Chapter 9

After outrunning the pursuit of the Zephyr, the Revenge executed a wide sweep to the east and made its way to the islands of Inti. There it skirted the islands in a dash along the coast past Haypenne. After nightfall they managed to make it all the way to Guilder and slipped into the capitol of Guilderton. The ship eased into port and silently docked. In the dark a large group of people disembarked and under cover of night entered a carriage that then drove up the seaside slope to the castle. Another group walked off the ship and made their way on foot through town. The Revenge then untied its mooring and eased back out of the port to head south again.

The carriage pulled up to the castle's courtyard front gate, paused, and then was admitted into the courtyard. It continued onward to the castle's front entrance where it stopped. The passengers left the carriage and entered the castle where they were met in the foyer by the Captain of the Guard, Lon. By the light of a night torch the figures of Westley, Humperdinck, Inigo and Fezzik could be seen. In a low voice Lon explained that only he and the night guards were awake at this hour; however, rooms had been prepared in advance and there the guests could rest for the remainder of the night.

His anger now long tempered by exhaustion, Humperdinck commented "I suppose while the guests go to their rooms I shall be put in the dungeon with any other prisoners you're holding." As they continued to walk down a long hallway, Lon answered "The castle does have a dungeon, but I'm afraid it can't be used. It's a storeroom for many of the decorations for the annual Kingdom Day and, quite frankly, is stuffed completely full. Here are your quarters, gentlemen" he said opening a door into a room where several bunks and a washing area could be seen in the low light. One of the bunks had a figure sound asleep; fortunately he wasn't snoring. Humperdinck started in and Lon held up his hand and said "If your Majesty would, please follow me to the room you'll be staying in."

Humperdinck reluctantly followed Lon up a staircase and to the back of the castle. "I suppose this is my cage?" asked the king as Lon swung open the door. They both entered and Lon turned up the wick on a lantern. The room was very well furnished and looked quite comfortable. It was a room fit for, to put it bluntly, a king. It wasn't quite up to the luxury of Humperdinck's own room, but it was better than most rooms he'd seen in his life. "Your guest rooms are more luxurious than Florin's" said Humperdinck as he looked into a small room off to one side.

"Oh, this isn't a guest room. King Stephen has given his room to you for the duration of your stay. He's staying downstairs in the bunkroom we just left. Over there is a portrait of the royal family made some years ago over the fireplace mantle. If your Majesty requires anything, notify the guard outside and arrangements will be made. At this hour all we can offer are some fresh fruits, but they are quite good. I bid you a good night sire."

"The king of Solarus has the same name as the king of Guilder?"

"Sire, you are IN Guilder; there is no such country as Solarus. In the morning all shall be made known to you." Lon walked out the door and closed it behind him.

Humperdinck looked around the room again and noticed a note lying on the bed. He picked it up and read:

Humperdinck, the situation is less than
perfect but we shall strive to make your
stay as comfortable as possible while you
are inconvenienced. Consider my home
yours, have a restful night and we shall
meet in the morning.
-Stephen.

He looked up at the painting of the royal family on the wall. A middle-aged king and queen stood proudly with their two children, a girl about eight and a boy who was only a few months old. Although the expressions on the people looked serious, Humperdinck imagined a possible hint of a smirk on the face of the king. At least it's a nicely gilded cage, he thought.

Humperdinck startled awake the next morning sitting in bed, fully clothed. He had tried to stay awake through the night, sure that men would burst into the room and take him elsewhere. At some point before sunrise he had finally succumbed to sleep after being exhausted from the previous day's events. Before the cobwebs had a chance to leave his head, a soft knock came upon the door. "Your Majesty?" came a muffled voice on the other side.

"Enter."

Lon came in looking only slightly worse for wear. He obviously had a late night of it as well. "King Stephen bids you a good day, and asks to dine with you in your room for lunch. He feels that a private meeting would be best."

"Tell your king that...wait, what time is it?" The light coming in through the windows was rather bright.

"Nearly an hour until midday" answered Lon. "I tried knocking at breakfast but you were sound asleep so he postponed the meeting. Will your Majesty be accepting the invitation?"

Humperdinck thought for a moment. He hadn't eaten much of anything since he'd left Florin; he didn't trust the food to be free of any poison. But he had to eat sometime; he could at least eat the same food Stephen ate and hope for the best. "Tell your king I accept. Allow me an hour to freshen up."

"Very good your Majesty, I shall inform the king. If you would like some fresh clothes you can browse the wardrobe for anything that fits. In one hour then" said Lon as he departed and closed the door behind him.

Later, both kings sat at a table in a sunny portion of the room, Humperdinck on one side and the much older Stephen at the other. "I understand that you feel violated" said Stephen as he buttered a bread roll. He broke it in half and handed one part to Humperdinck while he ate the other. Humperdinck had established that he would eat no food that King Stephen did not also eat. Stephen shrugged at the request, but agreed and had split the meal's contents as they talked. "But as wrong as kidnapping may be, you yourself arranged the same for Buttercup some time ago. As for your abductors lying, once again you did the same to her before. Don't forget, I've got the story directly from them after their escape from your country. I consider them friends of my family and my kingdom."

"Well yes, but that was different. I was trying to go to war before you attacked me."

Stephen choked on his bread and sputtered as he broke out laughing. "Attack you? Why would I ever do such a thing?"

"Who knows? Power, land, resources, all the things that a kingdom needs to grow. You were planning to do it and I simply tried to start the fight first to catch you before you were on the offensive."

"The only offense I have is at your suggestion. Guilder may not be quite as well off as Florin, but we want for nothing and have no reason to attack anyone. And just what would I attack you with?"

"I have my reports. You have armies marching through your streets with the soldiers carrying weapons. You have made alliances with Escudo to my south, and Haypenne and Inti south of Guilder. Those 'friends' of yours that escaped my country have been stirring up trouble by raising sentiment against Florin. Even your ship that kidnapped me is a formidable weapon that is better than any ship I have." This last comment hurt slightly to say but was the truth.

"I can see we have to educate you on just how the world works outside Florin. Tomorrow I'll take you on a tour of our city when I go on my annual 'Among the People' day. In the meantime, I thank you for your company during our meal. I have matters to attend to, but in the meantime Lon will take you to our activity room. You have a lesson scheduled there I believe." Stephen left Humperdinck looking puzzled as he left the room.

Lon entered immediately after. "If your Majesty would follow me, we are expected elsewhere in the castle." Humperdinck drank his last bit of juice and joined Lon as he led the way to the activity room. When they entered they saw Westley waiting for him, doing a few stretching exercises in the meantime.

Humperdinck recognized Westley and said "I suppose I now perish at the hands of the best swordsman in Guilder?" Westley tossed Humperdinck a sword and motioned for him to stand at a spot several paces away. "Neither of us is going to perish today, and for your information I'm not even the best swordsman in the castle right now."

"I don't see why we have to do this. What's the point?" asked Humperdinck who certainly did not intend the pun.

"Because, your Highness, despite any possible ill will I hold for you, when it comes down to it you are royalty and the leader of Florin. While you are our guest we shall treat you with every courtesy possible under the circumstances. And that includes several lessons in, shall we say, personal improvement. Right now we'll cover self-defense. Prepare to duel."

Westley came to attention with his sword. Humperdinck did likewise. "Now I shall give YOU the lesson" the king said as he lunged. After a quick parry from Westley Humperdinck's sword lay on the ground. "If his Majesty is through playing around we can begin the lesson. Pick up your sword and we'll start."

Westley ran Humperdinck through the basics of swordplay. Although Westley was much better than the king, Humperdinck was a fairly good fighter. Once they had settled into dueling, Westley noted that Humperdinck became less confident and much more defensive in his style. Westley stopped the lesson.

"Your Majesty's ability with the sword is good. Your technique is solid and your mechanics are sound. To become a better fighter you must overcome your cowardice and push the attack." Humperdinck's face reddened at the mention of cowardice but Westley continued. "You did not ask to be born a prince. That is not your fault. You did not ask to be kidnapped. Perhaps that is not your fault either. But know this Majesty; life involves risk, and some day we all shall die. If it is important enough to fight, it is important enough to win. You must fight like a king! Let's work on that attitude. Can you beat me in a duel?"

"No. You are a much better fighter than me."

"Truly you speak. But when you fight someone, you can't let them have the advantage of knowing that. You must remove it to make the odds more even. You must counter any boast your opponent makes. This will not only deflate his ego somewhat, it may also distract him which is another advantage for you. Now make a boast and I shall counter it."

Humperdinck thought. "I'm going to turn you into shish kabob." Westley countered with "I must be the beef and you're...the chicken!"

Humperdinck blinked. "Did you just call me a chicken?"

"Yes I did. Don't you see? Not only did I turn your boast around, I insulted you as well. You even hesitated as you considered my chicken analogy."

"Interesting. You have permission to insult me further."

"I didn't ask and don't need your permission. Remember, any insults are for educational purposes only and do not necessarily reflect the views of myself or those of the royal family. Now continue please."

"Let's try...I'm the world's best swordsman." Westley retorted "You're ranking is sure to drop now that you're actually fighting someone." Humperdinck smiled slightly as they continued the lesson.

"You can't beat me" - "I don't plan on beating you, just killing you."

"I'm your greatest nightmare" - "Yes, your face is rather hideous. Now let's do it while fighting." With that they continued the dueling, with Westley dialing back his swordplay to more closely match Humperdinck. Boasts and insults combined with striking steel to create quite the symphony.

"You don't stand a chance against me" - "As a buffoon? I agree!"

"I can defeat you with my eyes closed" - "Dreaming IS the only way you'll see that."

"Prepare to die" - "I suppose it's possible you could bore me to death."

"Now I am the master" - "What you need to master is your mediocrity."

"No man can defeat me" - "Now that you're not fighting children you'll learn otherwise."

"My awesomeness overwhelms you" - "No, but your odor does."

"I don't see how you can beat me" - "Obviously you haven't looked in my direction."

"My grandmother fights better than you" - "Everyone fights better than you."

"But what if I can't think of any way to turn the boast around?" asked Humperdinck as he stopped his fighting.

"You could try complimenting them; that may slow them down but it might also boost their ego. Or you could claim their boots are untied, but that's rather unsportsmanlike. Say something nonsensical and really confuse them. Just remember that your body can't win if your mind has already given up. I think that's enough for now; just think about what we've covered."

Humperdinck, in spite of himself, was beginning to admire Westley. Lon, who had been making mental notes of the lesson himself, stepped forward. "What would your Majesty care to do now? You have a few hours before dinner and bed; perhaps you would care to stroll through the gardens, tour the castle, relax in your room, or visit our reading room."

"Does the reading room have a history of Guilder?"

"Of a sort. Our kings have traditionally kept a diary of their activities in the kingdom. A court historian supplements the diaries with notes when needed."

"Then I would like that very much. Lead the way Lon. Uh, please."