he supposed to fix things?
He couldn't, and that fact only made him feel worse.
He had lost control. He wasn't able to help Lucy, he wasn't able to help Happy. He couldn't do anything right, and he probably fucked up by attacking that guard, even if he didn't do too much damage. Makarov would probably consider Natsu hostile, then he wouldn't have to worry about what to do. He would be kicked off base, and likely Happy would be released to him, maybe even Lucy.
He didn't want to imagine the three of them taking on the world together. He would be constantly trying to protect the two of them while also defending himself. He didn't want to think about the struggles they would endure, not to mention he didn't really know Lucy. He didn't know if having her by his side was the best fit, especially given her tendency to freak out when he said or did the wrong thing. Being off base wasn't safe for Happy or Lucy, so he needed to be careful, otherwise they might not get a choice.
'Would Lucy stay at Fairy Tail if I was kicked out?' Natsu didn't have time to answer his own question, his eyes snapping open when he heard a sound in front of him.
His wide eyes landed on a pair of shoes, the yellow flats not matching anything Gray or Erik would wear. Natsu looked up, realizing soon enough it wasn't Erik that had followed him earlier.
Natsu opened his mouth, but instead of words coming out, he let out a cross between a whimper and a sob, too emotional to speak. Levy didn't say anything as she bent down, folding her legs under her so she could sit in front of him. Natsu's eyes flitted to her side, seeing Gray a few steps behind. He stood, arms crossed over his bare chest as he looked to the side, clearly not knowing what to do in the situation.
Natsu couldn't blame him. He didn't know what to do either, so he turned to Levy, not bothering to ask when she got there or why. "I—" he started, only to cut himself off when he felt the tightness in his throat. His heart raced as his limbs went numb, but Natsu pulled himself closer, hoping it would give him the slightest bit of comfort
It didn't.
"Natsu?" Levy asked, placing a hand on his knee. He didn't flinch away, needing something to keep him grounded. Everything in his life was spiraling out of control, and the only thing he had left to hang on to was his friends.
However, instead of giving him comforting words like he desperately needed, Levy's next question made his stomach knot up. "What happened to Lucy?"
Natsu tensed, uselessly hoping she didn't mean what he thought she meant. He cleared his throat, feeling the roughness when he managed to talk. "Wh-what?"
He wanted her to say something about the quarantine. While that was still a touchy subject, it was one he could handle in the moment, but of course, that wasn't what she was asking.
"I heard from Freed that Lucy's got some bad scars?"
For what felt like a minute, Natsu stopped thinking. It was almost a blessing, his mind thankful for the break. It didn't last long, thoughts flooding in when he put together what Levy said, realizing Freed wasn't one of the people the guard mentioned. That meant the word was passing already, even reaching some of the higher positions at Fairy Tail.
'How long until Makarov finds out?'
'How long until everyone knows?'
Natsu shook his head, refusing to answer Levy's question. "It's none of your business," he snapped, teeth clenching as he turned his head, avoiding her gaze. He didn't mean to sound rude, but he didn't apologize either. Out of all his friends, Levy should have known not to ask. It wasn't his place to tell Lucy's secrets, even if part of those secrets were floating around the base as they spoke.
Instead of taking offense to his harsh words, Levy only pulled her hand away from him before sighing. "Natsu?"
His jaw tightened, not wanting to hear her soft tone. If he didn't know any better, he would say she was trying to coax a kid to do something they didn't want to do. That made his heart sink, wondering if that was how Lucy felt every time he tried talking to her the same way. Surely she understood where he was coming from? Regardless, he didn't think she appreciated it. He would have to do better in the future.
If there was a future for her.
Natsu closed his eyes, taking a deep breath through his nose to calm himself down. The tears had stopped, but he knew his eyes were still watery, the big ball of emotions in his chest not letting up. "She..." He curled his fingers against his knees, knowing if he didn't have his pants on, his nails would dig into his skin. "She doesn't want people knowing."
Lucy had a right to her privacy, even if some people chose to disrespect that. He wouldn't contribute to it, even if he felt like some people needed to know, like Grandeeney and Makarov.
He thought Levy would drop the subject, but the woman was persistent, giving him a minute before she tried again. "It's obvious someone hurt her."
Natsu tried not to react, but he couldn't help it, flinching when Levy guessed right. He kept his voice firm, not giving in despite the desire to get it off his chest. It wasn't his secret to tell, so he kept it safe. "I'm not gonna talk about what happened to her."
"Nat—"
"Don't," he growled, cutting her off as he glared at her. Natsu narrowed his eyes, no longer feeling bad about being rude. "Wasn't it you who said we can't force Lucy to open up?"
Levy's lips twisted as she paused, gathering her words. "Yes, but you're not Lucy. I just—" She stopped herself, shaking her head. "Never mind." A sigh escaped her parted lips as her shoulders sank. "You're right. It's not my place to pry."
Natsu held her gaze for a minute, his mind telling him it was right for him to stand up against Levy, even if his stomach didn't agree. Levy was his friend, and he knew she didn't have malicious intentions, but that didn't give her a right to Lucy's secrets, especially from someone who wasn't the woman herself.
If anyone was going to tell, it had to be Lucy, but only if and when she was ready.
Levy took a deep breath, taking Natsu out of his thoughts. "I just... I just want her to get better, like you." The sincerity in her voice didn't make him feel any better, but it was a start. "She's been through a lot. I can tell without you saying anything. I just, man... Why am I saying 'just' so much?"
Levy shook her head, getting back on subject. "I won't push anymore, but if you want to talk to anyone, even if it's not about Lucy, I'm here for you." She looked up, meeting Gray's gaze. "I know Gray is too."
Gray nodded without hesitation. "Whatever you need."
Natsu sucked in a shaky breath, wishing he could go back and fix everything. How many times had he wished that? Too many to count. And every time he made that wish, he lost a little hope that everything would ever go back to normal.
He didn't know what to do. He wanted to ask Igneel for guidance, but that thought was enough to break him once again. His tears slid down his face but he didn't bother wiping them. He didn't like it, but he could be vulnerable in front of his friends. They wouldn't look down on him for that.
"I... I need to see Happy."
Levy's eyes widened for a second, as if not expecting that request. She nodded before standing. "Yeah. Of course." She dusted herself off, then took two steps back so she was level with Gray. "Just come get me when you're ready. I'll be in my room."
She looked at Gray, grabbing his arm before tugging. "We should give him a minute alone."
Before giving in, Gray looked over Natsu. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." He sighed, his body slightly turning away. "You can crash in our room if you need to. I know Ultear and Lyon won't mind."
Natsu nodded, but he didn't meet their gazes. "Thanks," he whispered, voice threatening to crack from stress. He just wanted things to go back to normal, or as normal as they could be for the type of world they lived in now.
He waited until he heard the door close behind them before burying his face in his knees, his body shaking as he let himself go through the emotions he had tried so hard to control. Nothing about what was happening was fair, but it didn't matter what he thought. Things were out of his hand.
Natsu swallowed hard, wishing things weren't so damn complicated.
He didn't know how much longer he could deal with everything.
.
.
.
Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Were the emotions believable? It escalated quickly, but Natsu's already been stressing the whole day, so that comment just made him snap. Lucky Erik was there to stop him, otherwise he might've really hurt the guy. Makarov is a patient man, but even he has his limits. I know we didn't get to see Lucy this chapter, but she'll be in the next. Depending on how much I write, the next chapter should be the one with the nalu moment. As long as I don't over type and end up having to split it off, then it should happen, but no guarantees. It's coming though.
Thank you so much for every single favorite and follow! I can't believe there's 700 people following this story! That's amazing! :D Your words of encouragement go a long way, so thank you! Shout out to those incredible people who reviewed last time: EllaFairy, stranger1999, Lodemai04, FlameDragonHime, cOokIe-MOnzTa, Tohka123, Guest, FairyLover01, AztecBrat, TSG1996, naluloverr, Mara fray, Lazygirlabc, Satyrykal, Emoelmo41212, HexMMnMAllynaniacOlivia, Firefly9917, Winterfairy189, XxxNaxxxx, An Amber Pen, Cheeseman9100, ElementalMiko12, sofiesticated, aracelibojorquez2, Screeney, ArtemisRavenTerraFan, Nana, Sam, Valythe, ManderNaner, MeteorWars, llendais, Gigi-San28, Terra of Life, MnMAllyn, Guest, BNAL, Guest, Animeforlife1412, AlycePixi, TheUniqueFangirl, Mystifying-Me(x2), Ashnmarley, sonikastalker, booksandanime17, co0ki3. m0n5ter, Guest, SarahWolfang, guest, ramennoodles-O. o, KitKat2648, ChasingMoonlightFire, DazzTugz, Guest, LoveroftheWord, Drakoa(x2), celestialmagex7, veryinnocentusername(x2), alexmalik15(x2), and LovelyLovelyLove!
Up next, Chapter Twenty-Five: Visitation