The Diego Diaries: Bond(age) (dd6 372)
-0-Breakfast
The food came as jokes and raucous laughter filled the room. More came, soldiers, the usual slaggers and Roadbuster. They sat down and ordered, eating and drinking as the food arrived. It was happy, full of good cheer and amusing. All along the table, children stood on top, talking to everyone, eating what was offered, and tinkering with the stuff around them. Orion stood in front of Uncle Hercy with an amused expression. "Hoopy, you good?" he asked.
Hercy grinned. "Mostly."
"I love Hoopy. Hoopy good. He good. He my she," Orion said. He glanced down the table to Optimus. "Otis? He my she?"
Optimus grinned. "I thought I was your she."
Orion glanced at Hercy, then Optimus. Turning toward Hercy, he leaned in. "You my she, Hoopy. My she?" he asked quizzically.
"You bet."
Orion smiled brilliantly, then walked through condiments and plates down the array of tables to pause before Optimus. "Hoopy my she. You my she. All dem my shes," he said as he looked around.
"Do you like all shes?" Optimus asked as he stared at a kid that fascinated him intensely.
He nodded. "Yes. I love shes," he said as he nodded with a sense of agreement. "All shes good. I love shes. I love that she," he said pointing at Prowl. "Owl good she."
Snickers rose and died in the heat of Prowl's gimlet optics. Orion looked at everyone, then Prime. Prowl smirked. "What are their names, Orion? I forgot."
Orion stared at him, then everyone. "I telleded you, Owl." He then began to walk down the table naming everyone as he pointed with his fat baby digit. Everyone in the room watched him with mesmerized fascination. "Lou Maypo." (Maelstrom)
"Lou Domo." (Chromia)
"Lou Ping Pong!" GIANT SMILE ILLUMINATES THE REMARK!
Springer leaned closer. "No. My name is Atar."
HUGE laughter and gimlet optics from Ironhide were had. Orion basted himself in the moment, then continued.
"Lou Spliff." (Drift)
"Lou Lello. Lou Sudspoo. Lou Boo." (Sunstreaker, a newer version of Sideswipe and Bluestreak)
Sunstreaker leaned closer to him. "You mine."
Orion gripped his helm and hugged him tightly, then smiled at him for a moment before moving onward.
"Lou Mimi." (Miler who was delighted)
"Lou Ventoop." (Venture equally pleased)
"Lou Dev. Lou Topey. Who lou?" (Smokey Junior was a newer face)
Devcon and Smokescreen grinned at the little kid, then Dev leaned closer. "Another Topey."
Orion smiled, Topey 1 and 2 smiled, Dev kissed his tiny nose. He hugged himself, then continued.
"Lou Amma, lou Amma, lou Amma … why ammas?" he asked Optimus who was eating it up.
"Because." -Optimus
Orion stared at him, then smiled. "Lou Amma, LOU APPAS! LOU AND LOU AND LOU AND … why lou? You appas. All my shes appas. Ammas, too."
Scout, Trooper, Raptor, Turbine, Blackjack, Alor, Hard Drive, Delphi, Ravel, Tie Down, Chan, Corr, Docker, and Appa Ratchet roared with laughter. "THAT'S RIGHT! MY SWEET PERFECT LITTLE BABY HAS A LOT OF AMMAS AND APPAS!" Appa Ratchet said amidst the laughter.
Orion smiled at him, he smiled at Orion. Then the little imp continued, pointing at those sitting in booths and other tables.
"Lou Magtak." (a grinning Magnus)
"Lou RRRRR-CCCCCC." He grinned, then looked at Optimus. "My she telleded me her thing."
"You taught him your name?" Optimus asked Arcee who was laughing.
"It wasn't that hard," Arcee said with a grin. "Keep going, Spud."
"Lou Wee-ta." (Elita)
"Lou Jetttttt-ah." (Jetttttt-ah)
"Lou Spint." (Flint who was laughing loudly)
"Lou … lou poo-poo." He paused as he stared at Stu, Flint's live in partner, then laughed loudly. "I SAYED POO-POO!"
Huge laughter. Stu leaned in to Orion. "Stew."
"To. Lou Tu?"
Stu grinned, then nodded. "I am."
Orion hugged Stu's face, then continued.
"Lou Hissy." (Auntie Lissie who kissed him madly)
Grinning madly: "Lou TOTO! I, ORION LOVE TOTO! HE MY SHE!" He looked at the others with him. "Lou Lon."
Everyone blinked.
"Lou Bezel."
More blinking.
"Lou Kuuuuuup."
Huge laughter.
"Lou Ferry" (Terradive)
"Nailed it," Roto said with a smirk. He leaned in. "Springer isn't your father. I am."
HUGE lambasting of the impertinence commenced, then died. Orion smiled, then moved onward.
"Lou … I knowed lou. Lou Bumster."
Roadbuster stared at him, then leaned closer, his normally blank face still blank. "I'm your father."
HUGE UPROAR, then more coolness:
"LOU JOON! LOU VINN! LOU MY SHES! I LOVE LOU!" Hugs were had with Vinn and Joon, then he moved onward.
He looked at others he was familiar with because they had moved into the family orbit. He was pretty sure on names but not totally. He began anyway:
"Pico." (Edict)
"Hobo." (Hobbes who laughed)
"Proper." Pause. "BWAHAHAHA! LOU POOPER!" (Proteus who laughed loud and long)
"Lou Mama." (Madura looked ready to cry as he hugged Orion)
Moving onward with great concentration:
"Lou Jack. Lou Peppy. Peppo. Poo-Poo." He grinned. "BWAHAHAHA! I SAYED POO-POO! Lou know him?" he asked as he pointed at Perceptor who was sitting next to a wildly laughing Wheeljack.
HUGE, HUGE LAUGHTER!
"I knowed lou, she. Lou goed Spliff. Lou Maddow."
Huge surprise from all.
"Lou … lou Hopper. Hooper. POOPER!" (Hauser)
Orion laughed loudly, then turned to Optimus with a serious expression. "Why shes all pooper?"
It would take a moment for the laughter to die down.
"Lou Boo-Boo. Lou … lou Ando. Anpo. Po-Po. My not sayed good, me."
"I think you're a champion," Anders said as he kissed Orion's head.
Burris grinned. "I'm Boo-Boo now?"
Orion nodded. "You Boo-Boo. You my she." He continued leaving a very pleased Burris behind.
"Lou Lou-Lou." He smiled. "I SAYED LOU LOU LOU! I LOU LOU! BWAHAHAHA!" (Lucien)
Everyone joined him loudly, fascinated by the little goof ball. Orion looked at the young mechs who came next who stared at him with slight grins. The little slagger was hilarious. "Lou dem shes?" he asked as he pointed at a very amused Lucien. They shook their helms. He got their names and mulled them over. "Lou Tip-Tip and lou Peacock."
Cargo and Keystock snorted, then laughed in spite of themselves. Orion grinned, then looked at a mesmerized Laslo. "Lou know I, Orion. Lou La-La."
"I'm La-La. I'm getting that tattooed on my armor later, just so you know," Laslo said as he grinned at Lucien.
Huge laughter.
He looked at Edict and Hobbes's kids. Bron-E who knew him grinned. "I love you, Orion."
Orion smiled. "I, ORION, LOVE YOU, SHE! BONEY! MY SHE!" Huge, huge laughter. He looked at Riff and Rade-R. "Lou Him and She Him. Lou dem dere?" Orion asked as he looked at Bron-E.
Bron-E nodded, then said her brothers' names. He grinned, then looked at them. "RIFF is lou," he said pointing, then he said, "Lou Rippo. Ratto. Moo-Moo. What she?" he asked.
"Rade-R," Bron-E said around her laughter.
"RADE-R!"
He got applause.
"Lou, who dis she?" he asked Bron-E.
She told him.
He looked at Borealis for a moment. "Lou … lou Bow-Alice."
"Close enough," Borealis said with a laugh.
Orion looked around the room, noted everyone he could see, then grinned. He walked back to Optimus, then leaned against his arm, crossing his peds like an old lush at a bar. "Lou see, she. All my shes."
That's when he got tremendous applause.
Laslo wouldn't be the only one getting a new tattoo shortly as well.
-0-Conversation around the tables
"So I was saying to Marko, what about moving the date until later on and letting things sort of fall together," Burris was saying as he chatted with Laslo. They were discussing an event at the Halls of Order, a place all of them went to get comfort and counseling. The social whirl of the colony extended to all manner of clubs, movements and points of view.
"We were thinking that we could attend the first meeting but the second is going to be a miss if they don't change the schedule a bit. Lucien and I have a lot of friends in the group, so we were going to go …"
"... That kid is a piece of work," Drift said as he sat beside Springer watching Ratchet prevent Orion from squirting mustard down a straw into the sugar bowl. They were discussing it together pointedly. Appa Ratchet was howling with laughter and egging Orion on.
"He's really ours, just so you know. If anyone asks, tell them," Springer said.
"You sound like Prowl," Drift replied.
"It's way too early in the morning to insult me like that," Springer said.
"I HEARD THAT!" Prowl said as he leaned forward to look down the table.
"Tip a table and you'll feel better," Springer replied with a smirk.
"What's this, Prowl?" Miler asked as he fed Prima. The baby was sitting on the table kicking his peds as Miler spooned baby energon into his cute little pie hole. "What table tipping?"
Prowl glanced at his ada with curled peds, and not in a good way, then frowned at Springer. "It's nothing, Ada. Ignore him. He's insane."
"I remember when you tore your office to shreds when we didn't do what you wanted on the Veyo III mission," Kup said with a slight smirk. "We came back, you lost your processor and destroyed your office."
It was silent in the room as everyone turned to watch. Then Roadbuster nodded. "Then there was the time he tipped the table at Perseus VI. You were really mad."
Prowl stared from one to the other as other mechs began to tell the sad tale.
"I remember when you tipped my desk when I did not do what you wanted about the Mersinger mission," Optimus said with a grin.
Prowl stared at him with betrayal clearly splayed on his face. "You didn't follow the plans. The carefully drawn detailed plans. NONE OF YOU SLAGGERS WOULD! WHY THE FRAG WAS I EVEN THERE!?"
"Comedy relief?" Hercy offered with a grin.
Prowl glared at everyone, then his DEEPLY amused ada. He frowned. "You asked that question on purpose."
Miler looked at him with a bland expression. "Did I? Did I, Venture?"
Venture who was having a great time at his son's expense grinned. "I don't know. You're a very kind mech, Milie. You would never embarrass your son. Now ME on the other servo ..."
HUGE insulting and raucous laughter greeted that as Prowl sat back and crossed his arms. "You're right I did. You slaggers, you. You never followed my plans. We would have ended this fragging war vorns ago if you did. Slaggers. All of you."
"Does that include me?" Ratchet asked with a brilliant smile.
"Yes. When are we going on the town? The Squad's been asking," Prowl said as he glared at Ratchet.
"How about tomorrow night? That is, if we sober up by then," Ratchet asked as he looked at the membership around the room.
"Only if I can come," Proteus said with a laugh.
"Done deal," Ratchet said as the Squad applauded.
"Primus, I love my life," Partition said with spark felt emotion.
Maelstrom glanced at him. "Welcome to the club."
Prowl glared at everyone, then Prime. "You're required to back me to the wall."
"I think he did, Prowler," Wheeljack said. "Back to the wall and through to the other side."
Huge laughter.
"I own the duty schedule and requisitions and housing and ..."
Everyone stared at Prowl, then grinned. "Who's the slagger again?" -everyone
Prowl sniffed, then Orion stopped in front of him. "Owl good?"
"No. Owl not good. See everyone?" Prowl asked as he leaned forward toward Orion. Orion looked around, then nodded. "They're picking on me."
Orion's optics got round, then he turned to everyone. "LOU NOT DOING OWL! OWL GOOD SHE! ALL LOU! OWL GOOD! OWL GOOD DOING! OWL MY SHE!"
Everyone stared at Orion who was quivering with indignation and Prowl who was smirking smugly next to him.
"Slagger." -everyone
Prowl sat back, then grinned at Orion. "Want a cookie, my king?"
Orion smiled. "OWL GOOD! I DOING FOR SHE!" He looked at the others, then smirked. "Bad shes," he said with a fat knowing chuckle.
It would take a while for the laughter to die down again.
-0-TBC 6-1-18 edited 6-2-18
FANCYSPINNER: Family is good times. Take care down there. Know you my she. :D I wish I could send you some of our rain. Hugs, darling.