Chapter 13

"So Humperdinck," asked Stephen later that evening "I trust your experiences today were probably a bit different than your life in Florin. Tell Ruby how you did. Or perhaps I should say tell her how George did today."

"George?" asked Ruby.

"I couldn't just call him 'Humperdinck'; people may not know what he looks like here, but the name would be a big giveaway."

"I doubt that she is really interested in my misadventures" said Humperdinck. "I was in over my head with just about everything I tried."

"Oh come now 'George'," begged Ruby "all I ever hear about from my father is how he's getting too old for real work and how glad he is that all he has to do is rule the kingdom. So, when Garnet and I last saw you, you and my father were walking down to the Rusty Barnacle Tavern."

"I suppose that was my last moment of innocence. I probably would have had a much easier day if I had just stayed with you and your brother. Well..."

...

"Our first stop today will be the Rusty Barnacle Tavern" declared Stephen. "Many a visitor has come to our kingdom, and sooner rather than later most end up visiting the Barnacle. It's right off the docks, on the main street, and right now has an open-door policy."

"You mean they serve anyone?"

"No, they refuse the really bad-tempered people. It just means that the front door hasn't been replaced after it was broken last week in a fight. Here we are - follow me and I'll introduce you to the owner." They both entered the tavern, where Humperdinck had to pause as his eyes grew accustomed to the lighting in the much darker interior. Few windows allowed the light from outside in, and lanterns fought hand-to-hand combat with the darkness with no clear indication which would win. The light was winning for now...barely. Stephen waved at a few patrons who returned the gesture, and made his way to the back kitchen area.

"Nick! I've got a shadow with me for my day. He's new to the kingdom, an old family friend. George, this is Nick; owner, cook, bartender and janitor of the Barnacle."

"Glad to meet you George" said Nick, pumping Humperdinck's hand furiously. "Although you could have picked a better day to visit his Majesty!" Nick howled with laughter, so much that he had to lean against a wall for support. Stephen laughed too, and even Humperdinck smiled at the irony of the comment. "That was a good one," Nick went on, wiping a tear from his eye "sorry about that Sire. I couldn't resist. You know where the aprons are, the Vagabond crew should be in any time now."

Stephen led Humperdinck to a cupboard against the wall and pulled out two aprons, giving one to Humperdinck and keeping one for himself. "Put this on before we start." As he spoke he pulled the apron over his head and started to tie it.

"Before we start what? And what is the Vagabond?"

"The Vagabond is a regular trading ship that will soon be sending her crew here, and we are now officially part of the tavern staff for the next hour. You see, it is not just the people of a country that serve the king; when you look at it, the king serves the people too albeit in a leadership role. But symbolically, serving customers in a tavern is a remarkable way to embrace the responsibility of serving a people as king. Come on, it will be fun..."

...

"Was it fun?" asked Ruby with a twinkle in her eye.

"That depends on your definition of fun. I was yelled at, cursed, stepped on, bumped, and one customer even threw up on me."

Ruby giggled. "So you fit right in with the regular servers. No doubt you met some of the best people Guilder has to offer." A laugh escaped her lips.

"Lost drunken men who didn't know where they were and no longer cared. Yes, I do believe I've had the pleasure now. That guy who threw up on me was quite the sot."

"That sot," Stephen interjected soberly "in case you didn't notice, was missing an arm. He lost it saving a man who fell between the docks and a ship two years ago. Anyone who shows that kind of bravery deserves a little more leeway in my book."

Humperdinck paused for thought. "Well said; I didn't notice his injury and certainly would never begrudge leniency for anyone who performed such a heroic action. What of that other man that was passed out in the corner, the one with the lightning bolt tattoo on his arm. Is he a hero too?"

Stephen looked at Ruby and nodded. She answered "Hardly. He's just your spy from Florin on his usual mid-morning binge. He usually wakes up just after lunch to go out and report on all the history-making events in Guilder. If we ever get around to having any that is." She guffawed at her own remark.

"One of our spies? This is embarrassing and, I must say, reflects poorly on Florin" Humperdinck said as he reddened slightly.

"What, that you have to resort to spies to find out what is happening or that they are too much into their cups? Don't be too hard on him either; Nathan Samual Allen really doesn't have that much to report on, but every week he finishes his report, marks it "NSA" and gives it to a courier to head back to Florin. He has to report SOMETHING; if there is absolutely nothing to report he might be recalled back to Florin and have to leave his family" Stephen explained.

"He has a family here?"

"Sure, he has his wife Martha and three kids. Well, two kids and one on the way; Martha's due in about a month or so. If it's a boy they are naming him Stephen" he bragged. "But I digress. After having fun over at the Barnacle, our next stop was at the Sarah Leah shop."

"Yes," continued Humperdinck "he explained on our way that after spending an hour learning how some people earn their daily bread, that it was time to learn how that bread is made. I have to say of all the places I went today it smelled the best by far." Actually he thought that Ruby was the best smelling thing he encountered today, but that didn't count so he didn't mention it. "Did you know that bread starts out as a kind of powder?"

Ruby rolled her eyes. "It's called flour. I think maybe you were the only one around here who DIDN'T know that. Didn't you ever go into the castle kitchen back home?"

"No, it was off limits. Too many chances to get underfoot of the people working there. And after working in that shop for an hour I can see why children would get in the way. I ended up covered in white powd...um flour, my fingers are sore from needling the dough..."

"Kneading the dough..." corrected Stephen.

"...kneading the dough, and I think I got a burn on my arm. Making food is a lot of work."

"Did you try to eat any of the bread you made? Or were customers using them as fenceposts?" teased Ruby.

Humperdinck allowed himself a small amount of pride. "Except for the first batch that I didn't add enough yeast, my bread was as good as any in the shop." Stephen nodded agreement.

"Good. But how did it taste?"

Humperdinck smiled. "I think it was the best bread that I have ever eaten in my entire life." His nostrils flared and his mouth watered at the memory.

"You'd be surprised how much work it is to get the flour" said Ruby.

"Actually I do, but that came later. For our next experience I joined the army."

Ruby looked confused. "Army? Guilder doesn't have any army, at least not one in peacetime."

Stephen explained. "No, we don't really. That's what Nathan calls the Guard Against Rubbish patrol in his reports back to Florin. We were honorary guards today; our arms were our weapons of mess destruction: rakes, shovels and such. I started with the broom while Humperdinck got the rubbish pail. We joined our fellow Guilder guards and marched through the streets cleaning up trash, cobwebs and any animal leavings. We even learned their marching song."

Ruby's eyes got wide. She grabbed Humperdinck's hands. "Oh, PLEASE sing it for me! I've heard it many times, but I simply must hear it from both of you." Stephen rolled his eyes and pretended a groan but got to his feet and cleared his throat. Humperdinck, realizing that misery loves company, reluctantly stood and joined in. Together they sang:

Over hill, over dale,
We sweep the streets without fail
As the Rubbish Patrol strolls along.

Up and down, near and far
Don't forget behind the bar
As the Rubbish Patrol strolls along.

For it's Hi! Hi! Hee!
Guilder's mighty sweeps are we,
Shout out your numbers loud and strong

(Two! Three! Four!)

For where e'er we go
You will always know
The Rubbish Patrol strolls along.

Ruby applauded enthusiastically and both men bowed and then saluted each other while grinning before sitting again. "I'm impressed. Perhaps you should try performing as minstrels sometime."

"I think my career began and ended today," said Humperdinck, "but I have to admit I felt a certain espirit de coups with the guards. That and a cough that lasted for a half hour afterward from all the dust."

"Did you find out about where flour comes from after your stint in the army?" Ruby asked.

"Yes, your father took me backwards through the process. I watched wheat being ground into flour at a mill on the river. But we didn't stay there because I got to find out where the wheat came from. I've only ridden by farms on horseback or by carriage in the past. I've never stopped except one time to talk to a girl." He of course meant Buttercup but he didn't need to explain. "I think I've now experienced the hardest physical work in a kingdom. We worked in several fields, spread vile animal excrement in soil and mixed it before adding seed. The only saving grace was that my sense of smell was gone from all the dust cleaning the streets; otherwise I don't think I could have made it. And it seemed that no matter how heavy something was, the next thing you had to carry was even heavier. I shall never look at food the same way again nor any farm that I pass. After that experience it was a welcome chance to go to the river and bathe; I feared I wouldn't come clean but everything seems to have come off. I do seem to have a large bump on my hands that might be some sort of reaction to the seed on the farm." He showed her his palm.

"That's a blister. You get them when you're not used to working with your hands. It isn't fatal and will heal. Was that your last job?" Ruby said. "I doubt you'd do much after getting all cleaned up."

"No, there was one more experience. It was the hardest of all." Humperdinck fell silent and went no further. Ruby wondered what could have been so difficult after all the other experiences he had endured that day.

"After we washed up we went by Brother Timothy's" Stephen explained to Ruby.

Brother Timothy was a local clergyman who not only ministered to the people's spiritual needs, but also ran a clinic of sorts. Part confessor, counselor, physician, philosophizer and teacher he did his best to help those in the town with the problems that life threw at them. His was a place where everyone was welcome to stay, providing there was room, for as long as needed.

Stephen had taken Humperdinck there last without much explanation, not so much to work as to observe another part of life in the city. However, any thought of sneaking in quietly was quickly thwarted when Timothy hailed the king as soon as he entered the building. A dozen or so of the people inside thronged around the king, greeting him and wishing him well. He seemed to know a few; others were new and he introduced himself along with his old friend 'George' again.

Another dozen or so didn't join the throng. They were laid up in beds with various afflictions. Stephen visited each in turn, kneeling beside and asking questions or sharing a kind word. Humperdinck watched in wonder as all but two anticipated his arrival, and beamed after he moved on to the next person. The other two were unresponsive to any interaction and just lay there. Stephen still knelt, laid a hand on them and spoke softly as though they could hear. He then sat down for a few minutes with Timothy and discussed successes, failures and needs. As they left both men shook hands. Timothy stared at Humperdinck and as he shook his hand searched Humperdinck's face with studied eyes. "I don't know where or how, but someday you shall be a great leader."

As they left to return to the castle, Humperdinck asked if Timothy was a fortune teller as well. "No, that's one of the few hats he doesn't wear" replied Stephen. "But sometimes he makes uncanny predictions. Let's get back to the castle and tell Ruby our adventures."

...

"Sounds like that last assignment shook you up" said Ruby. Her voice was missing the edge from earlier and a bit of concern was creeping in. "Did what Brother Timothy tell you bother you?"

Humperdinck raised his head from the bowed position it had assumed. An odd look covered it, almost as a dark cloud over a landscape. "No, what he said didn't bother me; I hardly even noticed it. What I want to know is," he said as he turned to Stephen, "what did you do to those people there? I watched while you were visiting. You didn't give them medicine and you didn't change any bandages, yet nearly each one seemed a bit better after you passed. How? They seemed so…miserable when we first walked in, it was almost unbearable."

"A king is a symbol. I may know some of their names, and they know who I am, but I really don't know any of them that well. But I am a symbol that their country cares for them, and believe it or not I really do. What I gave them is hope; hope that they may recover. We all know there are some illnesses or injuries that will ultimately be too much to avoid death, but who can say what can happen if a person believes they will get better? Ours may not be a physically demanding job, but it is no less mentally demanding. If you want the people to support you, REALLY support you, then you must return the sentiment. Every person who deserves to be a leader must have that empathy deep down. Now, are you ready for some dinner?"

"No" said Humperdinck shaking his head, "I'm not very hungry and I'm afraid not the best of company right now. I'll retire to my room for the evening. Thank you very much for including me in your day." He arose and almost trudged out of the room, deep in thought over the day's events.