Chapter 11

Humperdinck was in the reading room after dinner reviewing old journals of Guilder, finding it not unlike the history of his own kingdom. As Stephen had said, they had developed good relationships with the kingdoms surrounding Florin since before Stephen was even born. He was just about to start the most recent journal available, one that covered up until about a year ago, when the silence of the room was gently disturbed by the soft footfalls of Buttercup. He bolted upright, grabbed a few journals and made excuses that he was just leaving.

"No, please stay a few moments longer" Buttercup asked, "I would like to speak with you."

Humperdinck paused and suddenly felt rather sick. Nevertheless he assented with a "If you'd like" and waved towards the chair he had been using. As Buttercup sat in the offered chair he pulled up another, at a safe distance several feet away and slid slowly into it. Ever since he had come here he had been dreading that this meeting might occur and wished he could run away. But that is what a coward would do and he fought the urge to both run and soil his trousers.

"Let me start by saying that I know what you planned to do after our marriage. It won't be surprising to hear that I'm glad it didn't work out for you." She smiled at the little joke.

Humperdinck smiled weakly too. Not so much because of the humor but rather because of nerves and intestinal chaos.

"But what is important for me to say is this: I was wrong for agreeing to the marriage in the first place. I didn't love you, and the fact that you didn't love me is no excuse for my behavior. For that I apologize."

Humperdinck blinked. He wasn't expected an apology. Of course he wasn't expecting to actually stay in the room either.

"Also, I called you a coward to your face more than once. No matter how true it may have been at the time, it was done in anger and with the sole intent of hurting you. I, who was going to take my own life rather than stand for myself, am in no position to call anyone a coward."

Now he was getting a little dizzy from the turn of the conversation. "No no my lady, you've no need to apologize. My actions were reprehensible and taking a look at my life shows me for the coward I am." He bowed his head and continued in a much subdued voice. "Perhaps it is for the best that I've been...uh...kidnapped."

Buttercup rose, walked over to Humperdinck and took his hand from his lap. He looked up into her eyes. "NO ONE should ever go through being kidnapped, believe me I know" she said. "But with grace and wisdom and good fortune we can find ourselves on the other side of it a new person. Don't you agree dear husband?"

Westley stepped out from the doorway. "I agree. I think my wife is much improved over the old version." She threw him a look of mock scorn. "As for your Majesty, that's up to you. Since you failed at killing me for good, I consider us even at this point." Buttercup walked over to Westley, turned and curtsied to Humperdinck. "Goodnight Sire, we are leaving tonight to visit my family and shall miss your day among the Guilder people" she said softly as she and Westley left arm in arm.

Humperdinck stared after them. She really would make a wonderful queen for somebody, he thought. He took the journals he had gathered and headed back to his bedroom.

The next morning Humperdinck awoke, earlier than the day before. Not worrying about being murdered in the middle of the night certainly helped; one could actually spend time reading rather than being on watch, and he took advantage of the difference.

The most recent journal that had been available only covered up to about a year ago, but was the most interesting of all. Not only did it describe the rescue of Buttercup, but also an abbreviated history of the Dread Pirate Roberts in the guises of Westley and Inigo. But even those entries weren't the most interesting.

It would seem that King Stephen, many years before, had visited Florin with his own family and had become friends with Humperdinck's father. The entries during that period described meeting his mother, himself and his younger brother. Later entries however, told of how Florin's king had lost his youngest son and, in a fugue of overprotectiveness, became more and more isolated until he even stopped answering Stephen's letters. Humperdinck remembered well when his father forbid him to ever explore outside the castle walls again after his brother's loss, and to only be accompanied by adult protectors when he did travel away. His eyes had misted reminiscing about his younger days and he had fallen asleep that night reliving old days.

However, those days were past and the joys of carefree childhood were gone. He carefully put the journals aside and went about washing and dressing. Although the clothes didn't fit perfectly, he found some that were a good match for him. As he was finishing getting dressed, there was a soft knock on the door and a deep voice asked if he could come in. Humperdinck bid the voice to enter, and in walked the largest man he had ever seen, carrying a bag. Behind him entered the largest woman he had ever seen, also carrying a bag.

"We've never met officially" said Humperdinck, "but my guess is you would be Fezzik and Greta from Haypenne."

"Majesty" they both replied with a bow. Fezzik went on. "We have something to give back to you. When the time comes for you to return to your country, you should be comfortable in your adornment." Fezzik opened his bag and withdrew Humperdinck's crown, which he handed to him after wiping off an imaginary piece of lint. "I noticed on the ship that it didn't fit very well, and since I was able to salvage a few of my blacksmithing tools back home I resized it."

Humperdinck placed it atop his head, and then moved his head in different directions quickly to test the fit. It held snugly without wanting to drop over his face or slide over an ear as before. Fezzik cleared his throat.

"Uneasy rests the crown of state,
Upon the heads of kings.
A heavy burden atop his pate,
For responsibilities it brings.

The strength of support to share the load,
The love of friends 'tis a great prize.
While voyaging down life's long road,
Don't let the crown cover your eyes!"

Before Humperdinck could respond, Greta stepped forward. "This is for you as well." She opened her bad and brought out Humperdinck's boots he had worn the day of his kidnapping, handing them to him. "I've mended the tear in the sole that you got onboard the Revenge, and I noticed the seams were starting to pull apart on the ball of your foot, so I reworked the leather to give you a little more room. As you get older your foot can get wider, and your footwear should take that into account."

With practiced grace Humperdinck slipped his feet into the boots and quickly laced them tight. He stood up and walked around in a circle and bounced up and down a few times. He smiled at the comfortable fit of the boots. Greta said "Um..." to get his attention. Fezzik whispered "In many..." to which Greta retorted "I know how my own poem starts" and continued.

"In many years what halls you've trod,
With these boots your feet were shod;
The following advice is no great mystery,
Consider the steps you leave through history."

Fezzik and Greta bowed again. Fezzik spoke "We apologize for the kidnapping even if you did burn down our shop; a wrong doesn't always right another wrong. But as a group we decided that you wouldn't meet with us voluntarily."

"No, you're right about that. But please realize that I did what I did for the defense of my kingdom. I'm only now beginning to find out that perhaps all is not as I've been told these many years. And in that light I am the one who should apologize for the destruction I've caused in your lives. There is one more gentleman whom I've got to apologize to; I believe his name is Inigo?"

"Yes, you did have his house burned down. He is in the castle somewhere; you'll probably meet him later. Although in a way you've already met; he was Captain D'Vough and the ship we brought you on was really the Revenge, not the Intrepid. In the meantime we'll be on our way; I believe Stephen is going to take you out today and he'll probably have a meal with you before doing so. Good day, Sire." With that the two departed, leaving Humperdinck to ruminate on the exchange. He looked at the crest painted on the crown and particularly the question mark portion of it. Just what did he really know about the affairs that went on outside his castle? And for that matter, did he even know what was going on inside of it? No matter, he was going to learn firsthand about Guilder today.