Chapter 2

After looking to the north wistfully, Inigo turned to the south and paddled along the shore of Guilder. A faint glow over the land towards the east hinted at the promise of a new day with the approaching sunrise. In the increasing light Inigo looked over the contents of his canoe. His sword he rescued from his house before it was reduced to a pile of ash, some dried food for provisions, a few clothes and a blanket that moved. A blanket that shouldn't have been moving! Inigo slowly reached for his sword and got a firm grip, then pointed it at the offending covering.

"I don't wish to bother you whoever you are, but you don't have a ticket for this trip." No response followed his comment, so with the tip of his sword he carefully hooked the edge of the blanket and flung it aside with a flick of his wrist. A monkey was revealed, who stopped in mid-chew on the dried fruit he had found. As the two stared at each other, the monkey returned to eating the fruit.

"You weren't invited along on this trip, but since you are here we may as well get to know each other. Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Inigo Montoya." The monkey chattered and barked. Inigo decided to continue. "You don't say; it is good to meet you but I do not speak monkey. Do you mind if I call you Bosen? You sound a bit like a man who used to work for me on the Revenge." Inigo paused for a few minutes thinking of his former profession on the waters. A smile came on his face as a thought occurred. "Have you ever been to Somewhere Bosen? It's a small island that lies between Guilder and Florin. It's almost nowhere, but it does provide a nice safe base for a lonely ship to safely spend time for repairs and provisioning. Oddly enough it appears on no maps, and no one seems to know about it except those that have sailed on the Revenge. It isn't far, and I should be able to find a friend there that I'm sure you'll like." Judging his position from the landmarks lit by the morning sun, he turned toward the west and aimed for a small shape on the horizon; Somewhere Island.

With strong steady strokes and a tide that was in his favor, Inigo approached the island while telling Bosen his life story. Before reaching the natural harbor he was able to see the distinctive colors of the stern of the Revenge. He continued until beaching his canoe on the shore, where he waded ashore with Bosen on his shoulder as he walked to the point nearest the Revenge. He waited in plain site until he saw someone on the deck and hailed "Ahoy Revenge, my compliments to the captain!"

The sailor on board shouted back "And just who are you that would complement the scourge of the seas that captains this ship?"

"An old businessman with salt in his blood, and see to it that you deliver the message just that way." The sailor frowned, but disappeared below deck and Inigo continued to wait while he looked over the ship. Much the same as he had left her, although she was sporting some new yardage in the rigging. Shortly another sailor emerged on the deck with plain but neat clothes, long flowing hair, and of a build entirely unlike what you'd expect from a pirate captain. Recognizing the man on shore, the captain smiled and shouted "And what would an old businessman have to discuss with me?"

"I heard you don't have a monkey so I thought I'd sell you one," said Inigo "they come in very handy climbing around the rigging."

"Come aboard sir and welcome to the Revenge. I'll be in my cabin." A few sailors who had come on deck to see what the noise was about snickered; a steely glance from the captain wiped the smiles from their faces as they suddenly remembered it would be better for their health to mind their own business.

Inigo made his way over the long gangplank that led from shore to ship, and with a familiar feel made his way aft to the captain's cabin, pausing only to knock before being bid to enter. Inside he had a feeling that might have been described as déjà vu, except that he had spent nearly three years living in this very cabin as the Dread Pirate Roberts. The fixtures were the same although a few things had changed. Different linens on the bed, brighter rugs on the floor, a newer map on the wall, and what appeared to be some type of wealth chart posted on another wall. Oh, and now there was the small matter that the current resident was a woman!

"Roberts" said the captain.

"Roberta" said the old businessman.

They both broke into smiles and embraced for a few moments. Stepping back, Inigo looked over his former protégé. "You look well Contessa; the monkey suits you." While hugging, Bosen had jumped ship from Inigo to Contessa's shoulder. "If I understand your chart, soon it shall be your turn to retire. Have you picked a replacement yet?"

"No Inigo, I just haven't found the right person yet. It hasn't been easy being the Dread Pirate Roberta; I tend to scare away any prospective replacements. However did you pick me anyway? You always told me that men had held the captaincy of the ship."

"They did until you took over. I don't know why, but when I saw you trying to clear out that tavern in Haypenne I had a strange feeling in my stomach and thought it a sign."

"I wasn't trying to clear out the tavern, I WAS clearing it out. I didn't need your help, and I suspect that feeling in your gut was the old knife wound from Count Rugen." Inigo winced at the thought of the injury that would have felled him if it were not for the drive to avenge his father's murder. "But you're right, I am almost finished building my fortune, although the process has been slowing lately and I've adjusted my goal downward out of discouragement. France and Spain have become more aggressive in their fight against piracy and set a few traps that I barely escaped; even Florin has chased me recently. I've had to be a lot more selective with my raids. How have you been?"

Inigo sat and for some time talked of his life. Although he had picked and trained Contessa Zamora to be the new Dread Pirate, he hadn't revealed much of his younger life to her, instead focusing on skills she would need in her new profession. He included the recent turn of events and his flight from his home to bring her up to date. "I had to flee somewhere, so to Somewhere I fled. I have wealth elsewhere, but it will be difficult to enjoy if I have to keep looking over my shoulder for Humperdinck."

"What can you do? He seems to be a thorn in both our sides, a thorn we could do without." She paused in consideration before continuing. "It would seem WE have a problem, and knowing you I suspect you've already got an idea about what to do."

"I tried discussing it a bit with Bosen but he kept his opinion to himself."

"I won't be afraid to tell you what I think. I'll order some food and you can bounce your ideas off me. Sorry the stove in the galley isn't lit, we'll have to make do with cold cuts."

"That's okay" grinned Inigo, "there's an old pirate saying: 'The Revenge's best dish is served cold'."

Contessa frowned. "That's not how it goes!" she said, her face changing to a smirk as she got the joke.

"Why are you stopping now?" asked the grandfather as the binder closed. "That couldn't be the end of the story; there's no resolution and it left off with a cliffhanger. There's a lot more pages in there!"

"I have to go now Grandpa" said the grandson. "You've got therapy in five minutes and I have to get to class at 3:30. It sounds like you're interested in the story at least; maybe next time we'll need a few more snacks." The fruit cup and crackers were gone as the grandfather had eaten them without even noticing while being wrapped up in the story.

"You'll read me more of it? Tomorrow? Can you sneak in a couple of your mom's cookies too?"

The grandson bent down and hugged his grandfather. "Tomorrow I'll have to come after your morning therapy. Hurry up and get done with it and we'll get some more story read; maybe we'll encounter Humperdinck next. Can't guarantee the cookies but we'll see. Love you, see you tomorrow."

As he passed by the nurses' station on the way out, he saw the same nurse he had talked to on the way in. "I'll be back tomorrow; I think I cheered him up a bit" he said with a smile as he disappeared around the corner.

The following day the grandson returned and made his way to the nurses' station. He recognized the woman behind the desk as the same one he had spoken to the day before. She in turn recognized him and smiled. She motioned him over and said "Whatever you did sure seemed to work. He's eating his food and was actually eager to get his physical therapy done this morning. He should be back in his room by now." The grandson thanked her and walked to the room, briefly knocking before entering.

"There's my grandson! Did you bring the story?" The binder was held up for inspection. "Did you manage the cookies?" he added in a lowered voice. A bag appeared out of his coat pocket and four cookies emerged; two for the grandfather and two for the grandson. "That's perfect. I need something to get me to lunch; they never give you enough food around here. Now give me a hug and let's get on with that story." Hugs were exchanged, the grandson sat and the story continued.